It’s okay to not be okay. There’s more to us being here than just existing.

Look what Oregon did:

The state of Oregon will now allow students to take an excused day off of school for mental health reasons.

The new law, signed last month by Gov. Kate Brown and expected to go into effect this fall, lets students take up to five mental health days every three months, although school districts are free to create their own schedules. Students will also be granted permission to make up any tests they may have missed.

“I took on this cause for a personal reason first off because so many of my close friends in high school struggled with depression, and there were times when I saw them at school when they really shouldn’t have been there, would have been much better for them to take a day off,” Hailey Hardcastle, a recent high school graduate who was among those lobbying for the new law, told TODAY.

In Oregon, suicide is the second leading cause of death among 10- to 34-year-olds. Nationally, suicide is at a 50-year high.

I’m working on unpacking this. My sense is that it’s okay to struggle, but not okay to pretend.

With all that as a backdrop, here’s three thoughts for when you’re not okay.

1. Our feelings are facts. The sun is shining right now. It’s a fact. No matter how upset I get, it won’t change the reality of the sunshine. If I were to step outside and stay out for a while, I’d get sunburned.

Our mental and emotional states are a lot like that. It’s pointless to deny our feelings. They need to be acknowledged. It’s not a matter of strength or weakness. It just is.

I love C.H. Spurgeon. I’ve found a lot of helpful encouragement in a little book by Zack Eswine, Spurgeon’s Sorrows. I’ve referenced it before. Spurgeon knew that mental illness could be as devastating as physical illness:

“The mind can descend far lower than the  body. For [the mind] there are bottomless pits. The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds and no more, but the soul can bleed in ten thousand ways, and die over and over again each hour.”

Yikes.

This is nothing new, of course. Check out the Psalms. A goodly chunk of them are what are identified as psalms of lament. They are written testimonies of men in dark, dark places. For instance, here’s a sample from Psalm 88:

2. You need a friend. Even if you classify yourself as a loner, and could teach introversion on the graduate level, having a safe person to turn to is a virtual necessity. Of course, you could hire someone – there are counselors, therapists, and professional people galore – but talking about things with a friend is downright special.

Just make sure it’s someone who can do more good than harm. You don’t need someone telling you “It could be worse,” or “At least you know what you need to do.” Job had his “miserable comforters.” Maybe they meant well, but they wanted to blame Job for all he was facing. That’s not helpful.

I’m reminded of an old hymn, O Worship the King. One lyric line refers to God as “maker, defender, redeemer, friend.” I mean. That’s all I need from God as  comforter and counselor:

• • Maker. He put us together. We’re part of His creation. He knows intimately what makes you you, and because of that, He knows exactly where our heads and hearts  are at in any point in time, and He engineers circumstances around us accordingly.
  • Defender. He protects us. He guards us. He is an advocate for us. When you’re being attacked – and note that attacks can come from our own minds – He is a shield from the bad stuff. He’ll only let you experience what you absolutely need to experience.
  • Redeemer. He offered salvation, of course, and I received it. In addition, though, He saves me from myself. He knows when we’re stricken and offers deliverance from whatever is haunting us.
  • Friend. I can’t get my head wrapped around knowing the creator of the universe is my friend. He hopes for us when we don’t have hope for ourselves.

3. There is hope for the future. That may sound pat, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Yes, it’s sunshiny, but I just looked at the radar. There is no rain in the forecast. And guess what – the sun would continue to shine whether I looked at the radar or not. It isn’t a matter of me knowing what the future forecast is – it’s grounded in the nature of reality. The sun will shine the rest of the day.

We desperately need hope. Fortunately, it’s readily available. There are those with a certain worldview who’d state that they are a haphazard bundle of biological stuff, perched on an insignificant piece of cosmic real estate, simply biding their time in an indifferent universe. Their hope is that they can perhaps make a small difference in the temporal world they live in, but beyond that – nothing. The void. “You might as well live,” Dorothy Parker wrote. I’m convinced there’s more to us being here than just existing.

To the kids in Oregon (and perhaps to all of us), I’d say that there is real comfort and hope available. There are many, many resources available to those dealing with mental/emotional issues. There is absolutely no shame in seeking out the help one needs, and that could involve counseling, therapy, medication, or any number of other tools.

There is finally this: Christ has risen. That’s the blessed hope right there. Jesus has loved us to hell and back. We hope, not in denial of the state of ourselves, but rather in the certain glory promised us. There is a mountaintop joy awaiting. It all comes back to Him, you know? In Him, we have a legitimate reason to hope. I’m all for using whatever resources are available to us. But He is the Great Physician, and all healing – mental, emotional, physical – ultimately comes from Him.

Jehovah-Jireh: A study on hope, revisited.

So, conspiracy theories. Do you enjoy them? If you do, you’re probably the happiest you’ve ever been.

I’ve been thinking about the mechanics and mindset of how conspiracy theories work. My conclusion is that conspiracy theorists can often create a world that is much worse than the one they actually live in.

This may seem like an odd topic for a blog that proposes to be encouraging and uplifting. I intend to take this to a virtuous place, and we’ll end up there. Promise.

I’d add, too, that this isn’t about COVID, necessarily. The pandemic (or whatever it is, assuming you don’t buy into the notion that this is a pandemic) is a ripe place to look for conspiracy theories, but it certainly isn’t the only place. I’ll strive mightily not to judge you or your beliefs – I have my own, as do you. So, no condemnation.

I’ll make a distinction between conspiracy theories and plots. History is rife with plots – starting wars, planning assassinations, even the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. A conspiracy theory, though, operates in a different realm. I’ll give you an example.

I’m old enough to remember the assisination of President Kennedy. The official final word is that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. But did he? I won’t use my space here to delve into other theories, because there are a gazillion out there. 

Here’s what common sense would say. Kennedy was considered the leader of the free world, right? Isn’t that the traditional title bestowed on the President of the United States? So is it plausible that a “nobody” could pull off such a heinous act? I mean, isn’t it more reasonable to assume that someone or a group equally as powerful as Kennedy had to have been responsible? Because if an Oswald could pull something like this, then none of us are safe.

Well, that’s kinda scary. So the natural human impulse is to seek out what really happened, because the thought that one person, working alone,  could assassinate the President is much more disconcerting than believing there was a worldwide conspiracy in place. 

Who, then, benefits in a conspiracy theory? If you want to use COVID as an example, then in whose interest is it for people to stay home, be unemployed, be inactive, lose jobs and income, place stress on close relationships, and watch as their mental, physical, and emotional health collapses. Who are the “they” that benefit from all this? 

I think it is reasonable to assume that there are plenty of bad people out there who would relish the opportunity to profit from a tragedy. It happens all the time. Many years ago my hometown of Elba, Alabama, was flooded by a breach in the levy that surrounded the town. My parents’ home was right in the flood zone. As soon as the water subsided, it wasn’t long before they heard a knock at the door. There was a large truck and trailer, and a crew of men who wanted to pull up the existing ruined carpet in their house and replace it with fresh new carpet.

As it turns out, this was a legitimate business. My parents accepted their offer and had new carpet in a couple of days. The company made some money off my parents, money that wouldn’t have come their way if the flood hadn’t occurred. But did the carpet company cause the breach in the levy? Uh, no. 

Because of some odd quirk in human nature, we assume there is a “they” out there. Off the top of my head, I can think of the Freemasons, the Illuminati, scientologists, FEMA, the New World Order, the Federal Reserve, Halliburton, Google, the Vatican, Bildurberg, Walmart, the Rothchilds, the Knights Templar, the UN, Skull and Bones, the Koch brothers, George Soros, the Trilateral Commission, the Knights of Malta, Exxon Mobil, Zionists, and the lizard people,  who might be considered “they.” 

“They” are at the heart of conspiracy theories.

So if the world is beaten down to a place of despair, famine, illness, and chaos, “they” benefit. “They” will force us to do awful things, like convert to the metric system or listen to atonal music. 

What happens is that conspiracy theorists piece together a narrative based on snippets of evidence. Problem is that they don’t ask themselves if such a conspiracy actually exists. They don’t challenge their own thinking. Rather, they simply want the essential parts of their story to mesh with the beliefs they identify with. (Read that again.) It’s easier for some to believe in lizard people running the world, because that absolves them from accepting the reality that we live in a fallen world where bad things – disease, poverty, natural disasters, etc. – happen, and happen frequently. 

The impulse is to find scapegoats – someone has to be responsible for the bad.And that someone is out to get us. And, by golly, we won’t be enslaved by some nefarious overlord.

If you’re still with me, hear this: evil is rampant in the world. Satan wants to destroy. He uses human agents to further his wicked purposes. This is a fact. If you are a believer, you know this already. More on that later.

The problem is that we can struggle with identifying what is real wickedness. I’d suggest that conspiracy theories are, in themselves, potentially satanic. Conspiracy theories divert us into looking at imaginary, irrational beliefs rather than identifying where the true evil lies. 

Conspiracy theorists tend to flock together. There is much comfort in hanging out with those of like mind. It’s sort of like England during the World War II blitz – “we are all suffering together, and we need to mount some kind of resistance.”

Resisting evil is always appropriate. Fight it tooth and nail. Just make sure you’re fighting a real enemy and not some imaginary boogeyman. 

I’ve observed that people resent it when I’m not as troubled as much by the world as they are. I see evidence of that in veiled or sometimes overt putdowns. Using terms like “sheeple” or being encouraged to “wake up” are very revealing. Devaluing me is not a good way to bring me around to your way of thinking.

Conspiracies are like chains. The more involved in a conspiracy, the more likely it will be outed, just like that weakest link will snap. Conspiracies won’t stay a secret when there are a lot of people involved. Occam’s Razor comes into play here, too – what’s the most likely scenario? It’s going to be the simplest. Conspiracy theorists always give people more ability and competency than they actually have.

Speaking to my fellow Americans … most of us have never experienced a major catastrophe. We missed the 1918 flu epidemic, we missed the Great Depression, and for the most part missed the two world wars. We’ve seen bad things happen in other countries, but not in ours. So if we’re being submitted to a major catastrophe these days, there has to be a deliberate hand at work, right? There has to be a plot of some sort of evil human design. That’s the way many people try to make sense of it.

I’ll say this again. We live in a fallen world. We deal with evil in tangible and spiritual ways alike. Before Jesus returns, we will continue to live in this fallen world. What are we to do? 

We are to fight the real evils, not the sensationalized, hysterical, unreal monsters. Let’s make a difference in the life of that terrified young lady who is pregnant and alone, or the neighbor who is dealing with their spouse who is terminally ill, or the family who, through no fault of their own, has had their electricity turned off because both the mom and dad are out of work and struggling to find jobs. 

Be salt and light. Encourage the downtrodden with words and deeds. If you want to invest in something, invest in that individual who is yearning for Jesus and doesn’t even know it. Use the energy you’re expending in wondering what the Freemasons are up to into the life of someone you can actually impact with Christ’s love.

Talk later! And remember – it’s always appropriate to look in the mirror from time to time and say, “You know, I could be wrong.”

“You have a bad attitude.”

Lord knows I’ve used that phrase a gazillion times over my years in youth ministry. Kids would come slumping into the youth room and just glare at me, as if saying, “Prove to me this is worth my time.”

With my own kids, I didn’t use that phrase much. If they rolled their eyes at me, or gave me any other body language hints, chances are we’d have some intense fellowship.

So. You ever have one of those weeks when it seems like the cosmos is conspiring against you? That hammers your attitude. It gives you an excuse to have a bad one.

I had one of those weeks a while back. I was mightily annoyed at the world. It started one morning when I had to buy gas. I watched that counter on the pump speed along, and I got to the point where I felt like I needed to look under the car to see if gas was leaking on the ground. Whatcha gonna do?

There was a hiccup at work that I made a much bigger mental deal out of than I should.

I was sidelined with the Mother of All Migraines.

I felt like my relationships – basically, all of them – were out of whack.

Several people that I love much were and are facing legitimate crises. Here comes Tony, riding in on that white steed, ready to rescue folks from their woes. I was by-golly gonna fix things.

And the chickens aren’t laying because they’re moulting. Oh, horrors!

And you’re saying, dang, Tony. Get over yourself. None of that is all that awful. You need an attitude adjustment.

Hey, guess what? You do too. If not now, you will soon enough.

What happens to most of us is that we get so annoyed that we start making bad decisions that can lead to even worse ones. You end up with awful consequences and circumstances. and you know they’re self-inflicted. It’s a vicious cycle.

So, operating like I tend to do, I thought way too much about my attitude and how to fix it. I came up with five truths, and a couple of ’em ain’t so pleasant. Stay with me; I’ll see if I can end on a positive note. These aren’t in any particular order.

ONE – It can get worse. Often it will.

This is me belaboring the obvious. Don’t ever say it can’t get any worse. You’ve no doubt experienced it – it’s like not being able to catch a break. It can be pretty benign things, like watching grocery prices skyrocket. Or it can be a loved one who is sick, and instead of getting better, gets sicker. This isn’t me being pessimistic; I’m just noting what I’ve observed and experienced. Welcome to the club, right? This can really work on your attitude.

TWO – No matter what you do, you can’t stop life’s bad turns.

Accept this as the bitter truth it is. But it’s not really bitter, now is it? Because those bad turns will test you, sift you, refine you, and purify you. Someone will badmouth you. Your plans get scrapped or defeated. You can get hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. But at this point your life can take a dramatic turn for the better once you learn and internalize that truth. The universe isn’t out to get you. But there are plenty of things you’re powerless to stop.

THREE – You can live happily in spite of life’s ups and downs.

My fingers are typing that, but my mind and heart are trying to reject it. Here is rock-solid truth, though, and it exists outside of your opinion: You can live happily when you depend on Jesus Christ daily and trust in God’s sovereignty and purposes. I mean, sheesh, one of the most beloved verses in all of scripture addresses this. Paul learned how to be content no matter what – he realized that he could do all things through Christ who gave him strength.

I hope you can see that through a fresh set of eyes. We all wear me-centered contact lenses, and that doesn’t help our attitude at all. The trick is to see yourself and your world through God’s eyes – believers are supernaturally equipped to do that – and once that happens, you can be freed from your circumstances. I wish I had a one-two-three outline that would teach you how to do that. I don’t. I just know it’s promised.

FOUR – How you react is more important than what happens to you.

Oh, man. Read that again.

Because, for the most part, you can’t do squat about what happens to you. What you can do – and what you have to do to fix your attitude – is understand you do have control over your response to hard times. It’s called the power to choose, and if there were superpowers available to anyone, this is one you’d want.

Your response to situations can be personally enlightening. Your response is what you are. 

This is a spiritual act of worship, if you want to take a look at the first few verses of Romans 12. The authentic truth is that you have to decide who is in charge of your attitude. Finally –

FIVE – God is the one Who allows – even wills – things to happen, and that includes everything that enters your life.

It comes down to who’s in control of your attitude. Am I right?

If you keep your own counsel, internalize your frustrations, and nurse your rotten attitude like a growing plant, you are in for an unpleasant life.

Here’s our assignment: When you’re frustrated, irritated, or even feeling crushed and overwhelmed, do a gut check and determine why you feel or are responding that way. This means you’ll have to disengage emotionally, as best you can. Look at what got you to this state.

Here’s where the dreaded “D” word comes into play. You have to discipline yourself to use God-centered vision instead of me-centered vision. And here’s where the power to choose comes in. You can choose how you want to view things.

At that point, you can anticipate a little miracle. God will adjust your attitude. You’ll be able to discern His hand, even if it doesn’t make sense.

Ancient script says this, in Philippians 2:5 and 4:12-13:

Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus … I know how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.

Talk later!

“I don’t care.”

I actually said that yesterday. That is an alien phrase for me. Lord knows that I tend to care too much, if that’s possible. Or, maybe, I don’t care in the way I should.

I’ve mentioned in these pages many times that my tendency is to be a “fixer”- of people and things. What that reveals to me about myself is that I’m actually pretty self-serving. If I can fix someone, or at least show that I care, then I can feel better about myself. Maybe that’s some weird form of co-dependency – I’m validated when I reach out to someone I think is dealing with junk, and they respond in gratitude.

That’s kinda sick, y’know?

Let me hasten to say that I do care, deeply, for many people. I’m just continually learning how to express that care without trying to set things right. It’s better for me to simply be around, supportive, than trying to correct things.

So if I’ve ever had personal dealings with you, and I’ve overstepped, forgive me. I’m learning how to best minister.

With that as background, let me revisit yesterday.

I had an occasion to take stock in myself based on some actions I’d taken. I’ll spare you the details. (Actually, it’s none of your business. So there.) It wasn’t that I’d done anything illegal or immoral – far from it – but it was a matter of me recognizing my boundaries. Knowing when to speak, knowing when to be quiet, knowing when to listen. Mostly, though,  it was knowing when someone had to face a trial, just them and God, and without me playing assistant to the Holy Spirit.

Then it occurred to me – “I don’t care.”

This is a paradox, because I do care. The epitaph on my tombstone will probably read “All In.”

Where the “don’t care” thought comes in is because of an awareness that in order for me to be a genuine family member, friend, or even acquaintance, I gotta protect myself. I gotta protect my heart. If I end up heartless, for whatever reason (and most likely, it’ll be because I laid it out there one time too many, or for the wrong reasons, or before the wrong person) – I’m sunk. I’m sidelined. I’m a wounded soldier in God’s army.

I’m happy to say that the horrific, dark, unscalable pit I found myself in is much less threatening. Thank you Jesus.

What it’s led me to do, though, is help me determine what my healthy heart should look like. I’m identifying seven personal signs. Maybe these might help you evaluate the state of your own heart. A healthy heart:

1. Can feel emotion. It fully engages in the spectrum of feelings. It isn’t flat-lined.

2. Is mindful and able to engage in the moment. It isn’t distant and aloof. It is present and feeling.

3. Has room for spontaneity, fun, and laughter. It isn’t bitter and shriveled. It enjoys good times.

4. Has compassion for lost and hurting people. It’s willing to appropriately risk itself for others. It’s caring, not callous.

5. Is hopeful and optimistic. It looks forward to the future because it believes that things can and will be better – if not on this side of eternity, at least in the hereafter. It isn’t pessimistic. At worst, it’s painfully realistic.

6. Has energy for people. It enjoys being with others. Note: Remember I’m a full-on introvert. But I do appreciate, enjoy, even need that interaction with others. It sort of has to be on my own terms, or else I have to fake it. Still. Tell me about your life, and give me the unabridged version, and I’m all yours.

7. Has the capacity to hear God’s prompting. It listens for Him. It is not inattentive and closed off. And it responds in obedience.

How about it, pilgrim? How is your heart?

It’s occurred to me that if I don’t care, that can conceivably be a positive thing for my own well-being.

However … I have to surrender to God. It’s a matter of abandoning my own independence, and not put any limits on how He leads me to. care. He’ll show me how. I don’t think I’m off the hook on that one.

Until I learn how to care appropriately, I can’t be who He put me here to be.

Be well.

So I’m sitting here in a local restaurant, Primos Cafe, waiting on Teresa to finish up physical therapy. She’s doing pretty well after her knee replacement a couple of weeks ago.

While sitting here, I’ve been perusing social media. Y’all, I’m telling you – while Covid cases are plummeting here in my neck of the woods, I’m struck with just how many people are angry, upset, scared, threatened – actually all of the above. Terms like socialism, communism, Nazism, are all thrown around so much that they’re meaningless. Folks are bemoaning the state of the country and of the world.

At the root of this, I believe, is simple fear. I won’t analyze what kind of fear, or how it manifests itself, but it seems to be a fear of chaos, of things horribly out of order, uncontrollable, and prevalent. No one seems immune.

Some time back I developed a workshop/course called Cruising Through Chaos. My intent was to equip folks with the proper emotional, mental, and spiritual tools to not only survive the chaos we find ourselves in, but to even thrive in the midst of it.

I wanted to call it to your attention again.

This is a paid program. It’s worth a nominal investment if you think you or a loved one can benefit.

You’ll find it on my course platform, Transformational Encouragement Academy.

Some questions about it always crop up. Let me address some of them:

Is this just another self-help rah-rah program?

That term, self-help, just doesn’t explain what I want to see in you. There are a couple of gazillion self-help programs out there on every topic imaginable. I’m not knocking them … I’ve been a fan of folks like Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Michael Hyatt, and scores of others like them. What makes this different, methinks, is that it is grounded heavily in scripture, and the principles I share will bear that out. But if it motivates you, that is a good thing.

So is this workshop just for Christians?

It’s not intended to be. I’d like to think the principles I share are universal. But, if you want to onboard with me, you do need to understand the context I’m coming from. I won’t apologize or back down from that. I’m not trying to “proselyte.” I’m an absolute truth kind of guy – truth, by definition, is not relative. I intend to bombard you with truth as revealed in scripture, but in a very applicable, meaningful way.

Is this going to smack of anything political?

Not just NO but HECK no.

Can I anticipate and expect life change in five days?

You know I’d offer a resounding “YES” to that question. Here’s why: we are all products of decisions we’ve made, and often we make a decision in the space of 30 seconds that can totally alter the trajectory of our lives. By that same token, we can take steps right now that will do the same thing. Understand this – if you embrace the principles I share, and follow them to the bone, you will absolutely see change in five days. My disclaimer? Personal growth is a process. You’ll be hammering on that all the days of your life. My goal is to plant that seed, watch it germinate, and then see that little green plant peek its head above the soil. Water and fertilizer are your responsibility then, but the growth has already begun.

I’ve tried to “fix” myself in days past. It didn’t last. What would make this any different?

Glad you asked. You won’t like my answer, but you still gotta love me. If I don’t provide you with the proper tools and teach you the proper skill set, then I’ve failed. If I don’t give you the best I have, which has been prayed over and fretted over, then I’ve blown it. But if I give you the best I have and you don’t take advantage of it – say you work one or two lessons and bail, or slough through the workbook and journaling, I’m not the one who failed. It’s going to come down to the “D” word – discipline. My sense is that anyone can manage five days. That’s the reason I wanted to put those constraints on it. It’s not supposed to be a quick fix, but I did want you to see results quickly. I’m not beating up on you. I totally get it. If you blow it, just take a break and start over. Like Zig said, “Failure is an event, not a person.”

Can I share this with others?

Well, you should. I think there’s some potential for some small group study here. Iron sharpens iron, y’know, and that extra layer of accountability sure wouldn’t hurt.

If this is so helpful, why do I have to pay for it?

Fair enough. On my end, there were development costs, hosting costs, and all sorts of other intangibles. I want this to be more than an expensive hobby for me! There also is some significant sweat equity involved in putting this thing together. I’d like to make some profit. I’m just being frank. Finally, there is seldom, if ever, something for nothing. It’s often said “you get what you pay for.” I wanted for you to have more than you paid for. I priced it so you can just grab it and go. You’re welcome!

What makes you an expert?

Simple. My story is your story.

We all deal with challenges, do we not? Life is full of joy and heartache in equal measure. Everyone faces something.

Many people respond to life with despair, or at least a sense of hopelessness.

Well, I am here to stand before you and declare that hopelessness is not an option.

I’ve had life experiences that were killer, and by God’s grace, they’ve been overcome. I’ve added those experiences to this workshop.

I am here to tell you that what I have for you is FIRE.

Check it out. Be blessed.

Once more, here’s the link.

NOTE: Thanks for indulging me in a day off last week. Here’s why.

No condemnation. That’s sounds pretty wonderful, right? It’s the birthright of the Christian, and sometimes that’s easily forgotten. 

I want to unpack that thought some (that’s from Romans 8:1), but in order to do that, I need to unpack some other things. Stick with me – what might come across as pointless rambling should make sense in the end. (Or not – maybe this will be rambling. So sue me.)

About three weeks ago I had one of my best Walt Disney World experiences ever. The crowds, the weather, my traveling companions – just sublime. Disney is my happy place, and I don’t apologize for that sentiment, nor do I want to try to explain it. I can’t. It’s just a thing.

So I come back to Mississippi, all content and feeling warm and satisfied, and I’m ready to ease back into reality and return to my day job. 

I guess it was Friday, September 17, that I started noticing a headache. Without picking over old wounds, you may or may not be aware that in June of 2018 I got a nasty concussion, developed post-concussion syndrome, and to some extent still deal with the aftermath.

Funny how your whole life can be defined by one incident! It’s turned me into something of an evangelist about brain trauma, but more specifically the mental and emotional fallout that comes with it. It’s made me much more in tune with people dealing with mental illness, whatever the cause.

The drum I continually beat is all about there being no shame with mental illness – because it’s an illness just like any other. And that it’s appropriate, and maybe even necessary, to get the proper care, be that through counseling, medication, or other means.

And prayer? Heck yeah. But God has all sorts of healing tools at His disposal, and it’d be foolish not to ask for them and use them. Gradually, the stigma about mental illness is fading away. Shamefully,  it still exists among some Christians, who look on it as a lack of faith or weakness or unconfessed sin. Well, y’all, sometimes you can’t just pray yourself out of it.

I talk about this too much, possibly. Whatever. You have your “things,” I have mine. Start your own blog if you want and I’ll indulge you, too.

So, this headache crept up on me and escalated during the weekend. Migraines are a byproduct of my injury, it seems. I even get pain-free migraines, which is odd, but they come with that “aura,” which is beyond bizarre – sensitivity to light and noise, a scary inability to think clearly, and sometimes even visual artifacts. 

By Sunday night I was facing the apocalypse, and come Monday I’m ready to head to the ER. I give myself a shot every month which does a decent job of staving these beasts off, and I have other meds to take when I do get one that are generally effective. Not this time, friend.

I got a call into the neurologist – I have the best one in existence, I believe. They were going to work me in Tuesday, but it’s Monday, and I’m screaming. Silently, anyway. She said for me to go ahead and see my regular doc. I went to one of our clinics, and the doc said, well, dang. You aren’t having a stroke or aneurism. She gave me a med that was supposed to help. It didn’t move the needle at all.

So after thrashing around for another day, moving to that realm of “kill me or cure me,” I got in to see the good Dr. Jones. Calmly and compassionately she told me,”We can take care of this,” and after some encouragement got me a couple of shots of good medicine and sent home a sample of this stuff called Rayvow. 

(I know this is coming across as senior adult talk – ailments, meds, all that. I am a senior adult. Deal with it.)

When given the Rayvow, I had strict instructions to not drive, to not make any important decisions, all that. She told me, “Not only will this keep you from thinking clearly, you won’t be aware you aren’t thinking clearly.” When I read the literature about this stuff, one of the side effects was “euphoria,” which is medspeech for “you are gonna get really high.” This stuff isn’t a narcotic. I don’t know what class it’s in. But ho-lee cow.

I took it about 7 a.m. Wednesday. I made sure Teresa stuck around long enough to make sure I didn’t get in the car and drive to New Hampshire or something. Within a half hour, I was sailing. I was very content … all was right in the universe. I was very chatty, even when I was alone. So I had some lovely conversations with myself. It was well into the afternoon before I felt like I could get my landing gear down and function. Most importantly, that stinkin’ headache was gone. Poof.

Part of recovery from this nastiness was to stay off anything with a screen. I did, mostly. No TV, no phone. I didn’t try to read. I just listened to music (ambient spa goofiness) and looked out the window. The goal was to avoid as much mental input as possible. Which meant that, with no input, I would instead default to my usual state of overthinking, which, when I was able to think, is just exactly what I did.

Which brings me back, finally, to Romans 8, and Romans 7, too, that no condemnation thing. Here are my takeaways, which grew out of my week from hell:

1. I am a slave to sin, and you are too. Just as I was a slave to a headache that wouldn’t go away, we’re all slaves to sin that contaminates us. And like my migraine, self-help is no help. I had to turn to a professional. I also need to turn to God, because to try to stop sinning on my own? Give me a break.
2. That migraine pain was such that I couldn’t think clearly – it overrode everything else. Sin can do that – Paul talks about not understanding what he was doing, that he wasn’t practicing what he wanted to do. 
3. Paul calls himself a “wretched man,” based on the conflict he’s feeling. He talks about taking delight in God’s law internally, but everything else is “waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of your body.” In fleshly terms, it’s really tough when your mind and heart want to do one thing but in body you have rebellion. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, right? My head sure impacted everything else my body might’ve wanted to do. 
4. Check out this line: “For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it.” My obvious parallel is that I want to do the right thing, I want to be rid of what’s crippling me, but I simply can’t do it on my own. 

But then comes the “no condemnation” part. Glory be to Jesus.

I have no reason to beat myself up for something that happened years ago and that I have no inherent fleshly control over. This may be stretching the analogy, but I’m not responsible for being born a sinner. I’m a sinner by nature and by choice. So I should choose, then, to do the right thing. I can’t be in bondage to something that happened that was and is out of my hands.

It’s human to try to better ourselves or want to clean ourselves up or to “do more.” We want to hit a “reset” button every day. 

It’s pretty hard to relax with God if we think we’re just a tiny bit detestable to Him as we currently are.

Well, pilgrim, we’re neglecting a basic message of Christianity – that we already died with Christ. So we try to die again or die more. 

But our old self already died with Him on a cross. We didn’t just die – we were resurrected and made new at the core.

So why are we trying to kill what has already been made new?

Lay aside any toxic thoughts of “not good enough.”

It is finished. 

“It’s mandatory.” Just that phrase makes me cringe.

“Mandatory” is very much a loaded word these days. You know where I’m going with this.

The word “mandatory,” of late, has been followed by either “masks” or “vaccinations.” That’s some dumpster fire stuff right there. And divisive? Ho-lee cow.

I’ll be back to this in a minute.

I’m thinking back over my lifetime, which is a challenge for someone who has trouble remembering his own name. Has there been a time when we as Americans were genuinely united?

There have been a couple of times I can recall. In 1969, we were all so collectively proud of our moon landing. I was actually in Venice, Italy, when the “giant leap for mankind” took place. St. Mark’s Square was dotted with televisions all over the historic plaza, with groups of people crowded in close. Occasionally, a cheer would go up – from Americans, no doubt. That was an event we got behind.

More recently – although to many this is ancient history – was the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001. Can it be 20 years? Wow. If you’re of a certain age, you remember just exactly where you were when the first tower was hit. I was pulling up in the parking lot of the Mississippi Baptist Convention Board when one of my coworkers walked up as I was getting out of the car. “Have you heard?” he asked, and went on to share what had happened. I hustled up to my office, found a livestream, and sat transfixed.

For a little while, at least, we were united against a common foe. That unity didn’t last long.

Then along came COVID-19.

I won’t rehash the last year-and-a-half. I’ll just bet you thought we were done with this scourge back in the spring. Businesses were reopening, we were shedding our masks, and vaccinations were available. Social distancing became less prevalent. Those were good, hopeful days.

Look at us now.

I thought with the advent of COVID-19, we could unite against a common foe. No one has been untouched by this blight.

My bad. “United” is not a term I’d come close to using. What a shame. It didn’t have to be this way.

It’s pretty bad out there, and I’m not just talking about the virus. I’m talking about the mental and emotional toll it’s taking, and in some ways, it feels even worse than last year.

I’m more concerned about what the virus is doing to our heads than what it’s doing to our lungs.

Coming back around to my thesis, the phrase “it’s mandatory” has the ability to throw people into an absolute tizzy. I hear about loss of liberties and the upcoming demise of the Republic.

So, in full disclosure, I don’t agree with mandatory vaccines or mandatory masks, at least on the governmental level. I’ve had Covid, I’ve been vaccinated, and I’m at total peace about my choices. But I won’t cast you in my autobiography.

It comes back to that uniquely American sense of “You can’t tell me what to do!” I get that. I have enough redneck blood in me to bristle at being dictated to.

However, in some places it’s mandatory to get vaccinated because it’s a condition of employment. A privately owned business has the right to set their own hiring policies, within the boundaries of pre-existing laws.  Here in Mississippi, for instance, an employer can fire a hireling and not have to justify why, in most cases.

So here’s a little thought-provoking verse from ancient script. You’ll find it in Judges 17:6:

In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

That second sentence, though.

If we say “It’s mandatory” about most anything, that counteracts doing what is right in our own eyes. There’s an “outsider” dictating our choices and behavior.

Of course, we don’t live in a monarchy. There is no king in the United States (and I’m sure there are some politicians who are disappointed with that.)

But in our culture here, there are some things that are mandatory.

Paying taxes comes to mind. You don’t have to pay your mandatory taxes, for instance, but there are consequences. You’ve done what was right in your own eyes, but there may be some repercussions from your choices. I could cite some more things that are mandatory, but you catch my drift.

Without some things being mandatory, then, chaos would rule. I guess we could talk about whether something is actually mandatory, but that’s some deep weeds to get into. Especially in these polarized, troubled times.

If you are a believer, though, don’t forget that obedience to God is mandatory. That doesn’t mean you can’t still make unwise decisions, because we all sin, and have to deal with the consequences. What it does mean, though, is that we should go to extraordinary lengths to do the wise thing.

Because – we DO have a king. He’s not an earthly ruler. And we’d best obey Him rather than doing what’s right in our own eyes.

Here, in these days, are some things that are mandatory for me:

• I listen before I speak.
• I view everything with the cross as its background.
• I accept that I may be wrong about some things, even things I prefer to believe.
• I must be willing to change.
• No matter what someone says, they may have a point.
• I can’t do just what is right in my own eyes – I have to be mindful of the needs of others.
• Regarding that last point: It’s Jesus, Others, You (me.)
• I will be an encourager, even when my empathy tank is just about dry.
• I will protect myself from unwanted negativity.
• I will strive to be around people who make me proud to call them friends because they are lightbringers.
• I will not judge unbelievers. God will judge them.
• When there’s someone I assume is an idiot, I’ll check myself and remember – I don’t know their story. They are behaving in a fashion that is consistent with who they are. They are precious and of worth.
• I will remember to ask myself, “In light of my past experiences, present circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams, what’s the wise thing for me to do?” (Sort of an Andy Stanley paraphrase.)

Believer, it’s mandatory that you follow Jesus. Do that, and life will take care of itself. You’ll know what to do.

Be blessed.

“The mass of men worry themselves into nameless graves while here and there a great unselfish soul forgets himself into immortality.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The entire universe revolves around me. You need to know that. I am the most important being to ever draw a breath of life. You, yes YOU, only exist as a bit player in my autobiography. I’m that important. I’m that significant. I’m grateful you get to occupy the same continent as I do.

I hope you recognize snark when you read it.

Because … I swear … this is the attitude some people exude. Narcissism abounds. Self-centeredness is the name of the game. And it may just be that these tendencies manifest themselves in simple, pure, unadulterated worry.

Dear reader, I’m sure this isn’t true of you, any more than it’s true of me.

And yet … and yet …

What is worry, anyway? Isn’t it a form of self-centeredness? Do we worry because of some real or imagined crisis looming? Do we fret if, God forbid, things don’t go as we like?

Let me hastily say that I am making a distinction between legitimate concern and irrational worry. If your child goes missing, best you’d worry! That sort of worry should lead to action, and not some idle brooding.

Emerson, the great, transcendentalist, nailed this one. The dude was brilliant. I realize that he was most likely a non-believer, but truth is truth, no matter where you find it.

That phrase – “… men worry themselves into nameless graves” – is a haunting one. The implication is that most people generate fear out of nothingness, or at best out of a perception that “something bad” may happen. It generally doesn’t.

The reason I’m calling out worry as a form of self-centeredness is because worry is a solitary task. It implies that the worrier is carrying some burden alone. It smacks of unholy doubt, doubt that God, Who is sovereign above all things, has been given an issue too big for Him, and you’re responsible for taking up the slack. Just in case God fumbles the ball, you’re close by to pick it up and run. In other words – it’s all about you, and not about anyone else. Even Him. It’s a subtle form of disbelief.

Before you beat yourself up (or wish that you could beat me up), realize that worry does indeed send one just that much closer to a nameless grave. I mean, it’s self-evident that worry simply isn’t healthy. Worse, it doesn’t help. But some folks embrace it, marinate in it, and feel good because they feel bad. Worry is evidence that they “care,” by golly. And it kills. It’s slow-motion suicide.

So Emerson suggests a cure in the same breath: “… while here and there a great unselfish soul forgets himself into immortality.” No more nameless graves.

That’s lovely. I’m glad Emerson was here to walk amongst us mortals for a while and give us such wisdom. The call here is for us to be simply unselfish, to shift our focus from ourselves, how we feel, and what we fret over … and release it. (Yeah, I know. One does not simply “let it go.”) But to forget oneself, to lose ourselves in a cause bigger than ourselves, to cast our lives into the arms of One Who alone can give us comfort – man alive. Isn’t that something worth aspiring toward?

This is what banishes worry. If you’re a believer, you have to accept that God is bigger than you, that He has a supernatural vantage point of whatever the situation is that you don’t have, and that He isn’t bound by time and space. He sees what instigated your worry, what you are doing in the midst of it, and what the resolution will be – all at the same time. (Good luck wrapping your head around that!) It is forgetting yourself, looking to Him, and releasing your concern like a helium balloon.

Re-read that quote. It’s magnificent. And take comfort in the ancient script found in Philippians 4:6-7 – which, according to data released by Amazon is the most highlighted passage in Kindle ebooks, and has comforted untold millions:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

That’s it, right there.

And one more thing. You’d honor me if you would check out a workshop I’ve created that addresses this very thing. You can see it by clicking on the blue CRUISING THROUGH CHAOS link:

CRUISING THROUGH CHAOS

It’s not all about you. It never has been. Check this out:

“I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet’s, the writer’s, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet’s voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail.” – William Faulkner

You just read the closing part of Faulkner’s acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize at the Nobel banquet at City Hall in Stockholm, Sweden, on December 10, 1950. The entire speech lasted about three minutes and, like the Gettysburg Address, has no fat on its bones at all. It was succinct, powerful stuff. I won’t post the whole thing, but it bears reading. Google it.

If you read Faulkner, you’ll find that his writings are packed with Christian themes (although his personal life, with multiple affairs, leads me to think that he lived his life just a little on the wrong side of the King James Version.) But I love the quote above, and here’s why:

It’s not all about you.

We can, if we aren’t careful, turn into self-serving little clods.

We live in this culture of outrage. We are offended by everything. Granted, some things are worth getting worked up over. But pity the one who goes through life looking for something to get enraged about. So they rant, and rail, and lash out at anyone who doesn’t see things the way they do. And, in offense’s worst state, they want those not agreeing with them shut down, silenced, banished.

I want to state unequivocally that wanting someone who disagrees with you to be silenced is cowardly and non-Christian.

What are you afraid of? Have we become such weenies that we are threatened by opposing viewpoints? To put a finer point on things, are we not as Christians so uncertain about our own beliefs that to be confronted with challenges causes us to run to the nearest rabbit hole?

Check out Faulkner again, and he implies that it’s not all about you. He states that we are capable of compassion, sacrifice, and endurance. In the context of believers, that implies that we can care and love for our enemies, that we can give ourselves to them and for them, and that we can stand up to anything hurtful or harmful – or unfair and inaccurate – that they might say to us. Actually, that sounds pretty Christlike to me.

Faulkner’s answer was found in words, in poetry, in soaring discourse. Read this again:

It is his (the writer’s) privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past.

That’s good counsel for the poet, and good counsel for us, too. We have that same privilege as we look to others.

But we can’t give away something that we don’t have. We are the end product of those before us who give us examples of courage, honor, hope, pride, compassion, pity, and sacrifice. More importantly, we have received the same examples from Christ Himself.

Here’s the point. Don’t miss the point.

To the extent that you can accept these strengths, divinely given, you can prevail against the ill winds of culture. You have a new Spirit in you, if you’re a believer. It’s a Spirit that will guide you away from blind outrage, away from perceived or real slights, away from any sense of entitlement you may have.

Life is hard. It’s SUPPOSED to be. You are supposed to struggle and contend. Without struggle, where would the glory be? No, see, you are supernaturally empowered to be gifted, to be a gift, to be an encourager, and to always and forever have hope. You don’t have to remain in the dark state you are in. O be joyful. You have reason to hope.

Comments are welcome and encouraged.

What do you do when God doesn’t fix things? If you’re a believer, does that fit into your worldview?

There are lots of things I wasn’t aware of when I became a Christian. My faith was shallow, because I was just a young’un in the faith. I didn’t know there were times when God doesn’t fix things. I thought if I prayed just the right kind of prayers and believed, then everything would go my way.

Lawdy. No. It doesn’t work that way. Right?

I made the comment the other day that the natural state of the Christian was suffering. (That statement is a great platform for church growth, right?) What I’ve come to understand, though, is that suffering doesn’t cancel out joy. What a paradox.

Fact is, sometimes God doesn’t answer, at least in the fashion we believe He should. It’s that old adage of God answers all prayers, either with yes, no, or wait.

“No” doesn’t suit us well. That means that in some cases, God doesn’t fix things, at least the way I wanted Him to.

Ancient script is full of this line of thinking. I don’t know why we gloss over 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, like this was something unique to the apostle Paul and not to us:

^{7 …}or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.⁹ But he said to me, ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul sort of answers his own question here, because God doesn’t fix things, at least in the manner he begged Him to do.

Paul prays the same prayer three times. The first time, I just bet he believed that God would deliver. That mystery thorn? One and done.

Not.

I wonder how Paul’s prayer sounded:

“Lord, I really need you to help me. I need to have this thorn dealt with and removed. It’s awful, and painful, and I’d be much more effective for You if You’d take it away. It’s satanic.”

God responds: “Sorry, pal.”

Paul gives it another shot:

”God, really. I don’t get it. Things aren’t better. They may even be worse. I feel like I’m handicapped. I don’t see how I can serve like You want me to. I’d be a much more effective leader, teacher, and friend. I know You can deal with this thing, once and for all. Can I count on You to be God and bring glory to Yourself by delivering me?”

God says, “Your prayers are noted. Carry on.”

Paul, round three:

”Almighty God, I know when Jesus died He took all our sins on Himself on the cross. If I’m in sin in some way, and that’s why You aren’t dealing with this horrific thorn, then please forgive me. I repent. I’m in such awful pain, and I don’t know how long I can go on like this. I’m begging, in Jesus’ name … heal me and take this away from me.”

And God said, “I don’t guess you get it. Here’s what you need to learn: My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.“

Paul says, “Roger that.”

Here’s our lesson, and it’s a good one to embrace. Hard, but good. It’s what we need to learn when we think God doesn’t fix things:

• When you’re weak and it the lowest of lows, guess what – you actually are strong.
• God understands when you’re crushed by grief, when you’re about to lose it, when you’re frustrated to the max, and you are at the end of your proverbial rope.
• The transaction is for you to exchange your weakness for His strength. It’s totally okay to admit you ain’t got what it takes.
• You are part of The Plan. You may not be privy to it, but that’s okay, too. Just accept the ride.
• Here’s your word for the day: Release.
• Be well. Be blessed.

Comments appreciated!

It may be that “getting even” with someone is something you’re plotting right now. “I’ll show them,” you say. “I’m gonna get them back. They will pay for what they’ve done.”

And so forth. We’re talking revenge here.

Problem is, getting even doesn’t serve any real purpose.

I grew up in a pretty cushy environment. I’m an only child. My parents were great. I was benignly spoiled. Mine was a loving family. There are some real plusses in growing up with Ward and June Cleaver.

I was a sensitive kid. That’s crossed over into me being a sensitive adult. I’m a true empath – not only do I know how you feel, I feel how you feel. That is for sure a blessing and a curse.

Back then that really strained my brain and played havoc with my heart and emotions. I spent a lot of energy trying to deal with all that. My tendency, then and now, is to quietly withdraw from negative situations and people. I just ain’t got what it takes to deal with those things for a prolonged period.

The byproduct of that would be a simmering desire to get even with someone who hurt me, or even more pronounced, getting even with someone who hurt someone else close to me.

On those dark days, I’d wonder – “Why me? Why can’t people be nice? Why don’t they just lay off?

Maybe you get this.

It might be that you’re the kind of person who feels it necessary to defend yourself, to put up a grim fight, to try to recover from wounds, or to figure out some kind of revenge – getting even, as it were.

I’m not going to judge you, but I do want you to acknowledge if this is true of you or not.

Getting even might give some bit of short-term gratification, but it won’t last, and you’ll probably feel worse after the fact. So let’s talk about some principles that might help you more than getting even would.

1. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you. It’s the other person with issues.

My former boss used to say “hurt people hurt people.” My stars, so much truth right there! When people are mean and unkind, those tendencies come from a wounded place. They are, as Mama would say, “acting out.” So hold onto this one. It’s the other person with the problems. You just happened to be the target of the moment.

2. God is sovereign, and He is in total control.

He is in charge. Whatever you are facing, whatever someone is doing to you or saying about you, is part of a grand strategy He is using to make you more like Him. You are His best project! You don’t have to like what someone is doing to you,  but there’s a plan in place. You may not be privy to it – you probably aren’t. The skill comes in learning how to evaluate things through His eyes. Having the mind of Christ, in other words.

3. The real enemy is Satan. He’s just using those people who are out to make you miserable.

It’s a matter of knowing your enemy. This is a sobering thought – that Satan could be using another human to “get” you. But, we also have to acknowledge that there are times when Satan uses us, too. There’s a pleasant thought! Here’s your smartest tactic, though: Pray for that person doing the attacking. They need Jesus whether they’re Christians or not. They need healing.

4. Keep your guard up.

That whole armor of God thing? You can read about it in Ephesians 6:10-18.

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

There is a real battle out there to be fought, and it’s not to be fought with someone getting even with you. Save your energy for the real deal.

5. “Vengeance is mine,” sayeth the Lord. You are not His instrument.

Let God deal with the offender. He will be just. He’ll handle things the way He sees fit. He doesn’t need your help or advice. If this is about getting even, and making someone pay, God will decide what they need to pay, if anything. Let Him be God.  Actually, He already is.

I don’t need to get even. Revenge is something that causes me to take my eyes off God and focus on myself and what I perceive my needs are.

I do need to say, however, that it’s right and appropriate to set some personal boundaries. You may need to get creative and think of ways to limit contact with them. But to focus on getting even, embracing bitterness, and plotting revenge is just wasted energy. It won’t help. God will handle things in a way that is right and what will bring glory to Himself. You are part of His plan. You are not the plan.

God promises to take care of the persecuted and judge those who are cruel. He’s good like that.

Be well. Comments are welcome!

I don’t know if you’ve ever given any thought to our hard hearts, but I’m sensing that, as a whole, we’re a lot less compassionate than we used to be.

Mean, even.

God seems to treat people very differently.

That’s problematic, isn’t it? If God is fair and just, shouldn’t we all find favor? Do our hard hearts come from God or from within ourselves?

I’m a novice at theology, and I’m really hesitant about saying things that aren’t sound. But I’ll take a swipe at this anyway, because I think it’ll help you.

First, some background.

This past weekend we kept our grandkids, Katherine and Levi. Katherine’s four. Levi’s two. We love them so so much, but they can make you tired.

Katherine was looking at the account of Moses and the Ten Commandments in a little illustrated Bible. She was intrigued. So, in the interest of broadening her horizons, I decided to show her a movie version of the story. We ended up watching parts of three of them.

We started out with the 1956 Cecil B. DeMille version of The Ten Commandments starring Charlton Heston. Big, loud, splashy, and reverential. And some killer dialogue; at one point, Nefertiti says to Moses, “Oh Moses, Moses, you stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!” You just can’t get any better than that.

Then we watched the appropriate section of The Bible, the miniseries from 2013 produced by Roma Downey and Mark Burnett. It was certainly more gritty, and the parting of the Red Sea looked terrific.

We wrapped up our session with The Prince of Egypt, the animated version from 1998. To me, it’s the best of the bunch. It’s some potent stuff.

Katherine had tons of questions, but she fixated on Pharaoh. (She’s always partial to villains in movies – she has this thing about Darth Vader, for instance.)

So I tried to explain the whole Israelites being slaves, Moses being sent to deliver them, and Pharaoh saying, uh-uh, nope.

This was an interesting conversation with a four-year-old.

I don’t know if she picked up on the nuances of the story, but she did understand who the good guys and bad guys were. And she was all about the parting of the Red Sea.

What we didn’t get into was the whole business of Pharaoh being so bad.

That’s not a bad question – why does God harden some people’s hearts? More specifically, is He responsible for our hard hearts?

Ancient script says this, in Exodus 11:3:

The Lord made the Egyptians favorably disposed toward the people, and Moses himself was highly regarded in Egypt by Pharaoh’s officials and by the people. (Emphasis mine.)

On the other hand, here’s this, found in Exodus 10:27 and 11:10:

²⁷ But the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he was not willing to let them go.

¹⁰ Moses and Aaron performed all these wonders before Pharaoh, but the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he would not let the Israelites go out of his country.

So. There’s that. But what does that have to do with our hard hearts?

There’s no question that this is a mystery.

Why the difference? I’d say, on one hand, only God knows. I have to be at peace with that. Paul says, in Romans 9:18, God has mercy on whom He wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom He wants to harden. 

Yowza.

But back to Exodus: from our limited human view, there are all sorts of reasons in the differences between the Egyptians and Pharaoh. Pharaoh enslaved the Israelites because they were free labor and he could do with them as he pleased. The Egyptians were likely to be more sympathetic. So there are some human factors at work.

That’s not a totally satisfactory view, though.

Making it personal, and in attempting to understand our hard hearts, check this out.

We really don’t know where our deepest feelings come from, do we? Think about it: we are all full of motivations, desires, prejudices, and preferences. Are those due to genetics? Biochemistry? Environment? There isn’t much we can do about those. Or – big one! – are they consciously chosen? Do we decide to engineer our own hard hearts? Is that out of our hands?

My contention is that sin affects everything about us – who we are as well as what we know and do. It can explain our hard hearts.

That could explain a lot about us – why we get so agitated by some people, why we are unwilling to tolerate differing viewpoints, and how we view our world.

Where it gets even messier is when we realize that God controls the universe. No argument there, right? That’s what the Bible teaches. The Bible also teaches that people can obey or disobey God’s commands.

The question hanging out there is this: How does God’s control relate to how you make choices?

If you are free to choose your own attitude and biases – in other words, to accept or reject your hard heart – then it seems to reduce God’s absolute power to something you can override. But – and it’s a big but – if God causes you to have a hard heart against Him and other things and people, then it makes God come across as unfair.

What I grapple with personally as well as corporately is how it seems sometimes that God brings about events and attitudes that clearly oppose His nature.

Rock and roll.

See the implications? This gets to the core of why there are pandemics, why certain elected officials come to power, and how we respond to others and the world and those around us.

As I write this, I’m trying to land this plane safely.

Wheels down:

The connection between God’s sovereignty and human freedom is a big, big mystery from where I sit. People a lot smarter than me (and probably you) have grappled with this for literally thousands of years. It’s still a mystery, and I’m not gonna solve this here at my MacBook on a Tuesday morning.

What I am certain of, though, is that God, by definition, is completely good in His actions. If we think about our hard hearts, and how they came about, we have to acknowledge that we have a big responsibility.

We are responsible to trust Him in all His work and ways. We are never called to solve or even figure out the difficulties that only God understands.

Be at peace with that. And be well. Comments are, as always, welcome.