We can fight for our beliefs without demonizing each other.

Not everyone knows this, apparently.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I love being able to reconnect with friends that I haven’t heard from in years. It’s pretty wonderful to find a former student from one of the youth groups I led 30 years ago and hear how they’re doing Kingdom work and loving Jesus.

That’s the love side of things. What I hate, though, is when I run across some political or social screed and just shake my head. Or, worse, when I let myself get suckered and drawn into a no-win discussion, i.e., argument. It devalues my soul.

In a world bursting with diverse opinions and beliefs, it’s easy to find ourselves at odds with others. Do we live in a divided country or what? But as Christians, we’re called to a different standard — one of love, understanding, and peace.

The Apostle Paul reminds us inRomans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This isn’t just a lofty ideal; it’s a practical guide for navigating our interactions, even when we disagree.

Understanding Over Judgment

One of the first steps in bridging differences is striving to understand rather than rush to judgment. Remember James 1:19, which encourages us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Understanding doesn’t mean we have to agree with every point of view, but it does mean acknowledging the sincerity and humanity in others’ perspectives.

That’s hard. I’ll read something from a friend or acquaintance and think, “Dude, you must be possessed. How can you believe such nonsense? Who are you listening to? What are you reading? What are your sources?”

Then I remember: Everyone has a story. Their story isn’t my story. They came to their beliefs based on their worldview, their upbringing, their environment, and a whole host of other factors. Just like you and I did.

I’d like to think I work hard at this. I once found myself in a heated debate with a friend over a social issue. As we talked, I made a conscious effort to listen, not just to respond but to understand. It didn’t change my viewpoint, but it certainly softened my heart towards my friend’s experience and reasoning.

Love as Our Guiding Principle

In every interaction, love should be our guiding principle. Jesus couldn’t have been clearer when he said, “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34). This love isn’t just a warm feeling; it’s patient, kind, and self-controlled, as detailed in1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It’s choosing to respond with gentleness even when we’re tempted to be harsh, showing kindness when it’s easier to be indifferent.

Just be kind.

The Strength in Diversity

Our differences can be a source of strength, not division. Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Engaging with diverse viewpoints can challenge us to think deeper, understand more broadly, and grow stronger in our own beliefs. It’s like a community garden with a variety of plants; each contributes something unique to the overall beauty and health of the garden.

When I talk about diversity, I’m simply saying that we aren’t all alike. I’m not talking about a union of light and darkness, of sin and holiness. What I am saying is that just listening to others, even if you find their stances repellant and even wicked, can’t hurt. Just make sure you are secure in you own beliefs, and stand firm on biblical truths.

Bridging the Gap with Grace

Finally, grace is the bridge that spans the gap between differing viewpoints. Ephesians 4:2-3 encourages us to “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Grace involves listening, forgiving, and sometimes agreeing to disagree, all while maintaining respect and dignity. It’s recognizing that we’re all works in progress, journeying together towards understanding and truth.

As followers of Christ, we’re called to stand firm in our beliefs while also extending love and respect to those who differ from us. This balance isn’t just a nice idea; it’s a scriptural mandate and a practical pathway to peace and unity in a diverse world.

Let’s embrace our differences, not as barriers, but as opportunities to demonstrate the love, understanding, and grace that are at the heart of our faith.

Have you ever wanted to take charge of your life?

We all have.

I had a thought here recently. Ponder this, pilgrim:

As you live your life, it appears to be anarchy and chaos, and random events smashing into each other and causing this situation or that situation. It’s overwhelming. It looks like “what in the world is going on?”

And at the end of all things, when you look back at it, you realize your life was a finely crafted novel written by God Himself.

So, if you want to learn how to take charge of your life, perhaps some practical suggestions are in order.

Here ya go.

First, here’s my disclaimer. You are not totally in charge of your life. God is in charge of your life. He allows us to be stewards.

Get that? You are not the captain of your soul.

But there are plenty of ways we can take charge.

1. There are always going to be unhappy situations that will exist in your life. Always. You are not exempt.
2. Right now, grab a piece of paper or open a doc on your device. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
3. Draw a line down your paper, making two columns.
4. Make a list – right now – of three to five unhappy situations you are facing. Write them in the left column.
5. If you can’t come up with any, you may think you’re blessed. You are, sort of. But you can’t grow and learn unless you’re dealing with something.
6. In the right column, out beside each item in your list, complete this sentence: “I am responsible because …”

I’m guessing I just lost a lot of folks.

Still with me?

The unfortunate reality is that our default position in life is that when something is wrong, we look outside ourselves for a reason. That’s one reason it’s so hard to take charge of your life.

Family member, boss, co-worker, “friend,” other people … it’s their fault we’re in a bad state.

Or circumstances … I’m ill, I’m poor, I haven’t gotten the breaks others have, I live in a lousy city, it’s too cold, my parents messed me up.

You get the idea. But state this again – “I am responsible for this because …”

And complete the sentence.

Make this a non-negotiable: Change, and the world will change for you.

We could argue this, perhaps, but I firmly believe this is a natural law. Conversely, if you don’t change, then nothing will change for you. Ack.

I don’t want you to feel worse than you already do. What I’m sharing is not an excuse for you to beat yourself up. And Lord knows what I’m sharing is dang hard to self-apply some days. I’m so painfully aware of that gap between knowing what to do and actually taking action.

Here’s your next steps.

• Ask yourself this: “What are my major excuses for not choosing to change?” Write this out. There is amazing power in getting things out of your head, where things can get mushy and ill-defined, and onto paper. Something about staring down a problem spelled out is a game changer. Trust your Uncle Tony on this one.
• You’re going to find your excuses are pretty lame.
• Evaluate your heart by asking this question: “What situations anger me?” Don’t edit yourself. Write this one out, too. Don’t worry about whether it’s justifiable righteous anger or just being really ticked off. Just answer the question honestly.
• By identifying what makes you mad, you’ll have a better sense of what needs to be changed or avoided. And if it’s something you can’t change or avoid, you’ll know how you need to change yourself to roll with it.
• Which leads to this one – yikes! Again, write out your answer:“What are you blaming on others when you become angry?” Whew, babe. I just about guarantee that how you answer this will be one of the most self-revealing things you can learn about yourself.
• Because … if the things that make you angry are almost exclusively based on what someone has done to you/said about you/opinion they hold of you, watch out. You’re just their marionette, jerked along by invisible strings. They are controlling you. Not good. No bueno.
• You can cut those strings. You can choose and act.

Thanks for hanging in there with me as I puke on you.

My final thoughts:

This is about taking charge of your life. Everything I’ve shared is just academic unless you answer this last question. Write out your answer. I mean it.

“What will you do differently because of what you have learned?”

That’s your Action Point. My challenge to all of us is to identify one actionable, measurable “thing” and do it. Do it before the sun sets tomorrow. Write down the action you will take. Execute it. Write down the results. If there’s not a quick fix – and there probably won’t be – track your progress. Just don’t quit. Don’t give up.

I am so freakin’ hard on myself when I do these kinds of exercises. Maybe you think I’m being hard on you. Maybe you think I’m not being realistic. Perhaps you’re saying, “But Tony. You don’t know my circumstances.”

Well, I don’t. I have no clue about your life experiences (unless you’ve told me.)

Here’s what I do know, and you can etch this in stone:

If you want to take charge of your life, then you have to take charge of your life. Meaning – if you want things to change, you have to change first.

You can change. People do it all the time. Start with the truth that you are responsible, and go from there. Just be authentic with yourself.

Want to take charge of your life? It can be done, and you can do it.

Be blessed.

Postscript: As of this writing, my new novel, The Fixin’ Place, is holding strong as the #1 New Release in Christian Fantasy on Amazon. It’s also at #12 in Teen & Young Adult Religion & Spirituality eBooks. I’d be pleased if you’d take a look – it’s .99 on Kindle for a few more days, but is also available in paperback. If you do read it, I’d be especially grateful if you’d leave a review. Thanks ever so much!