Four steps to happiness.

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Four steps to happiness. If it were only that easy, right?

I tend to be skeptical to X# steps to anything. Life tends to be much more complicated than that.

Still, we can all use a little help now and then. So with that as a context, I am going to share those four steps to happiness. These are helpful to me when I’m spinning my wheels while in a funk.

Tony’s four steps to happiness

ONE – Develop a grateful heart. Why is this one so hard? Why is gratitude such a scarce commodity? I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve concluded that we are in a culture that encourages pouting and whining. Even if we aren’t naturally prone to those tendencies, our world embraces them.

Think about it. We are surrounded by complainers. We gripe about the government, about our churches, about our families, about the cost of living, about – well, you get the idea. I want to make a distinction between complaining for the sake of being negative, and genuine concern succinctly expressed.

Here’s a couple of action points:

  1. Practice gratitude. Earlier this week I shared a potentially life-changing exercise. It’s simple, but my gosh, it’s magic. Bookend you day with taking pen to paper and actually writing out what you’re grateful for. First thing in the morning before your day gets started (or before someone starts it for you) write down three things you’re grateful for. The simpler, the better. Then, in the evening, do the same exercise again. It might be a repeat of what you wrote in the morning, and that’s okay. Just do it in writing. Don’t just think about it.
  2. Don’t complain about anything you can’t directly act on yourself. Hear me? You can gripe about the price of gas, but by complaining is it going to get any cheaper at the pump? Probably not, certainly not as a result of you mouthing off. Put out with an elected official? Griping to your friends won’t do anything about changing policy. In this case, you can certainly vote next time around. Problem solved – you took action instead of whining. (And it’s okay to try to influence others’ votes.)

TWO – Eliminate your sense of entitlement. Just because you think you deserve something doesn’t mean that you should automatically get it. Whatever it is you want, work hard, be smart, and go after it yourself rather than waiting for someone to give it to you.

Here’s a healthy attitude to adopt: You don’t deserve anything. Anything you have is because you earned it. Of course, there’s grace – spiritual and otherwise – but that’s not earned, either. Grace, by definition, is not something you earn or work for. But you don’t deserve good health, or a job, or winning lottery numbers. All those come either because you worked for them or they were gifted to you in some fashion. And, head’s up – luck has nothing to do with any of this.

I am having to really restrain myself here, but so many of the issues we face in our country (and if you aren’t a United States citizen – if you’re a Canadian, British, or other reader – you may have a different outlook) are due to people think they’re owed something. I mean, you’re supposed to at least get a participant’s trophy, right? Ack.

THREE – Root out the weeds of envy. See my plant- based analogy there? The picture is that of a garden full of, say, roses. And springing up around those roses are noxious weeds. As long as those weeds are there, they are preventing the roses from being displayed in their full glory. We can talk about weeds in a vegetable garden if you like.

Point is – envy works the same way. Envy is insidious and creeps up on you. Unchecked, it can make you into a selfish, bitter little clod. I promise that you will always see folks that you perceive are better/better off than you are. They may seem to have better family relationships, more money and stuff, more success in general. That, however, is just what you see, or what they choose for you to see.

Nobody has it all together. It’s just a matter of degree. 

The hymnwriter said it well: “Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.” That’s good stuff right there.

Short version – be content.

FOUR – Start living wisely. This one might be a moving target for you. What is wisdom, anyway?

I can tell you what it’s not. It’s not just having knowledge, or even being smart.

We have access to tons of knowledge and information. Want answers? A couple of clicks and you’re there. Instead of going to the library, scrounging around in the card catalog, and digging through the stacks – hello, Google! (Some of you don’t know what a card catalog is. Google it.)

Wisdom is applied knowledge. It even transcends “smart decisions.” I make a distinction between “choosing the smart thing to do” and “choosing the wise thing to do.” The smart thing can be based on collecting a lot of data and making a call based on what you’ve learned. Knowledge and experience can play into this, and that’s not bad. The wise thing is based on applied knowledge and calls for judgement and discernment. In its perfect form, wisdom is God-given. Knowledge is knowing how to use a gun; wisdom is knowing when to keep it holstered and when to use it. Or, if talking about guns is “offensive” to you, knowledge is knowing what a red light means; wisdom is putting on the brakes. In spiritual terms, knowledge learns of God; wisdom loves Him.

Hopefully, these strategies will help.

These four steps to happiness aren’t some sort of quick fix or a magic formula. But I’d hope that they can at least serve as a jumping off place for when you are down and trying to identify what’s put you in a funk.

 

Pilgrim, sojourner, encourager.

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