If you’re going to embrace self-pity, you might as well embrace misery.

It’s a funny thing. Some people simply seem to enjoy feeling bad for themselves. Respectfully, if that’s true of you, I have a simple question: How has self-pity helped you improve your life?

I get it. I do. This is one of those therapeutic blogs I need to write to myself from time to time.

Part of my self-pity grows from a Christian worldview. Huh?

In full disclosure … when I’m in a funk, and struggling with post-concussion syndrome, a migraine, or just low, self-pity rears its ugly head. It’s like getting thrown into a well, looking up at that little circle of daylight, and wondering how I’m going to get out.

Self-pity can make you feel like a failure at everything. Not good.

So, as a Christian, there shouldn’t be any room for self-pity. Problem is, it’s my faith (or lack of it) that moves me in that direction.

What an awful irony. The more intimate I become with God, the more aware I am of just how sinful I am. I realize that I am selfish, self-centered, and just what a lowlife I can be.

I struggle around my peers who seem to be sailing along in their Christian walk. That pity I have is because I haven’t reached that glorious place of a bulletproof Christian life. My head knows that everyone struggles; my heart says I shouldn’t be struggling like I am.

I’d love to feel like I’m awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way. That’s shallow, but I’d love to have folks believe I’ve got it together 24/7/365. I am aware that folks aren’t that easily suckered, but, hey, you gotta have aspirations, right?

It might be that, like me (God forbid), this self-pity thing is camped out on your back porch, ready to pounce when you leave the house. You may be feeling pretty awful about your sin and haven’t been as repententant as you should be. You want to be better for God, but it all comes back to you and how you’re feeling. There’s something out there that can move you out of self-pity, but it’s elusive, and just out of reach.

What’s a believer to do about self-pity?

As always, the Bible speaks. Check out this ancient script – it’s 2 Corinthians 10:3-6:

³ For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. ⁴ The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. ⁶ And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

Paul wants us to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. In the context of self-pity, that means that any self-pitying thoughts are of us and not of Him. He doesn’t see us as low-life bottom feeders. He thinks we’re pretty wonderful. The key is to see ourselves as He sees us, right?

Here’s good stuff, from 1 Corinthians 1:26-31:

²⁶ Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸ God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰ It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹ Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

This is some powerful ju-ju here. What’s crazy about it is that God encourages low self-esteem.

Look at that. We are not wise, not influential, not nobly born, we are weak, we are despised. That might be what we want to beat ourselves up about – those are traits of a loser, right? – but God turns that idea on its head.

The kicker is that God doesn’t want us to have a higher self-esteem, but instead a higher God-esteem. The focus is on Him, not us. You aren’t amazing, He is. You aren’t flawless; He is. You’re weak. He is strong.

We tend to obsess about ourselves, which is normal, because we spend a lot of time with ourselves. The thought is to put that self-pity aside because it simply doesn’t accomplish anything. That comes from a shift in focus – less of me, more of Him.

I love this. When it comes to self pity, the truth is that we can and should be mindful of our salvation every day. Every time you blow it, every time you don’t measure up to your self-imposed standards, God comes alongside us and says, “C’mon, pal. Once more, you need to be reminded that it’s not about you. I am present and active in your life. I’m not buying this self-pity stuff. You don’t have to feel that way, because I’ve given you all of grace. I saved you. You didn’t do anything to earn it, and you sure don’t deserve it. I’ve done this because I love you. Why self-pity? I’m all you need.”

Maybe you are the worst of sinners. But quit whining. You may not be all that in and of yourself, but you can celebrate God, Who came to you, undeserving sinner that you are, and adopted you into His family.

You don’t have to drown in self-pity and think only of yourself. God thinks about you all the time.

Talk later!

It seems that some “life rules” for this new year might be in order.

There’s nothing magical about these*, but they seem pretty appropriate. Fact is, they’re good life rules for any year.

Here ya go. Seven life rules, with some ruminations from me.

1 – Make peace with your past.

We all have those incidents from our past that tend to linger in our life’s rear-view mirror. That’s understandable. But what you want to be wary of is letting those past things, whatever they are, not disturb your present.

We don’t get do-overs. What’s done is done. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along. It’s called the past for a reason. Glean what you can, but don’t camp there. Don’t let them confound your present.

2 – What other people think of you is none of your business.

Here’s a tough life rule for you, perhaps. There is absolutely zero you can do about what people think. Honestly, what difference does it make? You be you. Be authentic. To the extent you can internalize this one, the more freedom you have. Chances are you can’t change someone’s mind about you, so don’t bother trying. Leave it alone. Again, just be real. Don’t let others put snakes in your head.

3 – Time heals almost everything.

This particular life rule has a little disclaimer – “almost.” Time is a healer, but it’s not the end-all. Hurts can leave scars even after healing takes place. I get that. You don’t want to live with perpetual regret or pain, obviously.

In essence, the counsel of this life rule is “give it time.” Some things just don’t lend themselves to quick fixes. Time is relative – years? Decades? A week? Who knows. It depends. (Is this vague enough for you?)

I’ll stand by this one. Whatever is out of whack with you, give it time.

4 – No one is is charge of your happiness.

Except you.

Think someone or something outside of yourself is supposed to make you happy? Nope. Life’s not like that, and the life rule is that you are responsible. There’s a prevalent entitlement mindset in our society these days we need to shuck.

This is not the same as God-given joy. He does give joy. What I’m talking about is the notion that the world exists to give you pleasure. Alert: the world doesn’t owe you anything, at least not happiness. There is the idea of “the pursuit of happiness,” and that’s actually pretty legit. There is nothing wrong with finding some fun out there and enjoying it.

Pursuit is the key word in this famous historical phrase, because it implies that you go looking for it. It doesn’t automatically come to you.

I’d hasten to say this isn’t a license for hedonism. You are in charge of your appropriate happiness. I’ll let it go at that.

5 – Don’t compare your life to others.

That, and don’t judge them either. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

This particular life rule has a couple of components that are complementary. I suppose we’ve all done this – looked at someone with envy because they seem to be getting all the breaks. They’re sharper than you, better looking, healthier, all that. Even when you go beyond surface appearances, they still seem to have it all together.

I hate to feel like that. Because they are unique, you and I are unique, and because of that there doesn’t even need to be any comparison. You be you, in other words, and I’ll be me, and I will believe the ancient script that states that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.

And that judging thing? Have mercy. I’ll talk to someone, or read something they’ve posted on social media, and I wonder: Did your mama drop you on your head as an infant?

Because … what I’m hearing is so patently absurd and devoid of reason or critical thinking that I want to say, “Maybe your ignorance doesn’t need to be on such blatant display.”

I’ll hold my comments about the worst of the conspiracy theories.

The thing is that folks have a reason to believe what they believe. Who am I to judge? I don’t know their stories. Theirs are no less valid than mine. What I see is just a screen capture of one tiny part of their life journey. How could I devalue that?

6 – Stop thinking so much.

There is a divine element to this life rule. It is okay to not have all the answers. You wouldn’t handle omnipotence very well. None of us would. And “why?” is a perfectly acceptable question, as long as you don’t think you’re owed a satisfactory answer.

The good news is that when you need an answer, God may very well reveal it to you when you least expect it. Or not; He can certainly keep His own counsel, and He does. Frequently.

It may sound simplistic to say “just go with it,” but you can turn yourself into a jabbering, drooling, maniacal mess when you try to figure everything out. Some things you won’t ever understand. Some things you will someday.

In the flesh, I say to myself, “quit spending so much time in your own head.” In reality, though, my default thought is “Tony, you are so messed up.” I suppose I’ll be working on #6 all my life. Sheesh. It’s still a good life rule, though.

7 – Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.

Oh, y’all. Please embrace this last life rule.

I’ve advocated here in my blog, and other places, to take periodic news fasts. There is a case to be made for being informed, but I’d really encourage you not to dwell on the things you can’t do anything about.

Many people I know and love are so anxious, even depressed, because of the state of the world. Certainly we need to be diligent in prayer for the needs all around us.

Inherent in that, though, has to come a heartfelt acknowledgement that God’s got this. The problems are His to deal with. And God has no problems, right? He is not trying to figure things out. So, if He’s doing all that heavy lifting, He certainly doesn’t need your help. He owns it all. Not you.

That, beloved, should make you smile. You better listen to your Uncle Tony – you don’t own the world’s grief. You can’t fix everything. Fact is, there’s not a whole lot you can fix, except things like a burned-out light bulb. You can’t fix other people. For the most part, you can’t fix yourself.

Again, smile. Here’s why:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

There’s your life rules. Be well. Talk later!

*These seven aren’t necessarily original with me. I’ll have to credit our old friend “author unknown.” I’ve just fleshed them out a little.

Sometimes I run across something that is so meaningful, so provocative, and so timely that I simply stand back in awe.

What I’m sharing today is by way of Trevin Wax – one of the most first-class intellects I’ve ever experienced, and who is a joy to be around.

I was in a meeting with him a couple of years ago, and he shared with us some musings from Clyde S. Kilby.  I wasn’t familiar with this gentleman, but I’ve since learned that he was an American writer and English professor, best known for his scholarship on the Inklings, especially J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis. Kilby was born in Johnson City, Tennessee, and died in Columbus, Mississippi. That makes him one of my people.

If you know much about me, you’ll understand that this got my attention real quick.

Kilby wrote ten resolutions for mental and spiritual flourishing. I wish I had a fraction of his insight and writing ability.

I’m pleased to share them with you. Be challenged, and be blessed! It’s far better than anything I could have done on my own today.

1. At least once every day I shall look steadily up at the sky and remember that I, a consciousness with a conscience, am on a planet traveling in space with wonderfully mysterious things above and about me.

2. Instead of the accustomed idea of a mindless and endless evolutionary change to which we can neither add nor subtract, I shall suppose the universe guided by an Intelligence which, as Aristotle said of Greek drama, requires a beginning, a middle, and an end. I think this will save me from the cynicism expressed by Bertrand Russell before his death when he said: “There is darkness without, and when I die there will be darkness within. There is no splendor, no vastness anywhere, only triviality for a moment, and then nothing.”

3. I shall not fall into the falsehood that this day, or any day, is merely another ambiguous and plodding twenty-four hours, but rather a unique event, filled, if I so wish, with worthy potentialities. I shall not be fool enough to suppose that trouble and pain are wholly evil parentheses in my existence, but just as likely ladders to be climbed toward moral and spiritual manhood.

4. I shall not turn my life into a thin, straight line which prefers abstractions to reality. I shall know what I am doing when I abstract, which of course I shall often have to do.

5. I shall not demean my own uniqueness by envy of others. I shall stop boring into myself to discover what psychological or social categories I might belong to. Mostly I shall simply forget about myself and do my work.

6. I shall open my eyes and ears. Once every day I shall simply stare at a tree, a flower, a cloud, or a person. I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are but simply be glad that they are. I shall joyfully allow them the mystery of what Lewis calls their “divine, magical, terrifying and ecstatic” existence.

7. I shall sometimes look back at the freshness of vision I had in childhood and try, at least for a little while, to be, in the words of Lewis Carroll, the “child of the pure unclouded brow, and dreaming eyes of wonder.”

8. I shall follow Darwin’s advice and turn frequently to imaginative things such as good literature and good music, preferably, as Lewis suggests, an old book and timeless music.

9. I shall not allow the devilish onrush of this century to usurp all my energies but will instead, as Charles Williams suggested, “fulfill the moment as the moment.” I shall try to live well just now because the only time that exists is now.

10. Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on the assumption that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord, but that today, this very day, some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect who calls himself Alpha and Omega.

Talk soon. Comments welcome!

What does it look like to be whole?

I want to be whole. I’ve been on this kick of moving from brokenness to wholeness. You probably have recognized this.

I’ve figured this out – not because I’m all that brilliant, but just because it’s self-evident. The thought is to be complete in Christ. That’s what it means to be whole. Without Him, there are simply missing pieces.

The implications are huge. It means that you thrive spiritually. It means that you live strong. It means that you are whole and complete.

So what does that look like? Let me share some good stuff from scripture. That’s my authority.

7 thoughts.

1 – It means that you aren’t looking for wholeness in places apart from God.

2 Corinthians 12:9 reads, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

It means that no one but God Himself can return you to wholeness. This is about grace, and the yearning of your heart. There are quick fixes out there, but they don’t last because they’re based in something that has no foundation.

Psalm 73:26 reads, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

2 – You can’t realistically expect other people to meet the needs only Jesus Christ can.

John 15:11 reads, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

Relying on God is the only way you can be healed and fulfilled. This is a companion thought to #1. This one, though, has more to do with what you think people can do to make you whole.

I had a student tell me once, when referring to her boyfriend, “He completes me.” I get that; we need others, and we especially need others in relationships that help us with our shortcomings. Still, we’re still talking about completeness in the flesh here. Aim for eternal completion. Jesus does that.

Psalms 107:20 reads, “He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.”

3 – You realize your worth is not defined by your appearance, job performance, human relationships, or anything apart from your relationship with God as His child.

2 Corinthians 5:7 reads, “We live by faith, not by sight.”

This is tricky. We don’t think we’re whole because we aren’t measuring up to some standard out there. Truth is, though, that the relationship with God I’ve been speaking of is the only flawless source of your sense of worth. It’s not how you “look,” or how you think you’re perceived. How does God see you? He is what makes you whole, not some self- or society-imposed standard.

4 – Don’t say “It’s impossible.” God gives freedom. You are forgiven and loved no matter what. You show God gratitude by living in His light and making wise choices.

1 Peter 5:7 reads, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

You aren’t stuck. You are not broken forever. You can be whole. This casting anxiety thing? It’s a promise, because He does indeed care for you.

5 – You don’t live your life to please other people. Instead, you strive to please God by discovering your purpose in Him and living that to the max.

Psalm 94:19 reads, “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”

Can I just ‘fess up here and tell you that I want people to like me? I mean, the alternative is for people to dislike me, and that’s not especially appealing. You can’t please everyone, right? So, the obvious tactic is to please God. He’s got you here for a reason. He isn’t hiding that from you. Work that reason. Be joyful.

6 – Stop yourself immediately when an unhealthy thought enters your mind, and challenge it with “Does this thought line up with the word of God?”

Psalm 42:5 reads, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God.”

What takes up headspace in your life? Here’s an absolute, incontrovertible truth: you are what you think about. Man, I could riff on that all day. I don’t need to, because you know exactly what I’m saying. It’s true.

7 – The battlefield is your mind, first and foremost.

2 Corinthians 10:5 reads, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Again, I’m piggybacking on a previous thought. But your mind, y’all! That’s where it goes down.

Here’s the cool thing. You have this superpower that distinguishes you and separates you from all the rest of creation:

You can choose. You can make choices. You can even make good choices.

That’s a big deal. By God’s grace and empowered by the indwelling Holy Spirit, you can choose the quality of your life. You can’t control the outcome of things – God does that – but in aligning yourself with Him and acting in obedience, things work out. Every time. Maybe not in the way you wanted or planned, but in a way that honors God and leads to your ultimate success.

I think that’s amazing. That’s being made whole.

Thoughts that lead to brokenness are the devil’s way of blocking what God wants you to know about who you are in Christ. You have to take those thoughts about yourself and lock them up. Make your mind listen to what God has to say about you. If you do, you will find wholeness.

Comments welcome. Talk soon!

We are all broken in some fashion, aren’t we? And brokenness can manifest itself in broken relationships.

This is a theme I tend to return to often, Broken relationships are just excruciating. Let’s suss this out, and let me see if we can get some guidance here.

You know where I’m coming from, right? And the fact is there are two sides to this particular coin, and we’ve hurt others just as much as they’ve hurt us.

There are broken people living with broken people in a broken world, and that leads to even more brokenness.

We don’t understand how much power we hold to cut down, wound, and affect the hearts of other people. We can be devastated by others. 

Here’s what I’m talking about. Can you relate?

Psalm 55:12-14, 19b-21

“It is not an enemy who taunts me-

I could bear that.

It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me-

I could have hidden from them.

Instead, it is you- my equal,

My companion and close friend.

What good fellowship we once enjoyed 

As we walked together to the house of God…

..My enemies refuse to change their ways;

They do not fear God.

As for my companion, he betrayed his friends;

He broke his promises.

His words are as smooth as butter,

But in his heart is war.

His words are as soothing as lotion,

But underneath are daggers!”

Yikes. Can you think of a time when someone close to you hurt you? Did you feel broken after this?

So.

What can we do when we’re hurt by others?

Redemption is a root theme of scripture. It’s God’s role to take broken things and put them back together, and this includes relationships. It’s a cooperative effort; He’ll do His part, but we can’t be passive. Every hurtful situation is unique to the parties involved, and reconciliation is easier in some scenarios than others. Still, I believe there are some principles at work.

1.  Healing from brokenness is God’s gift.

This is God’s role, and healing always comes from Him and no one else. If you’ve been hurt, then the person who hurt you can’t fix you. And if you’ve hurt someone else, you don’t have the power to heal them. Our role is to tear down all the barriers of pain and resentment we put in the other person’s path, and then step back and let God fix what is broken.

2.  God’s goal  is to bring beauty out of every brokenness.

You may have been the wounded, or you may have inflicted the wounds. Be comforted knowing God is the redeemer in all things, and He’ll bring beauty out of brokenness we cause or experience. This is the only hope in a world where we as people hurt others, and they end up broken.

3.  Jesus heals.

Christ cares when people are broken and hurt by others. God hasn’t made all things new yet. Ultimately, He will. At the cross, he took action against our brokenness, He brings beauty out of brokenness now, and He will ultimately redeem relational brokenness forever.

4. Pray before taking any action.

This should be self-evident, but if you’re broken, this is a step in restoration. Remember you can’t fix this. So you have to ask for wisdom, patience, and love. Invite God to do what you can’t.

5. Don’t put off apologizing.

No apology, no reconciliation. Simple, right? But don’t put it off. Rather than wait for the other person to make the first move, jump in. It takes two people to mess up a relationship, but three to mend what is broken – that’s what God does. Insisting you didn’t do anything wrong leads to hurt and resistance, so you have to be vulnerable. Own your actions.

6.  Forgive the other person.

You have great power. The power to forgive! Lots of times, being broken comes from a past wound that one or more people created, and while that wound festers, there can be no restoration. Forgiveness, then, needs to be at the front end in order to deal with brokenness.

7.  Listen carefully, talk caringly.

So much of being in a broken relationship comes from us not really listening to them and striving to understand them. Listen, and don’t sit there rehearsing what you want to say when they take a breath. And, you for sure want to watch the words you say and how to say them.

8. Admit your own failings.

Being broken means acknowledging sometimes you can break yourself. This is a companion thought to Number 5 above. Instead of trying to win another argument, check out James 5:16 and confess any sins you’ve committed against that person. Take responsibility for what has happened.

9. Pursue peace.

There is a real chance you might never see eye-to-eye with the other person. You may not get the closure you want. That’s okay, because remember – it isn’t about winning! It’s a matter of realizing you both are broken, and you want to work on that relationship so it can be restored.

10. Know that, in some cases, the most necessary thing is to just walk away.

I hate this. There are some relationships that are so broken that even after prayer, pleas for forgiveness, and doing all you know to do for restoration, there may be some barriers that can’t be broken down by human hands. At that point, it’s time to step back and ask God to step in and be God. This isn’t a move to be taken lightly, because it might be perceived as a fresh wound. Again, God’s got this, and you can be at peace knowing you’ve done what you needed to do.

One thing for sure: If you are a believer, God works all the events of this life together for good. That means that nothing, and I mean nothing you do or that is done to you is irredeemable. God wants to bring beauty from your relational pain and brokenness and use it to sanctify you and bring about healing from being broken.

O be joyful.

Talk soon!

There are some things that take up too much headspace for me – specifically, things that are out of my control.

I realized when I started writing this particular blog that I had way too much to share in just one sitting. So this will be continued next time, okay? (Teaser!)

Fact is, there are plenty of things out of my control, and yours, too.

I thought I’d share seven of these. This isn’t some magic number, but I’m guessing that at a minimum these seven are close to universal. I’ll just air these out, and next time I’ll give you some encouragement.

Here ya go: 7 things out of my control.

1. The actions of others.

Think about the folks you come into contact with regularly. If you want to think globally, that’s fine, but maybe we need to restrict this to your immediate circle.

It’s a hard truth that you can’t control what others do. Maybe you can be an influencer, and I hope you are. (Of course, this implies that you know what’s best for others, and that might be a little sketchy.)

People are inherently self-serving, and it takes some effort for them to overcome that … if that’s a goal they have. Chances are, you’ve experienced some hurt because of what others have done. You’d like to help them see how wrong they were (subtle sarcasm there.)

You got nowhere. This is one of those things out of your control.

2. The opinions of others.

Well, yeah. People have strong opinions about, y’know, stuff. They may have strong opinions about you, too. Does that make you uncomfortable? And if so, why?

I know of a lady who was scrupulous about making sure her house was in order, the beds made up, etc., before leaving each morning for work. Her rationale? “If the house catches on fire, I’d hate for the firefighters to see my house in a mess.”

Well, now, my sense is that they wouldn’t care. That’s something out of my control.

Still, she was motivated by the opinion of others. Even complete strangers.

You can’t do anything about what others think. Again, you might be an influencer, but it’s up to them as to what their opinions are.

3. How others take care of themselves.

There is a series of commercials/PSA’s I see frequently about quitting smoking. I’ve never smoked, so this doesn’t really apply to me. But the minute-long spots show vignettes of people who are grotesquely scarred because of surgery, of children having to take care of cancer-ridden parents, and patients dealing with a whole host of horrific ailments.

It may be that someone close to you doesn’t take care of themselves. Maybe they’re morbidly obese. Perhaps they know what they’re doing is unhealthy – not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. It grieves you.

You can’t fix that. People will, or won’t, take care of themselves based on where they are in life and what circumstances surround them.

I had a relative who straight-up said, “Smoking is the only pleasure I have left.” So there’s that.

4. What happens around me.

So here you are, plunked down in a physical location right now. It’s an environmental thing, and it’s not just physical. You may find yourself in an environment made up of other people, circumstances, things like that.

Those things are out of my control. They might not change. Perhaps I can remove myself from that environment, but that doesn’t change the “things” themselves.

As I write this, Jackson, Mississippi, is in a legitimate crisis. I live in metro Jackson, and what is happening doesn’t directly affect me. Jackson is without water, basically, and that means none to drink, none to bathe in, none to cook with, none to flush toilets. It’s really, really bad. We’re on the national news.

I can’t do anything about that. It’s out of my control.

I would say, though, that while I can’t change things, I can serve in the midst of them. While the circumstances themselves are out of my control, I’m not helpless. So maybe this one isn’t totally out of my control. There have been other things over the years I couldn’t do squat about.

5. The past.

This one is pretty self-evident. What’s done is done. We don’t get do-overs. We can commit to not doing boneheaded things from here on out, but it doesn’t change what’s already happened.

If you’ve been following me for some time, you know this is a “thing” for me. People are burdened, crippled by the past. It shouldn’t be this way, but realistically, it is for many.

I can’t change the past. That’s out of my control. It’s easy to say “get over it,” but that’s really, really hard, especially if you have something in your past that looms up in your thoughts like some demonic presence.

6. The future.

Here’s a companion thought to #5. You can’t control the future.

There may be sort of an exception to this. You can make decisions right now that will indeed change the future.

But – you can’t control what those changes are. Be wise, think things through, and in God’s providence make the right calls.

In spite of all that, you don’t get to dictate the outcomes. You can in no fashion control the future. You don’t know what’s out there. If the supervolcano under Yellowstone chooses to blow, it’s gonna blow. That’s out of my control. Fundamentally, the future before you is out of your control, too.

7. What other people think of me.

This one is a bit like #2. The distinction I’d like to make is that while the opinion of others might involve, say, politics, what people think of you is personal, directed at you.

That’s out of my control for sure. I don’t really like that.

It may be that you’ve tried to be charming, or forceful, or used any number of tactics to make people like you.

How’d that work out for ya?

You simply can’t control what other people think of you. You can do all you can to present yourself in a winsome, positive way, but they are still going to have their own opinions of you. Those opinions might change over time. Or not.

In all my years of youth ministry, I finally came to the realization that some kids simply didn’t like me. I can’t imagine anyone not liking me, but it’s true. Oh. The horror.

What other people think of you is out of your hands. As I’ve said, you can be an influencer, but people are going to have their opinions of you no matter what.

So, there you go. There are many things out of my control. There are many things out of your control.

My admittedly lame counsel is for us to collectively get over it. I know, right?

Next time I’ll give you a list of things that are in your control. That’s what we want to major on.

Talk soon!

“No one listens, and no one understands.” Have you ever said or thought that? You are not alone.

“We have learned that the places to which He (God) leads usually have nothing to do with what we think we will make us happy.” – Erin Napier, Make Something Good Today.

If you ever say, “No one listens, and no one understands,” then you might not be talking about others. You may be talking about yourself.

In all my years of working with teenagers, this was a common refrain. I’d talk to kids, and I’d hear these woeful tales of being ignored, or that no one cared about what they were going through. Or, worse, if their parents didn’t understand, then they’d use what they knew against them.

I live in Mississippi. We are prone to storms. Those on the Mississippi Gulf Coast can tell you about dealing with hurricanes – Katrina was perfectly catastrophic. Other hurricanes have hit there over the years. And tornadoes? Have mercy. Our house has sustained tornado damage three times since we bought it in 2005. Minor stuff – a tree, some privacy fencing, some roof damage – but others haven’t been as fortunate.

Right around the corner from us, during one of these storms, a big oak fell on a house and effectively bisected it. No one was hurt, but the house was split right down the middle.

Here’s where it gets complicated, and causes many to wonder about God. They might say “no one listens, and no one understands, not even God.”

While I was grateful our damage was minimal, and thanked God, I know the owners of the other house were believers, too. It’s great that God prevented damage to our house, but the assumption – and it’s a scary one – is that a positive answer to prayer is evidence that God listens and answers our prayers in a way that pleases us. A negative outcome might lead one to believe that God isn’t paying attention and therefore doesn’t answer us.

That’s Satanic. Mark Twain said that the primary reason he couldn’t swallow Christianity was because of unanswered prayers.

If your issue, then, is that “no one listens, and no one understands,” the reality is that unfavorable answers to prayer doesn’t mean that God isn’t listening.

Read Erin’s quote again. She what she said? God takes you places – and by inference deals in other ways with you – that aren’t what you wanted for yourself.

This makes for some big implications. It may be that your “no one listens, and no one understands” mindset is because you hear things from others, or even God, that you didn’t want to hear.

I won’t presume to interpret what others who don’t listen or understand are all about. It may be that they do listen and understand more than you think.

The absolutely glorious news, though, is that God both listens and understands. Think about it:

• God hears all your prayers.
• He knows exactly what you’re going through and what you need.
• God is compassionate.
• He wants to carry the load for you, because His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
• God doesn’t slumber, nor does He sleep.
• He will never leave you or forsake you.
• God’s love never fails.
• He knows your future, every detail of it.

Here is truth, for you who believe no one listens, and no one understands: Just because you didn’t get what you prayed for doesn’t mean that He didn’t listen.

The mental picture I get, and what sustains me, is that when I pray I imagine coming into the presence of God. When I speak, He drops everything, turns to me, and says, “Hey, Tony. You have my undivided attention.”

Cool.

It may be that you’ve asked for things – maybe even prayed for them – and nothing worked out afterwards. I wonder sometimes if God answering our prayers the way we wanted them answered is one of the hardest things we can experience.

We don’t always ask for the things that will help us grow. At the same time, we don’t need to self-edit our prayers. What can we pray about that He doesn’t already know? We have the freedom to talk to Him about our feelings, our fears, and our legitimate needs.

The more time you spend with God, the more you will be comforted. It’s because He listens and He understands. He’s your hiding place, your fortress, the one who gives you strength when you’re tapped out, and He cares for you.

He is never too busy with other people. He doesn’t put you to the side because He’s dealing with world issues.

It all comes down to two choices:

1. Lean on God during those hard times when no one listens and understands, and accept His protection, or –
2. Anything but #1.

It’s your choice. Choose wisely.

Comments welcome. Talk later!

I screwed up. You did too.

Think about it. If you backtrack through your life, you can come up with a painfully long list of times you screwed up.

Some of those incidents were no big deal, like not picking up something at Walmart that was on your shopping list.

Other times you’ve screwed up might be more devastating. A failed relationship. Messing up financially. Making a really bad school or career choice. Not taking care of your health. 

Yep. We’ve all screwed up. That begs the question: is there ever a time you screwed up that wasn’t redeemable?

I’m gonna help you – us – today. In order to do that, we’re going to need to hang out for a while with a famous Old Testament character. Good ol’ Moses.

Talk about a journey. He started out poor, ended up rich, went back to poverty, had an opportunity to lead others in an epic journey (which was a bone-crushing burden). This led to a missed national opportunity, which was followed 40 years later by another chance at closure … that he wasn’t allowed to participate in.

That’s quite the story. Moses screwed up, so we’re in good company.

Check this out:

• He was born a slave.
• He grew up in a palace.
• He lived in a desert.
• He died in the mountains and was buried in an unmarked grave.
• He was never elected to any leadership role.
• He wasn’t a king, but he led a nation.
• He wasn’t a soldier, but he defeated whole armies. 

We need to think about these things. While none of us might not have a life of such sweeping events, there’s a lot we can learn – and be encouraged by. Screwing up doesn’t have to be an ultimate wipe-out.

Moses’ story isn’t one of those rags-to-riches tales. There’s more happening than that. Talk about a career change! It wasn’t like he went from being a doctor to selling cemetery plots. He went from being a slave, to a prince, to a fugitive, to a shepherd for 40 years, and finally another 40 years as a law-giver. I mean, dadgum. How would that look on a resume?

On its face, we have a guy who screwed up in spectacular form all throughout his life. He had several events in his life – bad choices aplenty – that would seem to be total disqualifiers. And yet he was called by God, and called to greatness. 

You may not feel like you’re called to greatness. Well, pilgrim, maybe you need to realign your thinking to determine just exactly what “greatness” is.

Greatness  doesn’t mean that you need to be some sort of powerful leader. It could. It doesn’t mean you need to be someone outstanding in their career. Possibly.

Greatness, to me, is discovering the niche God has placed you in and serving Him in it. 

That’s wide open, now isn’t it? If you’ll agree to my definition, you can find greatness as a friend, spouse, parent, volunteer, most anything. 

Back to Moses, though. Remember we determined that he screwed up?

For instance:

• He started out with something so awful that it should have derailed his life – he killed a guy and buried him in the sand.
• He went into hiding. 
• He tended sheep – not very prestigious for a prince of Egypt.

Hey. Have you ever tried to do something and it blew up in your face? You screwed up. It might just be, however, that it might’ve been the most important experience of your life. There’s a catch, though. When reflecting on that experience, you have to:

• Learn from it.
• Find the strength to try again.
• Let God’s presence and grace keep you from doing it again.

You aren’t the first person to mess up a potentially good relationship. You aren’t the first to watch money slip through your fingers because you couldn’t control your financial appetites. You’re not the first to watch your intimacy with God crumble. 

In short, you aren’t the first person to fail.

It’s typical to play the what-if game.

• Maybe it was your fault. Honestly assess that first.
• Maybe the situation wasn’t right to begin with.
• Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe all sorts of things.

Take some time to suss it all out, but don’t camp out in your head. Moses wandered around for 40 years, and in your context, 40 years might be a little long. It’s appropriate to ask:

• What exactly went wrong?
• What bad choices did I make?
• What’s the one takeaway lesson for me?
• Am I still called to do this?

It’s that old idea of falling off a horse. You don’t lay on the ground, or be paralyzed with fear when considering riding a horse. You saddle up and go again. And again and again.

The one thing after you’ve screwed up that makes that failure permanent is if you quit. Guess what? No one but God has the right to permanently sideline you. 

Here’s what I do all too often when I’ve screwed up. Maybe you can relate.

I focus on my disabilities, weaknesses, circumstances, and past failures rather than on God’s power and presence.

Have mercy. Moses would identify with me! He constantly threw excuses at God.

• The Egyptians won’t listen.
• My people will blow me off.
• I’m ancient. I’m, like, a very senior adult.
• I stutter. No way can I speak before a group.

Moses complained, but it didn’t help. God straightened him out in spite of the fact that he believed he’d screwed up one time too many.

Here’s God’s response. Brace for impact:

I will be with you.

I read that, and everything just leaps into focus. Because once I absorb that, I realize that nothing else matters.

It’s possible that you cringe and hide when you think about the times you’ve screwed up. You are paralyzed when you think about moving forward, because you’re afraid you’ll screw up again. You’re flat-out scared – you don’t want to hurt like that again. You don’t want to hurt anyone else. You don’t want to let anyone down. 

It might just be that God is calling you back to that place you screwed up. 

He may be taking you to the place where you got hurt. To the place you failed, the place you crashed and burned.

We can go the Moses route. We can offer God our list of disqualifiers. God will listen patiently. He’s like that.

But, at the end of all your eloquent excuse-making; at the end of all your doubts and fears; at the end of you asking Him for an easy out, here’s what He’ll say:

I will be with you.

Talk later. 

Love all, serve all, be mistreated. My goodness. There’s all sorts of irony in the title of this blog.

When I cobble these posts together, I purposefully try to be as broad as I can for people all along the faith spectrum. Most of the time, I’m writing what I want to hear for myself. I just kind of let you sit in.

Today, though, I am more in the camp of believers, Christians.

If you are a Christian, how well do you love? Do you love all? And what if you’re mistreated?

You know I’m not talking about love in the sense of romantic love, or even love among friends and family. I’m not even talking about self-love, which is a big deal.

Nope – I’m talking about supernatural, God-ordained love.

That kind of love operates separate from feelings. It’s a love that is actually an act of the will. It’s a love that can’t be self-generated. It has to come from another source outside ourselves.

Because, y’know, in and of ourselves I simply don’t think we have the capacity for that kind of love, even though we’re to love all. 

Here’s my autobiographical note: This actually comes easy for me. It’s a capacity for love that God just has seen fit to give me, and I’m grateful for that. I can say without hesitation that, to the best of my knowledge and heart, I love everyone.

Which is NOT to say that I care to keep company with everyone. There are some people I’d just as soon see going as coming.

And, of course, there have been people who’ve hurt me. Maybe I’ve been mistreated.

What’s your response to that? Unless you’re a hermit (and some days that seems appealing – like my friend Becky Brown noted, “I could easily be a hermit, but God won’t let me”), you have had someone – or maybe multiple someone’s – wound your soul.

You’re gonna have to look hard to find benefit in that, right?

The benefit comes in how you respond to being mistreated.

Talk about self-revelatory! Hurt can teach you an awful lot about yourself.

So. Are you a grudge holder? Do you erupt in Jovian anger? Do you retreat just to sulk and brood? How about plotting revenge? Is that you?

Well, how about this in response to hurt: be kind. Love all.

Stay with me here, because I’m not being patronizing.

I will tell you that the world may not look favorably on you if your response to being mistreated is to be kind. That’s not the way things work, right?

Some of the kindest Christians I know have lived in a world that wasn’t so kind to them.

That is so intriguing. Not only does it fly in the face of conventional wisdom, it doesn’t even really make sense. That is not a typical response.

Yet there are those who have been through so much at the hands of others, and they love deeply. They still care.

Are there steps one can take to reach that state? Can you really love all? Even if others mistreated you?

I’m not sure. You don’t find it in our sinful, carnal nature. It has to come from a different place. I dunno. Some people relish unforgiveness. I’ve never known of a time when forgiveness was anything other than a virtue.

In giving this a lot of thought over the years – the reason why people choose not to forgive – I have come up with a handful of “why’s,” possible reasons why people cling to this unique misery of unforgiveness.

• They don’t understand mercy. Mercy is one of the most divine of all traits. We are simply thunderstruck by Jesus’ words from the Cross – “Father, forgive them, because they don’t know what they’re doing.” That’s mercy, right there, all encapsulated in a magnificent example of forgiveness.
• They prefer a hard heart to a tender one. Perhaps being tender hearted is viewed as weakness. I’d suggest that it’s a whole lot more courageous to be tenderhearted than it is to take a hard line.
• We are fallen people who live in a fallen world. It’s hard to to be kind when the whole of civilization seems to want us to be harsh and inappropriately aggressive. I see so much hatefulness everywhere I turn. This is not, nor will ever be, a “political” blog, but given the current state of things … I mean. Mama said “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Looking back, that might be a lot more wise (or certainly more kind) than I used to believe. What a toxic world! And don’t come at me with a statement like, “Jesus was controversial. Jesus was harsh. Jesus turned over tables and ran people out of the table.” C’mon, now. Really? Of course He did. But when your (or my) motivations are the same as Jesus’, we can use His tactics. Otherwise, it’s best that we stand down. This culture of outrage we have embraced doesn’t seem to help – all it does is make folks on the same side of an issue feel good (or empowered) about themselves. I don’t see many converts coming from rage.
• It’s simply easier to hold a grudge. It takes no effort. It feels good for a season. It makes you feel mighty and self-righteous. It feeds into that nature that says, “I’ll show you. I’m gonna hurt you back. And when I hurt you back, that’s gonna make me feel really, really good.”

“I can’t forgive,” you say. “I can’t be kind to him/her/them. They mistreated me.”

Here’s my bottom line for the day:

Sometimes, it’s the Christians who have been mistreated the most who refuse to be hardened in this world, because they would never want to make another person feel the same way they themselves have felt.

If that’s not something to be in awe of, I don’t know what it is. Love all.

Talk later.

• Part of it may be the joy of a “gotcha!” moment. As in, “I’ll point out how clueless other people are. That’ll be helpful.”
• Part of it is the old “preaching to the choir” mindset. It reminds those of like opinion that they are not alone. People enjoy having their posts “liked” and having folks agree with them.
• It might be that people post things to attempt to sway others to their viewpoint. There may be times when that actually worked, but I’d classify that as a miracle or exception.

• The 24-hour news cycle. You gotta fill that time with something if you’re a newscaster.
• Cable news in general. In the latter days of my mama’s life, she’d have CNN or Fox or something on the TV round the clock. I would absolutely lose my mind if I had to subject myself to that.
• Ease of acquiring information. I’m just a click away from having access to most anything.
• Tech devices. I am currently armed with my iPhone. I’m typing on a keyboard on my iPad. At our house, there are a half-dozen computers, laptops, tablets, etc. Am I in bondage to all this gee-whiz gadgetry? Are you? You decide.

• Restrict your intake of news. Again, this isn’t about being uninformed. It’s a matter of getting just enough to give you a sense of what’s going on around you. But to subject yourself to the same awful story over and over can’t be healthy. (* See note below.)
• Focus on the things you can actually do something about. If you aren’t happy with someone in office, say, then vote them out. In the United States, we have this really cool reset button. Vote in your guy or girl next time.
• If there are things you are exposed to that you can’t do anything about – move on. Don’t dwell on the “what if’s?” I heard a neat term used in counseling a while back: “Catastrophizing.” It’s irrationally looking to the worst possible outcome of any incident or circumstance. Mama called it “borrowing trouble.”
• Ask yourself: “Do I find satisfaction in learning of and exploiting someone else’s failures?” If that’s so, then “Why am I like that?” is a sensible next question.
• Find a cause that’s worth investing your life in and do it. Of course, serving God is the ultimate cause. But there may be other things that engage you.  If you’re passionate about animal rights, for instance, I think that’s terrific. Just don’t devalue people who aren’t as passionate as you. This comes under the category of “guarding your heart” because you’ll save yourself some frustration when you realize we all have things important to us. And those things don’t necessarily have to be the same.
• Restrict your “I’m right, therefore you’re wrong” impulses to a minimum. Who knows? Sometimes the other person might be right.
• There may be some people in your life that want to drag you down right along with them. Love them anyway. That gives you extraordinary power. But – choose, as best you can, how you interact with them.

I’m convinced that a huge chunk of our problems are caused by us being unable or unwilling to be quiet and still – to simply settle down.

Our default position in life is to be busy. We’re all busy, right? We have stuff that needs doing. We feel vaguely guilty if we aren’t doing something. We look at people who aren’t doing things and assume they’re lazy or unambitious.

Some even take pride in their busyness. It’s an issue of going to work, getting kids to places they need to be, voluntarily cramming days full of activity, and approaching life like a hummingbird in a hurricane. Gotta go. Gotta do. You can’t settle down.

Maybe this is a 21st century thing. Maybe it’s a uniquely western culture thing. Settle down? No way. There’s too much that needs doing. 

Here’s the question: do you take time to think? Do you self-evaluate? Do you work hard at being busy so that you purposely don’t have time to know who you are and what you should be not doing?

This is not the same as overthinking. (Tony raises his hand in acknowledgement of guilt.) No, this is simply saying “I need to settle down. I need to pause. I need to reconnect to Bigger Things. Busyness is not a virtue.”

Or, as the wise man said, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.”

Actually, this transcends good advice. It’s more like a command to settle down.

Psalm 46:10–11 (ESV): 10 “Be still, and know that I am God. 

      I will be exalted among the nations, 

      I will be exalted in the earth!” 

      11 The LORD of hosts is with us; 

      the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Why do we not hold “being still” as a virtue any more? Why do we have to work so hard at being busy?

I’ll ‘fess up to having an overactive mind. (At least I still have a mind. I’ve decided not many folks do … or at least they don’t use them much.) My mind races. Thoughts stumble over each other. Focus is elusive. I’d say that many folks simply live life frantically. 

You may have an active family – you’re always going somewhere, or taking someone somewhere. It may be that in relationships – friends, families, romantic partners, mates – you can’t find the time for each other you need. You may be overwhelmed at work, and it reduces you to bone-crushing fatigue. Even church stuff … I’m reminded of the Methodist lady who said, “I’d be a Baptist if I thought it wouldn’t ruin my health.” We’re supposed to participate in a lot of church activities, right? And don’t get me started on the constant demanding bombardment of media – social media, news media, the vortex that is the Internet, and all the rest. Your brain can take only so much.

I guess the tendency bred into us early on is the sense we should always be doing something. To not do something is to be idle. We can’t settle down. 

So, I’ll take us back to that little phrase from the Psalmist: Be still, and know that I am God. That doesn’t seem to be optional. It sounds like a command to me.

God wants you to settle down. 

Here’s how this can happen. And I understand that sometimes busyness isn’t a choice. What I’m talking about is elective time … those moments when you choose to be still. And I won’t launch into a rant about time management, that you make time for what’s important, that everyone has 24 hours, your life isn’t any more busy than anyone else’s. You know that already, and I don’t need to remind you. Time is the great leveler in life. Everyone gets the same ration.

So, choosing to settle down. Here are five thoughts.

1. Concentrate. This is about focus. This means when you have something that needs doing, you just do it. It’s being singleminded. It’s saying “for the next 25 minutes, I am not gonna let anything disturb my thought process.” That means no outside influences. And you may be thinking, “dude, I have toddlers.” I just bet that at some point they sleep. Or that you can get up before they do. This also means no multitasking. I don’t know who in the heck put that idea into our heads that we need to juggle a bunch of things at once. It doesn’t work. Concentrate on the task at hand. Focus, focus, focus. 
2. Meditate. This is all about spiritual focus. Jesus time, if you will. It, for instance, means grabbing a Bible passage, soaking in it, seeing God in it, and giving yourself time for it to take root. I personally don’t think you can achieve a true godly meditative state in five minutes, but it’s better than nothing.
3. Think. Gosh, y’all, this is so self-evident. How many times have we wounded ourselves because we did or said something without thinking? We were created to be emotional creatures, and that’s fine. But, so help me, believe this: while most decisions we make are ultimately rooted in how we feel, feelings are lousy when it comes to dictating choices or behavior. Settle down. Think. Then act.
4. Consider and pursue. This is Thinking, Part 2. Weigh options. Be open to counsel. Seek to have the Mind of Christ. Settle down, make the choice, and go for it, as in pursue the outcome. I can be indecisive with the best of ‘em, and I am prone to second guess, but ultimately, it’s putting your hand to the plow and not looking back.
5. Lie down in green pastures. I love that imagery from Psalm 23. Lie down. That’s taking “settle down” to the next level. I like to think of myself flat on my back, under the shade of the canopy of a tree, and yet still being able to see white clouds and blue skies. Just be still. Shhhh. Don’t disturb me. God may have something He wants me to hear, and I can’t hear if there’s a lot of racket going on.

Isaiah knew a little about this … check out Isaiah 30:15:

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,

    in quietness and trust is your strength,

    but you would have none of it.”

I don’t know why we would “have none of it.” Maybe we’re afraid of repentance, rest, quiet, and trust. I need to think about that a little more.

All this means is that there is an absolute necessity of rest. Relax. Settle down. Through this you gain strength, your mind is clearer, and you can face all of life’s crazy challenges supernaturally ready.

This: you just have to take time to think through what you’re facing in your life without overthinking. You can’t just go blasting through situations forlornly hoping things will improve. You have to be refreshed by God’s mercy, goodness, grace, and faithfulness – and you can’t do that if you’re running around. You have to settle down.

When you settle down, know that you will receive encouragement. You’ll be sweetly refreshed. You’ll be able to care for those you love without depleting your own reserves. God calls you to be still and know Him.

That’s your plan.

Talk later!

Find rest. Walk in God’s way and find Him.

Rest seems to be in short supply these days. There’s a splendid irony at work here. Even though the world has slowed down because of the pandemic, we are more internally unsettled than ever. We may still be busy, but there’s that uneasy churning in our soul that is taking its toll.

So rest is something we’d like to experience, right? Just a sense of peace, of settling down, of being free from the worry and angst of the world.

Since I’m speaking primarily to believers, you understand that God promises rest. Ancient script states in Matthew 11:28-30:

²⁸ “Come to me,all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

That’s good stuff right there. The promise of rest. So why the struggle many of us have?

Beats me. But I think a lot of it has to do with simple trust in God.

Here’s some good news about rest. Part of finding rest, experiencing rest, comes with the realization that no evil can touch you.

That does not mean, of course, that you will ever be freed from the presence of evil.  We live in a fallen world, right? So evil abounds.

But evil will not harm you in the strictest sense. It can certainly influence you, but when it comes to eternity – and that’s what I’m talking about – it will not cause you to lose your reward.

You will suffer in this world. You’ll deal with illness and loss. Bad things will happen. Evil things, even. But they can’t touch that  part of  you that belongs to God.

I’m not advocating denial here. I am advocating rest coming from knowing you are His, and He is yours. That’s a pretty secure place to be in. That is an opportunity for finding rest.

Rest means not to struggle.

Consider that. Struggle is the antithesis of rest. When you’re fighting, you aren’t resting. You’re on alert, you’re all wound up, and you’re a bundle of tension.

I wonder if part of our struggles are imposed by the world. Does the word “overwhelmed” resonate with you? Feel like you’re fighting something all the time?

Here’s where that line of thinking will invariably lead. You’ll find yourself struggling, fretting, and feeling swamped by life itself. Worse, there may be a sense you’re all alone in your struggles. Awful. You can’t find rest.

That loneliness comes from a sense that no one can really understand what you’re facing. Actually, that’s true. While some people can empathize, no one will ever totally get it because you are unique in every way. That’s not a bad thing.

I don’t have a magic formula for finding rest for you, or really even showing you how to find rest. So let’s just stick  to basics, shall we?

God alone has perfect understanding of you. He understands you even when you don’t understand you. Crazy, right?

When you need perfect understanding, that’s where you go.

When you need the awareness of a perfect, loving, tender relationship, that’s really your only option.

So. For those days when you’re overwhelmed, when rest seems like a fantasy, and you want to say to the world “Please understand me!”, here’s the good news.

Someone does.

Be well.

Tony’s question: Would you share with the rest of us what YOU do to experience the peace and rest only God can give? Leave your comments below, and don’t forget to share with your friends.