What does it look like to be whole?

I want to be whole. I’ve been on this kick of moving from brokenness to wholeness. You probably have recognized this.

I’ve figured this out – not because I’m all that brilliant, but just because it’s self-evident. The thought is to be complete in Christ. That’s what it means to be whole. Without Him, there are simply missing pieces.

The implications are huge. It means that you thrive spiritually. It means that you live strong. It means that you are whole and complete.

So what does that look like? Let me share some good stuff from scripture. That’s my authority.

7 thoughts.

1 – It means that you aren’t looking for wholeness in places apart from God.

2 Corinthians 12:9 reads, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

It means that no one but God Himself can return you to wholeness. This is about grace, and the yearning of your heart. There are quick fixes out there, but they don’t last because they’re based in something that has no foundation.

Psalm 73:26 reads, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

2 – You can’t realistically expect other people to meet the needs only Jesus Christ can.

John 15:11 reads, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

Relying on God is the only way you can be healed and fulfilled. This is a companion thought to #1. This one, though, has more to do with what you think people can do to make you whole.

I had a student tell me once, when referring to her boyfriend, “He completes me.” I get that; we need others, and we especially need others in relationships that help us with our shortcomings. Still, we’re still talking about completeness in the flesh here. Aim for eternal completion. Jesus does that.

Psalms 107:20 reads, “He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.”

3 – You realize your worth is not defined by your appearance, job performance, human relationships, or anything apart from your relationship with God as His child.

2 Corinthians 5:7 reads, “We live by faith, not by sight.”

This is tricky. We don’t think we’re whole because we aren’t measuring up to some standard out there. Truth is, though, that the relationship with God I’ve been speaking of is the only flawless source of your sense of worth. It’s not how you “look,” or how you think you’re perceived. How does God see you? He is what makes you whole, not some self- or society-imposed standard.

4 – Don’t say “It’s impossible.” God gives freedom. You are forgiven and loved no matter what. You show God gratitude by living in His light and making wise choices.

1 Peter 5:7 reads, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

You aren’t stuck. You are not broken forever. You can be whole. This casting anxiety thing? It’s a promise, because He does indeed care for you.

5 – You don’t live your life to please other people. Instead, you strive to please God by discovering your purpose in Him and living that to the max.

Psalm 94:19 reads, “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”

Can I just ‘fess up here and tell you that I want people to like me? I mean, the alternative is for people to dislike me, and that’s not especially appealing. You can’t please everyone, right? So, the obvious tactic is to please God. He’s got you here for a reason. He isn’t hiding that from you. Work that reason. Be joyful.

6 – Stop yourself immediately when an unhealthy thought enters your mind, and challenge it with “Does this thought line up with the word of God?”

Psalm 42:5 reads, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God.”

What takes up headspace in your life? Here’s an absolute, incontrovertible truth: you are what you think about. Man, I could riff on that all day. I don’t need to, because you know exactly what I’m saying. It’s true.

7 – The battlefield is your mind, first and foremost.

2 Corinthians 10:5 reads, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Again, I’m piggybacking on a previous thought. But your mind, y’all! That’s where it goes down.

Here’s the cool thing. You have this superpower that distinguishes you and separates you from all the rest of creation:

You can choose. You can make choices. You can even make good choices.

That’s a big deal. By God’s grace and empowered by the indwelling Holy Spirit, you can choose the quality of your life. You can’t control the outcome of things – God does that – but in aligning yourself with Him and acting in obedience, things work out. Every time. Maybe not in the way you wanted or planned, but in a way that honors God and leads to your ultimate success.

I think that’s amazing. That’s being made whole.

Thoughts that lead to brokenness are the devil’s way of blocking what God wants you to know about who you are in Christ. You have to take those thoughts about yourself and lock them up. Make your mind listen to what God has to say about you. If you do, you will find wholeness.

Comments welcome. Talk soon!

I was sitting at my desk the other day, sipping some sweet tea (really), and listening to a recording of Earl Nightingale. If you aren’t familiar with Mr. Nightingale, his Wikipedia bio states that he was an American radio speaker and author, dealing mostly with the subjects of human character development, motivation, and meaningful existence.  I’ve found him everlastingly listenable. Among the gazillion or so books he wrote, his best known was The Strangest Secret. In it, he amplifies a single thought that captivates me: “You become what you think about.” Now, don’t go thinking I’ve turned all philosophical on you; I’m just trying to chew on something that’s a bit more profound than my usual thought patterns. 

Ever find yourself stuck in a loop of negative thoughts? Oh boy, I have. You start thinking you’re not good enough, not smart enough, or whatever “enough” you want to add to the list, and soon enough, you begin to feel that way. It’s like you’ve become a magnet attracting all the things you DON’T want.

There is some scripture that resonates with this idea, and Mr. Nightingale references this several times. Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Simple, right? What’s in our minds can shape who we are.

Imagine your thoughts are seeds. You plant them, water them, and eventually, they’ll grow into something. Now, if you plant tomatoes, don’t expect to harvest watermelons. Same goes for our thoughts. Plant positive seeds, and you’ll see a garden full of hope, joy, and love. Plant negative seeds, and, well, you’ll get the prickly weeds.

But it’s not just about thinking happy thoughts and hoping for the best. It’s about aligning those thoughts with actions. James 2:17 tells us, “Faith without works is dead.” It’s like wanting a bountiful harvest without getting your hands dirty. You’ve got to roll up your sleeves and work that garden.

So, let’s say you want to be more loving, more generous, or more patient. Start by thinking it, believing it, and then doing it. Be intentional about your thoughts, and let them guide your steps. Trust in the Lord, lean on His wisdom, and watch how your life blossoms.

I suppose this idea of “you become what you think about” is more than a nifty slogan on a bumper sticker. It’s a truth we can apply to our everyday lives, one that’s rooted in the Word and can help us grow into the person we’re meant to be.

So we’ve chewed on the idea that our thoughts shape us, and I bet some of you are thinking, “Well, that sounds great, but how do I actually do that?” Let’s think about some action points – some down-to-earth ways to turn your thinking around and grow a garden of positivity:

• Plant the Right Seeds: If you want to think positively, you’ve got to start by planting the right thoughts. Dive into scripture, find verses that resonate with you, and keep them close. Write them down, stick them on your fridge, whatever it takes. These are your positive seeds.
• Water with Prayer: Ever found yourself stuck in a storm of negative thoughts? It’s like a garden overrun with weeds. Pray about it! Talk to God, share what’s on your mind, and ask for guidance. Prayer’s like water for the soul, nourishing those positive thoughts.
• Tend Your Garden with Friends: Surround yourself with folks who’ll encourage you and help you grow. You wouldn’t leave your garden all alone, would you? Fellowship with friends and family who uplift you is like having a gardening buddy.
• Use the Right Tools: Just like in gardening, you need the right tools. Listen to uplifting music, read inspiring books, attend church gatherings, and be part of a community that helps you think positively.
• Prune the Weeds: Sometimes, negative thoughts creep in like stubborn weeds. Recognize them and pluck them out. Replace them with the promises of God. It’s a process, but it’s worth it.
• Harvest with Gratitude: When you see positive changes in your life, celebrate them! Thank the Lord for His guidance, and don’t forget to be grateful for the little things too. A thankful heart is a joyful heart.

This isn’t about pretending that life’s all sunshine and roses. It’s about choosing to focus on the good, leaning on our faith, and letting God guide our thoughts. And hey, if you stumble and find a weed or two, don’t fret. Just get back to tending that garden, knowing that the Master Gardener’s got your back.

Happy gardening, and may your thoughts be as bountiful and beautiful as a springtime bloom!

There’s an old saying that goes, “To err is human, to forgive, divine.” But we all know the real truth is, “To err is human, to pretend it never happened, even more human.” Unfortunately, Google hasn’t quite figured out how to erase our blunders from the memory of the universe. So, when you’ve really done something monumentally dumb, how do you recover? Don’t worry, even if you’ve successfully recreated the parting of the Red Sea in your kitchen or proven gravity’s existence with your new phone and a concrete floor, there’s hope.

Firstly, let’s address the elephant in the room. You’ve messed up. Congrats! You’ve officially joined the human race. Every Christian worth his or her salt knows that we’re not perfect beings. Remember Adam and Eve? They had one job, one rule. Yet, they still managed to drop the ball… or should I say, eat the forbidden fruit? But remember, it’s not about how we fall, but how we get up that matters.

Next, after messing up, we tend to panic. This typically involves a complex dance routine where we flail around wildly, knocking over anything within a five-foot radius, including dignity. Take a deep breath. Calm down. Remember, Jesus was known to calm storms, and I’m pretty sure he can handle your little weather system of chaos. Pause, pray, and remember to breathe. You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far. This one won’t be the exception.

Then comes confession time. Don’t worry, this isn’t about baring your soul to everyone on Facebook, but about taking responsibility. Remember when King David took a nose-dive off the moral high dive and tried to hide it? Yeah, that didn’t go so well. So, own up to your mistake, apologize if necessary, and learn from it. After all, God loves a humble heart, and owning your mistake is a step towards humility.

Now that you’ve owned up to your blooper, it’s time to mop up the mess, even if that means literally getting a mop. Taking action not only helps rectify the situation but also demonstrates your commitment to righting the wrong. Remember, faith without works is dead. So, don your superhero cape (or apron) and dive into the action.

Afterwards, remember that everyone has messed up, and most likely in more spectacular ways than you. Peter, the rock upon which Christ built his Church, had quite the impressive goof-up portfolio. He denied knowing Christ not once, not twice, but three times! Yet, he bounced back and became one of the greatest apostles. The point is, we all make mistakes, so cut yourself some slack.

Finally, find the humor in your situation. Laughter is the best medicine, and a bit of self-deprecating humor can defuse even the most disastrous blunders. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” So, why not apply that medicine to your self-inflicted wounds?

As you navigate through the minefield of your monumental mess-ups, remember that you’re not alone. We serve a God of second chances (and third, and fourth…). He specializes in turning messes into messages and tests into testimonies. He took Peter’s denials and turned them into devotion, Paul’s persecution into proclamation, and He can take your blunders and turn them into blessings.

Messing up might feel like the end of the world, but it’s not. It’s simply an opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better version of ourselves. After all, some of our best stories come from our worst mistakes. Remember, we are all clay in the hands of the Master Potter. Sometimes, He has to remold us a few times before we come out just right. So, the next time you do something dumb, take a deep breath, pray, and prepare for your divine redo. It might just be the start of an amazing transformation.

The Bible holds a bounty of wisdom, teachings, and timeless stories, providing a solid foundation for building strong values and attitudes. One such virtue you’ll find is that of having a positive mindset. I’m not talking about some sort of motivational self-help thing … you know, “think positive thoughts.” There’s nothing wrong with that. But because of our daily trials, tribulations, and occasional uncertainties, positivity becomes a beacon, lighting our path towards hope, resilience, and personal growth.

Being positive doesn’t necessarily imply a constant state of happiness or ignoring the reality of our trials, but it does involve a willingness to view our life events from a hopeful perspective. As Romans 8:28 (NIV) assures,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Embracing this scriptural promise empowers us to see the potential good that can emerge from any situation.

Sounds good, right? Still, you might wonder, “How can I develop such a mindset?” That’s what I’m tackling today. These are good, practical teachings. I have five. That sounded about right.

1. Practice Gratitude

The importance of gratitude is highlighted throughout the Bible. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) tells us to

“give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

By consciously appreciating the blessings we have, we shift our focus from what we lack to what we possess. Get it? This practice enables us to anchor our hearts in positivity, acknowledging that even in trying times, there are always reasons to be grateful.

A practical strategy is to maintain a gratitude journal. From personal experience, I can tell you that this changes everything. Each day, write down at least three things you are thankful for, no matter how small they may seem. This will train your mind to seek out the good in every situation, enhancing your positive perspective.

2. Trust in God’s Plan

Trusting in God’s divine plan can often be a challenge, especially when we are faced with adversity. However, remembering Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)…

“’For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

…provides a reminder that every challenge we face is a part of God’s master plan.

Praying for patience and trusting in God’s timing can help strengthen this mindset. When faced with hardship, take a moment to pray, surrendering your concerns and seeking peace in the understanding that God is in control.

3. Seek the Company of Positive Individuals

The Bible reminds us in Proverbs 27:17 (NIV),

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

This is one you shouldn’t overlook. Even now there is one person in my circle who absolutely sucks the life out of me. Surrounding yourself with positive people can influence your thoughts, inspiring optimism and hope. Engage in fellowship with those who uplift your spirit, reminding you of God’s love and promises.

4. Positive Affirmations from the Bible

There is significant power in the spoken word, and this is apparent throughout biblical teachings. Using positive affirmations derived from scripture can shape your mindset, reinforcing your faith and fostering a hopeful outlook. For instance, phrases such as…

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NIV)

…can serve as daily reminders of your capabilities and God’s unwavering support. I used to blow off positive self-talk as some kind of feel-good voodoo. Then I realized that I’d been saying things to myself that, if anyone else were doing that, I’d punch them. Speak kindly to you.

5. Regularly Reflect on Scripture

Dedicate time each day to reading and reflecting upon the Bible. Scriptures provide valuable insights and encouragement, promoting a positive mindset. Consider passages like Romans 15:13 (NIV),

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

These words can serve as anchors of hope, boosting your positivity. You’ve heard from many people how important it is to set aside some one-on-one Jesus time. It’s a big deal; again, from personal experience, this is a game-changer.

Cultivating a positive mindset, grounded in biblical teachings, is a journey rather than a destination. It’s about nurturing habits of gratitude, trust in God’s plan, seeking positive company, affirming ourselves through scripture, and regularly reflecting upon the word of God. This path offers us the ability to view life with hope, resilience, and positivity, ultimately helping us to find joy and fulfillment in all circumstances. In doing so, we learn to recognize that our trials are not merely obstacles, but opportunities for growth, faith deepening, and testament to our resilience in Christ.

Remember,

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-17, NIV).

So. Embrace the transformative power of positive thinking, always grounded in God’s loving guidance.

Talk later!

Last week I experienced what I thought was a bone-crushing disappointment. Man alive, it hurt. Part of it was my fault, I suppose. Part of it was just a “thing.”

I was disappointed in how I responded to disappointment. That’s a pretty vicious circle, right?

Disappointment is an inevitable part of life. Whether it’s a missed promotion, a failed relationship, or an unexpected event, we all experience letdowns from time to time. But disappointment doesn’t have to define us or keep us stuck.

Since I’m so dang prone to internalize my feelings – make things about me – I know I need to learn to do better, to roll with it.

After overthinking disappointment, and looking to ways to move on, I’ve come up with some points. I culled these from a lot of different sources and made them my own. I’d encourage you to do the same. 

1 – Acknowledge and validate your feelings.

When disappointment hits, give yourself permission to feel the emotions that come with it. Acknowledge the hurt, frustration, or sadness that you’re experiencing. Validate your feelings by recognizing that it’s normal to feel disappointed and it doesn’t mean you are weak or a failure. 

Remember, allowing yourself to feel is the first step towards healing. Don’t wall yourself away from how you feel. You aren’t a bot. You aren’t A.I. (Are you? It’s getting hard to tell.)

2 – Reframe your perspective.

Take a step back and try to view the situation from a different angle. Ask yourself if there’s a lesson to be learned, an opportunity for growth, or a silver lining. By reframing the disappointment, you can shift your focus from what didn’t work out to what you can gain from the experience.

Perspective, yes? Treat yourself to that 20,000 foot view. Say this: “On the other hand …”

3 – Create a plan for moving forward.

I’m all about making plans. It keeps me from being paralyzed. It gives me something to do.

Instead of dwelling on the disappointment, turn your attention to actionable steps you can take to move forward. Whether it’s setting new goals, seeking professional help, or connecting with your support system, creating a plan can help you regain a sense of control and purpose.

There are maybe a gazillion or so planning tools out there. I am struck by how few folks actually make plans, come up with goals, and such. Trust me – it makes a difference. If you don’t aim at something, you’ll hit it every time.

4 – Practice self-compassion.

Be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Remind yourself that everyone experiences disappointment, and it’s okay to not have everything figured out. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation.

In other words – don’t beat yourself up. It won’t help.

5 – Surround yourself with positive influences.

Connect with friends, family, or colleagues who uplift and support you. Share your feelings and experiences with them, and allow them to help you navigate through your disappointment. Being around positive people can help you regain a sense of hope and optimism.

I’m pretty sure you are around folks who suck the life out of you. You may not be able to do anything about them. Just seek out those who are light-bringers. 

6 – Develop resilience.

Also known as “suck it up, buttercup.”

Disappointment can be an opportunity to build resilience. Learn from your setbacks and use them as stepping stones to grow stronger and more adaptable. By developing resilience, you’ll be better equipped to handle future challenges and disappointments.

It’s tempting to cave. Don’t yield. Just don’t. 

7 – Focus on your strengths and accomplishments.

Even if we’ve never met, this is true of you: You have done good things. You have blessed others. You have had a setback. So?

When disappointment strikes, it’s easy to lose sight of your strengths and achievements. Take some time to reflect on your past successes and the qualities that make you unique. Focusing on your strengths can help rebuild your confidence and motivate you to keep moving forward.

Dealing with disappointment is a natural part of life. I wish it weren’t so, but it’s universal. By acknowledging your feelings, reframing your perspective, creating a plan, practicing self-compassion, surrounding yourself with positive influences, developing resilience, and focusing on your strengths, you can successfully navigate through disappointment and emerge stronger and more resilient than before. Remember, it’s not the disappointments that define us, but how we choose to handle them that truly matters.

Talk later!

Procrastination. I’m so good at it I could teach it on the graduate level.

I’ve tended to blow procrastination off as just a “thing,” a tendency that isn’t exactly laziness but just a desire to put things off. Never put off anything until tomorrow unless you can put it off till next week, right?

Yet, in a couple of life areas and ambitions these days, procrastination is hurting me. For real. So, I thought I’d do some digging around, and lo and behold, I’ve found that there are some Christian principles that can help you and me deal with this sneaky scourge. 

If you’re a procrastinator, see if this helps. 

Procrastination is a common struggle that affects individuals from all walks of life. As Christians, we are not immune to this challenge. However, we have the advantage of Christian teachings and principles to guide us in overcoming procrastination.So, then, we will explore the reasons behind procrastination, and how we can use our faith and Christian values to overcome it.

To get us on the same page, here’s my definition of procrastination:

Procrastination occurs when we put off tasks or delay taking action, often in favor of less important or more enjoyable activities. This behavior can be rooted in fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, or a lack of motivation. Whatever the cause, procrastination can hinder our growth, both personally and spiritually.

I’ve succumbed to all four of those root causes at some point or another. Yeah, I’m pathetic.

What to do about procrastination? Here are my eight thoughts:

1 – Recognize the Spiritual Implications of Procrastination

Procrastination can often stem from fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, or a lack of motivation. I mentioned those earlier. It is essential to recognize that these feelings can be detrimental to our spiritual growth. Ephesians 5:15-16 reminds us to “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil.” By addressing the spiritual aspects of procrastination, we can begin to understand the importance of using our time wisely and for God’s glory. Funny to think about how procrastination might be hindering what God wants to do in and through you.

2 – Trust in God’s Strength

One reason for procrastination may be the fear of failure or the belief that we are not capable of completing the task at hand. I never thought of a fear of failure being a contributing factor, but it sure can be.  As Christians, we can overcome this fear by putting our trust in God and relying on His strength to help us accomplish our goals. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (What a verse … it can address most anything!) By leaning on God’s strength, we can overcome our self-doubt and push forward with confidence. 

3 – Pray For Guidance and Strength

Is procrastination, at its heart, a spiritual matter? I think it is.

As we strive to overcome procrastination, prayer is a vital tool to help us focus on God’s will and seek His guidance in our lives. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to “not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” By consistently turning to God in prayer, we can find the strength and wisdom needed to tackle our tasks and live purpose-driven lives.

4 – Seek God’s Wisdom

In this season, I’m all into this wisdom thing. I’m not talking about just being smart, or even making good decisions. I’m talking about being wise and making wise decisions.

Procrastination can sometimes stem from a lack of direction or understanding of our purpose. To combat this, we should turn to God for wisdom and guidance. Proverbs 3:5-6 – a favorite for many of us – encourages us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” By seeking God’s guidance, we can gain clarity and direction in our lives, reducing the temptation to procrastinate.

5 – Develop a Sense of Purpose

How many times do we have to hear “you were put here for a reason” before it actually sinks in and becomes a reality?

Understanding our purpose as Christians can provide us with the motivation to prioritize our time and energy effectively. Reflect on the unique gifts and talents that God has given you, and consider how you can use them to serve others and glorify God. Colossians 3:23-24 reminds us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.”

6 – Set Realistic Goals and Break Tasks into Manageable Steps

Procrastination can just melt away when I put goals in writing, and tease them out into steps I can measure.

There are beaucoup tools that help me move the needle. Zig Ziglar has been a tremendous help. And the Self Journal by Best Self Co. is my go-to. Once I settled in and actually used these resources, things really changed for me. 

To combat procrastination, it is crucial to set realistic goals and develop a plan to achieve them. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps to reduce feelings of overwhelm and make progress more achievable. Proverbs 21:5 states, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” By planning and setting achievable goals, we can work diligently and use our time wisely.

7 – Practice Self-Discipline

Procrastination and the “D” word. I can’t get around it. Discipline has to be part of the plan. Sorry. 

Self-discipline is a virtue that Christians are encouraged to develop, as it helps us remain focused on our spiritual growth and resist worldly temptations. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 highlights the importance of self-discipline, likening the Christian life to a race that requires dedication and perseverance. To overcome procrastination, we must develop self-discipline by setting realistic goals, creating a schedule, and holding ourselves accountable.

Seeking accountability from fellow believers, such as friends or family members, can encourage us to stay on track and fulfill our responsibilities. You’ll just have to figure out what that looks like for you.

8 – Embrace the Power of Grace

Finally, it is important to remember that we will not always be perfect in our efforts to overcome procrastination. In these moments, we must rely on God’s grace and forgiveness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 reassures us, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I beat myself up so often that I should cover myself in bubble wrap. Grace, y’all. If you’re weak, in procrastination or in other areas, it’s okay. God wants to do the heavy lifting, and if you’ll let Him, you’ll have one powerful testimony.

Overcoming procrastination is an ongoing process that requires intentionality, self-reflection, and reliance on God’s guidance. You won’t ever be completely free of this burden, but you can manage it.

Hope this encourages you. Be well!

Negative self-talk? You prone to that? Let’s work on it.

As Christians, we believe that we are created in the image of God and that God loves us unconditionally. However, sometimes we forget this truth and allow negative self-talk to take over our minds. This is a pretty nasty deal. Negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive, holding us back from pursuing our dreams, preventing us from taking risks, and robbing us of our joy and peace.

But here’s the good news: we don’t have to live with negative self-talk. By recognizing when negative thoughts are taking over our minds, replacing them with positive ones, and trusting in God’s promises, we can get rid of negative self-talk and live the joyful, peaceful, and fulfilling lives that God intended for us.

Recognizing Negative Self-Talk

The first step in getting rid of negative self-talk is recognizing when it’s taking over our minds. Negative self-talk can take many forms, such as telling ourselves we’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough. It can also take the form of a nagging feeling that we’ll never measure up to our own or other people’s expectations. Whatever form it takes, negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive.

One way to recognize negative self-talk is to pay attention to the thoughts we have throughout the day. When we notice a negative thought, we can pause and ask ourselves if it’s true. Often, we’ll find that the negative thought is based on a lie, rather than on reality. You’ll have to come up with your own list of triggers, but it’s easy to lie to yourself and believe what you’re saying.

Keeping It Positive

Once we recognize negative self-talk, we can take steps to replace it with positive thoughts that align with God’s truth. Notice I’m talking about God’s truth and not “truth” from another source. I’m an absolute truth kind of guy … truth, by its nature, can’t contradict itself. I’m talking about truth with no mixture of error, and that’s from God alone. We can do this by finding Bible verses or positive affirmations that counteract the negative thought. Here are a few examples:

If we’re struggling with the belief that we’re unlovable, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Romans 8:38-39, which says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

If we’re feeling like we’re not good enough, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Philippians 4:13, which says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

And if we’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Matthew 6:34, which says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Practicing Positive Self-Talk

Replacing negative self-talk with positive thoughts is just the first step. The next step is to practice positive self-talk consistently. This means intentionally choosing to speak and think positively about ourselves, even when it’s hard. We can do this by creating a list of positive affirmations and Bible verses that we can turn to whenever negative self-talk creeps in. Here are a few examples – some of God’s greatest hits, if you will:

• I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
• I am a child of God (John 1:12).
• I am more than a conqueror through Christ (Romans 8:37).
• I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
• I am loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).

Trusting in God’s Promises

Finally, we can trust in God’s promises as we work to get rid of negative self-talk. We can pray for strength, wisdom, and guidance, knowing that God is with us.

Chances are that I haven’t shared a single thing that you didn’t know. The goal, I’d say, is to close that gap between what you believe and actually do. You can’t wait until you feel like taking action to end what’s hurting you. Act first. Your feelings will catch up.

I hope these helped. You are harder on yourself than anyone else is. Embrace what God has done and what He thinks about you. His opinion matters. Yours doesn’t.

It seems that some “life rules” for this new year might be in order.

There’s nothing magical about these*, but they seem pretty appropriate. Fact is, they’re good life rules for any year.

Here ya go. Seven life rules, with some ruminations from me.

1 – Make peace with your past.

We all have those incidents from our past that tend to linger in our life’s rear-view mirror. That’s understandable. But what you want to be wary of is letting those past things, whatever they are, not disturb your present.

We don’t get do-overs. What’s done is done. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along. It’s called the past for a reason. Glean what you can, but don’t camp there. Don’t let them confound your present.

2 – What other people think of you is none of your business.

Here’s a tough life rule for you, perhaps. There is absolutely zero you can do about what people think. Honestly, what difference does it make? You be you. Be authentic. To the extent you can internalize this one, the more freedom you have. Chances are you can’t change someone’s mind about you, so don’t bother trying. Leave it alone. Again, just be real. Don’t let others put snakes in your head.

3 – Time heals almost everything.

This particular life rule has a little disclaimer – “almost.” Time is a healer, but it’s not the end-all. Hurts can leave scars even after healing takes place. I get that. You don’t want to live with perpetual regret or pain, obviously.

In essence, the counsel of this life rule is “give it time.” Some things just don’t lend themselves to quick fixes. Time is relative – years? Decades? A week? Who knows. It depends. (Is this vague enough for you?)

I’ll stand by this one. Whatever is out of whack with you, give it time.

4 – No one is is charge of your happiness.

Except you.

Think someone or something outside of yourself is supposed to make you happy? Nope. Life’s not like that, and the life rule is that you are responsible. There’s a prevalent entitlement mindset in our society these days we need to shuck.

This is not the same as God-given joy. He does give joy. What I’m talking about is the notion that the world exists to give you pleasure. Alert: the world doesn’t owe you anything, at least not happiness. There is the idea of “the pursuit of happiness,” and that’s actually pretty legit. There is nothing wrong with finding some fun out there and enjoying it.

Pursuit is the key word in this famous historical phrase, because it implies that you go looking for it. It doesn’t automatically come to you.

I’d hasten to say this isn’t a license for hedonism. You are in charge of your appropriate happiness. I’ll let it go at that.

5 – Don’t compare your life to others.

That, and don’t judge them either. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

This particular life rule has a couple of components that are complementary. I suppose we’ve all done this – looked at someone with envy because they seem to be getting all the breaks. They’re sharper than you, better looking, healthier, all that. Even when you go beyond surface appearances, they still seem to have it all together.

I hate to feel like that. Because they are unique, you and I are unique, and because of that there doesn’t even need to be any comparison. You be you, in other words, and I’ll be me, and I will believe the ancient script that states that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.

And that judging thing? Have mercy. I’ll talk to someone, or read something they’ve posted on social media, and I wonder: Did your mama drop you on your head as an infant?

Because … what I’m hearing is so patently absurd and devoid of reason or critical thinking that I want to say, “Maybe your ignorance doesn’t need to be on such blatant display.”

I’ll hold my comments about the worst of the conspiracy theories.

The thing is that folks have a reason to believe what they believe. Who am I to judge? I don’t know their stories. Theirs are no less valid than mine. What I see is just a screen capture of one tiny part of their life journey. How could I devalue that?

6 – Stop thinking so much.

There is a divine element to this life rule. It is okay to not have all the answers. You wouldn’t handle omnipotence very well. None of us would. And “why?” is a perfectly acceptable question, as long as you don’t think you’re owed a satisfactory answer.

The good news is that when you need an answer, God may very well reveal it to you when you least expect it. Or not; He can certainly keep His own counsel, and He does. Frequently.

It may sound simplistic to say “just go with it,” but you can turn yourself into a jabbering, drooling, maniacal mess when you try to figure everything out. Some things you won’t ever understand. Some things you will someday.

In the flesh, I say to myself, “quit spending so much time in your own head.” In reality, though, my default thought is “Tony, you are so messed up.” I suppose I’ll be working on #6 all my life. Sheesh. It’s still a good life rule, though.

7 – Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.

Oh, y’all. Please embrace this last life rule.

I’ve advocated here in my blog, and other places, to take periodic news fasts. There is a case to be made for being informed, but I’d really encourage you not to dwell on the things you can’t do anything about.

Many people I know and love are so anxious, even depressed, because of the state of the world. Certainly we need to be diligent in prayer for the needs all around us.

Inherent in that, though, has to come a heartfelt acknowledgement that God’s got this. The problems are His to deal with. And God has no problems, right? He is not trying to figure things out. So, if He’s doing all that heavy lifting, He certainly doesn’t need your help. He owns it all. Not you.

That, beloved, should make you smile. You better listen to your Uncle Tony – you don’t own the world’s grief. You can’t fix everything. Fact is, there’s not a whole lot you can fix, except things like a burned-out light bulb. You can’t fix other people. For the most part, you can’t fix yourself.

Again, smile. Here’s why:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

There’s your life rules. Be well. Talk later!

*These seven aren’t necessarily original with me. I’ll have to credit our old friend “author unknown.” I’ve just fleshed them out a little.

This “brokenness to wholeness” paradigm is a pony I’m riding hard these days.

Why? Because I’m seeing broken Christians everywhere I turn, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

So in these days I want to contribute to the Kingdom by addressing this, and even providing some tools to move hurting believers in the right direction.

You might self-identify as experiencing brokenness, and want to move toward wholeness. What does it look like, then, to be whole? Here are 10 markers.

1. It means that you aren’t looking for wholeness in places apart from God.

There are plenty of things people look toward for fulfillment – money, relationships, power, all the usual suspects. These can bring temporal peace, but nothing that will last.

2 Corinthians 12:9 reads, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

2.  It means that no one but God Himself can return you to wholeness.

Understand that in moving from brokenness to wholeness God alone gives strength and stamina. He gives it directly to your heart, and knowing that He is our portion is to know that He completes our heart.

Psalm 73:26 reads, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

3. You can’t realistically expect other people to meet the needs only Jesus Christ can.

I’m all about the support and encouragement other people can offer. Iron sharpens iron, right? But at the foundation, only Jesus Himself can fully satisfy. He completes our joy.

John 15:11 reads, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

4. Relying on God is the only way you can be healed and fulfilled.

It’s tempting to look for other sources to help you move from brokenness to wholeness. If you truly want healing and fulfillment, anything apart from God is just a Band-Aid.

Psalms 107:20 reads, “He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.”

5. You realize your worth is not defined by your appearance, job performance, human relationships, or anything apart from your relationship with God as His child.

Your identity comes from the relationship you have with Jesus Christ. He alone has the authority to determine your worth. If we could all learn to see ourselves as God sees us  – perfected in Him – our lives would be so much more complete and fulfilled.

2 Corinthians 5:7 reads, “We live by faith, not by sight.”

6. Don’t say “It’s impossible.” God gives freedom. You are forgiven and loved no matter what. You show God gratitude by living in His light and making wise choices. 

How about embracing the freedom that comes from Christ alone? In Him, you and I are liberated from the bondage of impossibility. God isn’t limited, and that includes unlimited grace in your life. That brings wholeness.

1 Peter 5:7 reads, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

7. You don’t live your life to please other people. Instead, you strive to please God by discovering your purpose in Him and living that to the max.

No matter what others think, you follow God and not the expectations of others. Easy, right? If you tend to be a people-pleaser, you’ll choke on this one. The call, though, is to follow God even when it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. They aren’t responsible for your worth on earth or destination in eternity.

Psalm 94:19 reads, “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”

8. Stop yourself immediately when an unhealthy thought enters your mind, and challenge it with “Does this thought line up with the word of God?”

Another tough one. How does this even work? If you’re prone to overthink, this one might seem well nigh impossible. The trick, it seems, is to talk to yourself using God’s word. That crowds out unhealthy thinking and encourages wholeness. Try it.

Psalm 42:5 reads, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God.”

9. The battlefield is your mind, first and foremost. 

This piggybacks on the preceding point. There is a battle for your mind going on, 24/7/365. That’s Satan’s portal into your life, right?

Read the scripture below. What argument are you having in your head about yourself? Demolish it. A “pretension” is what we claim about ourselves. Demolish it.

2 Corinthians 10:5 reads, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

10. Thoughts that lead to brokenness are the devil’s way of blocking what God wants you to know about who you are in Christ. You have to take those thoughts about yourself and lock them up. Make your mind listen to what God has to say about you. If you do, you will find wholeness.

I hope this was helpful. We’re all pilgrims, at different waypoints along the journey, but following God is so worth it.

Talk later.

Let’s talk about eight things in your control. Last week I shared seven things that were out of your control, so this time around we’ll balance that out.

Last week was a reality check for most of us. Today, though, take heart. There are things in your control. You just have to act.

1. Your thoughts and actions.

Yep, your thoughts and actions are in your control.

Working backwards, let’s think about actions.

I am obese. Fat. I’ve worked so dang hard over the years to deal with this health issue, and have had some success, but it’s a back and forth proposition. Right now I’m trending in a good direction, but the problem is … I like food. Everything about it.

One thing I’ve noticed though – I’ve never accidentally eaten anything. It’s always a choice.

I don’t know what you may have in your life that is a similar issue. Is eating under my control? You bet it is, if I want it to be. Is your thing, whatever it is, in your control? Indeed it is.

And thoughts? How do we deal with those? Are they under your control?

This is a little trickier, because you can’t not think about something (grammar cops, I know that’s not correct. Lock me up.) It’s like saying, “For the next 30 seconds, don’t think about tomatoes.” Ain’t gonna happen.

When it comes to controlling your thoughts, the only thing I’ve found that helps me is to (a) put some distance between myself and whatever it is that is causing toxic thoughts, and (b) crowding out those thoughts with positive thoughts. My trick is to simply read scripture, or call up any scripture I have memorized, and focus on that. That’s my strategy; you’ll just have to come up with your own.

Your thoughts and actions are in your control.

2. How I speak to myself.

This one is actually pretty funny. I’ll just bet that you say things to yourself that, if someone else were saying them, you’d punch them in the throat.

“You idiot. You big dummy. Why did you do such a stupid thing? You can’t do this. You don’t have what it takes to succeed. You’re gonna be just the way you are forever.”

See what I mean? I’ve said those things.

This self-talk is in your control. Only say kind things, affirming things, about yourself. Don’t self-sabotage.

3. How you spend your free time.

It’s called free time for a reason. By definition, it’s free because you can do whatever you want to with it.

You may have work time. That’s where you get paid to spend your time on a job. It’s called work. If it weren’t work, it’d be called recess.

Relational time? That’s time spent with others. Family, friends – this is a good investment. But it’s not free time. You are constrained by the actions you’re taking.

That free time means that you have time to do what you please. There may be constraints. What you do with your free time may be too expensive, unhealthy, or hurtful to someone else. That’s not wise, but it’s still your time. How you spend it is very much in your control.

4. Your boundaries.

I’m not talking about those boundaries others put on you. The speed limit as you drive would be a boundary chosen for you. You don’t have to recognize or obey it, but it’s still out there.

The boundaries I mean are those you get to choose. This is healthy.

There are the boundaries you set for yourself. For instance, you may have a boundary that says, “I am not going to spend more than x amount of time on social media.” To the extent you recognize and obey that boundary, you’ll feel pretty good about yourself.

Conversely, you can set boundaries for other people. It’s protecting yourself from unhealthy, draining people. Or saying, “Thanks, but I don’t need to hear anymore about that.”

Maybe even walking away. I’ve had to do that. Some people just wound your soul, y’know?

So, yeah, your boundaries are in your control. Take care of them.

5. What I give my energy to.

This one is pretty simple. You get to decide what you invest your energy in.

Obviously, I’m not talking about working for the other guy. If you have a job, you work at it. If you don’t, you may not have it that much longer.

I’m more talking about the energy you invest in a calling, or passion, or even how you use time. Abraham Lincoln said, “Whatever you are, be a good one.” That’s fits here. Put all that time, emotion, and energy into something that’s meaningful to you. You can challenge yourself physically – that takes physical energy. You can throw yourself into a hobby, something that takes up time and headspace and makes you happy. Or volunteer work. Serving your church. These can be really good places to invest your energy. These things are in your control.

The cautionary part of this is that you probably don’t want to invest energy in something that’ll hurt you or hurt others. That’s in your control, too.

6. The goals I set.

I’m pretty obsessive about setting personal goals. It may be that this isn’t such a big deal to you.

Still, you might want to have something meaningful to aim for. I could write on and on about the importance of goal setting, of knowing where you want to go and how to get there.

Simply stated, though, the goals you set are in your control. They are yours. It’s not goals someone else sets for you (“I need you to produce 12 widgets a day.”)

These are the goals that give your days meaning, that help you reach beyond yourself. You choose these. They are in your control.

Maybe I’ll do a whole blog about goal setting. That could be a goal I have!

7. How I handle my challenges.

You get to decide this, too! Isn’t that something. This is in your control.

You will face challenges. Lots of them. And how you respond will in large part determine the quality of your life.

Some people simply fold. Something hard comes along and they throw up their hands. “There’s nothing I can do,” they say. Or, with a weary sigh, their attitude is “Oh, well,” and they just float along like a dead fish in a stream.

Those are choices you can make. It is in your control.

Or – you can choose to handle your challenges proactively. You can look at the challenge, think of ways to deal with it, and act, act, act. Right now.

Of course there are things you can’t do anything about. Just try to take action to stop a tornado. You gonna lose.

But, when challenged, even if you can’t influence the challenge/issue/occurrence itself, you can indeed decide how to handle your response to it.

That is a superpower. Use it.

8. Your relationship to God.

This is the big one. Your relationship to the Almighty is SO up to you. It is in your control. Even when God is silent, or seems to withdraw His presence from you, you get to decide how to remain in Him.

That relationship can be as distant or as intimate as you want it to be. There may be some discipline and consistency due on your part. Like any relationship, it takes work. It can’t go on autopilot.

The old cliche saying is still true: If you think God is distant, guess who moved.

Make that relationship as meaningful and rich as you like. You get to decide what you want and need. It is in your control.

Sweet.

Talk later!

Life is full of hard lessons, now isn’t it?

This should be self-evident, but we could probably save ourselves a lot of grief if we’d just simply chill. What I’ll share with you today falls in that vein. This pondering on hard lessons might strike you as defeatist. I’ll go with it anyway; you may find this expendable.

Or it might just be what you need to hear today. It’s certainly what I needed.

With that as background, let’s peruse this. These are my three hard lessons. You could probably make up your own list. And this is just three out of many.

 1. Some people can’t or won’t change. Leave them alone. Leave them where they are.

Oh, y’all, this is so not me. I look around and see people suffering, frankly. I’m not talking about just physical ailments, although that could be part of the mix. Rather, I’m seeing people setting themselves up for heartache, embracing the wrong kind of pain, and being taught some hard lessons … and not growing because of them.

So here’s Tony, watching someone make perfectly soul-scarring choices, and watching their life unravel.

And I’m learning to leave them right where they are.

Hear me: this doesn’t mean that I don’t care. Quite the opposite. It just means that, despite the fact that I always want to fix people, much in the same way a mechanic would want to fix a car that continued to stall, I have to take my hands off.

When it comes to hard lessons, some people just have to experience some hard lessons. What this implies comes from Alcoholic Anonymous – paraphrased, it says that “you can’t want something for someone more than they want it for themselves.” In other words – hands off.

So I, in effect, just have to leave people alone. The upside? I can intercede. For we who are believers, this may be something that doesn’t come easy. Deeds, not words, right? Let’s get our hands on that person hurting and make things right with our wisdom and advice.

Nope. Take them to Jesus. And leave there. Be available, be present, but let God take them through the hard lessons.

2.  Accept the tough situations, and the good situations, for what they are.

This might be tough to absorb, but there are a whole lot of things in life that are out of your hands. But none of them, nothing, not a thing is out of God’s hands.

Capisce?

To clarify: this is not an invitation to roll over and play dead, turn a blind eye, or whatever metaphor you care to invoke. The hard lessons component to this is that you simply must accept what is in your life, good and bad, because God has either allowed it or ordained it.

There are some deep theological weeds to get into here. Not today, not from me.

Rather, understand that for believers there is no such thing as “it just is.” It is what it is, certainly, but again – it’s no accident that it is.

I’m all about providence and sovereignty. God’s in control. Were he not, if there was just one renegade molecule in the universe, then He would have to abdicate His throne.

Yes, work for change as you are directed by the Holy Spirit. But exercise some wisdom, too. You may just need to take your hands off things you can’t directly impact.

Again, intercede. Accept that God is Lord of all, and for pity’s sake, relax.

3. Realize not every action needs a reaction or response.

This is one of the really hard lessons for me. I blame it on social media – or, rather, my abuse of it.

Here’s the scenario. I’ll be scrolling through Facebook, looking for news and updates or friends, and finding memes that crack me up.

Then I’ll read a post, invariably from someone I love or respect, and think to myself, “Are you nuts?” (Things from strangers don’t affect me this way.)

I’ll read something that is so blatantly wrongheaded and untrue, something that was cut and pasted or reposted without one scintilla of rational thought or vetting, and think “do you even know how ignorant this makes you sound?”

Then I get all self-righteous, as in “I’d never share anything so moronic. I’m better/smarter/more reasoned than that.” If it’s from someone I know to be a Christian, I think, “You’re making us all look bad.”

At that point, I feel the need to challenge that person’s thoughts, because, hey, don’t you want to know if you’re wrong?

I’ll type out one of my typical, reasoned, eloquent responses. I’ll put a lot of thought in it, because I don’t want to be reactionary. I want them to know of my respect for them, their measured thinking, and (hopefully) without dissing them, I’ll dismantle them by pointing out (in love) the fallacies in their statements.

Then I’ll sit back, all smug and self-satisfied…

And then delete it all.

Here’s one of my really hard lessons I’ve had to learn: I don’t have to correct everyone. Know why? I don’t always know their story.

People post and share out of a sense of who they are, what values they hold, and what beliefs are cherished by them. If I say anything, even if I’m trying to correct a position they hold, it invariably comes across as an attack on them. Most people can’t separate their beliefs from who they are.

And, as hard as this is to conceive, I might be wrong.

Of all the hard lessons, this is the toughest of the three for me. I simply don’t need to respond to everything I read. Sometimes I might. Sometimes I should. But, by and large, it seems wise for me to just listen.

That’s my three hard lessons. If you’ve of a mind to comment, I’d love to hear your hard lessons, too.

Be well.

You should never give up. It’s easy to just call it quits, y’know? And perhaps there are times when you need to say, “I got nuthin’. I don’t need to continue this track. I need to protect myself.”

Granted. That’s not what I’m talking about. In one sense, there are times when it’s absolutely appropriate to back away. Rather, I’m talking about throwing in the proverbial towel just because things are horrendously tough.

There are times when I’ve given up, to my own shame. Whatever challenges I faced before giving up may have even gotten worse because I simply quit … because I wanted to avoid any discomfort or potential hurt.

”Quitter.” Who wants that title? If you never give up, then being a “quitter” isn’t an issue.

I want to believe that “quitting” isn’t the same thing as being a “quitter.” But to never give up? That’s not always been true of me.

• As a youth minister, there were times when I’ve given up on a wayward kid. My attitude was “I’ve given you my best shot, but we’re done. I don’t love you any less, but we’re done.”
• There have been other times when I’ve given up on other people. Maybe I just felt like I didn’t have any reason to continue a relationship.
• Projects and goals? Have mercy. I have half-read books, half-written articles and even books, abandoned budgets, a couple , gazillion diets and health improvement gigs, and heaven knows what else.

I could go on, but I won’t, because I want you to have your own list in mind.

Make no mistake – as I’ve stated, it is acceptable to fold your tent and move on if it’s the thing to do. But when I say “never give up,” I’m talking about quitting just because it’s hard.

So you should never give up, and here are five reasons why.

1.  You’ll be better able to deal with your fears.

When we give up, it’s often because we’re simply afraid. There may be some boogeyman out there waiting to pounce … we quit because the unknown is really scary. Rather than take an acceptable risk, we just turn tail and run.

But if you persevere, you may just find that what was scaring you so badly was all in your head. So never give up just because you’re afraid.

2.  Your past doesn’t determine your future.

We all have regrets. There are things we see in our mental rear view mirrors that threaten to overtake us. We carry scars from bad experiences, bad relationships, and bad choices.

Well, that was then and this is now. While we are products of days gone by, we aren’t trapped in them. We can choose wisely because we’ve learned from what happened back whenever.

We don’t know the future. But we do know that it’ll be different from the past, and we have real choices as to how our future will unfold. Never give up just because there’s some bad stuff back there. Key phrase? It’s back there. 

3.  Failure is important.

Did you choke on that one?

It is important, and plays a big part in your desire to never give up. If you fail, you evaluate what happened, apply whatever lessons you can learn from it, and move the heck on. I’d classify this as “tough self-love.”

If you’ve failed, it’s evidence that you least attempted something. It didn’t work. It could have been a relational failure, a monetary failure, or just a dumb move.

Zig Ziglar said it best: “Failure is an event, not a person.” So don’t beat yourself up. If you’ve failed, it may end up being one of the best things that could’ve happened

4.  You’re better prepared for whatever comes your way.

I like this thought. Think about it. When you’re challenged and you’re ready to call it a day, you still want to never give up. It’s simple. Perseverance now leads to perseverance in the future.

You prove to yourself that you’re able to call on resources you didn’t know you had. And those little victories of self-control and self-discipline are building blocks for events to come.

Even now, you can probably look back on those little moments when, by golly, you held fast. You did it then; do it now.

5.  You can call on the supernatural strength that comes from God.

Don’t overlook this. You never give up because you aren’t facing life alone.

I think other writers have said it more eloquently than me.

“We are always in the forge, or on the anvil; by trials God is shaping us for higher things.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perseverance of our will to overcome them.” – C. S. Lewis

“Nothing paralyzes our lives like the attitude that things can never change. We need to remind ourselves that God can change things. Outlook determines outcome. If we see only the problems, we will be defeated; but if we see the possibilities in the problems, we can have victory.” – Warren Wiersby

And, of course, ancient script:

Romans 5:3-5

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

James 1:2-4

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

That’s some good stuff right there. I don’t have anything to add.

Never give up.

Winston Churchill never gave a speech in which he said, “Never give up.” But he did give one where he said “Never give in.” It seems appropriate, and I’d encourage you to read the whole thing for context. Here’s a quote:

But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period — I am addressing myself to the School — surely from this period of ten months this is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty — never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.

Talk later.