Thanksgiving in Mississippi – it’s like any other Thanksgiving, but with a little more gravy and a lot more football! Now, I don’t mean to ruffle any turkey feathers, but let’s face it, in Mississippi, we’ve turned Thanksgiving into an Olympic sport, where the main events are eating and watching the Southeastern Conference football games.

First up, let’s talk about the feast. Down here, we don’t just eat on Thanksgiving; we embark on a culinary marathon. It’s like our stomachs suddenly believe they’re bottomless pits, and our plates become their training grounds. The turkey? That’s just the warm-up act. We’ve got casseroles, sweet potatoes, greens, and let’s not forget the dressing (not stuffing, mind you, we’re in the South). And for dessert, it’s a showdown between pecan pie and pumpkin pie – though why choose one when you can have both?

But the real magic happens when you’re so full you swear you can’t eat another bite, and then – voila! – you find just a smidgen of space for one more spoonful of grandma’s famous mac and cheese. It’s a Thanksgiving miracle!

Now, let’s pivot to the other Thanksgiving tradition that’s as essential as the turkey itself – SEC football. In Mississippi, football isn’t just a game; it’s a way of life, especially around Thanksgiving. This is when rivalries heat up, and family and friends gather around the TV, yelling advice to players who, let’s be honest, can’t hear us but we believe in our hearts they can.

There’s something special about watching a game, stuffed with turkey, surrounded by family, with the sound of your uncle passionately arguing about a referee’s call in the background. It’s like the stuffing to our Thanksgiving turkey – necessary and oh-so-satisfying. And whether you’re a die-hard fan or just there for the halftime show, there’s a sense of unity that comes from watching the game together.

So, as Thanksgiving rolls around in Mississippi, we embrace our two favorite pastimes: eating like there’s no tomorrow and getting way too emotional about college football. It’s a time of joy, a bit of overindulgence, and lots of cheering. Sure, we might need to loosen our belts a notch or two, but hey, that’s just part of the Thanksgiving charm.

And remember, when it’s fourth and inches on the dinner table, and you’re eyeing that last piece of pie like it’s the endzone, go for it. After all, it’s Thanksgiving – the one day when calories magically don’t count (or so we like to believe).

Happy Thanksgiving, Mississippi style!

 

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I asked my good pastor friend Bobby McKay to write a guest blog today. Bobby sent me this little meditation out of the blue a day or so ago, and I was so impressed and moved I wanted y’all to experience it, too.

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“Some folks remember the first time; some can’t forget the last.”

From the song Come On Come On by Mary Chapin Carpenter

I buried my last grandparent a month ago. Well, “buried” is not an altogether accurate description. A graveside service was not requested by the family so there was no formal gathering of folded chairs covered with the weird felt-like substance and no funeral home tent. Also absent was the green turf covering the ground. Minus the public internment, the outcome was just the same. The man in which I was partly named after was dead after nearly 90 years on planet earth. He was buried within a short distance of where he grew up, lived, left, returned to, and left again throughout his life. This time would be the last stop for his physical body; not too far from his parents and his wife of nearly 60 years who died 10 years earlier.

I was asked and elected to share a message for one simple reason: to honor my grandfather. Being the only grandson, I knew if I did not, I would have regret. My words in their entirety were short, totaling less than 20 minutes. The service was done in a seamless and anticlimactic fashion. I was able to get through the service without tears.

For me, tears (if they come) are always much later and in solitude. I am more cerebral in my grief. Grief is to be mostly processed, not proliferated.

I did not grow up near any of my family from either my mother or father’s side. I probably saw my grandparents on average 5 times a year. Cousins were people I saw on Thanksgiving and Christmas and aunts and uncles were almost like strangers to me.

However, there was one thing that has come to my realization within the last few days. There would be no more Christmases with the family members I grew up with. With the last passing of my grandparents, there would be no more gatherings, nothing to draw the tribe together in the future.

For my grandfather and for me, unbeknownst to either of us last year, this year will be the first Christmas with the presence of an empty chair (or in his case, recliner) in his house. Of course, no one enjoys going into a Christmas season looking through the lens of sadness or loneliness. Rather, we avoid such melancholy by often burying ourselves in busyness. Some of which is enjoyable. Parties, parades, and presents all have their place, but something about getting older I find each Holiday a bit more bittersweet than the previous.

Why must we lose such simple innocence?

Adding to this is the fact this will probably be the last year my youngest daughter sees Christmas with the eyes of a child. She still has trouble sleeping at night at just the thought of Christmas morning. Why must we lose such simple innocence?

This Christmas is setting itself up to be one of the heaviest in my life. If the doctors are correct, this will also be the last Christmas my dad will attempt to enjoy. While the details are too many to detail, his health is declining at a rapid pace. For him, it could be his last Christmas.

So, I am wrestling with how to make it memorable for him, but mostly for my children (his grandchildren). How would you approach Christmas if you knew it was your last? How do you approach Christmas if it is your first without a loved one? Is the answer to those two questions the same or entirely different? I think of the word “guarded.”

If I knew I would be entering my last Christmas season, I feel as I would carefully measure both my words and my time with great precision.

My youngest daughter loves Christmas music…all year long. I believe I wouldn’t complain about hearing the familiar jingles if I knew it could be the last time doing so. I would listen to my oldest daughter sing, but this time with my eyes closed and thank God for the talents she has been given. I think I would enjoy the town’s parade a bit more. I would drink an extra cup of Amy’s homemade hot chocolate. I wouldn’t even be bothered by the mass of people shopping for gifts. I surmise Advent would take on a more holy and personal tone in my expressions of faith.

I may or may not spend time thinking about the gifts I were to give, but I am sure I would be more concerned with the memories I would leave. I would sit down and have a good cry…and a good laugh. I would call some folks, hug some, and tell a few how much I loved them and thank them for loving me. I would eat the veal cutlets at Crystal Grill in Greenwood, Mississippi. I would go back to Standing Pine Baptist Church and remember it was there Jesus became real to me for the first time.

I would tell Amy I loved her and ask her to forgive me for the times I have ever hurt her or disappointed her. I would find a way to take Amy and the girls to the beach in Seaside, Florida. It is a place that is not my favorite, but I would cherish seeing them happy and smile one more time. I would make sure my life insurance premium was paid. I would tell my daughters they are my greatest gifts to the world. I would tell them nothing can bring you peace like Jesus and He is always faithful even when we are not. I would tell them when they chose to marry; if the man loves God, He will love you.

Maybe if I knew I was staring at my last Christmas in the face I would discover there is no real need to worry because it changes nothing. The opinions and expectations of others would diminish as my mortality began slipping away.

I think I would go hear more sermons and less time preparing and preaching them. Truthfully, I am reaching to guess anything I would do with my remaining time.

For each of us, there will come a time when we have celebrated our last Christmas and for the vast majority, we will not know when that will be. Maybe the key is to live and love as if each Holiday could be our last or at least be fully involved in the present tense by engaging each of the five senses God bestowed upon us.

At the same time, we should be mindful of many this Christmas as they navigate through these days for the first time without a loved one.

There is no guide for such things. There is no box to check to indicate you agree with the terms and conditions. You make the way by going forward, cherishing what you have and expressing thanks for the things and people that are no longer at arm’s length.

Life is to be lived, pondered and as much as possible; enjoy. It is a gift and there is no return policy. A life without serving others is one that is wasted.

In some of His last recorded words recorded in Scripture, Christ tells us He is the First and the Last. That means He is eternal. It is beyond our understanding to grasp the fact He is both indwelling the past and future at the same time. While such theological truths may escape our intellect, it does not mean it should escape our interest.

For most believers, knowing the fact that Christ is the Beginning and the End results in a great deal of comfort. To recognize He was there with us from the formation in the womb until we draw our last breath provides us with the hope needed to trust Him literally with life and death.

Let us not forget Christ Himself wants to be real to each of us. He desires to be with us much more than we desire to be with Him.

The real test is not the First and the Last aspects of Jesus’ benevolence, but rather it is the middle we wrestle with. It is the in-between times and seasons of our life where we so desperately need Jesus to be real to us. Let us not forget Christ Himself wants to be real to each of us. He desires to be with us much more than we desire to be with Him. His incarnation and atonement prove that.

It is in these “middle times” where we discover how much we really love Christ and how well we choose to worship Him in uncertain times.

The middle is where we spend most of our lives. Just as you have only one birthday, you will have onlyone death day. The middle is filled with weddings, birthday parties, vacations, school plays, soccer games, church services, traffic, entertainment, sunrises, sunsets, and a million other events, when collected, equal a life lived. Perhaps you go into your last Christmas like you should any other day: thankful and keenly aware that while our days may indeed be limited, they are of great importance.

This Christmas, thank God for the middle and celebrate Christ and the life provided byHim.

When you and I die, our life will be reduced by some to a couple of dates in an obituary. The first breath and the last one. This Christmas, thank God for the middle and celebrate Christ and the life provided by Him. While you are celebrating, take in every moment. Enjoy each moment as if it were your first…or your last. You won’t regret it.

Maxwell and me.

Some time back I was introduced to the concept of life coaching right here in Mississippi. My thoughts prior to this introduction were, “Yeah, right. Bogus.”

Well, I was so, so wrong.

Life coaching, turns out, is something I’m hard-wired for. I’m all about being an encourager and giving hope. But what if there was a way I could step out of that role and, rather than trying to teach, persuade, convince someone else, I was able to lead that other person to set their own agenda and goals and help them realize those goals?

I’m in.

If you want to scroll to the bottom and bypass all my musings, you’ll find a couple of links that will take you to more coaching information.

Spoiler: If you’re interested in being coached, the first session is absolutely free, no obligation. 

There was a bit of a problem. Anyone can call themselves a life coach. There’s no standardized certification process out there. It’s easy enough to find an online course that proposes to equip you as a life coach, but there’s no regulatory entity that determines whether someone is legit or not. It’s like the old days of massage therapy – anyone could call themselves a massage therapist, but now there are licensing standards in place. Currently, though, life coaching is like the Wild West. Fortunately, there are sound, professional ways to be trained.

If this were to be something I wanted to pursue, my commitment was to find the very best training and equipping I could. I researched for a long, long time.

I finally elected to get my training and be certified through the John Maxwell Team. I’m not afraid to use the term “gold standard.” It is recognized as the most comprehensive coaching training and curriculum available in the industry. It’s been challenging for me personally. This is a good thing. Coaching is my passion.

So, equipped by the best organization around as a coach, I’m ready to roll. And it’s all for you. My coaching involves the ability to understand you: to think how you think, and understand your perspective. From this benchmark, I will place another perspective on top of yours – stretching you and growing you gently to see a more empowering way. As a certified John Maxwell coach, I can see what you are going through now and what is up ahead. Coaching is foreseeing, paving the way, coming alongside you while helping you achieve goals and overcome what has limited you.

What is life coaching?

It’s a trendy concept, for sure. But let’s unpack this.

At its heart, it’s the process of helping you identify specific goals or certain things you want to accomplish, and then guiding you along the journey of reaching those goals. The beauty of life coaching is that it is applicable to any, and I mean ANY, component of your life.

It is driven by you. As the client with me, you develop and hold the agenda. It will be uniquely designed to serve only your success.

This process is broad and diverse. It can cover a whole host of benefits, such as dealing with immediate issues that are keeping you from growing, helping with personal communication and impact, and building a vision and plan against a life’s dream and goal.

This is a good time to share what coaching is not appropriate for:

• People with dependencies such as drugs and alcohol.
• Therapy for people who have suffered abuse
• A shoulder to cry on
• People who are abusing others
• People who are experiencing mental illness
• Counseling

Key point: therapists in some of the above fields deal with events that have happened in the past. Coaching is specifically about the present and the future. Coaches (this coach, anyway) is not qualified to deal with any past emotional trauma that is preventing you from moving forward.

Anytime. Anywhere. (sort of).

The beauty of the model I’ve adopted is that I can serve you from anywhere that has a wifi connection. So there’s the anywhere. The anytime is a little more iffy … obviously, there are day jobs, family responsibilities, and time zones to contend with.

We can make it work.

And for teenagers! (Just for parents.)

I’ve been working with teenagers vocationally for 40 years. That’s nuts. But I’ve also added working with teens to my services.

When it comes to coaching teenagers so that they will want to do better in school, make good decisions, become more responsible, etc., my philosophy comes down to two core ideas:

1. Teaching them to become self-motivated
2. Helping them find their purpose & meaning to life

The first step in helping your child become a responsible young adult is to teach them how to become self-motivated.

When they are children, they rely on you the parent to be the driving force behind their life. But as they mature, they are going to need to learn how to become self-motivated so that they are now the driving force behind their life.

This is why many parents struggle with getting their kids to do their homework, clean their room, brush their teeth, and do all the things they need to do to become responsible and independent.

Because they are not self-motivated and lack structure and discipline.

One of the biggest challenges you as a parent will face is to help keep your child focused on developing good habits rather than drifting on bad ones (i.e. too much TV, social media, video games, etc.)

The second step in helping your child become a responsible young adult is to teach them how to find purpose and meaning in their life.

Because you have been the driving force in their life (up until now), your child has not had a reason as to “why” they should behave more responsibly.

So many parents struggle to get their kids to do the things they need to do and it’s because most kids don’t have a good reason as to “why” they should. They don’t see what’s in it for them.

However, once they identify their purpose in life, now they have meaning which will be the driving force (instead of you) as to “why” they will do their homework, clean their room, be more focused, and make better choices.

To summarize…

Your child is not lazy or unmotivated.

Just tell them that you are going to take them to the amusement park or out shopping and they will move at lightning speed.

The reason why most teenagers “look” lazy or unmotivated is because they have not associated all the things you want for them as a benefit from their perspective.

Once they make the connection, you will see your child become more focused and driven without you having to drag them every step of the way.

So if you want to…

Help your child become more driven, responsible, confident, and focused so that they make good decisions and become a healthy, happy, and successful young adult…I can help.

If any of this intrigues you, you can get details right here.

Are you concerned about your teenager? Check things out here.

The John Maxwell Team faculty. World-class. The gentleman punching me in the stomach is Christian Simpson, my primary instructor.