One in four adults and one in five youth in the United States have a diagnosable mental illness. At Family Matters, we know this means nearly every family we come in contact with is impacted by mental illness. As Christians, we know we can turn to our Heavenly Father and seek His guidance and wisdom in all areas of our life. The Bible tells us in 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

Belief in an omnipotent God means we believe He can heal us of our brokenness spiritually, mentally and physically. Out of that belief, we turn to our God with prayer and faith that He can heal. We believe this for ourselves, and we encourage others to believe the same.

God can, and sometimes does, heal us when we cry out to Him, but often He doesn’t.

Often, God says to us when we continually ask him to take away our sadness, anxiety, scattered thoughts, anger and pain, “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness” —2 Corinthians 12:9.

The only brokenness God promises to heal is our spiritual brokenness.

Mentally and physically, we are “jars of clay” that contain our spiritual treasure (2 Corinthians 4:7-18) and we often won’t be free from our afflictions until we are glorified with Christ someday in Heaven.

I see a trend in the Church that troubles me. The response of much of the Church to mental illness is to over-spiritualize both the problems and the solutions.

I have experienced it personally, and a recent study by LifeWay research has found nearly half of evangelical, fundamentalist, or born-again Christians (48 percent) believe prayer and Bible study alone can overcome serious mental illness like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression.

We would never begrudge someone with cancer from seeking the best, most innovative treatment available to them. We would never simply tell them to just pray and study their Bible more! We would pray fervently for God’s healing, comfort and wisdom, but we’d also fully expect that they will see a doctor, seek treatment and take medication if it’s warranted.

We don’t do the same with mental health.

Often, when I’ve heard someone share that they are grappling with mental illness, their concern is met with answers like, “you should cast all your cares on the Lord (1 Pet. 5:7); rejoice in the Lord always (Phil 4:4); pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17) and you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).”

All of these are biblical truths—but they should not be hurled as platitudes; platitudes to dismiss their pain, call their faith into question and shut down further discussion of a topic we may find challenging and hard to comprehend.

The mentally ill continue to receive dismissive, judgmental and marginalizing responses from much of the Church because mental health is still stigmatized. Yes, there is a spiritual component to mental illness (and physical illness), but mostly because we are spirit. To immediately draw the conclusion that someone struggling with clinical depression, anxiety disorder, mania or PTSD is under spiritual attack only makes sense if we also immediately draw the same conclusion of our friend who has been diagnosed with breast cancer, hypothyroidism or kidney stones. Yes, demon possession and spiritual oppression happens, but they are not the main cause of true, persistent mental illness. Mental illness happens at the intersection of our mind, spirit, personality, character, faith, decisions and electrical command center (our brain) but it is illness just the same.

It is vital we don’t do anything which could be construed as discouraging treatment for mental illness, because without treatment (and sometimes with it) mental illness can be terminal. Our Great Physician often uses the miracle of medicine in His healing.  Sure, medications come with potential risks and side effects. Like any other health decision we weigh the risk of treating against the risk of not treating. And I can tell you this: the risk of untreated, or undertreated mental illness is staggeringly high. The point is, it’s not our place to critique how a fellow believer chooses to treat their illness either physical or mental. We can leave those decisions between them, their families, their doctors and our Wounded Healer.

What’s the danger in over-spiritualizing mental health?

The danger is we continue to stigmatize those who are equally loved by our Great God. The danger is rather than being life-giving in our love, compassion and understanding, we who are redeemed are a stumbling block to those precious souls who cry out to the Great Physician. The danger is we miss our calling to love and edify each other, and cause a bitter root to grow between us and the world.

“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many”—Hebrews 12:15.

So love, listen, pray, encourage, support, bake casseroles, drive to appointments and pick-up prescriptions. Advocate for those whose illness leaves them voiceless. Let our witness to the world be how broken people love each other.

NOTE: This article from Family Matters was written by Karis Murray, who writes candidly about mental illness and urges readers not to miss their callings to love and advocate for those whose illnesses leave them voiceless. I want to give all credit to Karis and Family Matters.

There is no shame to ask for prayer. I’m trying to work through my natural tendency to NOT ask.

Here’s the thing: I do not, not, not want to come across as needy, or craving attention or pity, or anything like that. 

You know the type. The person who is clingy, ill-adjusted, and needs to be the star in their autobiography. The person who would say, without irony, “It’s all about me.”

The flip side of this is scripture informs me that it’s absolutely appropriate to ask for prayer. That’s not being selfish. It’s being real. 

The Apostle Paul often asked his fellow believers to pray for him as he preached Christ. In his letter to the Christians at Corinth, Paul asked them to pray for him as he was constantly under duress for preaching Jesus (2 Corinthians 1:11).

Paul asked his fellow believers in Colossae to pray for him as he preached Christ: “At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison — that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak” (Colossians 4: 3-4, ESV).

We must not be ashamed of asking others to pray for us. Paul needed the prayers of his Christian family, we too need the prayers of our brothers and sisters. And those two passages I cited are just for starters – there are plenty more.

The reality is that I AM needy, and you are too. It’s out of that needful place that you and I can ask for prayer. 

I’m a case study in this. I’ve needed to ask for prayer in an acute, even desperate way the last couple of weeks. You’ll need to indulge me. 

Here’s background, and if you’ve heard all this before, feel free to skim it (yawn).

In June of 2018 I suffered a nasty concussion. At first it wasn’t too big of a deal – my eye swelled shut, I had stitches, but it all seemed pretty routine. CT scans and x-rays showed no head or brain damage, but I did have three broken ribs. About a week after the injury, I started getting headaches on the opposite side of my head from the impact site. Overnight I developed a sensitivity to light and sound. There were some cognitive issues – it’s like my brain was shrouded in fog. 

Worst of all was the deepest, darkest emotional funk you can imagine. Anxiety, depression, and what I characterized as “a sense of impending doom” became realities. It was/is perfectly awful. 

After another round of scans and x-rays, my internist – whom I love much – told me I had post-concussion syndrome. No, I’d never heard of it either. All my symptoms were textbook. The cure? Time. I was to be patient. It would “take time.” (I’ve heard that “take time” phrase so many times that I’m afraid the next time I hear it I’m gonna punch someone in the throat.) He also put me on a killer combo of depression/anxiety meds. 

Apparently PCS victims are prone to suicidal thoughts. Praise God that hasn’t been an issue. Since then, I’ve been to a chiropractor, I’ve tried acupuncture (which was actually pretty fun, but it didn’t really help), and talked to a counselor. All well and good. 

I’ve also been to a neurologist, and that’s been very encouraging. I’d had a migraine headache 24/7 – that was taking its toll – but again, she’s tinkered and experimented with several drugs and the headaches are more manageable.

About two weeks ago, the Apocalypse. 

The mother of all migraines, which would respond briefly to meds then come roaring back. It was taking a real toll not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too.

In full senior adult mode – we love to share our ailments, right? the wonderful Dr. Bridget Jones, neurologist par excellence, restricted me to the house for five days with orders to be still and quiet, which suited me just fine. Lots of couch time, limited screen time. 

The thing about brain injuries, at least in my case, is that they become part of a new normal. I’m not completely over it, it’s mostly manageable, but some days – whew. I feel as stupid as a sack of rocks, I can’t articulate what I want to say, and I generally just need to avoid people. It’s like living under a cloud. And people will say, “You look fine,” which sounds pretty good.

The thing is, it’s not like faking being sick to get out of school or work. I’ve been having to fake being well.

So, when the doc was able to work me in, which was a miracle in itself because she stays booked up months in advance, she took lots of time with me to make sure she knew what was going on. I got a toradol shot, which is a HUGELY amped-up NSAID, and I got some relief in less than a half hour.

She sent me home with this stuff called Reyvow. It’s not a narcotic – oddly enough, migraines don’t respond well to opioids – but I SWEAR, I’ve never taken anything like THIS. Yesterday morning, within about 15 minutes of taking it, I was in a zone I can’t even describe. The headache vanished. Poof. 

But the side effects … I MEAN. I was on the couch, and it was like someone had thrown a weighted blanket over me. I couldn’t move (well, I actually could, but didn’t want to!), and experienced something like euphoria. This lasted a while, and then, well, the rest of the day, I basically didn’t get off the couch. I just sort of hovered in a groggy haze. I’d googled the med and read reviews from others who’d taken it. Some folks hallucinated. Others went numb in their hands and feet. Scary, but it did what it was supposed to do. It’s a tradeoff.

I was warned several times to NOT attempt to drive. I get that. Instead of driving 2 miles to Walmart, I might end up in Memphis. And to not try to make any important decisions, which made sense … in my state, it would have been easy to put our house up for sale or something, and not know I did it. The nurse said, “Not only could you make bad decisions, you won’t KNOW you’re even making decisions.”

I went back to work a couple of days ago. I’m making it.

I needed to ask for prayer, and I did. God has honored those prayers from so many folks who have prayed.

Why am I sharing all this? It’s because I think you can relate.

Here me again – if you are in need of prayer, ask for prayer. Folks love to pray if they know of a need. It gives them an opportunity to put some feet to what they say they believe. 

One more thought. 

In a counseling session not long after I scrambled my head, I discovered that part of what I was experiencing was actual grief – grief for the old Tony and adapting to the new Tony. Once I realized what was going on – missing the old me – it brought things into perspective and sure helped a lot. I share this to say – be kind to others. Be kind to people who don’t see things as you do, or hold the same values as you. You simply don’t know what they’re facing or have faced. As I always say, “You don’t know their stories.” Don’t be reactionary and lump them in a category of “them” or “those ____”.

Everyone you have any contact with under any circumstances was made in the image of God, and if that isn’t reason enough for respect, I don’t know what is. Please be kind. Life is challenging enough as it is without you devaluing others. 

I just made myself cry. Talk later!

Negative self-talk? You prone to that? Let’s work on it.

As Christians, we believe that we are created in the image of God and that God loves us unconditionally. However, sometimes we forget this truth and allow negative self-talk to take over our minds. This is a pretty nasty deal. Negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive, holding us back from pursuing our dreams, preventing us from taking risks, and robbing us of our joy and peace.

But here’s the good news: we don’t have to live with negative self-talk. By recognizing when negative thoughts are taking over our minds, replacing them with positive ones, and trusting in God’s promises, we can get rid of negative self-talk and live the joyful, peaceful, and fulfilling lives that God intended for us.

Recognizing Negative Self-Talk

The first step in getting rid of negative self-talk is recognizing when it’s taking over our minds. Negative self-talk can take many forms, such as telling ourselves we’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough. It can also take the form of a nagging feeling that we’ll never measure up to our own or other people’s expectations. Whatever form it takes, negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive.

One way to recognize negative self-talk is to pay attention to the thoughts we have throughout the day. When we notice a negative thought, we can pause and ask ourselves if it’s true. Often, we’ll find that the negative thought is based on a lie, rather than on reality. You’ll have to come up with your own list of triggers, but it’s easy to lie to yourself and believe what you’re saying.

Keeping It Positive

Once we recognize negative self-talk, we can take steps to replace it with positive thoughts that align with God’s truth. Notice I’m talking about God’s truth and not “truth” from another source. I’m an absolute truth kind of guy … truth, by its nature, can’t contradict itself. I’m talking about truth with no mixture of error, and that’s from God alone. We can do this by finding Bible verses or positive affirmations that counteract the negative thought. Here are a few examples:

If we’re struggling with the belief that we’re unlovable, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Romans 8:38-39, which says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

If we’re feeling like we’re not good enough, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Philippians 4:13, which says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

And if we’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Matthew 6:34, which says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Practicing Positive Self-Talk

Replacing negative self-talk with positive thoughts is just the first step. The next step is to practice positive self-talk consistently. This means intentionally choosing to speak and think positively about ourselves, even when it’s hard. We can do this by creating a list of positive affirmations and Bible verses that we can turn to whenever negative self-talk creeps in. Here are a few examples – some of God’s greatest hits, if you will:

• I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
• I am a child of God (John 1:12).
• I am more than a conqueror through Christ (Romans 8:37).
• I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
• I am loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).

Trusting in God’s Promises

Finally, we can trust in God’s promises as we work to get rid of negative self-talk. We can pray for strength, wisdom, and guidance, knowing that God is with us.

Chances are that I haven’t shared a single thing that you didn’t know. The goal, I’d say, is to close that gap between what you believe and actually do. You can’t wait until you feel like taking action to end what’s hurting you. Act first. Your feelings will catch up.

I hope these helped. You are harder on yourself than anyone else is. Embrace what God has done and what He thinks about you. His opinion matters. Yours doesn’t.

“Return to Wholeness” implies that something was broken and needed restoration.

I get that. That’s why I’ve developed an online course with that name.

Return to Wholeness is an online course to help broken Christians feel better, become whole, experience supernatural peace – and have fun in the process.

Sounds counterintuitive, right? 

Through my service in Christian ministry for 40+ years, I’ve seen so many believers stall out in their faith – they spend their days frustrated, defeated, and even desperate. Broken, in other words.  The fulfilling Christian life that others seem to experience eludes them.I know what I’m talking about – you could count me among that number.

I know how you feel. I’ve felt the same way. What I have found is that there is a path to feeling better (actually, BEING better) and it’s a spiritually and scripturally based journey.

This concept has been gradually built in local churches I’ve served over the years, coming alongside literally hundreds of fellow pilgrims in group settings and one-on-one, and I’m happy to say that it has officially launched.  

What totally caught me off guard is that a national publication picked up on the story. Believe me, Return to Wholeness wasn’t promoted to them.

Here’s the link to the article. It’s a quick read. I think this is pretty cool.

The story in The Baptist Paper does a jam-up job of explaining where I’m coming from. Return to Wholeness is a passion project for me. “Driven” is a strong word, but that’s where I find myself.

Return to Wholeness is an online course, so you can enjoy it (and implement it) right from where you are!

Here’s the thing, though. Take heed. I’m not playing.

I’m enrolling students right now through September 20 (or until we sell out)!

There is limited availability. After September 20, the price will go up.

You’ll receive access to the first unit on September 26, and each subsequent lesson will be delivered each week after that. This way, you can consume the content in your own time.

Here is a document explaining much of what you’ve already heard, but it also contains all you need to get started.

But – one huge component to Return to Wholeness will be access to a very exclusive membership-only Facebook group. You’ll be able to interact with your fellow pilgrims. You can ask questions, share progress, get encouragement when you’re “stuck,” and have access to me personally. You can engage at whatever level you’re comfortable with. You’ll never walk alone. This is fire. 🔥

What distinguishes Return to Wholeness from any other course I’m aware of is that I am persuaded that becoming whole again doesn’t have to be a slog. It doesn’t have to be heavy, oppressive, grueling, or dark. Dark valleys give way to green pastures, and there is a joy in that. What I’ll share will give you joy, and I will make sure you have fun along the way. 

And if you have this God-driven sense that you won’t benefit from this course, would you happen to know of a friend or family member who would? I’d just about assure you that’s the case.

I created Return to Wholeness because I am heartbroken at how many Christians I meet who are living defeated lives of quiet desperation. That scripturally-promised abundant life simply isn’t a reality for them. And, in this fallen and toxic world, so many seem to be abandoning hope.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

It doesn’t matter who you are, what has happened in your past, or the degree of anxiety you have about the future. You can return to the wholeness you once experienced and felt as a new believer. 

If you want to feel better and be better, if you want to be restored after brokenness, and you want to experience supernatural peace without having to deal with past hurt and tragedy, be sure to join us in Return to Wholeness.

I had a friend ask me, “Tony, are you trying to sell something?”

I sure am. Here’s what I’ve realized. Selling is service. I’m providing a tool that can potentially be life-changing, and I say that because it’s God who brings about change. We just have to position ourselves in a place where He’s working, give some hope and encouragement and tools, and let Him do what only He can do.

When you join Return to Wholeness, you get:

• 7 Steps to Wholeness. This is the heart and soul of the course, presented in an easily accessible, upbeat, and encouraging video format.
• 7 Steps to Wholeness Workbook. This is the written companion piece to the video study, including a listening guide, interactive questions, and other goodies – not “schoolish” at all.
• 31 Days to Restoration. This hands-on devotional guide will complement and interface with what you’re learning in the course by helping you develop intimacy with Jesus Christ.
• Personal Journal. If you aren’t journaling (or maybe if you already are), here’s where you start … this downloadable PDF will help you unpack your head and get some mental and emotional breathing room.
• The Me Nobody Knows. This assessment instrument will help you identify the pain points in your life and prepare you for your study ahead – and will also show you the progress you’ve made when all is said and done.
• Direction Finder. Here’s my bulletproof method of how to make wise decisions, presented in a sequential, step-by-step format. You’ll love this.
• The Restoration Group. This might be the most important component of this course – a private, curated Facebook group strictly for students of Return to Wholeness. We’re here for each other – for mutual encouragement, celebration, grief, and plenty of opportunities to interact with me personally. 

Again, the price will most assuredly go up September 20. While enrollment will stay open indefinitely, I have to rein things in somehow.

If you’ve made it this far, here is a document explaining much of what you’ve already heard, but it also contains all you need to get started.

That’s it. Be blessed. Comment below.

There are some things that take up too much headspace for me – specifically, things that are out of my control.

I realized when I started writing this particular blog that I had way too much to share in just one sitting. So this will be continued next time, okay? (Teaser!)

Fact is, there are plenty of things out of my control, and yours, too.

I thought I’d share seven of these. This isn’t some magic number, but I’m guessing that at a minimum these seven are close to universal. I’ll just air these out, and next time I’ll give you some encouragement.

Here ya go: 7 things out of my control.

1. The actions of others.

Think about the folks you come into contact with regularly. If you want to think globally, that’s fine, but maybe we need to restrict this to your immediate circle.

It’s a hard truth that you can’t control what others do. Maybe you can be an influencer, and I hope you are. (Of course, this implies that you know what’s best for others, and that might be a little sketchy.)

People are inherently self-serving, and it takes some effort for them to overcome that … if that’s a goal they have. Chances are, you’ve experienced some hurt because of what others have done. You’d like to help them see how wrong they were (subtle sarcasm there.)

You got nowhere. This is one of those things out of your control.

2. The opinions of others.

Well, yeah. People have strong opinions about, y’know, stuff. They may have strong opinions about you, too. Does that make you uncomfortable? And if so, why?

I know of a lady who was scrupulous about making sure her house was in order, the beds made up, etc., before leaving each morning for work. Her rationale? “If the house catches on fire, I’d hate for the firefighters to see my house in a mess.”

Well, now, my sense is that they wouldn’t care. That’s something out of my control.

Still, she was motivated by the opinion of others. Even complete strangers.

You can’t do anything about what others think. Again, you might be an influencer, but it’s up to them as to what their opinions are.

3. How others take care of themselves.

There is a series of commercials/PSA’s I see frequently about quitting smoking. I’ve never smoked, so this doesn’t really apply to me. But the minute-long spots show vignettes of people who are grotesquely scarred because of surgery, of children having to take care of cancer-ridden parents, and patients dealing with a whole host of horrific ailments.

It may be that someone close to you doesn’t take care of themselves. Maybe they’re morbidly obese. Perhaps they know what they’re doing is unhealthy – not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. It grieves you.

You can’t fix that. People will, or won’t, take care of themselves based on where they are in life and what circumstances surround them.

I had a relative who straight-up said, “Smoking is the only pleasure I have left.” So there’s that.

4. What happens around me.

So here you are, plunked down in a physical location right now. It’s an environmental thing, and it’s not just physical. You may find yourself in an environment made up of other people, circumstances, things like that.

Those things are out of my control. They might not change. Perhaps I can remove myself from that environment, but that doesn’t change the “things” themselves.

As I write this, Jackson, Mississippi, is in a legitimate crisis. I live in metro Jackson, and what is happening doesn’t directly affect me. Jackson is without water, basically, and that means none to drink, none to bathe in, none to cook with, none to flush toilets. It’s really, really bad. We’re on the national news.

I can’t do anything about that. It’s out of my control.

I would say, though, that while I can’t change things, I can serve in the midst of them. While the circumstances themselves are out of my control, I’m not helpless. So maybe this one isn’t totally out of my control. There have been other things over the years I couldn’t do squat about.

5. The past.

This one is pretty self-evident. What’s done is done. We don’t get do-overs. We can commit to not doing boneheaded things from here on out, but it doesn’t change what’s already happened.

If you’ve been following me for some time, you know this is a “thing” for me. People are burdened, crippled by the past. It shouldn’t be this way, but realistically, it is for many.

I can’t change the past. That’s out of my control. It’s easy to say “get over it,” but that’s really, really hard, especially if you have something in your past that looms up in your thoughts like some demonic presence.

6. The future.

Here’s a companion thought to #5. You can’t control the future.

There may be sort of an exception to this. You can make decisions right now that will indeed change the future.

But – you can’t control what those changes are. Be wise, think things through, and in God’s providence make the right calls.

In spite of all that, you don’t get to dictate the outcomes. You can in no fashion control the future. You don’t know what’s out there. If the supervolcano under Yellowstone chooses to blow, it’s gonna blow. That’s out of my control. Fundamentally, the future before you is out of your control, too.

7. What other people think of me.

This one is a bit like #2. The distinction I’d like to make is that while the opinion of others might involve, say, politics, what people think of you is personal, directed at you.

That’s out of my control for sure. I don’t really like that.

It may be that you’ve tried to be charming, or forceful, or used any number of tactics to make people like you.

How’d that work out for ya?

You simply can’t control what other people think of you. You can do all you can to present yourself in a winsome, positive way, but they are still going to have their own opinions of you. Those opinions might change over time. Or not.

In all my years of youth ministry, I finally came to the realization that some kids simply didn’t like me. I can’t imagine anyone not liking me, but it’s true. Oh. The horror.

What other people think of you is out of your hands. As I’ve said, you can be an influencer, but people are going to have their opinions of you no matter what.

So, there you go. There are many things out of my control. There are many things out of your control.

My admittedly lame counsel is for us to collectively get over it. I know, right?

Next time I’ll give you a list of things that are in your control. That’s what we want to major on.

Talk soon!

I went to bed last night brokenhearted.

For a whole host of reasons, I can’t give details as to why I’m brokenhearted. It’s a combination of factors, which are primarily out of my hands. It’s grief compounded upon grief, and it’s not because of something I’ve done personally. Rather, it’s an awareness of what sin does.

This morning I awoke just as brokenhearted as I was at bedtime. I turned to God for comfort, direction, and wisdom. And as He’s prone to do – boom! He served up just exactly what I needed. That’s the way He rolls.

It all sprang from a verse in Isaiah – Isaiah 57:15, to be exact. This verse just cried out to be unpacked, and here’s my takeaways.

The question for us today is simple: Is your heart hurting today?

Check this out, from the New Living Translation:

The high and lofty one who lives in eternity, the Holy One, says this: “I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.”

It’s acceptable and encouraged to do the whole “breathe in, breathe out” routine while reading this and evaluating the state of your heart right now. As you wade into this, understand that feeling the presence of God in this very moment is what is called for.

Look. I don’t know of anyone who would willingly choose to experience a broken heart. The jaw-dropping reality, and what all my ponderings today hinge on, is that Jesus willingly suffered and died in our place so that He could reign as high priest in heaven.

He knows just exactly what it’s like to be brokenhearted. He’s been there. Isn’t that something?

The implications are huge.

What this means is that you can cry in His embrace, as a hurtin’ puppy, and know that if you’re brokenhearted He catches every tear.

One handicap we have, though, is that it’s easy and tempting to ignore the pain of a broken heart. You know, just soldier on, eyes fixed ahead, unbowed and determined. That sounds noble, but it’s not really a good idea, especially if you want to be authentic.

See, there’s a healing process when you bring your brokenheartedness to Jesus, and it’s a necessity for spiritual health, growth, and comfort.

Jesus is ready to comfort you, and it’s personally bewildering as to why I don’t lean into Him when I’m hurting.

There is a blessing that comes from pain. I know, right? That’s counterintuitive. Still, it’s that crystalline hurt that pushes us toward God and we experience His love in a way we simply can’t otherwise. It’s a blessing for those of us who are brokenhearted. 

It’s actually kind of crazy, in a good way. If we let ourselves hold back and try to nurse our own wounds, we stifle that supernatural healing and restoration He wants us to experience. We just can’t  let that hurt keep us from drawing close to Him.

He wants us to pour out our pain to Him so that His words can be balm to our souls.

I’m amazed, even after all these years of walking with God, that He sent Jesus to die for me. This is so fundamental, so basic, and yet we in our familiarity skate right past the most profound truth imaginable. 

Our requests to God might include:

• Give me courage to walk through this painful valley. There is a purpose to me being here.
• I want to hear Your voice – a whisper is fine, but if You need to holler to get my attention, that’s fine too.
• Reveal Your heart to me. I thought I could discern it when things were going well, but apparently You’ve had to get out the big guns.
• I believe You’re preparing a good and right path for me, but that doesn’t mean it’s all flat ground and no rocks.
• Don’t let me pull away from You in my grief and suffering. My mouth wants to say “whatever it takes,” but I tend to choke on those words. I’ll need some help with this one.
• Remind me of Your love and compassion. It’s so easy for me to forget those basics.

I don’t know how you visualize God – what your mental image of Him is. It’s different for everyone. It’ll be helpful if you could do that, even right now. Just soak in that sweet space.

Remind yourself that God loves you unconditionally. He’s totally faithful. 

There may be some things in your heart that need to be cleaned out – things that are hampering that blessing that will ease your brokenhearted spirit. Even in times of pain and brokenness you’re still blessed.

God doesn’t want you to deny your pain. If you’re brokenhearted, He wants you to draw near to Him with no holds barred.

Check out Isaiah 57:15 in the English Standard Version:

For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.”

More good stuff: Because God knows all the details of your broken heart, and when you cry He’s right there saving your tears, you are not alone in your brokenness. What a gift that is! He understands your situation completely and is standing by your side through it all.

And here’s a monster truth, to make things even sweeter: There is a gift of hope from Jesus that He can lift your spirit again, just as He rose again after and during the heartbreak of the Cross. Brokenhearted? Claim this.

Let’s do Isaiah 57:15 one more time, this time from the Amplified Bible:

For the high and exalted One, He who inhabits eternity, Whose name is Holy says this, “I dwell on the high and holy place, but also with the contrite and humble in spirit In order to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite [overcome with sorrow for sin].”

That last phrase really captures what it means to be contrite – overcome with sorrow for sin.

This version talks about sorrow over sin. Is that not often the cause of us being brokenhearted? This can be a scary thought.

It may be that the last time you were brokenhearted was simply because of your own personal sin. Through that, God showed you more about Himself through your brokenness. He doesn’t want you to just know facts about Him. He wants to draw you really close, and conviction of sin can absolutely take you to that place of intimacy. 

He doesn’t fail you. He doesn’t leave you or forsake you. But He will absolutely use brokenheartedness to make us right. 

If there’s something about pain you need to know, it’s this: God will take you into a deeper relationship with Him than you can imagine, but it’ll hurt in the process. You’ll be brokenhearted. So instead of running from the pain, you lean into it, take it to God (and don’t try to excuse or sugarcoat it), and every single time He’ll bring depths of beauty out of it.

Jesus endured pain so that we could have a relationship with Him. Do this:

• Ask Him to comfort and heal your heart. Now.
• Ask Him to remove anything you’ve done wrong.
• Ask Him to let you experience His nearness in a fresh way. 
• Ask Him to restore your peace, joy, and hope.

If the pain in your heart throbs again and you find yourself brokenhearted, remind yourself of this simple truth: God is near.

Talk later.

Here are 10 things never to say with someone dealing with mental health issues

I can’t find the quote or source, but it goes something like this: “Some people pretend to be sick. Those with mental health issues pretend to be well.”

Depression, anxiety, fears … they are part of the human experience. Fact is, there are many, many people who deal with these issues on a daily basis, and you’d never know it.

These are diseases, and should be treated as such.

But – if you have a friend or loved one who deals with mental health challenges, I’ve seen that people often mean well, but are clueless when it comes to what to say.

Here’s my own list of ten things not to say:

1. “It’s all in your head.” Well, it is. Sort of. While some mental health issues are due to dysfunctional thinking, there are a whole host of physical components that can play into it. The phrase “chemical imbalance” is tossed around casually, but the roots of mental illness can often be found in something going on internally, and not necessarily in “your head.”
2. “It’s not as bad as it seems.” Guess what – what is no big deal for one person can be absolutely crippling for another. What you’re saying with that phrase is “my worldview is better than yours.” I mean. Really?
3. “I know what you mean. I had to turn the TV off because what I saw on the news and it was depressing me.” Okay, props for trying to find a point of identification. This attempt at relating to what your loved one is going through is kind-hearted, but also misguided. It implies that those two things are the same or of similar consequence and minimizes their pain.
4. “There are plenty of people in worse condition than you.” That’s great – how about encouraging someone by comparing them to someone else? That’s so wrong on so many levels I don’t know where to start. For all of us – comparing yourself to others can mess you up. How about focusing on what makes you unique?
5. “Are you okay?” That sounds pretty innocuous, and isn’t really too bad. The danger is that it puts the other person in a place where they’re almost obligated to say “I’m fine,” when that isn’t the case. It also implies that the person needs to get better immediately, and mental health issues seldom have a quick fix. I’ve gotten to where I respond “No, I’m not okay!” That effectively ends the conversation. Honesty and candor can do that.
6. “You have so much to be thankful for.” And that, of course, is true. Problem is that you can be thankful and hurting at the same time. We as believers are supernaturally blessed, but we are not exempt from spending some parallel time in some dark places. That phrase implies that if you were really consistently thankful, you wouldn’t feel the way you do.
7. “Get over it.” Hey, thanks for displaying some grace and mercy.
8. “Things could be worse.” This is a companion to #5. It’s like saying, “Fred lost his job, got diagnosed with cancer, and ran over his cat.” If you’ve never dealt with mental illness personally, then it’s hard for you to understand that depression, anxiety, etc., don’t necessarily have to have triggers. They just are.
9. “Just be positive.” And while you’re at it, tell someone with diabetes to “think happy thoughts” instead of taking their insulin. If it were only that simple.
10. “Have you prayed about it?” The implication here for the believer is “you must not have prayed, or else God would have delivered you, so your faith is weak.” My response is to take a look at scripture, for starters – check out words from David, Elijah, and other godly people. And understand, too, that God is the Great Physician, all healing ultimately comes from Him, but He has all sorts of healing tools at His disposal – proper counseling and medications, for example.

Finally, I’ll share some things I’ve heard that are helpful:

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Talk to me. I’m listening.”

“Would you like to talk about what you’re going through? Or is there someone else you’d be comfortable talking to?”

“I am proud of you for getting the support you need.”

“What can I do to help?”

“I am there for you, you’re not alone in this.”

“You are important to me.”

“I love you.”

Talk later!

“I don’t care.”

I actually said that yesterday. That is an alien phrase for me. Lord knows that I tend to care too much, if that’s possible. Or, maybe, I don’t care in the way I should.

I’ve mentioned in these pages many times that my tendency is to be a “fixer”- of people and things. What that reveals to me about myself is that I’m actually pretty self-serving. If I can fix someone, or at least show that I care, then I can feel better about myself. Maybe that’s some weird form of co-dependency – I’m validated when I reach out to someone I think is dealing with junk, and they respond in gratitude.

That’s kinda sick, y’know?

Let me hasten to say that I do care, deeply, for many people. I’m just continually learning how to express that care without trying to set things right. It’s better for me to simply be around, supportive, than trying to correct things.

So if I’ve ever had personal dealings with you, and I’ve overstepped, forgive me. I’m learning how to best minister.

With that as background, let me revisit yesterday.

I had an occasion to take stock in myself based on some actions I’d taken. I’ll spare you the details. (Actually, it’s none of your business. So there.) It wasn’t that I’d done anything illegal or immoral – far from it – but it was a matter of me recognizing my boundaries. Knowing when to speak, knowing when to be quiet, knowing when to listen. Mostly, though,  it was knowing when someone had to face a trial, just them and God, and without me playing assistant to the Holy Spirit.

Then it occurred to me – “I don’t care.”

This is a paradox, because I do care. The epitaph on my tombstone will probably read “All In.”

Where the “don’t care” thought comes in is because of an awareness that in order for me to be a genuine family member, friend, or even acquaintance, I gotta protect myself. I gotta protect my heart. If I end up heartless, for whatever reason (and most likely, it’ll be because I laid it out there one time too many, or for the wrong reasons, or before the wrong person) – I’m sunk. I’m sidelined. I’m a wounded soldier in God’s army.

I’m happy to say that the horrific, dark, unscalable pit I found myself in is much less threatening. Thank you Jesus.

What it’s led me to do, though, is help me determine what my healthy heart should look like. I’m identifying seven personal signs. Maybe these might help you evaluate the state of your own heart. A healthy heart:

1. Can feel emotion. It fully engages in the spectrum of feelings. It isn’t flat-lined.

2. Is mindful and able to engage in the moment. It isn’t distant and aloof. It is present and feeling.

3. Has room for spontaneity, fun, and laughter. It isn’t bitter and shriveled. It enjoys good times.

4. Has compassion for lost and hurting people. It’s willing to appropriately risk itself for others. It’s caring, not callous.

5. Is hopeful and optimistic. It looks forward to the future because it believes that things can and will be better – if not on this side of eternity, at least in the hereafter. It isn’t pessimistic. At worst, it’s painfully realistic.

6. Has energy for people. It enjoys being with others. Note: Remember I’m a full-on introvert. But I do appreciate, enjoy, even need that interaction with others. It sort of has to be on my own terms, or else I have to fake it. Still. Tell me about your life, and give me the unabridged version, and I’m all yours.

7. Has the capacity to hear God’s prompting. It listens for Him. It is not inattentive and closed off. And it responds in obedience.

How about it, pilgrim? How is your heart?

It’s occurred to me that if I don’t care, that can conceivably be a positive thing for my own well-being.

However … I have to surrender to God. It’s a matter of abandoning my own independence, and not put any limits on how He leads me to. care. He’ll show me how. I don’t think I’m off the hook on that one.

Until I learn how to care appropriately, I can’t be who He put me here to be.

Be well.

Here’s an organization you don’t want to be a part of – the Dead Parents Society.

The name tells it all. It’s reserved for those who’ve lost one or both of their parents.

I suppose when you’ve lost both your parents, then you are technically an orphan. If that’s a proper definition, then I’ve been orphaned since 2002, when Mama died. Daddy died some years earlier. I was 46, but for some reason we think orphans are children. Maybe you can’t be an orphan past the age of 18, or 21. That seems arbitrary, but I didn’t make those rules.

When Mama was in the final stages of cancer, and we’d enlisted the services of hospice (which was a true holy godsend), I started the grieving process. When Mama actually died, I’d done most of my grieving in advance, so her actual passing was peaceful.

Like a combat veteran, I realized quickly that only those who’d been through the same experience could truly empathize. That’s not to say others weren’t appreciated – I heard plenty of sincere expressions of sympathy, and the condolences, cards, and the food (of course!) were more than welcome.

What was odd is that I found leaning into the grief was more helpful than ignoring it or tucking it away. It sounds morbid to talk about embracing pain, but that may be part of the healing process (more on that in a bit.)

There is that component, too, of people not knowing what to say to you as a newly-minted member of the Dead Parents Society. It’s like they mean well, because they do, but they’re afraid of making you hurt more than you already do. “I’m sorry about your loss,” people say, and they genuinely are. That’s a pretty safe statement. The companion question – “How are you?” – is much tougher to wrestle.

The impulse may be to simply say, “I’m fine,” which is totally bogus, because you aren’t fine. You say it anyway, because it lets the questioner off the hook. If, however, you shared how you really feel, you’d come across as being dark and unhealthy. The compromise statement might be, “I reckon I’m doing as well as could be expected,” which just reinforces the idea of loss and pain, even with other people who care.

Grieving is a solo activity. What you come to understand is that you can grieve appropriately and after a period get on with living. People lose loved ones all the time. Most make peace with their hearts; others don’t. What has happened is a rip in the fabric of life. Even as a believer, there is a horrific separation. We as humans want resolution, but there are some wounds that time does not heal.

So why all this talk about the Dead Parents Society?

I can broaden this conversation to apply to the loss of other loved ones – a spouse, a sibling, or most grievous, a child. Heck, I’ll extend this to the loss of a beloved pet.

Going for broke – how about the loss of a job, a friend, a dream? They are all painfully similar. Others may see your loss as a matter of degree. They may say “I’m sorry,” but in their minds they’re saying, “No big deal. Get over it.”

Loss is loss, and grief is grief, and don’t let anyone script that for you. It’s yours to carry.

I wish there was some way I could fix this for you and me and the rest of us. Fact is, when you’re orphaned because of a loss of something, anything meaningful to you, there is a loneliness that only you can experience.

As a believer, I’m tempted to talk about God, who has promised to never leave or forsake you. This is, of course, true. He is ever-present. He does heal. But for some reason, He didn’t design us to be carefree and just ignore the loss we experience. His presence is tangible. That is comfort, indeed, and it causes us to turn to Him.

And yet – dang, it hurts.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made, this is true. Part of our makeup is the capacity to mourn. What are we to learn in that valley of death?

Again, I’m going broad here. You don’t have to be part of the Dead Parents Society to find reason to mourn, even if you haven’t been touched by physical death.

Point is – there is nothing wrong with grief. It is a part of our human experience. Unless you’re a psychopath, at times you will grieve.

So. Lament. Lament loudly and cry out. I give you permission. The hurt we experience now will prepare us for joy in the future. Your wounds are a foundation to your calling.

I know that sounds pat. When some friends of ours lost their son in a horrific accident, I asked – rightly or wrongly – how I could pray for them. The dad’s answer? “Pray that I don’t waste this.”

Read what you will into this statement. I’ve thought about it often. My conclusion is that every life event, even those that involve unspeakable loss, are moments to grapple with what I believe about God, what I am to learn, and how I can, in turn, be an encouragement to others. My lessons aren’t your lessons, nor my experiences your experience. God has custom designed you, and handcrafted the events that you experience.

Yes, you will mourn. You will lament. But your loss doesn’t have to define your life. Those wounds prepare you to experience more joy.

Talk later.

There is a recently published book, Redeeming Heartache, by Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel, that provided the seed for some of my thoughts. I highly recommend it.

“I am a hot mess.” You ever feel that way?

The ever helpful Merriam -Webster Dictionary defines hot mess as

1 informal : something or someone that is emphatically a mess: such as

a: something in a state of extreme disorder or disarray, and b: a disorganized, disheveled, or self-destructive person

You are not alone, even if you are a hot mess.

So there’s that.

Mental health used to be a nonissue for me. I’ve always been an introvert, but introversion isn’t a mental illness any more than having blue eyes is a birth defect. It’s just a thing.

I can’t remember when depression started becoming an issue. I used to be a worrier, but on Oct. 12, 2016, I gave worrying up. It didn’t seem to help to worry. But that depression thing? Hoo-boy. That’s my hot mess place.

After I had my head injury about three years ago, that depression tended to cover me like a shroud. I struggled to explain it with metaphors; I likened it to being at the bottom of a well, looking up at that small circle of daylight, and feeling as though I’d never emerge into the light.

Cheerful, I know.

This blog is You Can Have Hope. It’s a very self-descriptive title.

I’d also point out that, given the state of our world, it’s hard not to be troubled. The world can make hot messes of us all.

Obviously, that’s Jesus. So how does that even work?

One of my first course offerings is this:

I’d be honored if you’d take a look. You’ll find it HERE.

I am offering this workshop for $37.

I don’t want to make this about me, because it’s NOT. It’s for you, or someone you love.

That link above will give you a lot more information. Again, I think part of God’s call on my life in these days is to simply be an encourager, and this feels like the best way I can do that.

I am a hot mess. I know of so many others that are dealing with their own hot messiness.

You are the one I’d like to reach, encourage, equip, and see set free. This will help.

“I’m stressed out.” You ever said that? Is that where you’re living right now?

Perhaps you’ve heard my testimony about dealing with mental and emotional issues, especially after my head injury and subsequent post-concussion syndrome for the last couple of years. It’s a thing, and I never dreamed I’d be that person that people would talk about saying, “Poor Tony. After he scrambled his brain, he never was the same again.”

That’s true, I guess. But I’m not stressed out because of that. Actually, I’m generally not stressed out anyway. I’m pretty chill. Depression is my Kryptonite; that’s not what we’re talking about today.

I watch people I know and love in recent days teeter on the verge of a “come apart” (and if you’re not a Southerner, I don’t know if that communicates well. If you’re one of my foreign readers, it just means that you are about to break down, have a fit, or conniption, or whatever.) They are legitimately stressed out.

What do you do if you’re in that state?

I have four thoughts to pass along.

1. If worry and anxiety are a problem for you, set aside a specific time of day for it. You think I’m kidding? I’m not. Don’t let it ruin your whole day. If worry creeps in and you’re stressed out, then jot it down and determine to put if off until your scheduled “worry time.” That compartmentalizes it, condenses it, and gives you freedom for the rest of the day. That’s actually a stopgap measure – we want to squelch stress and not have to make time for it.
2. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. I believe stress can be born from suppressed emotions – guilt, jealousy, hatred, anger, and envy can all cause huge anxiety. Sometimes you can figure out what the issue is. Other times, a professional needs to evaluate what’s happening. Once the emotion and its source are pinpointed, two things need to happen:
   1. Ventilate those feelings. Get them out. I’d say that you need to have a safe person to open up to. I’d start with the One who is always there, God Himself. He’s promised to never leave or forsake you. It’s all about confessing your thoughts and actions.
   2. Cultivate good friendships. This can be tricky, because I’m talking about more than just acquaintances. This will need to be someone who can keep confidences, someone who has your best interests at heart, and who won’t judge.
   3. The biggie? Accept God’s forgiveness for your weaknesses, but you absolutely, without question, need to forgive others you feel have done you wrong. There is no shortcut, and you cannot, under any circumstances as a child of God, excuse a lack of forgiveness. You can’t control  the actions of other folks, but you can always choose to forgive. That’s liberating.
3. Schedule and practice a quiet time. If you want to function and not be stressed out, then you need to have a definite time of solitude and reflection. Wondering how you can find the time for it? You just do. I assure you there are plenty of people who have fuller schedules than you who make this a priority. I promise you can find five minutes. That’s a great starting point.
   1. Meditation is a part of this. If you’re stressed out, this will help. I’m not talking about some eastern religion weird thing, but just a time to let God speak. You breathe. You find a natural rhythm. Be still and listen. Shhhh.
   2. Then there’s prayer. If you’re a stressed-out believer, this is crucial. Ancient script – from Philippians 4 – states: 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I love this because it speaks of God’s peace guarding our hearts and minds. Your rational mind can inform you that you have no reason to be stressed out, but we are anyway. It’s because your mind knows what’s happening but it hasn’t made it to your heart yet. Still – you can have peace. It’s a promise.
4. Be obedient. This is tough if you’re stressed out. Most of the time we’re very aware of God’s will, because it’s spelled out in scripture. We just have to do what we know we’re supposed to. Simple, right? Sometimes, not so much. Here’s the thing: we often wait until we’re faced with a big decision between right and wrong. Then we’re caught off guard and screw up. Well, the best time to make a decision is before circumstances force us to make a decision. Settle in your mind and heart that you’re going to follow God’s teachings, no matter what. If we fail (and we will), then we simply confess, agree with God we blew it, and move the heck on.

Obviously, this is not a comprehensive list of what to do when you’re stressed out.

I know our lives are hectic, demanding, and stressful. Even good things can contribute to that stress and anxiety – family, work, school, sports, and other activities. What can you do to deal with those pressures?

Just get as close to God as you can and roll with it.

Be well.

Stop pretending. There’s more to us being here than just existing.

Look what Oregon did:

The state of Oregon will now allow students to take an excused day off of school for mental health reasons.

The new law, signed last month by Gov. Kate Brown and expected to go into effect this fall, lets students take up to five mental health days every three months, although school districts are free to create their own schedules. Students will also be granted permission to make up any tests they may have missed.

“I took on this cause for a personal reason first off because so many of my close friends in high school struggled with depression, and there were times when I saw them at school when they really shouldn’t have been there, would have been much better for them to take a day off,” Hailey Hardcastle, a recent high school graduate who was among those lobbying for the new law, told TODAY.

In Oregon, suicide is the second leading cause of death among 10- to 34-year-olds. Nationally, suicide is at a 50-year high.

I’m not as sure as I used to be.

With all that as a backdrop, here’s three thoughts.

1. Our feelings are facts. Last night while I was watching TV it started raining.  That’s a fact. No matter how upset I got, it wouldn’t change the reality of the rain. If I’d stepped outside without an umbrella or rain gear, I’d get wet.

Our mental and emotional states are a lot like that. It’s pointless to deny our feelings. They need to be acknowledged. It’s not a matter of strength or weakness. It just is. Stop pretending.

I love C.H. Spurgeon. I’ve found a lot of helpful encouragement in a little book by Zack Eswine, Spurgeon’s Sorrows. I’ve referenced it before. Spurgeon knew that mental illness could be as devastating as physical illness:

“The mind can descend far lower than the  body. For [the mind] there are bottomless pits. The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds and no more, but the soul can bleed in ten thousand ways, and die over and over again each hour.”

Yikes.

This is nothing new, of course. Check out the Psalms. A goodly chunk of them are what are identified as psalms of lament. They are written testimonies of men in dark, dark places. For instance, here’s a sample from Psalm 88:

2. You need a friend. Even if you classify yourself as a loner, and could teach introversion on the graduate level, having a safe person to turn to is a virtual necessity. Of course, you could hire someone – there are counselors, therapists, and professional people galore – but talking about things with a friend is downright special.

Just make sure it’s someone who can do more good than harm. You don’t need someone telling you “It could be worse,” or “At least you know what you need to do.” Job had his “miserable comforters.” Maybe they meant well, but they wanted to blame Job for all he was facing. That’s not helpful. Stop pretending that some friends are helpful when they’re not.

I’m reminded of an old hymn, O Worship the King. One lyric line refers to God as “maker, defender, redeemer, friend.” I mean. That’s all I need from God as  comforter and counselor:

• • Maker. He put us together. We’re part of His creation. He knows intimately what makes you you, and because of that, He knows exactly where our heads and hearts  are at in any point in time, and He engineers circumstances around us accordingly.
  • Defender. He protects us. He guards us. God is an advocate for us. When you’re being attacked – and note that attacks can come from our own minds – He is a shield from the bad stuff. He’ll only let you experience what you absolutely need to experience.
  • Redeemer. He offered salvation, of course, and I received it. In addition, though, He saves me from myself. He knows when we’re stricken and offers deliverance from whatever is haunting us.
  • Friend. I can’t get my head wrapped around knowing the creator of the universe is my friend. He hopes for us when we don’t have hope for ourselves.

3. There is hope for the future. That may sound pat, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Yes, it’s raining, but I just looked at the radar. It’ll clear out soon. And guess what – it would clear out whether I looked at the radar or not. It isn’t a matter of me knowing what the future forecast is – it’s grounded in the nature of reality. The rain will stop soon.

We desperately need hope. Fortunately, it’s readily available. There are those with a certain worldview who’d state that they are a haphazard bundle of biological stuff, perched on an insignificant piece of cosmic real estate, simply biding their time in an indifferent universe. Their hope is that they can perhaps make a small difference in the temporal world they live in, but beyond that – nothing. The void. “You might as well live,” Dorothy Parker wrote. I’m convinced there’s more to us being here than just existing.

To the kids in Oregon (and perhaps to all of us), I’d say that there is real comfort and hope available.

There are many, many resources available to those dealing with mental/emotional issues. There is absolutely no shame in seeking out the help one needs, and that could involve counseling, therapy, medication, or any number of other tools.

Finally, there is this: Christ has risen. That’s the blessed hope right there. Stop pretending that you are hopeless, because you aren’t. Jesus has loved us to hell and back. We hope, not in denial of the state of ourselves, but rather in the certain glory promised us. There is a mountaintop joy awaiting. It all comes back to Him, you know? In Him, we have a legitimate reason to hope. I’m all for using whatever resources are available to us. But He is the Great Physician, and all healing – mental, emotional, physical – ultimately comes from Him.