I thought of a name for my autobiography, if I ever decide to write it: Well, That Didn’t Work.

My life is full of things that didn’t go the way I’d wanted or planned. Some incidents I’d drop in that file marked “It’s Just a Thing.” Another file would be marked, “What Were You Thinking?” And, unfortunately, one file would be marked “You Blew It.”

That third file would be full of unpleasant accounts.

I’m prone to be unduly hard on myself. Can I get an “amen?”

I’m learning, though, that all my past mistakes, those moments of weakness, are redeemable. Check this out.

The scene is the Garden of Gethsemane—a pivotal moment not just in biblical history, but as a metaphor for our own spiritual journeys. Picture it: the disciples, those closest to Jesus, succumbed to human weakness, dozing off when they were needed most. When they woke, imagine the weight of their regret, the sinking feeling of having missed a crucial moment to support their friend and teacher. It’s a scenario many of us can relate to on a personal level.

This story isn’t just about physical sleep; it’s about moments of spiritual slumber, times when we’ve been absent when it mattered most—missed opportunities to stand by someone, to make a difference, or to take a step of faith. And like the disciples, we often wake up to a harsh self-judgment: “How could I have let that happen?” We beat ourselves up, thinking it’s all over, that we’ve blown it for good.

But here’s the twist: despair isn’t an anomaly; it’s part of the human experience. It’s as common as the cold, and just as unwelcome. Yet, it’s in these moments of despair that Jesus steps in with a message that’s both startling and soothing. He essentially tells us, “Okay, you missed that one. But let’s not dwell on it. There’s more ahead.”

I like the concept of leaving our past failures in the “sweet embrace of Christ.” It’s about allowing ourselves to move on, not ignoring our mistakes, but not letting them anchor us in place either. Jesus’s approach is not one of dismissal but of gentle redirection: “Get up, and do the next thing.”

And what is this “next thing”? It’s moving forward with trust and faith in Him, praying and acting from a place of redemption, not regret. The best thing we could do is shift our focus from what we’ve done wrong to what we can do right, starting now.

This message is incredibly relevant for all of us. How often do we find ourselves paralyzed by past missteps? How frequently do we let the fear of failure stop us from stepping out again? Yet, here we’re reminded that our past doesn’t have to dictate our future. Our spiritual journey is not defined by how many times we’ve fallen, but by how many times we get up—and who we’re walking with.

Want some encouragement? The message is clear: there’s always a next step, a new chapter waiting to be written with God by our side.

So, let’s take this advice to heart. Let’s not let the sense of past failure defeat our next step. Instead, let’s lean into the “invincible future” with Jesus, trusting in His redemption, and always ready to do the next thing.

Until next time, keep walking in faith and light, embracing each new day and opportunity with the joy and assurance that comes from knowing He’s got us, every step of the way.

I was a repulsively good kid growing up. I don’t think I would have been classified as a “goody goody” – does that term even exist anymore? – but I just didn’t get in that much trouble. As an only child, I was pretty spoiled, and I didn’t want to mess with the good deal I had. 

Still, I had spectacular failures. I’ll not share those because they’re none of your business, and we don’t know each other that well. On one occasion, Mama laid on me the title of this article: “Michael Anthony Martin, you should be ashamed of yourself.” It’s always bad when parents call you by your whole name. 

So – being ashamed. I think there was a time when Southerners had the capacity to be ashamed because of something we did or said, but that may be a lost ideal. 

In our modern world, the concept of shame often gets a bad rap. It’s seen as an outdated, negative emotion, something to be avoided at all costs. But have we, in our quest to be free of discomfort, lost sight of the transformative power of shame? As Christians, we understand that shame, when understood and approached correctly, can be a catalyst for positive change.

The Lost Art of Feeling Ashamed

In a society that champions the mantra of “doing what feels right,” the idea of feeling ashamed for our actions seems almost archaic. We live in a world where personal truth often overrides absolute Truth, and the notion of feeling embarrassed by our negative behaviors is increasingly rare. But is this lack of shame a sign of progress or a warning of lost moral compass?

Shame in the Biblical Context

The Bible doesn’t shy away from discussing shame. In fact, it’s often presented as a natural response to sin and wrongdoing. Proverbs 14:34 reminds us, “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.” This reproach, or shame, is not meant to be a permanent state but a moment of realization, a turning point.

The Role of Shame

Shame’s true role is not to condemn but to convict. It’s like a mirror, reflecting back our imperfections, not to discourage us but to encourage us to seek better. In 2 Corinthians 7:10, Paul talks about godly sorrow leading to repentance: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” This distinction is crucial. Godly sorrow, or shame, should lead us to a place of positive change.

Moving from Guilt to Grace

Feeling shame for our negative thoughts and behaviors is a starting point, not the end. It’s where grace enters the picture. Ephesians 2:8 reminds us, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Grace doesn’t negate the need for shame; rather, it provides the means for moving beyond it.

Practical Steps to Growth

• Acknowledgment: Admitting our faults is the first step towards change.
• Seeking Forgiveness: This involves both asking God for forgiveness and seeking to mend our relationships with those we’ve wronged.
• Learning and Growing: Use your experiences of shame as lessons for personal growth.
• Resting in God’s Grace: Remember that your identity is not in your failures but in Christ.

Encouragement for the Journey

The journey from guilt to growth is not a solitary one. We’re reminded in Galatians 6:2 to “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Let’s not shun the feeling of shame, but use it as a tool for growth, encouragement, and positive change.

Have we lost the ability to feel ashamed? Perhaps in some ways, we have. But as Christians, we have the unique opportunity to reclaim shame as a step towards redemption and growth. It’s not about wallowing in guilt but about embracing the journey from conviction to grace. Let’s walk this path together, encouraged and ready to grow into the people God intends us to be.

I love the Bible. Some folks struggle to read it. Me, I eat it up.

It hasn’t always been that way. I’d say, “Okay, Tony, you’re gonna read the Bible all the way through this year.” Out of a sense of obligation – sort of like taking a daily dose of cholesterol medicine or something – I’d start reading.

Genesis was great. There are so many good stories and colorful characters in that book! So I’d breeze through Genesis, feeling pretty good about myself.

Exodus was next and, again, there were plenty of compelling stories to engage me.

Next – Leviticus. This is where I’d finally miss a couple of days reading, then maybe a week, and ultimately – I’d gradually cave and forget about my plan. Leviticus, right? Whew.

Later in life, though, the Bible took on a life of its own. I’m sitting here trying to remember the progression, what brought me to a point of being utterly dependent on my reading, but something triggered my passion. Part of it might’ve been finding a good reading plan (or more.) It may have been looking at my reading as a joy instead of an obligation. Who knows?

Couple that with filing a shelf with study Bibles. I’m a seminary graduate, but my degree is in religious education, so I didn’t have to study languages … Greek and Hebrew. While the theology majors were doing their thing, we education students were learning how to divide people into groups and how to use scissors.

I digress. Study Bibles – that’s where I can at least partially make up for my lack of language studies. Plus, a good study Bible makes scripture accessible and easier to understand. A good study Bible inspires and equips.

Recently I was given the opportunity to receive a free copy of the NIV Study Bible, published by Zondervan. I got this as a member of the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid. Bible Gateway is the Internet’s most visited Christian website. Good folks; highly recommended! Check out their store at https://bit.ly/3ZOM2DM. While you’re at it, visit the Amazon page for the Bible at https://amzn.to/3lhifos.

The Bible, according to the cover copy, “is specifically designed to help students understand and navigate the Bible text with tools like a 3-Track Reading Plan, Book Introductions, Highlights and insights into confusing verses, and personal profiles of 100 People You Should know.”

This Bible delivers the goods. It’s geared toward students, but the more I delved into it, the more I realized that restricting it to simply an audience of “students” does the rest of us a disservice. I’ll use this one in my own studies. It’s that helpful.

A few things of note:

The 3-Track Reading Plan is a terrific way to develop a love for scriptures at whatever level you want to invest in. Track 1, for instance, asks for a commitment of two weeks at a time, reading a chapter a day. It’s sort of a “greatest hits” plan. Tracks 2 and 3 get progressively deeper, with Track 3 asking for a commitment to read every word in the Bible over a three-year period. All the tracks do a fine job of battling overwhelm and discouragement.

Other unique features include accessible introductions to each book, insights scattered throughout the text that are written like magazine articles, and notes that parallel the Track 2 reading plan.

Want more? I loved the reference section covering a host of well-known events. If you’re prone to get bogged down in the Old Testament when trying to follow and connect rulers – 38 kings and a queen – there’s a section that breaks this down in one of the most understandable ways I could imagine. There is also a Subject Guide, not really a concordance, but rather a list of major subjects of interest, along with the appropriate Bible passages. This is some good stuff.

There are plenty of other features to delve into, and you can go to the links I shared earlier to get details.

My takeaway? For students – whoever self-identifies as such – I think this is one of the best Bibles out there. I hope they sell a boatload of these. I’d love to see it in as many hands as possible.

Talk soon!

#BibleGatewayPartner

Perseverance. Hanging in there.

We need to talk about perseverance. I’d contend that a lot of the problems and issues we face are due to simply giving up too soon. We got tired, or distracted, or listened to our inner demons.

Our lives are made up of a series of adversities, obstacles, and setbacks. Perseverance means we are to persist in the face of hard times and keep working toward a goal, whatever it is. 

Let’s break this perseverance thing down. What keeps us from persevering and giving up too early? Here are three barriers. I’m sure there are more. 

Fear. Fear can take all sorts of forms, but sometimes we’re simply afraid that life is too hard. So we pivot away from what we know we should be doing, and take the proverbial path of least resistance. We could also talk about a fear of failure – I mean, who actually likes to fail?

Doubt. We might look at the times historically when we’ve messed up and we then convince ourselves that we aren’t going to be any better. We don’t persevere, because we’ve failed before. Why should this time be any different?

Disappointment. I don’t particularly like being beat up over and over again. It makes me tired. Perseverance would ask me to keep trying. I don’t want to try if it isn’t going to make any difference. I convince myself that there is a virtue in giving up, because it helps me avoid any more hurt.

Perseverance isn’t a trait that comes naturally for me, for those three reasons. Your list of reasons might be different. 

Still, I know that I could solve myself a lot of grief if I didn’t fold so easily. I’ll admit that what I’m sharing isn’t something I can personally testify to. Blind leading the blind? Maybe. I hope I can help you and me both. 

It might be helpful if we took a look at some role models, some people who displayed perseverance. You probably know most of them. I’d contend they are just like us; the difference is that they hung in there. This is pretty inspiring:

Abraham Lincoln: Lincoln faced numerous setbacks and failures throughout his life, including losing eight elections, two business failures, and the death of his son. He persevered and eventually became the President of the United States, leading the country through the Civil War.

Martin Luther King Jr.: Of course, Martin Luther King Jr. was a key figure in the American Civil Rights Movement in the 1950s and 1960s. He faced many obstacles, including arrests, physical attacks, and death threats, but he persevered and played a pivotal role in the fight for racial equality.

Thomas Edison: Edison is known for his perseverance and determination. He conducted thousands of experiments in his quest to invent the light bulb, and is said to have failed over 10,000 times before finally succeeding. His perseverance led to the development of the first practical incandescent light bulb, which changed the world forever.

J.K. Rowling: J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, persevered through many rejections before finally getting her book published. Her perseverance led to the creation of one of the most beloved and successful book series in history.

Malala Yousafzai: Malala Yousafzai is a young activist who persevered through the Taliban’s attempts to silence her and her message advocating for girls’ education. Despite being shot in the head by the Taliban, Malala recovered and continued her activism, becoming the youngest Nobel Prize laureate in history.

Marie Curie: The first woman to win a Nobel Prize, Marie Curie faced many obstacles throughout her life. She had to overcome poverty, discrimination, and the loss of her husband, Pierre Curie, but her perseverance and determination led her to make groundbreaking discoveries in the field of physics and chemistry, including the discovery of the elements radium and polonium.

I know what you’re thinking: These folks were superstars. I’m nowhere close to showing that level of success.They had big goals, for sure. But perseverance can help in small ways, which should be a big personal deal: for example, learning a new skill, getting through difficult times, or reaching a specific target.

It might just be that the only real difference in them and you is that they persevered. Can you “learn” perseverance?

I think you can. Here are six real benefits:

1. Achieving goals: Perseverance is essential for achieving goals, whether they are personal or professional. When individuals persevere through difficulties, they increase their chances of success. With perseverance, we are better equipped to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.
2. Developing resilience: Perseverance helps us develop resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. When we persevere through difficult times, they become stronger and more capable of handling future challenges.
3. Developing a growth mindset: Perseverance is also closely linked to having a growth mindset, the belief that one’s abilities can be developed through hard work and effort. When we persevere, we learn that they can improve their abilities and achieve more than they initially thought possible.
4. Building self-efficacy: Perseverance helps us build self-efficacy, the belief that we can accomplish what we set out to do. When we persevere through challenges and achieve our goals, we develop a sense of self-efficacy that can help us tackle future challenges with greater confidence.
5. Improving problem-solving skills: Perseverance can help us improve our problem-solving skills by encouraging us to come up with new solutions to problems and to keep trying until we find the right one. This can help us become better equipped to handle challenges in the future.
6. Enhancing mental and physical well-being: Perseverance can also have a positive impact on mental and physical well-being. When we persevere through difficult times, we tend to feel more satisfied and fulfilled, which can lead to a greater sense of well-being. Additionally, when we persevere through physical challenges, we can improve their physical fitness and health.

Good, self-evident stuff there, right?  Let’s make this perseverance thing practical. 

Again, I’m sharing from a place I haven’t arrived at yet. Goals, right?

Perseverance is a trait that can be developed and strengthened over time. Here are a few ways to learn to persevere:

1. Set challenging but achievable goals: Setting challenging goals for yourself can help you develop perseverance. Make sure the goals you set are achievable, but also require effort and determination to reach.
2. Embrace failure: Failure is a natural part of the learning process and should be embraced as an opportunity to learn and grow. Instead of getting discouraged by failure, use it as motivation to keep going and try again.
3. Break down big goals into smaller steps: Breaking down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps can make them seem less daunting. This can help you stay focused and motivated as you work towards achieving your goal.
4. Learn from role models: Look to role models who have demonstrated perseverance in their own lives. Study their experiences and learn from their strategies for overcoming obstacles and achieving success. I gave you a good starter list.
5. Stay positive: Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial for persevering through difficult times. Try to focus on the progress you’ve made and the positive aspects of the situation, rather than dwelling on the negative.
6. Develop a support system: Surround yourself with people who will support and encourage you. Having a support system can help you stay motivated and on track when things get tough.
7. Look to Jesus: He was the Son of God, but He didn’t waver from His task. I truly believe that there were times when, in the flesh, He could have turned back. He didn’t. 

It’s worth mentioning that perseverance is not about being stubborn or insisting on doing something even if it is not the best option, it’s about being persistent and determined to achieve a goal or overcome a challenge, while being open to change and adapt when necessary. Additionally, it’s important to know when to take a break and recharge.

Hang in there. Perseverance. We can do this.

These are challenging days – at least when it comes to being real. Just be real.

I love, love, love hearing people’s stories, seeing their photos, and sharing in their triumphs and their heartaches.

That’s just me, that’s how I’m hardwired, and I have learned not to apologize for who I am. If you want to talk to me about the weather, I’ll engage you and mostly enjoy that conversation … for a little while. It won’t be long before I’m ready to move on to more substantive things.

Now, if you want to talk about the origin of the universe, or the worst argument you ever had with your dad, or how you got that diamond-shaped scar on your forearm, or how your ancestors got to America, or what keeps you awake at night … if you want to talk to me about your hopes, dreams, and aspirations … I am right there with you. I want you to just be real with me.

The students I’ve worked with over the years have joked about “Tony and his deep, meaningful conversations.”

(Don’t infer from all this that I won’t engage you in any topic you’d like to discuss. I’ll be polite and you’ll never know the difference. But I can only pretend I’m fascinated for so long.)

It’s all about being real. Just be real.

Don’t try to hide from who you really are. You can fool others sometimes (but you aren’t as good as that as you think. People see right through you … they just don’t bother making a big deal out of it.) You can fool yourself even more frequently (and in its fully-developed state, it’s called delusion). You never fool God, of course.

Point is, don’t try to hide yourself from you or anyone else. Just be real. Be authentic.

Authenticity means that you embrace the you nobody knows.

Which means that that hidden you needs to admit some things to the conscious you.

Social media allows you to present whatever heavily-edited version of yourself to the world you want, and the world may be none the wiser. That guy you met on Instagram who is an investment banker? He might very well be a Sherpa in Tibet. You might never know the difference.

With all that said, let me give you four paradoxical thoughts. These might bring about a check in your spirit. These are about knowing who you are and what you should do to  nurture your lean soul. It’ll help you to just be real.

1. Be confused. It’s how God teaches you new things. Ask the hard questions, even those you know can’t be answered. Bewilderment, by its nature, seeks its own clarity. And God can use those hard, unanswerable questions to teach you truths you can’t learn any other way. It’s those “why?” questions shouted to the heavens that give God free reign to work.
2. Be broken. It’s where God begins to heal. I’ve heard people actually pray, “God, break me!” That’s a gutsy prayer, and ill-advised if you don’t mean business. Brokenness gives God a chance to put together something better than the original. Unfortunately, when folks pray “God, break me,” they’d really prefer that God break them in some glorious, ennobling way. Martyrdom, right? Sometimes God doesn’t go with noble brokenness. He can break us in shattering, messy, horrific ways if it serves His purpose. That’s uncomfortable theology, but it’s true. Bet you don’t hear that much from your local pulpit!
3. Be frustrated. It’s here God leads you to make more authentic decisions. Hey, I’ve prayed these exact words: “God. You gotta be kidding me!” That’s usually in response to something, some occurrence, that makes me want to go out in the street and pound my head on asphalt. It’s being faced with a challenging (or even awful) situation and being blocked in every direction when trying to fix it. It’s praying in earnest and having the sense that God is looking down from His throne and saying, “How’s that praying stuff working out for ya?” And then – glory be! – your frustration leads you to another level of dependence and you make the wise decision. You realize that, even in the midst of God’s silence, He never left you. That only happens when you turn your back on your own resources and admit you are helpless. Just be real.
4. Be sad, because if we’re brave enough, we can hear God’s wisdom through it. I’d prefer to be happy and not sad. Duh. It feels better. At the same time, I know that in order to be complete as a human and as a believer, I have to embrace the whole gamut of emotions. We were made to be “feeling” creatures. Sadness is part of the whole human experience. Your sadness should not be wasted. God may just teach more profound truths when we’re broken-hearted than when we’re happy. We tend to turn to Him more when we’re hurting than when things are going our way. It takes some real courage to accept the fact that, when we’re sad, God has much fuller access to our hearts.

So, whatever you are right now, no more hiding. God says you’re worthy. Always.

The things the Enemy would use to disrupt, derail, and destroy your life are the very things God will use to draw you closer to Himself and use to equip you to help others.

Your trials and tests will become a testimony to God’s faithfulness, healing, and overcoming power. Your life will be a testimony that will bring hope and encouragement to others.

Just be real.

John Maxwell says, “Leadership is influence,” and that’s what spurred me on to today’s blog, because you make a difference whether you mean to or not.

My blog is all about encouragement, being hopeful, and keeping your head high in chaos. Maybe your primary concern is just getting through the day. That’s a big deal, you know? Many people barely squeak by in the course of 24 hours. Their daily lives are a slog.

Perhaps, then, being an influencer is way down on your list of priorities. Finding your keys may be your biggest accomplishment for the day.

However. You make a difference whether you mean to or not. It all depends on how you want to make a difference.

Do you want to be purposeful and make a difference, or do you want to be random?

Because the choices you make, small or large, can and do make a mark in your corner of the world.

I’d like to illustrate this with a little history lesson.

I am a product of the South. I am not ashamed of that. My “southernness” is a huge component of who I am. But I am not an apologist for the Confederate States of America. Both of my great-grandfathers fought for the Confederacy. While that may seem reprehensible to many today, please understand – we cannot discern the mindset or prevailing culture of our ancestors, nor should we interpret what happened in 1861 through the sensibilities and hindsight of 2019. We don’t know what we would have done back then if that was all we knew.

That, by the way, is why I am secretly amused when people talk about being “on the right side of history.” How can you know that? The Third Reich thought it was on the right side of history, too. I’m wondering if our descendents will look back on these days and ask, “What the heck were they thinking?” But I digress.

I’ve been a War Between the States buff for decades. I’m pretty well-versed in that part of our history, and I can carry on a decent conversation about battles and politics and leaders of that era. That fratricidal war can make a difference even today.

There is a Union officer I want to make you familiar with. He is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain of the 20th Maine.

Ever heard of the Battle of Gettysburg? It was a pretty big deal. Chamberlain was responsible for repulsing the Confederate advance on Little Round Top, a key geographical position on the high ground of the battlefield.

By all accounts, this event turned the tide of the battle. Short on ammunition, Chamberlain employed a bayonet charge against a much superior force. (I have a link for you to check out. Humor me – it’s a compelling story, even if you aren’t a history buff.)

Chamberlain said, “I had, deep within me, the inability to do nothing.”

Read that again.

I had, deep within me, the inability do do nothing.

Still here? Consider this.

Andy Andrews says, “Historians have discovered that, had Chamberlain not charged that day, the South would have won at Gettysburg. If the South had won at Gettysburg, historians say, the South would have won the war. Now, I had always thought that if the South had won, we would be the North and South, but historians say that had the South won, we would now have a continent that looks more like Europe, fragmented into nine to thirteen countries.

“Which means that, had Chamberlain not charged, when Hitler swept across Europe in the 1940’s, the United States of America wouldn’t have existed to stand in the breach. When Hirohito  systematically invaded the islands of the South Pacific, there would not have existed a country big enough, powerful enough, strong, populous, and wealthy enough to fight and win two wars on two fronts at the same time. The United States of America exists today because of one man who made a decision to charge. One man decided he was a person of action.”

This haunts me.

Part of it has to do with something of a certain self-centeredness I deal with. It’s that “looking out for number 1” philosophy. Self-care is important, but not to the extent that you forget about others.

There are needs all around you. You ever, providentially, wonder if you are the one to meet those needs? Think you can make a difference?

I wonder if Chamberlain ever looked back at the battle for Little Round Top and fully understood what a difference his choice of a bayonet charge made, not only at Gettysburg, but on the outcome of the war itself.

You may not ever lead others in battle, at least in the military sense. There is a battle raging all around you all the time, even if you aren’t aware of it.

It may be that one of the best way you can be encouraged and embrace hope is to act directly on the things you can do something about. It’s getting out of yourself and looking at the higher cause.

At best, you may be able to encourage someone else, help them have hope in what seems to be a hopeless situation.

I can imagine the Union troops looked at the advancing Confederates and wondered, “What are we to do?” And their commanding officer gives some very unconventional orders. It paid off.

I guess what I want you to understand is this:

Act.

Don’t allow yourself to be paralyzed. Take action. The longer you brood and worry, the harder it will be to do something.

Don’t be Tony on a bad day. Tony’s bad days dictate that I spend all my time trying to figure things out. Be faithful to what you know you need to do. It will make a difference in the lives of others … and you.

I’m convinced that a huge chunk of our problems are caused by us being unable or unwilling to be quiet and still – to simply settle down.

Our default position in life is to be busy. We’re all busy, right? We have stuff that needs doing. We feel vaguely guilty if we aren’t doing something. We look at people who aren’t doing things and assume they’re lazy or unambitious.

Some even take pride in their busyness. It’s an issue of going to work, getting kids to places they need to be, voluntarily cramming days full of activity, and approaching life like a hummingbird in a hurricane. Gotta go. Gotta do. You can’t settle down.

Maybe this is a 21st century thing. Maybe it’s a uniquely western culture thing. Settle down? No way. There’s too much that needs doing. 

Here’s the question: do you take time to think? Do you self-evaluate? Do you work hard at being busy so that you purposely don’t have time to know who you are and what you should be not doing?

This is not the same as overthinking. (Tony raises his hand in acknowledgement of guilt.) No, this is simply saying “I need to settle down. I need to pause. I need to reconnect to Bigger Things. Busyness is not a virtue.”

Or, as the wise man said, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.”

Actually, this transcends good advice. It’s more like a command to settle down.

Psalm 46:10–11 (ESV): 10 “Be still, and know that I am God. 

      I will be exalted among the nations, 

      I will be exalted in the earth!” 

      11 The LORD of hosts is with us; 

      the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Why do we not hold “being still” as a virtue any more? Why do we have to work so hard at being busy?

I’ll ‘fess up to having an overactive mind. (At least I still have a mind. I’ve decided not many folks do … or at least they don’t use them much.) My mind races. Thoughts stumble over each other. Focus is elusive. I’d say that many folks simply live life frantically. 

You may have an active family – you’re always going somewhere, or taking someone somewhere. It may be that in relationships – friends, families, romantic partners, mates – you can’t find the time for each other you need. You may be overwhelmed at work, and it reduces you to bone-crushing fatigue. Even church stuff … I’m reminded of the Methodist lady who said, “I’d be a Baptist if I thought it wouldn’t ruin my health.” We’re supposed to participate in a lot of church activities, right? And don’t get me started on the constant demanding bombardment of media – social media, news media, the vortex that is the Internet, and all the rest. Your brain can take only so much.

I guess the tendency bred into us early on is the sense we should always be doing something. To not do something is to be idle. We can’t settle down. 

So, I’ll take us back to that little phrase from the Psalmist: Be still, and know that I am God. That doesn’t seem to be optional. It sounds like a command to me.

God wants you to settle down. 

Here’s how this can happen. And I understand that sometimes busyness isn’t a choice. What I’m talking about is elective time … those moments when you choose to be still. And I won’t launch into a rant about time management, that you make time for what’s important, that everyone has 24 hours, your life isn’t any more busy than anyone else’s. You know that already, and I don’t need to remind you. Time is the great leveler in life. Everyone gets the same ration.

So, choosing to settle down. Here are five thoughts.

1. Concentrate. This is about focus. This means when you have something that needs doing, you just do it. It’s being singleminded. It’s saying “for the next 25 minutes, I am not gonna let anything disturb my thought process.” That means no outside influences. And you may be thinking, “dude, I have toddlers.” I just bet that at some point they sleep. Or that you can get up before they do. This also means no multitasking. I don’t know who in the heck put that idea into our heads that we need to juggle a bunch of things at once. It doesn’t work. Concentrate on the task at hand. Focus, focus, focus. 
2. Meditate. This is all about spiritual focus. Jesus time, if you will. It, for instance, means grabbing a Bible passage, soaking in it, seeing God in it, and giving yourself time for it to take root. I personally don’t think you can achieve a true godly meditative state in five minutes, but it’s better than nothing.
3. Think. Gosh, y’all, this is so self-evident. How many times have we wounded ourselves because we did or said something without thinking? We were created to be emotional creatures, and that’s fine. But, so help me, believe this: while most decisions we make are ultimately rooted in how we feel, feelings are lousy when it comes to dictating choices or behavior. Settle down. Think. Then act.
4. Consider and pursue. This is Thinking, Part 2. Weigh options. Be open to counsel. Seek to have the Mind of Christ. Settle down, make the choice, and go for it, as in pursue the outcome. I can be indecisive with the best of ‘em, and I am prone to second guess, but ultimately, it’s putting your hand to the plow and not looking back.
5. Lie down in green pastures. I love that imagery from Psalm 23. Lie down. That’s taking “settle down” to the next level. I like to think of myself flat on my back, under the shade of the canopy of a tree, and yet still being able to see white clouds and blue skies. Just be still. Shhhh. Don’t disturb me. God may have something He wants me to hear, and I can’t hear if there’s a lot of racket going on.

Isaiah knew a little about this … check out Isaiah 30:15:

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,

    in quietness and trust is your strength,

    but you would have none of it.”

I don’t know why we would “have none of it.” Maybe we’re afraid of repentance, rest, quiet, and trust. I need to think about that a little more.

All this means is that there is an absolute necessity of rest. Relax. Settle down. Through this you gain strength, your mind is clearer, and you can face all of life’s crazy challenges supernaturally ready.

This: you just have to take time to think through what you’re facing in your life without overthinking. You can’t just go blasting through situations forlornly hoping things will improve. You have to be refreshed by God’s mercy, goodness, grace, and faithfulness – and you can’t do that if you’re running around. You have to settle down.

When you settle down, know that you will receive encouragement. You’ll be sweetly refreshed. You’ll be able to care for those you love without depleting your own reserves. God calls you to be still and know Him.

That’s your plan.

Talk later!

Do you have any fake relationships? Let me explain.

I know lots of people. Actually, it seems that a lot of people know me, and I don’t know them. Part of it is the nature of my job; I’m all over the state, frequently in lots of churches, and have met tons of students and adults over the years. So when I run up on someone who says “Hey, Tony!” I just roll with it. Or I’ll be honest and say, “Hey! But I’m gonna need a little help here.” Most folks are gracious and understanding.

But the fake relationship thing. That’s touchy.

It’s touchy because there are some people I love being around. I just got back from a visit to Metro Vancouver/Maple Ridge, British Columbia. Those are some forevermore special friends up there. For an introvert, I was over-the-top chatty and engaged with them. It was balm for my soul, and I miss them already. And there are plenty of folks stateside that I love to be around, too.

Others make me cringe. It’s those folks I see in the grocery store from a distance, and I want to abandon my buggy in the aisle and head for the door. It’s that person that I know who wants to chat me up for an hour without saying anything. Then there are those clingy folks, and that friend from college I haven’t heard from in ages who wants to share a business opportunity with me. 

And sometimes it might even be that really good friend who wants something from me I can’t give. That’s not a fake relationship, but it’s one that sometimes, briefly, I just can’t accommodate. 

In church work, it’s that standard “How ya doing?” question, with my response, “I’m doing just fine.”

It’s “just fine” because I’m just not in a place where I can engage, and truthfully, we ask that question not wanting much more than “I’m fine. And you?” The next response is “I’m fine, too.” That’s the bizarre little conversational dance we find ourselves in.

This isn’t a bad thing, and it can be foundational to more conversation, but fact is I/we can be nice without being honest. 

It may be that pretending to care (God help me – I may sometimes be guilty of that!) or to pretend to be someone else for a few moments is easier than investing in another person. Well, there’s your fake relationships right there. Surface level relationships drain me so bad. I can do small talk for a while, and be pretty convincing, but at some point, we gotta go deeper or go home.

My burdensome realization? We just aren’t made for bogus, fake relationships.

God isn’t particularly interested in our reputations. He calls for blatant authenticity. We’re supposed to be relational (and if I’m invested in you, I’m all in. Maybe that’s a good thing. I want to believe it is, even when it drains me.)

The personally sobering fact is that we are all created for authentic relationships that help us connect with others. And for someone who can be pretty content with hanging out with myself and Jesus, to the semi-exclusion of those around me – this is a challenge. I ain’t gonna lie. 

But – and this is a big but – I never, ever intend to be that fake friend. I’m either real or I’m not. I love everyone, and that’s the unvarnished truth. My friend group is pretty limited, but I do well with folks outside of it. For a while, at least – then I’ll need to go lay down and recharge.

I do understand, though, that my nature can cripple relationships with those around me. So, in order to escape the trap of fake relationships, there are some steps I can take. Here are three:

1. When we aren’t open and even a bit vulnerable, we can lose sight of grace. If I pretend to have it all together and be the life of the party, I can disengage from my group and can forget who I am in Jesus. It takes a lot of unhealthy effort to pretend to be something we aren’t. We can forget that we’re God’s children, and we don’t need to perform or pretend for Him. It’s not like we need to parade our goodness before Him, or convince Him that our lives are Instagram perfect. We forget grace; He’s accepting of us no matter what we do or what we think. Lose sight of grace, and you’re gonna be one hurtin’ puppy.
2. If we aren’t vulnerable, it’s hard to have friendships that are blessed. This vulnerability thing – in my case, I’m not going to let you know anything meaningful about me, or I’m going to puke all over you and possibly give you more reality than you can handle. Lord have mercy, how hard it is to find that sweet spot balance! But shallow friendships aren’t much fun, over the long haul. I mean – if we can’t share some hurt with our friends, how can we share in the joys? If you look at Jesus, He was the real deal with everyone – friends, disciples, family, Pharisees, the Romans. He was authentic. So if authenticity makes us more like Jesus, maybe that’s a virtue worth cultivating.
3. When we’re not vulnerable, we just can’t love others like we should. That’s fertile ground for some fake relationships. I don’t know if you’re a people-pleaser – I’ll cop to having those tendencies, but not as much as I did when I was younger – but trying to live up to others’ expectations is going to make you really tired. Furthermore, people-pleasing isn’t loving the other person. If you love someone, you want the best for them. It follows that since we’re screwed-up humans, what we want is often not what we need. If we’re going to love appropriately, we can’t be controlled by their opinions. When we’re honest with our friends and families, we have more freedom to love them because we aren’t wasting our energy trying to present ourselves as someone or something we aren’t.

The unpleasant reality is that we may have some fake relationships. To make those relationships authentic can be hard. 

If we can be honest and real without being needy or manipulative, then we are well down the road to authenticity, and fake relationships won’t have to be the norm. We can more effectively follow Jesus and love people even better. 

Having an authentic relationship with Jesus can make us more like Him, and it’s so worth it.

Talk later!

I don’t have many friends.

I’m not sure how you might interpret that … do you feel sorry for me? Do you identify with me? Is this so alien a thought that you think I should get some professional help?

Don’t feel sorry for me. It’s not like I have no friends. I do have some. Just not many.

I don’t have many friends because I couldn’t handle too many. I believe I have a capacity for real love. I am always telling myself to “love appropriately.”

Part of my temperament (4w5, Enneagram fans) is that I’ve always been insular. If I let you into my life, and if you are my friend, then, for better or worse, I’m all in. What a blessing! What a curse! I scary love my friends. That means I have to set boundaries to keep from depleting my soul. That means, too, that God has to often intervene in my friendships, or else I’ll try to give of myself when I’m all spent. Not good. And, overthinker that I am, I do often wonder, “Tony. Dude. Are you handling this relationship as you should?” Because if I don’t guard myself, I’m just really sure I get on people’s nerves, and to be at fault of ruining a lovely relationship. Dang. That thought terrifies me. (See 1 and 2, below.)

So I’m gonna invest myself in just a few. I love everybody with no reservations, but there aren’t that many I can go the full distance with. I hope you understand that. I’m okay if you don’t.

I don’t necessarily think in terms of “what I’m looking for” in a friend, but I do have things that I value.

Let me share 10 traits I value in my friends.

I’d like for this to be interactive. I’d love for you to share yours with the rest of us in the comment section below.

These are in no particular order.

1. Availability. I’m thinking about that 3 a.m. friend, that if I were in a real crisis, I could call them and know they’d come without hesitation.
2. Space. The contrast here would be that I value friends who give me breathing room. I don’t want someone in my face, ever. Don’t hover around me. Knowing you’re there is plenty enough. (This is a skill I constantly work on, btw.)
3. Humor. Lord deliver me from folks who take themselves so stinkin’ seriously. I’m not talking about a good joke-teller here, although that’s okay. I value that. I mean someone who just simply finds stuff funny, even things other people don’t. My sense of humor leans toward absurdity, and I love satire. My friends need to roll with that. Some of my favorite people are those who are just funny, and they aren’t trying to be.
4. Depth. I can tolerate surface small talk for a while. I can even pull it off in a pinch. But sooner or later, I gotta have those deep, meaningful discussions. Maybe even self-relavatory. If I ask “How are you doing?”, I mean “How are you really doing?” I can go with the theology of creation, or why God made mosquitos, or the most embarrassed you’ve ever been. Wanna talk about the meaning of life? I’m in.
5. Loyalty. All of us have experienced the pain of being “ditched.” I’m too old to let that bother me like it would’ve when I was much younger. Still, it hurts to be betrayed. So loyalty? Yeah.
6. Forgiveness. I simply don’t want to be around folks who hold grudges, much less have them as friends. If you and I are to model Christlikeness, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to withhold forgiveness. We forgive because we were first forgiven. When you forgive, you’re exercising a superpower. I like that.
7. Integrity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I value consistency as a friendship trait. A synonym could be “authenticity.” Just be real. I can spot a phony a mile away.
8. Encouragement. Prop me up from time to time, okay? I hope that doesn’t display some sort of neediness on my part. If you can sincerely say “Tony, it’s gonna be okay,” I’ll follow you to the jumping off place. You will have made my day. Maybe even my week. Okay, you’ve made my whole freakin’ life just a little better.
9. Tolerance. Follow me here. I’m not talking about tolerating wickedness or sin. Now, I can be pretty keen on “live and let live.” But that doesn’t mean that you or I either one should turn a blind eye to evil, even if that evil is sanctioned and culturally incorporated. I guess a better term would be “open-mindedness,”  seeing things from the other person’s point of view. Listening. Seeking first to understand before trying to be understood. I like to be around folks who’ll give others an honest hearing, even if they have no intention of being converted to an opposing viewpoint.
10. Faith. I love to see Jesus in my friends. I have friends who are nonbelievers, and that seems appropriate to me. Look who Christ hung out with. But for my besties, I need folks who are examples of “iron sharpening iron.” I know what kind of spiritual laziness I’m capable of. I’m not afraid of being accountable to Christian friends, even though sometimes in the flesh I want them to mind their own business. Faith in God? Yes, please.

I don’t have that many friends.

Don’t feel bad for me. Like I said, that is mostly by choice. It’s an introvert thing, and if you’re an innie like me, you know what I’m talking about.

That’s what I’m about. What are the traits you value in your friends? I’d love for you to share your thoughts below.

Be well.

What is success, anyway? Volumes have been written on this, and the definition of success is oh-so subjective. Your success criteria and mine might be in two different places.

Still, I’d like to tackle this one. As always, this is the gospel according to Tony, and you might think you know better. That’s entirely possible, and I’m at peace with you about that. Success can be in the eye of the beholder.

Foundationally, I’d say that unless you think you’re a success it doesn’t matter what the world thinks of you. For instance, you can be a gazillionaire and the world thinks you’re amazing. Yet your soul is barren and your relationships are wretched. See what I mean? Success has to be an internal thing if it’s to have any meaning to you. I love this quote from Thoreau:

“A man is rich in the proportion of things he can let alone.” So as we ponder success, remember that I ain’t necessarily talking about finances. (Although, I’d say that anyone who says that money isn’t important will lie about other things, too.)

So what are some factors to consider?

1. Purpose. I’m all about goals – goal setting and goal achieving. I believe that’s critical to success. Maybe one day I’ll post a bibliography of helpful books and resources. In the meantime, just latch onto this: You’re always moving toward some kind of goal, either by purpose or default. Life will mean something if you’re going somewhere purposeful and of your choosing. Habakkuk 2:3 says, “For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end – it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”

• Consistency. If you’re remotely aware of how baseball works, you know that a batting average of .500 is pretty much a walk-on-water statistic. That means that half the time you’re batting, you get a hit, and, conversely, you miss just as many. Stated differently, you fail just as much as you succeed. If you’re successful, then count on having plenty of moments of failure. Wrap your head around this: you’re gonna screw up. But rather than burning energy worrying about what you did or didn’t do, how about using that energy on learning from what happened, sucking out whatever lessons you can, and moving on? It’s a matter of being consistent and not beating yourself up. Perseverance, in other words. How about this? “For the righteous falls seven times seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” – Proverbs 24:16.

• Cost. Hey, guess what. There is no success for free. There are no shortcuts or work-arounds. I mean, what good is there in being successful if there wasn’t real effort to achieve it? It’s that old thing about how lottery winners tend to squander their gains because they didn’t have to work to get them. It needs to be hard, and God help us and others in our culture of entitlement. No one owes you squat. I can’t cite where I heard this, but I recall that a Steinway concert grand piano has 243 strings that exert a pull of 40,000 pounds on an iron frame. Music comes from tension, in other words. Isn’t that good? “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” – Proverbs 16:3.

• Being pleased. This isn’t an original thought with me, but … success may be won with tears but it must be crowned with laughter. Hey, if success doesn’t please you and give you satisfaction, then it really isn’t success, now is it? Ultimately, you are the only one who can know what gives you pleasure in accomplishment. You sort of have to not give a rip about what anyone else thinks. If you’re pleased, poop on ‘em. What do they know? So be satisfied and don’t apologize. That means … you may be an abject failure in the eyes of the world, but if you’re content because you’ve reached a meaningful personal goal, good for you. Psalm 37:4 is a good one here: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Note it’s YOUR heart and no one else’s!

• Spiritual faith. All this talk of success ultimately has to be grounded in belief. We Americans have been taught to be individualistic, to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, be self-made men or women, ad infinitum. As a Christian, however, I yield to the connectedness that comes from being part of a purpose bigger than myself. In my naïve worldview, I just can’t see how I could feel successful without acknowledging the Author of my purpose. This, it seems, is the great leveler. Someone might be a successful yard man and another be a successful oil company executive. Both of these can be honorable positions in life, provided that those individuals feel that they’re successful in what they do, although they are separated by a huge financial gulf. But their spiritual faith – faith in God – could be exactly the same and just as meaningful. Different thread, common tapestry!

The key, I suppose, is to courageously be yourself.

Be well. Comments welcomed and encouraged!

“I’m stressed out.” You ever said that? Is that where you’re living right now?

Perhaps you’ve heard my testimony about dealing with mental and emotional issues, especially after my head injury and subsequent post-concussion syndrome for the last couple of years. It’s a thing, and I never dreamed I’d be that person that people would talk about saying, “Poor Tony. After he scrambled his brain, he never was the same again.”

That’s true, I guess. But I’m not stressed out because of that. Actually, I’m generally not stressed out anyway. I’m pretty chill. Depression is my Kryptonite; that’s not what we’re talking about today.

I watch people I know and love in recent days teeter on the verge of a “come apart” (and if you’re not a Southerner, I don’t know if that communicates well. If you’re one of my foreign readers, it just means that you are about to break down, have a fit, or conniption, or whatever.) They are legitimately stressed out.

What do you do if you’re in that state?

I have four thoughts to pass along.

1. If worry and anxiety are a problem for you, set aside a specific time of day for it. You think I’m kidding? I’m not. Don’t let it ruin your whole day. If worry creeps in and you’re stressed out, then jot it down and determine to put if off until your scheduled “worry time.” That compartmentalizes it, condenses it, and gives you freedom for the rest of the day. That’s actually a stopgap measure – we want to squelch stress and not have to make time for it.
2. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. I believe stress can be born from suppressed emotions – guilt, jealousy, hatred, anger, and envy can all cause huge anxiety. Sometimes you can figure out what the issue is. Other times, a professional needs to evaluate what’s happening. Once the emotion and its source are pinpointed, two things need to happen:
   1. Ventilate those feelings. Get them out. I’d say that you need to have a safe person to open up to. I’d start with the One who is always there, God Himself. He’s promised to never leave or forsake you. It’s all about confessing your thoughts and actions.
   2. Cultivate good friendships. This can be tricky, because I’m talking about more than just acquaintances. This will need to be someone who can keep confidences, someone who has your best interests at heart, and who won’t judge.
   3. The biggie? Accept God’s forgiveness for your weaknesses, but you absolutely, without question, need to forgive others you feel have done you wrong. There is no shortcut, and you cannot, under any circumstances as a child of God, excuse a lack of forgiveness. You can’t control  the actions of other folks, but you can always choose to forgive. That’s liberating.
3. Schedule and practice a quiet time. If you want to function and not be stressed out, then you need to have a definite time of solitude and reflection. Wondering how you can find the time for it? You just do. I assure you there are plenty of people who have fuller schedules than you who make this a priority. I promise you can find five minutes. That’s a great starting point.
   1. Meditation is a part of this. If you’re stressed out, this will help. I’m not talking about some eastern religion weird thing, but just a time to let God speak. You breathe. You find a natural rhythm. Be still and listen. Shhhh.
   2. Then there’s prayer. If you’re a stressed-out believer, this is crucial. Ancient script – from Philippians 4 – states: 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I love this because it speaks of God’s peace guarding our hearts and minds. Your rational mind can inform you that you have no reason to be stressed out, but we are anyway. It’s because your mind knows what’s happening but it hasn’t made it to your heart yet. Still – you can have peace. It’s a promise.
4. Be obedient. This is tough if you’re stressed out. Most of the time we’re very aware of God’s will, because it’s spelled out in scripture. We just have to do what we know we’re supposed to. Simple, right? Sometimes, not so much. Here’s the thing: we often wait until we’re faced with a big decision between right and wrong. Then we’re caught off guard and screw up. Well, the best time to make a decision is before circumstances force us to make a decision. Settle in your mind and heart that you’re going to follow God’s teachings, no matter what. If we fail (and we will), then we simply confess, agree with God we blew it, and move the heck on.

Obviously, this is not a comprehensive list of what to do when you’re stressed out.

I know our lives are hectic, demanding, and stressful. Even good things can contribute to that stress and anxiety – family, work, school, sports, and other activities. What can you do to deal with those pressures?

Just get as close to God as you can and roll with it.

Be well.

Strength to persevere aka “hang in there.”

Some days I’m simply worn out. Part of that may be aftereffects of COVID-19 (notice the subtle way I called attention to myself there), but I’m not speaking in purely physical terms. The strength to persevere has to come from something outside of myself. I don’t have it intrinsically in me.

Fight the good fight, they say.

Some years back I was serving on the staff of a parachurch ministry in Metro Atlanta. I was also working part-time at a small church as a youth minister.

This was one of those dark seasons of the soul. I was flailing around, trying to get my spiritual bearings, and wondering what I was going to be when I grew up. We were also tanking financially. I was raising my own support at the ministry and was frankly lousy at it.

I’d had it, and I was such a whiner that I wanted the world to know that I’d had it.

One of my coworkers – who genuinely meant well, I believe – took it upon herself to encourage me. Kind of like Job’s friends.

She had the nerve to quote scripture.

“Remember what James said,” she told me. “We’re to consider it joy when we face trials. When your faith is tested, you’ll develop perseverance.”

I knew right then the rest of the conversation wasn’t going to go well.

She continued: “You just gotta hang in there, y’know?” And with a big smile, she said, “Wow. You are really strong.”

I didn’t punch her in the throat, even though  I wanted to.

I thought about this later. How strong does God want me to be, I wondered?

Honestly, in the last few weeks, I’ve felt like this. Maybe you have, too. I didn’t like hearing what she had to say, but I’ll be danged if it isn’t the truth.

If we respond correctly, trials really do make us stronger, wiser, and better. It’s a matter of perspective. God wants to give us the strength to persevere, but He has interesting ways to bring about His purposes. What He does can hurt like crazy.

Asking God for strength is easy. Relying on His strength is a different matter.

I’ve never felt that I had much willpower. It’s unspeakably easy for me to cave in the face of temptation.

You’d think that if that were the case, I’d depend on God more to supply that strength to persevere. Well, no … I start by depending on my own resources, crash and burn, and then turn to God. Then when He gives me strength, I squander it by doing things my own way.

That, pilgrim, is a wretched state to be in.

No matter how much willpower you have, it’s never enough. Am I right?

Willpower takes energy. It’s draining. When it runs out, you’re even more exhausted because you’ve let yourself down.

Too often we seek God’s strength when we’re in the worst place imaginable. It’s like He’s the last resort.

It has to be frustrating to be God. He wants to give us the resources of heaven, yet we insist on going it alone. We gird our loins, put our heads down, and forge ahead.

And here’s God, saying, “Excuse me, kiddo. I sure would like to take care of this for you. You just gotta ask.”

Here’s fact: You and I will need God’s strength for every single part of our lives. Yes, He gives us common sense (most of us, anyway.) He has every resource we will ever need to thrive and flourish in this world. Instead – we say something lame like “I got this.”

How does that work out for you? *snort*

Maybe today you’re doing better than ever. You’ve embraced the promise of 2021 and are relishing a fresh start.

Great. But you need to listen to your Uncle Tony: You will need God’s strength to stay that way. He’s going to be the only source you have of the strength to persevere.

Or maybe you’ve absolutely HAD it. You have nothing else to give. You are sucked dry. It may be you’re having family issues. Perhaps financial Armageddon is on your horizon. Politics and disease have gotten the best of you (or maybe the two combined are corrupting your heart and soul.)

In other words, you’re in major crisis mode.

Maybe you’re somewhere in the middle.

I don’t want to come across as patronizing or giving easy answers. If you need the strength to persevere, there is hope. There is always hope.

This is strictly a God thing, because you can’t make it on your own. He doesn’t want you to just persevere. He wants you to be a rockstar.

I don’t want to come across as my friend did. I don’t want to be a miserable comforter.

It’s a matter of two things: (1) Recognizing that God has walked with you and sustained you before, and (2) Being grateful for both what He has done in those dark days and what He will continue to do.

I have yet to meet anyone who said, “I followed God and He ruined my life.”

O be joyful.