Facing Trials with Authenticity: When God Chooses Real Over Superficial

Trials and tribulations are an inevitable part of life. You know, there are days when we wish we had a magic wand to wave away our problems, or a switch we could flip to fast-forward through the hard times. But if there’s one thing we can take solace in, it’s the knowledge that our struggles don’t catch God off guard. He sees them, understands them, and has a purpose behind each one.

When I say there are no magical words to take away your pain or speed up the trial you’re enduring, I mean it. But this isn’t a call for despair. Instead, it’s an invitation to embrace the reality that the struggle is a part of your story. Consider the most transformative stories in the Bible: Moses wandering in the desert, David facing Goliath, Paul enduring shipwrecks and imprisonments. Their trials weren’t quick fixes. They were journeys that molded, shaped, and refined them into the people God intended them to be.

One of the most reassuring truths is that God isn’t interested in the superficial. He doesn’t prioritize the Instagram-perfect moments, the airbrushed versions of our lives, or the temporary highs we get from feel-good quotes. Instead, God is all about authenticity. The term I like to use is, “God only does REAL.” Now, what does that mean?

In a world where so much feels curated and artificial, where we’re often sold quick fixes and shallow comfort, God’s approach is refreshingly genuine. He doesn’t promise us a life without challenges, but He does assure us of His unwavering presence through them. This isn’t about the fleeting motivation that gives a momentary lift. This is about lasting transformation – a deep, soulful change that not only affects us but also influences those around us.

By going through genuine struggles, we gain authentic wisdom and strength. This isn’t the kind of wisdom you acquire from reading a self-help book or attending a weekend seminar. This is wisdom born from experience, from wrestling with challenges, from sometimes stumbling and getting back up with God’s help. The strength we gain isn’t just physical or emotional; it’s a spiritual fortitude that anchors us even in the fiercest storms.

And there’s a ripple effect to all of this. When others see you – a real person, genuinely transformed by real experiences with a real God – they are inspired. Not by the artificial, but by the genuine growth and resilience they see in you. It becomes a testimony of God’s grace, of His ability to turn trials into triumphs, and of the beauty that can arise from ashes.

In closing, if you’re in the midst of a challenging season, I encourage you to lean into the authenticity of it all. Recognize that God is in the business of real transformations, not superficial ones. Let your struggle shape you, refine you, and prepare you for the next chapter of your story. And always remember: even when the journey is tough, with God by your side, the destination is worth it.

Talk later!

Character. Do you know what that is? Do you know how to develop character?

This may be a non-issue for you. You may be the most consistent person in the universe. You are unfailingly the same, no matter the circumstances or who you’re with.

Character is who you are when no one’s looking. Is that who you are? To develop character, you have to be consistent and authentic, all the time. All the time.

Don’t give yourself any wiggle room on this. If you’re going to develop character, you have to do a serious gut check.

Fortunately, you can correct those inconsistencies.

The reason I’m tackling this today is that I’ve come to see why some people are depressed and even hopeless is because they know they aren’t being true to their authentic selves. They are chameleons, adapting to whatever their environment is. This isn’t inherently bad. The problem comes when we try to “get away” with something. Perhaps we pretend to be something we aren’t to fit in.

Character is who we are at our core. There’s good character and bad character, yes?

I just don’t believe we need to bring any more grief on ourselves than we have to. That means we have to choose who we really are (and you can choose – you aren’t totally hardwired and unchangeable).

To pull this off – and to develop character as we should – there are some steps we can take. Some of them call for some earnest self-evaluation. That’s not always pleasant. But to move you from where you are (especially if you’re feeling like a phony) to where you need to be (walking upright before God and man), we need to confront what I call “the me nobody knows.”

I’d love for you to do this in writing in a journal. Barring that, at least put some serious thought into what I’m asking. You know I’m a huge proponent of journaling. I’d encourage you not to take any shortcuts. You’ll be better for it.

First, think of at least three occasions when you did the right thing.

I’d even go as far as to ask you to identify those three things you did in spite of the cost. You held fast against the prevailing winds. You stiffened your spine and faced what might’ve hurt you, your relationships, your vocation, or any number of things.

Attaboy. Attagirl.

Second, think about three times you blew it.

You caved.

Because of circumstances, other people, a temptation, whatever – you messed up. Maybe no one knows about it but you. But you know, deep down in your bone marrow, that you showed a shocking lack of integrity. When it came t0 developing character, you came up lacking.

Write this down, too.

Third, I’d like for you to come up with three people in your life with whom you aren’t being completely honest.

This isn’t about revealing your most private thoughts. We all have those. What we’re after is a list of three people that you are consciously and purposefully misleading. Maybe you’re hiding something. Maybe there is something in your life you’re ashamed of. You feel that if they knew what was going on, they’d turn their backs on you.

Honesty. It’s a crucial part of developing character. It’ll keep you from feeling like a fraud.

Fourth, think of three ways you aren’t being true to the best that’s in you.

You know what you are capable of. You know that, by God’s grace, you have what it takes to be a winner. I’m not trying to be some sort of motivational guru. But most of us recognize a gap between where we are and where we need to be. I’d even go as far as to say you already know what it would take to let your best self rise.

So identify three areas that could use some real work. Those areas that would bring you immense personal blessings but, for whatever reason, you find yourself content to be quietly miserable.

And fifth, think of three areas of personal stress. Here’s the question: How might they be caused by you yourself?

It’s an awful thought, knowing that stress is self-inflicted. I don’t have any empirical evidence to back this up, but I believe that so much of the hopelessness, anxiety, and fear we feel is because of stress. Furthermore, that stress might be rooted in our own lack of character. We aren’t being faithful to who we are or should be. We become inauthentic when we pretend or cover up.

I’m still working through how I feel about all this. Maybe this is a reach. What I am certain of, though, is that a lack of character, an abandonment of authenticity, will erode your soul.

Just be real.

If your character is in shambles, and you feel like a fraud, you can turn that around. The first step is acknowledging your state and what it’s doing to you.

Lord knows we’re all works in progress, and don’t use my musings as an excuse to beat yourself up.

Developing character is all about being authentic. Let that be your passion. You’ll be better for it.

~ Tony ~

There are some people who live their entire lives living for the approval of others. Call it chronic people-pleasing.

I know of a woman who wouldn’t dare leave the house without all the beds being made up. That is not a bad thing – actually, it’s pretty virtuous. There’s a really fine book titled Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life …And Maybe the World that deals with this very thing. Highly recommended.

Here, though, was her motivation, her thinking: “If the house caught on fire, I don’t want the firemen thinking that I’m a slob.” She was serious.

Well okay then. She let the opinions of complete strangers dictate her behavior. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the firemen probably wouldn’t inspect her beds if the house were burning.

I can, in the abstract, understand her feelings.

My tendency, historically, has been to be a people-pleaser. I want people to like me. When someone says, “I don’t care what other people think,” I think to myself, “Gee, what a nice protective fort you’ve built for yourself.” I can’t relate to that; I do care what people think. Part of that is testimonial – I want folks to look at me and see God at work rather than pathetic ol’ Tony who ain’t all that.

So I’d be lying if I said that my behavior hasn’t at times been dictated by other people’s opinion of me. Living for the approval of of others? I get that.

Here’s where it gets complex.

Some people aren’t going to like you. Ever.

That, for me personally, is inconceivable. I can’t imagine anyone not liking me once they got to know me. I know that the first impression I give isn’t always the best – that’s an introvert thing, not jumping right in all cheerful and engaging. It takes me a minute. (I’ve learned some skills to compensate for that, but if you’ve never met me and I come across as all gregarious and approachable, just know that I’ve worked really, really hard to be able to do that. It doesn’t come naturally.)

Still, because I do easily show genuine interest in others, and do care deeply that people have good lives, get along, have plans that succeed, I don’t know why anyone would not want me around.

Shocker – some folks don’t like me. I don’t think there are that many, but in my mind, one is too many.

Some people don’t like you either, so don’t be getting all high and mighty on me.

How does that manifest itself, and what does that have to do with living for the approval of others?

You become others’ puppet if you aren’t careful, jerked along on invisible strings. There are some people who’ve made up their minds about you, and there really isn’t anything you can do to change their opinions, try as you might.

So why try? Seriously.

Conventional wisdom (by way of Polonius – Hamlet – Wm. Shakespeare) says, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” That’s good counsel, and difficult to take for many of us. (I’ll share even better counsel in a minute.)

I put a high premium on being authentic. But I do adjust my attitude and behavior sometimes based on who I’m with.

Here’s what happens. You can keep the course of y0ur own life, not veering to the right or to the left. Or you can be a chameleon, changing to fit the social environment.

It doesn’t matter. People will form opinions of you no matter what you do, and you can’t force that. You will be judged, sometimes unfairly or inaccurately.

One day, perhaps, people who know you now (or think they know you now) will look back and realize they were wrong. They will see they should have given you a chance. That’s good. It won’t undo what happened in the past, but it’s still good.

In the here and now, though, guard yourself. Don’t do things intended to prove others wrong about you. It’ll exhaust you, trying to change people’s opinions of you. Be steadfast – it’ll save you some confusion. You don’t want to forget who you really are.

Here’s my best counsel (with all due respect to Polonius):

Do what you do for the Lord. Don’t be living for the approval of others. Actually, don’t even do it for yourself. You’re harder to please than anyone else.

Let me be clear: Do what you do for the Lord. He’s the One who has been here all along.