I ran across this quote from E.B. White (you read Charlotte’s Web, right?) and it is haunting me, because it has to do with being compassionate and upright. I want to tease this one out.
“As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time.”
I’m not sure why White added the adjectives he did – upright man and compassionate woman – when women can be upright and men can be compassionate too. But I’ll go with that.
So what are the traits of an upright man?
- Standing tall. I’ve heard people referred to as “straight up.” I like that.
- Unbowed. You can’t be upright and bowed at the same time. Bowing is an appropriate response to Deity, but facing opposition with determination – that’s being unbowed. Or it’s simply being brave.
- Honest. Like not ducking your head when you’re ashamed of something you’ve said or done. Owning up to error.
- Having integrity. That’s your yes being yes and your no being no. Folks should be able to interact with you without fear of you doing something underhanded.
- Transparent. What you see is what you get. No ambivalence.
And a compassionate woman?
- Caring. Not just a surface “doing the right thing.” It’s a matter of investing your heart in someone or something else.
- Sacrificial. While you certainly must look after yourself – you can’t draw water from an empty well – at times it’s appropriate and necessary to give beyond yourself.
- Tenderhearted. This is a desired trait for everyone, naturally, but my thought is that to be tenderhearted is to let your guard down and empathize with someone else’s need. Which means you might even share in their feelings.
- Creative. You ever thought about how you can show you care? Words are okay, but sometimes feeble. Sometimes “doing” is good, if it means helping in a tangible way. But sometimes just being – offering presence – is what is called for.
- Unwavering. This means loving until the end. This is tricky; sometimes you can love someone and realize you can’t be what they need you to be, and have to distance yourself to some degree. Still, love is non-negotiable. It’s not selective.
I am encouraged when I have the opportunity to be around upright men and compassionate women. Here are four truths:
For one thing, it keeps me from feeling alone. You may have moments of thinking that you are the only one who “gets it.” You are frustrated and hurt because others don’t see the same needs you do. Upright men and compassionate women inspire me to be more in the moment, to unleash my heart, and to genuinely strive to make a difference in my little world.
Secondly, White said that the “contagion may spread.” Can being upright and compassionate take on viral traits? I’d like to think so.
There have been times when I’ve sought to take the high road in a contentious debate. I’ve wanted to be a peacemaker. Problem is, some people thrive in a good fight, and I’m not talking about the kind of disagreements that lead to an aimable solution to a problem. I’m talking about fighting because of pure meanness.
When people aren’t living their very best lives, they sometimes resort to commiseration through competitive yelling.
I want to do my little part to banish that – at least from my life, and from the lives of others who would give kindness a chance. Listening to each other, for starters. Spreading that seems to me to be a noble endeavor.
Third, what do you do with a desolate scene? It’s hard not to think about Ukraine when invoking that phrase.
Check this out. This is Ukrainian navy musicians performing in front of a barricade made of sandbags near the opera theater in central Odessa, Ukraine, March 8, 2022. (REUTERS/Iryna Nazarchuk)
How can hope thrive in the midst of chaos and desolation? Well, by golly, it obviously can. It brings to mind the legendary Phoenix, rising from the ashes.
Ukraine is teaching all of us a lot about being upright and compassionate. I’m seeing those virtues being played out in real time. It gives me hope.
Finally, there is this: Hope is the thing left to us.
I’ll ride this horse until it drops. You are aware of the name of this website, right? Because, in the deepest parts of my bone marrow, I can not find any reason for hopelessness, especially for the believer.
When you say “it’s hopeless,” what you are saying is that you are psychic, that you can foresee the future, and you know there is no chance for things to get better.
How can you know that? The circumstances you find yourself in are transient. Yesterday was different from today, and tomorrow will be, in like fashion, different too.
It may be that you’ve perceived yourself to be tossed about on the waves of fate, unable to control what is happening around you. In some measure, that’s true. But there is a whole lot you can do to have hope, the main thing being to have faith in God. I promise He is not staying up all night fretting over the state of His Creation and wondering how He’s to fix this mess. He has plans and divine intent, and He is in no fashion obligated to let us in on His designs.
Make no mistake. This is a bad time. A very bad time, and certainly the worst I’ve seen in my years here. And yet, for me to say that betrays my short-sightedness. The best I can manage is a temporal view of things, which consists of the here and now and whatever my memory can resurrect from days gone by.
There is this: There is always hope. Always. It is the gift of a benevolent and gracious Giver. And we need to learn to accept that gift without question. It sustains us in the dark days we are experiencing even now, and have been experiencing for some time.
O be joyful.
Talk later!