I thought of a name for my autobiography, if I ever decide to write it: Well, That Didn’t Work.

My life is full of things that didn’t go the way I’d wanted or planned. Some incidents I’d drop in that file marked “It’s Just a Thing.” Another file would be marked, “What Were You Thinking?” And, unfortunately, one file would be marked “You Blew It.”

That third file would be full of unpleasant accounts.

I’m prone to be unduly hard on myself. Can I get an “amen?”

I’m learning, though, that all my past mistakes, those moments of weakness, are redeemable. Check this out.

The scene is the Garden of Gethsemane—a pivotal moment not just in biblical history, but as a metaphor for our own spiritual journeys. Picture it: the disciples, those closest to Jesus, succumbed to human weakness, dozing off when they were needed most. When they woke, imagine the weight of their regret, the sinking feeling of having missed a crucial moment to support their friend and teacher. It’s a scenario many of us can relate to on a personal level.

This story isn’t just about physical sleep; it’s about moments of spiritual slumber, times when we’ve been absent when it mattered most—missed opportunities to stand by someone, to make a difference, or to take a step of faith. And like the disciples, we often wake up to a harsh self-judgment: “How could I have let that happen?” We beat ourselves up, thinking it’s all over, that we’ve blown it for good.

But here’s the twist: despair isn’t an anomaly; it’s part of the human experience. It’s as common as the cold, and just as unwelcome. Yet, it’s in these moments of despair that Jesus steps in with a message that’s both startling and soothing. He essentially tells us, “Okay, you missed that one. But let’s not dwell on it. There’s more ahead.”

I like the concept of leaving our past failures in the “sweet embrace of Christ.” It’s about allowing ourselves to move on, not ignoring our mistakes, but not letting them anchor us in place either. Jesus’s approach is not one of dismissal but of gentle redirection: “Get up, and do the next thing.”

And what is this “next thing”? It’s moving forward with trust and faith in Him, praying and acting from a place of redemption, not regret. The best thing we could do is shift our focus from what we’ve done wrong to what we can do right, starting now.

This message is incredibly relevant for all of us. How often do we find ourselves paralyzed by past missteps? How frequently do we let the fear of failure stop us from stepping out again? Yet, here we’re reminded that our past doesn’t have to dictate our future. Our spiritual journey is not defined by how many times we’ve fallen, but by how many times we get up—and who we’re walking with.

Want some encouragement? The message is clear: there’s always a next step, a new chapter waiting to be written with God by our side.

So, let’s take this advice to heart. Let’s not let the sense of past failure defeat our next step. Instead, let’s lean into the “invincible future” with Jesus, trusting in His redemption, and always ready to do the next thing.

Until next time, keep walking in faith and light, embracing each new day and opportunity with the joy and assurance that comes from knowing He’s got us, every step of the way.

What do you do when God doesn’t fix things? If you’re a believer, does that fit into your worldview?

There are lots of things I wasn’t aware of when I became a Christian. My faith was shallow, because I was just a baby in the faith. I didn’t know there were times when God doesn’t fix things. I thought if I prayed just the right kind of prayers and believed, then everything would go my way.

No. It doesn’t work that way. Right?

I made the comment the other day that the natural state of the Christian was suffering. (That statement is a great platform for church growth, right?) What I’ve come to understand, though, is that suffering doesn’t cancel out joy. What a paradox.

Fact is, sometimes God doesn’t answer, at least in the fashion we believe He should. It’s that old adage of God answers all prayers, either with yes, no, or wait.

“No” doesn’t suit us well. That means that in some cases, God doesn’t fix things, at least the way I wanted Him to.

Ancient script is full of this line of thinking. I don’t know why we gloss over 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, like this was something unique to the apostle Paul and not to us:

^{7 …}or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul sort of answers his own question here, because God doesn’t fix things, at least in the manner he begged Him to do.

Paul prays the same prayer three times. The first time, I just bet he believed that God would deliver. That mystery thorn? One and done.

Not.

I wonder how Paul’s prayer sounded:

“Lord, I really need you to help me. I need to have this thorn dealt with and removed. It’s awful, and painful, and I’d be much more effective for You if You’d take it away. It’s satanic.”

God responds: “Sorry, pal.”

Paul gives it another shot:

”God, really. I don’t get it. Things aren’t better. They may even be worse. I feel like I’m handicapped. I don’t see how I can serve like You want me to. I’d be a much more effective leader, teacher, and friend. I know You can deal with this thing, once and for all. Can I count on You to be God and bring glory to Yourself by delivering me?”

God says, “Your prayers are noted. Carry on.”

Paul, round three:

”Almighty God, I know when Jesus died He took all our sins on Himself on the cross. If I’m in sin in some way, and that’s why You aren’t dealing with this horrific thorn, then please forgive me. I repent. I’m in such awful pain, and I don’t know how long I can go on like this. I’m begging, in Jesus’ name … heal me and take this away from me.”

And God said, “I don’t guess you get it. Here’s what you need to learn: My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.“

Paul says, “Roger that.”

Here’s our lesson, and it’s a good one to embrace. Hard, but good. It’s what we need to learn when we think God doesn’t fix things:

• When you’re weak and in the lowest of lows, guess what – you actually are strong.
• God understands when you’re crushed by grief, when you’re about to lose it, when you’re frustrated to the max, and you are at the end of your proverbial rope.
• The transaction is for you to exchange your weakness for His strength. It’s totally okay to admit you ain’t got what it takes.
• You are part of The Plan. You may not be privy to it, but that’s okay, too. Just accept the ride.
• Here’s your word for the day: Release.
• Be well. Be blessed.

From time to time, the good folks at #BibleGatewayPartner give me the opportunity to review a new product, typically a Bible. I’m a member of the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid. They don’t pay me for this, although I am provided a review copy. The opinions I give are strictly my own.

This week I received a copy of the Timeless Truths Bible, published by Thomas Nelson. I am intrigued. 

For starters, this is the New English Translation. I’d never seen it. There are beaucoup Bible translations out there, and I’m sure you have a favorite. The New English Translation was copyrighted in 1996 and 2019, and this particular edition was copyrighted this year. 

I don’t know that I’d switch to the NET as my preferred translation, but I have definitely thrown it into my study mix. You can read all about how this translation came about at netbible.com/net-bible-preface, but the short version is that a team of more than 25 of the world’s foremost biblical scholars from across several denominations took a swipe at this job. What is so cool is that this group – and their work has been transparent and accessible during the whole translation process – has hit a sweet spot. The Bible does a commendable job of balancing between a strict word-for word translation (which can be stiff and awkward carried to an extreme) or own that is loose and easy to read (which can be so loose as to be a paraphrase.) Both approaches have their adherents, but this translation manages to pull off that balancing act, for the most part. 

So that’s the Bible itself. What, then, makes it the Timeless Truths Bible?

Here’s where I got hooked. I don’t fancy myself a theologian, but I am intrigued by what the scholars from decades or even centuries ago had to say about certain biblical passages. To that end, you’ll find explanations from folks like Augustine, Bunyan, Calvin, Clement of Alexandria, Edwards, Spurgeon, Henry, Jerome, Wesley … want me to go on? I could. 

Every chapter in the Bible contains a commentary from a genuine giant of the faith. It’s provocative stuff. Insights? You’ll find them by the boatload. The quotes and commentary are found in the generous margins of each page (great for note taking). Those marginal notes include the brief commentary, its source, and who wrote it. 

This is totally fresh. There are study Bibles galore available out there, but I’ve never seen one like this. 

Other features include book introductions, biographies of men and women transformed by the Gospel, and a whole section of creeds and confessions. Before you blow off that last section – maybe you’re not a creedal type – note that you can see how the church has always valued the word of God. God has worked in His people throughout history, and this section amplifies this.

One other feature that I thoroughly enjoyed: scattered throughout this Bible are selections of sacred art, printed on glossy paper. Those art pieces are drawn from all different eras of church history, by a diverse collection of artists from many different styles and cultures. What a great complement to the commentary! You’ll find a list of the artwork and short interpretations of each scene. This is good. 

By now you’ve realized this isn’t a typical study Bible. It isn’t intended to be. Rather, it’s a source of rich commentary on scripture written by those much smarter than me (and possibly you too!)

I recommend this Bible as a worthy addition to your library. 

Want a copy? Find it at bit.ly/3RtzaBU or on Amazon at amzn.to/48fTCMB . 

For more on the translation itself, visit timelesstruthsbible.com .

Be blessed. Be well!

Facing Trials with Authenticity: When God Chooses Real Over Superficial

Trials and tribulations are an inevitable part of life. You know, there are days when we wish we had a magic wand to wave away our problems, or a switch we could flip to fast-forward through the hard times. But if there’s one thing we can take solace in, it’s the knowledge that our struggles don’t catch God off guard. He sees them, understands them, and has a purpose behind each one.

When I say there are no magical words to take away your pain or speed up the trial you’re enduring, I mean it. But this isn’t a call for despair. Instead, it’s an invitation to embrace the reality that the struggle is a part of your story. Consider the most transformative stories in the Bible: Moses wandering in the desert, David facing Goliath, Paul enduring shipwrecks and imprisonments. Their trials weren’t quick fixes. They were journeys that molded, shaped, and refined them into the people God intended them to be.

One of the most reassuring truths is that God isn’t interested in the superficial. He doesn’t prioritize the Instagram-perfect moments, the airbrushed versions of our lives, or the temporary highs we get from feel-good quotes. Instead, God is all about authenticity. The term I like to use is, “God only does REAL.” Now, what does that mean?

In a world where so much feels curated and artificial, where we’re often sold quick fixes and shallow comfort, God’s approach is refreshingly genuine. He doesn’t promise us a life without challenges, but He does assure us of His unwavering presence through them. This isn’t about the fleeting motivation that gives a momentary lift. This is about lasting transformation – a deep, soulful change that not only affects us but also influences those around us.

By going through genuine struggles, we gain authentic wisdom and strength. This isn’t the kind of wisdom you acquire from reading a self-help book or attending a weekend seminar. This is wisdom born from experience, from wrestling with challenges, from sometimes stumbling and getting back up with God’s help. The strength we gain isn’t just physical or emotional; it’s a spiritual fortitude that anchors us even in the fiercest storms.

And there’s a ripple effect to all of this. When others see you – a real person, genuinely transformed by real experiences with a real God – they are inspired. Not by the artificial, but by the genuine growth and resilience they see in you. It becomes a testimony of God’s grace, of His ability to turn trials into triumphs, and of the beauty that can arise from ashes.

In closing, if you’re in the midst of a challenging season, I encourage you to lean into the authenticity of it all. Recognize that God is in the business of real transformations, not superficial ones. Let your struggle shape you, refine you, and prepare you for the next chapter of your story. And always remember: even when the journey is tough, with God by your side, the destination is worth it.

Talk later!

The Secret Places of Our Will: A Dance with God’s Purpose

“Our battles are first won or lost in the secret places of our will, never in full view of the world.”

Think about it; the personal battles we face are not fought in arenas filled with cheering crowds. They’re fought in the quiet corners of our minds and hearts, where we wrestle with our desires, decisions, and God’s will for our lives. The world may never see these battles, but they are as real and significant as any physical war.

Take a moment to consider those things you wrestle with in your private thoughts. Maybe it’s a decision about your career, family, or a personal habit you want to change. Whatever it is, know that you’re not alone in these struggles.

“You’ll never have any idea what other people are really going through. Just know that other believers wrestle with God’s will, just like you.”

Isn’t that a comforting thought? We all face challenges, and we all wrestle with God’s will in our lives. Sometimes we wonder why things aren’t going our way or why we feel a nagging sensation that something is amiss. The beautiful part of this struggle is that it leads us closer to understanding God’s purpose for our lives.

The wrestling is not a sign of weakness or failure; it’s a dance, a continuous process of aligning our will with God’s. When we wrestle, we engage, we ask questions, we seek understanding, and in the process, we grow stronger and closer to the Creator.

Now, here’s the upbeat part: These battles, these wrestlings with God’s will, they shape us into the individuals we are meant to be. They prepare us for bigger roles in life, molding us into stronger, more compassionate beings. They teach us empathy, patience, and resilience.

Next time you find yourself in a secret battle, don’t be disheartened. Embrace it! Know that in that struggle, you are finding your path, shaping your character, and learning to dance with God’s will.

Remember, your fellow believers are dancing too. Maybe not to the same tune or in the same way, but they are engaged in the same beautiful, sometimes complex dance with destiny.

So, let’s celebrate these battles. Let’s find joy in the wrestlings. Let’s encourage each other and understand that we’re all on this journey together, each finding our way, each learning our steps, and each dancing our unique dance with God’s purpose.

Talk soon!

Hello, my esteemed readers! It’s that time of the year again. Time to dust off the marital playbook and reflect on the 43-year long journey I’ve spent tripping, stumbling, and occasionally sprinting towards marital bliss. I hope my wisdom proves useful, and if not, may it at least provide you with a few chuckles. Here are my 43 lessons learned, one for each year of wedded… adventure.

1. Marry someone with a different favorite cereal. This way, you’ll never have to argue over the last bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at 3 am.
2. Always keep your spouse’s favorite snack in the pantry. That way, you have a foolproof way to end arguments. “Honey, I…wait, is that a Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie?”
3. The secret to a happy marriage? Two words: separate blankets.
4. Understanding is crucial. After 43 years, I now understand she is always right, and I usually don’t have any idea what’s going on.
5. Remember, your spouse is not a mind reader. If they were, they’d probably be on tour with Cirque Du Soleil, not arguing over the thermostat with you.
6. Always have an emergency jar of strawberry preserves on hand. Trust me on this.
7. Marry someone who laughs at your jokes. Even the ones that aren’t funny. Especially those ones.
8. Always carry a photo of your spouse in your wallet. When your credit card bill comes in, it’ll remind you why you’re broke.
9. If you must argue, make it about something significant. Like whether it’s pronounced “gif” or “jif”.
10. Learn the art of compromise. For example, she hates spiders, and they don’t bother me and I’m willing to let them hang out and eat bugs. So, we compromised, and now we live with a spider named Phil.
11. You’re not just marrying your spouse, you’re marrying their choice of TV shows too. Brace yourself.
12. Perfect the ‘nod and smile’ early on. It comes in handy when you have no idea what she’s talking about but want to appear interested.
13. Once you realize that the dishwasher is a mysterious creature which no human can ever load correctly, you’re halfway to a happy marriage.
14. If you’re wrong, admit it. If you’re right, tread lightly. Really, really lightly.
15. The couple who DIYs together, stays together. Even if it does take three weeks, four trips to the hardware store, and an emotional breakdown to build a birdhouse.
16. In a happy marriage, communication is key. In an ecstatic one, selective hearing reigns supreme.
17. Marry someone who can cook. Love might be the secret ingredient, but knowing how to make real biscuits helps.
18. Remember to celebrate the small victories. Like that time when she finally agreed your favorite armchair didn’t belong on the porch.
19. If you can survive painting a room together, you can survive anything.
20. Accept that the toilet paper will never be on the holder the ‘right’ way. The sooner you come to terms with this, the happier you’ll be.
21. In marriage, you must be patient. Patience is what you have when you have too many witnesses to act otherwise.
22. A happy marriage is finding that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
23. Remember, it’s not about who wears the pants. It’s about who controls the TV remote.
24. Honesty is vital in a marriage. Just not when she asks if her favorite shirt makes her look fat.
25. If you’re lucky enough to find someone as weird as you, never let them go. Unless they put milk in before the cereal. Then you should reconsider.
26. Remember, marriage is about seeing each other at your worst and sticking around anyway. Even if ‘worst’ means singing show tunes in dinosaur pajamas.
27. Regular date nights are key. They remind you why you fell in love, and who’s turn it is to pay the bill.
28. When in doubt, remember the three magical words: “You’re right, dear.”
29. The secret to a lasting marriage? Treat it like a seance. Sit in a dark room, speak to people who aren’t there, and quietly hope that the spirits move the coffee table.
30. Marry someone who can laugh when you trip and fall… but who will also help you up and ask if you’re okay.
31. Always hold hands. If you let go, she shops.
32. Let her have the last piece of cake. If it’s red velvet, this can add years to your marriage.
33. If you find socks all over the house, you’re not alone. You’re married.
34. Love is grand. But having the whole bed to yourself every now and then is too.
35. Remember, a perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. Or give up on being able to meet for lunch at the same time.
36. Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.
37. Learn to apologize. Repeat. And again.
38. Keep her favorite flowers in mind. And if all else fails, remember that ‘flour’ for baking has often a similar pronunciation.
39. Just remember, love is all you need. And a reliable Wi-Fi connection.
40. Learn to forgive. Because she will remember, and she will bring it up at the most inopportune times.
41. Hug daily. But check your spouse’s hands for permanent markers first.
42. A marriage is based on trust. Especially trusting that she won’t share that embarrassing story from a classic vacation with your friends.
43. Lastly, never stop saying “I love you”. Even if it’s just because you forgot to take out the trash. Again.
44. BONUS: Say “I love you,” and mean it. 

There you have it. 43 years of wedded bliss wrapped up into 43 little nuggets of wisdom. Remember, a sense of humor is vital in marriage. After all, if you can’t laugh at yourselves, who will? Be blessed, and here’s to another 43 years!

From Tony: I’ve known Julie Anne for decades. She and our daughter Amy graduated from high school together.

We’ve all had our challenges. Julie Anne is no different. She has quite the testimony. She’s made herself really vulnerable with this guest blog. It sure resonates with me. I love this girl. AND she’s gonna be a brand-new mama here soon!

That’s Julie Anne and her husband Kyle, above. She couldn’t have done any better than if she’d let me pick him out.

Throughout my life anxiety has stolen a lot of my time. A regular dialogue in my mind might sound like this:

“Not again. God, I am anxious. I’m so worried. I can’t breathe.”

The dialogue can be more specific to a situation.

“I drove all the way here and now I can’t get out of the car. Why am I so bad at everything? Why can’t I just get out of the car and do what I need to do like a regular person? I can’t go in. I need to leave.”

And sometimes, it can be downright evil.

“I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t know how much more of this life I can take.”

When I have a thought like this, the thoughts flood, tears come, panic attacks my body, and I intuitively begin looking for a way out. How can I make this feeling stop, NOW?

To deal with anxiety in the past my, thoughts would spiral to temporary fixes. Plenty of quick fixes and distractions are available online and everywhere. Potent new mushroom coffee, THC gummies, yoga, and the plethora of colorful medications advertised at every gas station. Power affirmations and guided meditations. I could always see another doctor or therapist. I could try carrying around those beautiful crystals or purging my home with sage.

“Who else do I know that deals with this? What advice can they give me? I will try anything to get some relief.”

Before I found the truth, I did manage to find a little temporary relief at times. But in the pit of the night, while driving in my car, on an aisle in the grocery store, or after hearing a triggering remark from practically anyone, the anxiety would rise up and I would shut down. I can still hear a life coach yelling at me to “get those emotions under control!” Instead, I would find a way to get home, bury myself under the blankets, and pray that I did not have to exist for another day. My desperate attempt to find a cure for this feeling led me to some terrible places. I listened to advise from the wrong sources. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Snake oil salesmen.

The urge to search and try to find something, anything, to fill up this pit of fear and turmoil beckoned me to try to control my thoughts and feelings with medications and chemicals. The people I sought answers from did not always have them or wanted to take advantage of my condition. It was frustrating and disheartening.

Now, get this. I was a practicing Christian at the time I was walking around in so much crippling fear. Eventually, I cried out to God. Today I still wonder why my faith was one of the last resources I turned to. Only when I was desperate at the last minute. How distracted by the world I must have been. But I remember thinking, “Jesus is a wonderful counselor, right? And if I knew someone else was dealing with this, I would tell them to pray or pray with them.” So why was it so difficult for me to make that decision for myself? I began to ponder if I really trusted God at all. 

It can be so easy to tell others to trust God, have faith, and that God is in control. But do I really believe it myself when faced with a trial of my own? Trusting God is a different story when confronted with the unknown when you lose a job or a relationship. Those nagging, “what if” questions crop up. This happens to me when I am alone in the middle of the night. So I realized perhaps I needed more practice at what I preached. I felt like a fraud, and the rehearsed Sunday School answers were not going to be enough to get me where I needed to be in my faith. I remembered the Priscilla Shier “Armor of God” study that took me through the book of Ephesians. And then I remembered that I had a sword, also known as the Word of God.

Ephesians 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.

So how do I deal with this now? How can I prevent these anxious feelings in the future?

I saturate my mind and spirit with the Word of God. My own personal sword to imagine cutting through the walls of the anxiety pit. I am mindful of what I hear, watch, and surround myself with. Bible study is the most useful tool I have discovered that will help me right when I need it the most. With practice, the Word becomes alive and active in my life. Phrases from passages I have studied in depth come into my mind just as quickly as the thoughts that cripple me into a pit of nausea and doom. Stories that showed me the truth about God’s character replay in my mind, and I think to myself, “Oh wow, this is just like what I read about. I know what to do. I know what God did then, and what he can do now.”

Now, it’s easy to look up a helpful bible verse when you find yourself in a pit. A quick Google search of “verses to help with ____” can lead to plenty of biblical quotes, scriptures, and uplifting blogs. Don’t forget the memes and the “Not Today, Satan!” merchandise. However, for me, this was another quick fix. The verses became mere words and lost their meaning at times. The sweet, friendly reminders that God is love and that I should never be anxious just didn’t hit deep enough for me to find true relief. I needed to dig in. Undisciplined, I prayed to fall in love with the word, and I did.

Studying the context the verses came from became a fascination of mine. I have been led to study different books of the bible in a way that gives me knowledge of the book’s author, the background, and the audience, and to consider throughout what the book or part of the book says about God’s character. Then I ask myself how that knowledge reflects on me. It is remarkable what comes to mind about how I can use the scripture I just studied in the future. I can give credit to this strategy to Jen Wilkin, who I like to call my “biblical literacy coach”. She encourages Christians to read the bible without looking up someone else’s interpretation of the text’s meaning.

There is an indescribable peace that comes from knowing the context in which the verses come from, and many times during a moment of panic the exact words and phrases come into my mind. I remember that God is real. I really can trust him. I recall times I trusted him before and how everything worked out. Maybe not as I imagined or would have planned, but I can rest my anxious heart in His hands a little easier.

Another thing God revealed to me about suffering is that I don’t have to carry around my anxious thoughts alone. I talk to my pastor when the situation is enough to bring me to the point where I simply cannot control my thoughts. I look for people at church in positions of leadership, and friends in my life group. I confide in them and ask for prayer. Talking about my struggles out loud with another person really does take the power away from the fear and anxiety I experience.

It takes a certain amount of courage and willingness to be vulnerable in front of another person. When I do not have the ability to be vulnerable, I pray for willingness and let God do his work to make me open my heart and mind. I can, of course, always get on my knees and pray about it directly to God. However, God’s ways are mysterious and higher than mine. He does not always immediately grant me an answer or a sign. God has forced me to put my pride aside and taught me to to be humble by allowing the anxiety to stir until I have to talk about it with someone.

When you have been hurt by people, trusting someone else is not easy. If that is the case I pray for God to give me discernment and to place people in my life that I can trust. Even just one person. When I am willing, he is faithful to provide me with the right people he personally equipped to teach and guide me.

(Ephesians 4:11-13 “And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ”)

One mistake I made was only talking to other people about my problems. I do need to pray and talk to God about it, too. If I go to too many people, I get too many ideas. Sometimes I forget that my discernment can be unreliable if I’m relying on just my own understanding. God has shown me that he wants me to come to him with everything. He wants to be a part of the conversations I have with other Christians. When I ask him to be there, he is faithful. I feel especially aware of his presence when the person I talk to prays with me. 

(Psalms 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will guide you with my eye. Matthew 18:20 For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.)


Why me, God? Why do I have to deal with this?

God is with us in our suffering. I have often wondered why I get anxious in the first place. Why can’t God just heal me altogether so that I never have to feel this way again? But then I think about how much I have gained from dealing with it. I said before that trusting God was easier said than done. But when thrown into the fire, where I have no choice but to burn up in fear or finally let go and take the hand of the one I claim is my Savior, I am forced to trust. Then I have an actual experience to add to my testimony as proof to others (and to myself!) that God can be trusted and that he cares for me so much. If I lived nothing but I peaceful, comfortable life, these experiences would not be authentic. I need to go through trials and suffering in this life so that I can boldly tell others with confidence that God will take care of them in their own struggles. I can share my real experiences and give back to the One who sacrificed so much for me.

(Psalms 46:7 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is among us; the God of Israel is our fortress.)

When it comes down to it, I can be grateful for the pain because it gives me a purpose. My purpose in life is to know God and make him known. Anxiety is definitely a thorn in my side, but as I mature in faith, I am grateful for the opportunity to use it to help others in the same battle. We all have the opportunity to see the gift in the suffering, and the hope that comes from knowing we have eternity with Christ in the end. One day, all the suffering will come to an end. No one will struggle with fear and anxiety.

(Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.)

(Revelation 21:5
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”)

If you struggle with fear and anxiety like me, my heart goes out to you. Does any of this pique your interest in studying the bible? The book of Philippians is a great place to start. It’s only four chapters! I recently discovered a 6 session study with another one of my favorite bible teachers, Jennie Allen. The study is titled “Get Out of Your Head, A Study in Philippians”. I am actually going through it right now, and I highly recommend it. I will be writing about my experiences during this study in the future. I look forward to sharing with you and I pray that if you are struggling, God will do for you what he has done for me.

Be well on your journey, united in Christ we stand. 

I’ll start with a confessional. Sometimes, Christmas music gets on my nerves. But before you call the grinch squad on me, I’ll explain. And I will use The Little Drummer Boy as a jumping off place.

I love Christmas carols. Love ‘em. I might listen to them year round. But some of the secular stuff can really wear thin. White Christmas? Good with that. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day? Check – I like it.

But Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree? Santa Baby? Mariah Carey? The whole Bob Dylan Christmas album, which is like some sort of surreal fever dream? No thanks, ma‘am.

Then there’s The Little Drummer Boy. More carol than secular. And for some reason I’ve done a deep dive with this one recently.

Don’t look for him in scripture. You won’t find him. If you look for the little drummer boy in the context of the lyrics (aside from the pa-rum-pa-pum-pums), you can piece together enough clues to tell you that he showed up at the same time as the wise men. (And for a special treat, listen to this song as performed by Pentatonix.)

Check this out.

Our finest gifts we bring … to lay before the king … so to honor Him … when we come.

Here are the wise men. Traditionally, there were three of them, based on the three gifts.

They brought good things. Expensive, even priceless things.

And then there’s the little drummer boy.

Little baby … I am a poor boy too. I have no gift to bring that’s fit to give our King. Shall I play for you on my drum?

The wise men brought their finest gifts. The little drummer boy had nothing of material value. He just played his drum.

I played my best for Him. Then He smiled at me … me and my drum.

I wonder how the little drummer boy felt?

I hope he didn’t feel unworthy. Because what he gave Jesus was sufficient because he gave with a pure heart.

This raises a couple of questions:

• What are you afraid to give God because you don’t think it’s good enough?
• What do you do when you see other do things for Jesus? What’s your response?

File those away. We’ll come back.

Let me take you somewhere else – specifically, Mark 12:41-44.

⁴¹ Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. ⁴² But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

⁴³ Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. ⁴⁴ They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” (NIV)

Can you see any parallels to the widow and the little drummer boy?

Maybe the widow thought what she gave wasn’t fit for God, but she gave anyway. It was all she could do.

The rich people threw plenty into the treasury. Jesus and His disciples were watching this, and then the little widow hobbles up to the treasury and drops those two coins in.

If you were there, what would you think? How would you feel?

I’d feel humbled at best, and unworthy at worst.

Giving doesn’t come naturally to me. I can be a stingy, self-centered, worldly old dude. I like stuff, and I don’t part with it easily.

God help me.

Both the widow and the little drummer boy had so little to give, but they both had hearts that longed to worship with all they have.

Let’s break this down, in conclusion. Actually, I’ll just ask that you and I answer these questions:

1. What are you afraid to give because you don’t think it’s good enough? Are you so mired in your sense of unworthiness that you don’t think you have anything to offer?
2. Have you been holding back anything from God? I’m not just talking about the things. I’m talking about your heart, your will, your whole life.
3. What are some ways you can give to God?
4. Have you ever seen God multiply something you thought was very small?
5. What’s something you’ve been thinking specifically about to give Jesus for His use? Want to be encouraged? Want to be a hope-giver? That’s my thoughts.

Where is your heart today?

I play my best for you.

I give you all I have.

God bless the little drummer boy. God bless us.

Sometimes I run across something that is so meaningful, so provocative, and so timely that I simply stand back in awe.

What I’m sharing today is by way of Trevin Wax – one of the most first-class intellects I’ve ever experienced, and who is a joy to be around.

I was in a meeting with him a couple of years ago, and he shared with us some musings from Clyde S. Kilby.  I wasn’t familiar with this gentleman, but I’ve since learned that he was an American writer and English professor, best known for his scholarship on the Inklings, especially J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis. Kilby was born in Johnson City, Tennessee, and died in Columbus, Mississippi. That makes him one of my people.

If you know much about me, you’ll understand that this got my attention real quick.

Kilby wrote ten resolutions for mental and spiritual flourishing. I wish I had a fraction of his insight and writing ability.

I’m pleased to share them with you. Be challenged, and be blessed! It’s far better than anything I could have done on my own today.

1. At least once every day I shall look steadily up at the sky and remember that I, a consciousness with a conscience, am on a planet traveling in space with wonderfully mysterious things above and about me.

2. Instead of the accustomed idea of a mindless and endless evolutionary change to which we can neither add nor subtract, I shall suppose the universe guided by an Intelligence which, as Aristotle said of Greek drama, requires a beginning, a middle, and an end. I think this will save me from the cynicism expressed by Bertrand Russell before his death when he said: “There is darkness without, and when I die there will be darkness within. There is no splendor, no vastness anywhere, only triviality for a moment, and then nothing.”

3. I shall not fall into the falsehood that this day, or any day, is merely another ambiguous and plodding twenty-four hours, but rather a unique event, filled, if I so wish, with worthy potentialities. I shall not be fool enough to suppose that trouble and pain are wholly evil parentheses in my existence, but just as likely ladders to be climbed toward moral and spiritual manhood.

4. I shall not turn my life into a thin, straight line which prefers abstractions to reality. I shall know what I am doing when I abstract, which of course I shall often have to do.

5. I shall not demean my own uniqueness by envy of others. I shall stop boring into myself to discover what psychological or social categories I might belong to. Mostly I shall simply forget about myself and do my work.

6. I shall open my eyes and ears. Once every day I shall simply stare at a tree, a flower, a cloud, or a person. I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are but simply be glad that they are. I shall joyfully allow them the mystery of what Lewis calls their “divine, magical, terrifying and ecstatic” existence.

7. I shall sometimes look back at the freshness of vision I had in childhood and try, at least for a little while, to be, in the words of Lewis Carroll, the “child of the pure unclouded brow, and dreaming eyes of wonder.”

8. I shall follow Darwin’s advice and turn frequently to imaginative things such as good literature and good music, preferably, as Lewis suggests, an old book and timeless music.

9. I shall not allow the devilish onrush of this century to usurp all my energies but will instead, as Charles Williams suggested, “fulfill the moment as the moment.” I shall try to live well just now because the only time that exists is now.

10. Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on the assumption that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord, but that today, this very day, some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect who calls himself Alpha and Omega.

Talk soon. Comments welcome!

These are challenging days – at least when it comes to being real. Just be real.

I love, love, love hearing people’s stories, seeing their photos, and sharing in their triumphs and their heartaches.

That’s just me, that’s how I’m hardwired, and I have learned not to apologize for who I am. If you want to talk to me about the weather, I’ll engage you and mostly enjoy that conversation … for a little while. It won’t be long before I’m ready to move on to more substantive things.

Now, if you want to talk about the origin of the universe, or the worst argument you ever had with your dad, or how you got that diamond-shaped scar on your forearm, or how your ancestors got to America, or what keeps you awake at night … if you want to talk to me about your hopes, dreams, and aspirations … I am right there with you. I want you to just be real with me.

The students I’ve worked with over the years have joked about “Tony and his deep, meaningful conversations.”

(Don’t infer from all this that I won’t engage you in any topic you’d like to discuss. I’ll be polite and you’ll never know the difference. But I can only pretend I’m fascinated for so long.)

It’s all about being real. Just be real.

Don’t try to hide from who you really are. You can fool others sometimes (but you aren’t as good as that as you think. People see right through you … they just don’t bother making a big deal out of it.) You can fool yourself even more frequently (and in its fully-developed state, it’s called delusion). You never fool God, of course.

Point is, don’t try to hide yourself from you or anyone else. Just be real. Be authentic.

Authenticity means that you embrace the you nobody knows.

Which means that that hidden you needs to admit some things to the conscious you.

Social media allows you to present whatever heavily-edited version of yourself to the world you want, and the world may be none the wiser. That guy you met on Instagram who is an investment banker? He might very well be a Sherpa in Tibet. You might never know the difference.

With all that said, let me give you four paradoxical thoughts. These might bring about a check in your spirit. These are about knowing who you are and what you should do to  nurture your lean soul. It’ll help you to just be real.

1. Be confused. It’s how God teaches you new things. Ask the hard questions, even those you know can’t be answered. Bewilderment, by its nature, seeks its own clarity. And God can use those hard, unanswerable questions to teach you truths you can’t learn any other way. It’s those “why?” questions shouted to the heavens that give God free reign to work.
2. Be broken. It’s where God begins to heal. I’ve heard people actually pray, “God, break me!” That’s a gutsy prayer, and ill-advised if you don’t mean business. Brokenness gives God a chance to put together something better than the original. Unfortunately, when folks pray “God, break me,” they’d really prefer that God break them in some glorious, ennobling way. Martyrdom, right? Sometimes God doesn’t go with noble brokenness. He can break us in shattering, messy, horrific ways if it serves His purpose. That’s uncomfortable theology, but it’s true. Bet you don’t hear that much from your local pulpit!
3. Be frustrated. It’s here God leads you to make more authentic decisions. Hey, I’ve prayed these exact words: “God. You gotta be kidding me!” That’s usually in response to something, some occurrence, that makes me want to go out in the street and pound my head on asphalt. It’s being faced with a challenging (or even awful) situation and being blocked in every direction when trying to fix it. It’s praying in earnest and having the sense that God is looking down from His throne and saying, “How’s that praying stuff working out for ya?” And then – glory be! – your frustration leads you to another level of dependence and you make the wise decision. You realize that, even in the midst of God’s silence, He never left you. That only happens when you turn your back on your own resources and admit you are helpless. Just be real.
4. Be sad, because if we’re brave enough, we can hear God’s wisdom through it. I’d prefer to be happy and not sad. Duh. It feels better. At the same time, I know that in order to be complete as a human and as a believer, I have to embrace the whole gamut of emotions. We were made to be “feeling” creatures. Sadness is part of the whole human experience. Your sadness should not be wasted. God may just teach more profound truths when we’re broken-hearted than when we’re happy. We tend to turn to Him more when we’re hurting than when things are going our way. It takes some real courage to accept the fact that, when we’re sad, God has much fuller access to our hearts.

So, whatever you are right now, no more hiding. God says you’re worthy. Always.

The things the Enemy would use to disrupt, derail, and destroy your life are the very things God will use to draw you closer to Himself and use to equip you to help others.

Your trials and tests will become a testimony to God’s faithfulness, healing, and overcoming power. Your life will be a testimony that will bring hope and encouragement to others.

Just be real.

“Return to Wholeness” implies that something was broken and needed restoration.

I get that. That’s why I’ve developed an online course with that name.

Return to Wholeness is an online course to help broken Christians feel better, become whole, experience supernatural peace – and have fun in the process.

Sounds counterintuitive, right? 

Through my service in Christian ministry for 40+ years, I’ve seen so many believers stall out in their faith – they spend their days frustrated, defeated, and even desperate. Broken, in other words.  The fulfilling Christian life that others seem to experience eludes them.I know what I’m talking about – you could count me among that number.

I know how you feel. I’ve felt the same way. What I have found is that there is a path to feeling better (actually, BEING better) and it’s a spiritually and scripturally based journey.

This concept has been gradually built in local churches I’ve served over the years, coming alongside literally hundreds of fellow pilgrims in group settings and one-on-one, and I’m happy to say that it has officially launched.  

What totally caught me off guard is that a national publication picked up on the story. Believe me, Return to Wholeness wasn’t promoted to them.

Here’s the link to the article. It’s a quick read. I think this is pretty cool.

The story in The Baptist Paper does a jam-up job of explaining where I’m coming from. Return to Wholeness is a passion project for me. “Driven” is a strong word, but that’s where I find myself.

Return to Wholeness is an online course, so you can enjoy it (and implement it) right from where you are!

Here’s the thing, though. Take heed. I’m not playing.

I’m enrolling students right now through September 20 (or until we sell out)!

There is limited availability. After September 20, the price will go up.

You’ll receive access to the first unit on September 26, and each subsequent lesson will be delivered each week after that. This way, you can consume the content in your own time.

Here is a document explaining much of what you’ve already heard, but it also contains all you need to get started.

But – one huge component to Return to Wholeness will be access to a very exclusive membership-only Facebook group. You’ll be able to interact with your fellow pilgrims. You can ask questions, share progress, get encouragement when you’re “stuck,” and have access to me personally. You can engage at whatever level you’re comfortable with. You’ll never walk alone. This is fire. 🔥

What distinguishes Return to Wholeness from any other course I’m aware of is that I am persuaded that becoming whole again doesn’t have to be a slog. It doesn’t have to be heavy, oppressive, grueling, or dark. Dark valleys give way to green pastures, and there is a joy in that. What I’ll share will give you joy, and I will make sure you have fun along the way. 

And if you have this God-driven sense that you won’t benefit from this course, would you happen to know of a friend or family member who would? I’d just about assure you that’s the case.

I created Return to Wholeness because I am heartbroken at how many Christians I meet who are living defeated lives of quiet desperation. That scripturally-promised abundant life simply isn’t a reality for them. And, in this fallen and toxic world, so many seem to be abandoning hope.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

It doesn’t matter who you are, what has happened in your past, or the degree of anxiety you have about the future. You can return to the wholeness you once experienced and felt as a new believer. 

If you want to feel better and be better, if you want to be restored after brokenness, and you want to experience supernatural peace without having to deal with past hurt and tragedy, be sure to join us in Return to Wholeness.

I had a friend ask me, “Tony, are you trying to sell something?”

I sure am. Here’s what I’ve realized. Selling is service. I’m providing a tool that can potentially be life-changing, and I say that because it’s God who brings about change. We just have to position ourselves in a place where He’s working, give some hope and encouragement and tools, and let Him do what only He can do.

When you join Return to Wholeness, you get:

• 7 Steps to Wholeness. This is the heart and soul of the course, presented in an easily accessible, upbeat, and encouraging video format.
• 7 Steps to Wholeness Workbook. This is the written companion piece to the video study, including a listening guide, interactive questions, and other goodies – not “schoolish” at all.
• 31 Days to Restoration. This hands-on devotional guide will complement and interface with what you’re learning in the course by helping you develop intimacy with Jesus Christ.
• Personal Journal. If you aren’t journaling (or maybe if you already are), here’s where you start … this downloadable PDF will help you unpack your head and get some mental and emotional breathing room.
• The Me Nobody Knows. This assessment instrument will help you identify the pain points in your life and prepare you for your study ahead – and will also show you the progress you’ve made when all is said and done.
• Direction Finder. Here’s my bulletproof method of how to make wise decisions, presented in a sequential, step-by-step format. You’ll love this.
• The Restoration Group. This might be the most important component of this course – a private, curated Facebook group strictly for students of Return to Wholeness. We’re here for each other – for mutual encouragement, celebration, grief, and plenty of opportunities to interact with me personally. 

Again, the price will most assuredly go up September 20. While enrollment will stay open indefinitely, I have to rein things in somehow.

If you’ve made it this far, here is a document explaining much of what you’ve already heard, but it also contains all you need to get started.

That’s it. Be blessed. Comment below.

Eternity now. Doesn’t that have a nice ring?

Recently I was given the opportunity to review a copy of the new NET Eternity Now New Testament. The legal folks at #biblegatewaypartner tell me that I need to mention that I received this Bible for free as a member of the amazing Bible Gateway Blogger Grid.

So, there’s that. And I’ll give you my honest opinion.

You may have a shelf full of Bibles in various translations. Perhaps your phone is loaded down with Bible aps. Candidly, though, what Thomas Nelson has done is offered a Bible in a format I’ve never seen, and it’s way-cool.

First, the Bible is in the New English Translation. If you aren’t familiar with this translation – and I wasn’t, because I’m primarily an NIV-kinda guy – it’s worth checking out netbible.com/net-bible-preface to see where they’re coming from. Short version is that the translators have tried to do the best possible job of straddling that line between being readable and being accurate. I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive. A word for word translation can come across as stiff and awkward; a thought for thought translation might read better, but might lose just a tiny bit in accuracy. Or not. 

My thought on the translation itself: I think we’re safe with this one. When I do legit Bible study I like to refer to several translations at the same time. Here’s one more for that mix.

The crazy innovative feature of the NET Eternity Now New Testament is how it’s formatted. I can see this being of enormous help to a new believer wanting to “get into” reading their Bible. I’d even say this is a good intro to the Bible for a curious new -believer.

The Bible comes as a boxed set of five separate books. (Huh?) In the neat packaging  I’ve shown above – titled “Eternity Now,” very meta there – each little volume contains a different set of New Testament books. Here’s the breakdown:

• Grand Tour – the amazing story that changed the world. It contains Luke and Acts.
• No Going Back – a fast-paced account from the front row of history. This is Mark and First and Second Peter.
• Death to Life – beyond what happened to what it all means. This covers all of Paul’s letters. 
• The Legacy – a rich story etched with pain and promise. Here’s Matthew, Hebrews, James, and Jude.
• Now but Not Yet – the beginning was shocking, and the ending changes everything.

(Those colorful descriptions are from the cover copy of each book.)

The other novelty – which isn’t a bad thing – is how the individual books are formatted. Each book begins with a prologue, a very accessible overview of what the reader can expect from the book. It’s simply background, not intended to be scholarly, but rather gives some context.

From there, each book is broken down by the traditional chapter numbering. Note – and this might be a deal-breaker for some – there are no numbered verses. Each chapter reads like a novel with no verse breaks.

That’s to say – this isn’t a Bible for Bible study, per se. It’s more useful for devotional reading, I can see it’d be pretty cool for someone’s daily Bible reading to take one of the volumes and simply read through it at their own pace. There are no notes, no cross references, anything like that. It’s just text, biblical content.

I think there’s a place for this translation and the way it’s formatted. Here’s a shoutout to whoever chose the font used, too!  I can see someone tossing one of the little volumes in their purse or backpack. I don’t really want to consider this “leisure reading,” but I get a really accessible vibe from this. I can recommend it – again, not as a study Bible, but just as an easy and fun way to get into scripture. 

You can find it in the Bible Gateway store at https://bg4.me/3PccDVn and its Amazon page https://amazon.com/dp/078529127X/   

Your thoughts?