The Silent Strength of Friendship

Friendship is an enigma. It’s this beautiful blend of joy and pain, of laughter and tears. In the journey of life, friends become our chosen family, our anchors in the storm, and our cheerleaders in the game of life. But what does it truly mean to be a friend?

The Beauty of Silence

Have you ever sat with a friend in complete silence, where words were unnecessary, and the mere presence of each other was enough? There’s a beauty in that silence. It’s the kind of silence that speaks louder than any words ever could. It says, “I’m here for you, no matter what.” It’s the silence that acknowledges pain, understands grief, and respects the need for solitude.

Being a friend doesn’t always mean filling the void with words. Sometimes, it means understanding the importance of silence, recognizing when it’s time to speak, and when it’s time to simply listen.

Letting Go with Love

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but true friendship sometimes means letting go. It means watching from the sidelines as your friend takes a leap of faith, even if you fear they might fall. It’s about trusting their journey, believing in their strength, and understanding that everyone has their own path to tread.

Letting go doesn’t mean abandonment. It means giving them the space to grow, to learn, and to find themselves. And sometimes, it’s the greatest gift you can give.

Picking Up the Pieces

Life is unpredictable. It throws curveballs when we least expect them. And while we might stand back as our friends take their leaps, we’re always there, ready to pick up the pieces when things don’t go as planned.

Being there during the tough times, offering a shoulder to cry on, or simply being a listening ear, is the hallmark of a true friend. It’s the promise that says, “No matter how broken things may seem, I’ve got your back.”

A Love Beyond Rescue

The instinct to protect and rescue our loved ones from harm is natural. But true love, especially in friendship, goes beyond the urge to save. It’s about acceptance. Accepting that we don’t always have the answers, that we can’t always be the hero, and that sometimes, the best way to love someone is to let them find their own way.

It’s a selfless kind of love, one that puts the needs and growth of the other person before our own desires to “fix” things. It’s the realization that every individual has their own journey, their own battles, and their own lessons to learn. And as friends, our role is not to walk that path for them but to walk alongside them, supporting, loving, and accepting them every step of the way.

In conclusion, friendship is a dance of love and understanding. It’s about knowing when to step in and when to step back. It’s about the silent moments, the leaps of faith, and the times we pick up the pieces. But most importantly, it’s about loving without conditions, without expectations, and without the need for rescue. Because that’s the kind of love that stands the test of time.

Facing Trials with Authenticity: When God Chooses Real Over Superficial

Trials and tribulations are an inevitable part of life. You know, there are days when we wish we had a magic wand to wave away our problems, or a switch we could flip to fast-forward through the hard times. But if there’s one thing we can take solace in, it’s the knowledge that our struggles don’t catch God off guard. He sees them, understands them, and has a purpose behind each one.

When I say there are no magical words to take away your pain or speed up the trial you’re enduring, I mean it. But this isn’t a call for despair. Instead, it’s an invitation to embrace the reality that the struggle is a part of your story. Consider the most transformative stories in the Bible: Moses wandering in the desert, David facing Goliath, Paul enduring shipwrecks and imprisonments. Their trials weren’t quick fixes. They were journeys that molded, shaped, and refined them into the people God intended them to be.

One of the most reassuring truths is that God isn’t interested in the superficial. He doesn’t prioritize the Instagram-perfect moments, the airbrushed versions of our lives, or the temporary highs we get from feel-good quotes. Instead, God is all about authenticity. The term I like to use is, “God only does REAL.” Now, what does that mean?

In a world where so much feels curated and artificial, where we’re often sold quick fixes and shallow comfort, God’s approach is refreshingly genuine. He doesn’t promise us a life without challenges, but He does assure us of His unwavering presence through them. This isn’t about the fleeting motivation that gives a momentary lift. This is about lasting transformation – a deep, soulful change that not only affects us but also influences those around us.

By going through genuine struggles, we gain authentic wisdom and strength. This isn’t the kind of wisdom you acquire from reading a self-help book or attending a weekend seminar. This is wisdom born from experience, from wrestling with challenges, from sometimes stumbling and getting back up with God’s help. The strength we gain isn’t just physical or emotional; it’s a spiritual fortitude that anchors us even in the fiercest storms.

And there’s a ripple effect to all of this. When others see you – a real person, genuinely transformed by real experiences with a real God – they are inspired. Not by the artificial, but by the genuine growth and resilience they see in you. It becomes a testimony of God’s grace, of His ability to turn trials into triumphs, and of the beauty that can arise from ashes.

In closing, if you’re in the midst of a challenging season, I encourage you to lean into the authenticity of it all. Recognize that God is in the business of real transformations, not superficial ones. Let your struggle shape you, refine you, and prepare you for the next chapter of your story. And always remember: even when the journey is tough, with God by your side, the destination is worth it.

Talk later!

“And they all left him and fled.” – Mark 14:50 (ESV)

Jesus Knows Loneliness

Those disciples. They bailed on their Master and friend. This hits home for those of us who’ve faced loneliness or have felt like we let someone down.

Isn’t it comforting to know that Jesus Himself, the Savior of the world, understands what it’s like to be lonely? At the very moment when he could have used the support the most, everybody bolted. Imagine the heartbreak! Yet, He doesn’t wallow in that. Instead, He moves forward, carrying the weight of the world’s sins to the cross. There’s something so profoundly human about this experience of loneliness. I reckon that when you or I feel deserted, we’re in good company. Jesus has been there and He gets it. We’re not alone in our aloneness, if you catch my drift.

Your Faithfulness Matters

Those little things you do? They matter. They matter a lot, especially to a God who felt the sting of being left alone. You don’t have to go around changing water into wine to make a difference. Sometimes, it’s as simple as sitting beside someone who’s having a rough day or helping a neighbor with groceries. Every kind act is like a warm hug to Jesus, telling Him, “You’re not alone, and neither am I.” It’s a two-way street of comfort that’s both cosmic and intimate.

From Deserters to Disciples

Here’s where the message really kicks in. You know those guys who deserted Jesus? They ended up being the cornerstones of the Christian church! Peter, who denied Him not once but three times, became one of the great Apostles. Heck, he even got the keys to the Kingdom! God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called.

Let’s face it, we’ve all had our “deserter” moments. Maybe it was a promise you couldn’t keep or a calling you ignored because you were too scared or didn’t think you were up to the task. But guess what? God still wants you. He wants to use you, flaws and all, for His incredible purposes.

The Power of “Losers”

You might personify those disciples as failures. Losers. I think that’s gold right there. God’s economy doesn’t operate like the world’s. The world applauds success, but God applauds faithfulness. The world seeks the spotlight, but God seeks the heart. In His eyes, a “loser” who is faithful is a true winner, equipped to heal and minister, just like those deserters-turned-disciples.

In the grand story of redemption, it’s not the mighty or the successful who take center stage. It’s the humble, the flawed, and yes, even the deserters, who become heroes in God’s narrative. They are the ones who are given the power to change lives and heal broken hearts.

So there you have it. We all falter, but in God’s eyes, that doesn’t disqualify us. If anything, it sets us up for a comeback, turning us into bearers of His hope, grace, and love. Just remember, you’re never alone on this journey.

Hey there. This particular blog is pretty subtle. Lean in.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you find yourself caught up in the grandiosity of the world? Where you might feel, just for a second, a tad bit tiny in the grand scheme of things? We all have, and it’s utterly human to feel dwarfed by the sprawling cosmos and the enigmatic expanse that surrounds us.

But here’s a gentle reminder, right from the heart of Christianity, echoing through the ages and reverberating in the soul of every believer. Picture this: amidst this quiet contemplation, you hear a whisper, clear and comforting, God’s voice reaching out to you, “Stand up, I chose you.” It’s not a shout, but a whisper – a personal, intimate call that reaches deep into your heart, acknowledging your worth and potential in the grand narrative penned by the Creator Himself.

You see, when God places His hands upon us, something extraordinary happens. The earth beneath us seems to recognize this divine touch, resonating with a gentle tremor of joy, echoing the heartbeat of a Father who lovingly crafted it.

So, what’s in this divine nudge, this celestial encouragement that makes everything different? It’s a call to step into the role crafted just for you, to embrace the journey set before you with courage, grace, and a heart brimming with God’s love. It’s an invitation to step beyond the ordinary and into the remarkable adventure that God has in store for us.

Being chosen by God doesn’t mean a pathway strewn with roses, free from trials. Rather, it’s a rallying cry to rise above, to bear witness to His love in action, to be His hands and feet in a world craving kindness and compassion. In Christian belief, it’s being filled with the Spirit, a role filled with purpose, joy, and boundless opportunities to reflect Christ’s love to others.

But remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Just as Jesus walked with His disciples, teaching and nurturing them, God walks alongside you. Guiding, supporting, and encouraging you, infusing your journey with a sense of purpose and joy that transcends earthly understanding.

As you rise, as you stand up under God’s gentle command, let’s do so with hearts wide open, ready to embrace the beauty and complexity of this divinely orchestrated life. Let’s move forward with a spirit that’s upbeat, positive, and ready to dive into the wonders that God unfolds before us each day.

Imagine the tremendous impact we can make in this world, showcasing Jesus’ love, mercy, and grace in actions big and small. For when we stand tall, embraced and empowered by His love, we become living testaments to His goodness, radiant beacons of hope in a world longing for light.

So, here’s to stepping up, to answering that divine call with a smile that’s genuine and a heart that’s eager to love, serve, and embrace the journey ahead. In God’s grand design, you are not insignificant; you are treasured, vital, and uniquely equipped to make a mark that lasts for eternity.

As you navigate this remarkable journey, remember, with God by your side, you’re prepared to make waves of positivity, joy, and God’s love reverberate across the earth, showcasing the radiant light of Christ that dwells within you, ready to illuminate the world.

Stay blessed, and keep shining your divine light. Jesus saves.

The Boomerang of Kindness

Encouragement is like a heavenly boomerang. You toss it out there, and it comes swinging back, often right when you need it the most. But what about those times when you’re standing there, arm outstretched, and nothing comes back? You’re going through a rough patch, and yet you hear the words of the Bible reminding you: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

The ‘Jesus Factor’

Let’s consider Jesus for a moment. He’s hanging on the cross—a situation where you wouldn’t expect much encouragement to be handed out—and yet, He comforts the thief beside Him, promising him paradise. If Jesus can find it within Himself to encourage others even in His final moments, surely we can find ways to encourage from behind our screens or over a cup of coffee.

Recharge to Encourage

Picture yourself as a smartphone for a moment. Even phones need to recharge so they can send out all those uplifting texts and calls. So take some time to refuel through prayer, Scripture, and community. This isn’t about giving from a place of emptiness but recharging through divine connection and then sharing what overflows.

Been There, Felt That

When you’re in a difficult spot, you gain a unique perspective. Your words of encouragement carry weight because you’ve walked a similar path. Paul captured this well when he talked about the “God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble…” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

The Encouragement Domino Effect

Imagine you’re having a tough day but decide to text a friend with a Bible verse that has lifted your spirits in the past. Your friend, feeling encouraged, decides to call their mom to share some love. Mom, now feeling cherished, compliments a coworker. The coworker, feeling affirmed, goes home and gives his kids an extra hug. Encouragement is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Sowing and Reaping, The Eternal Loop

We can’t forget the age-old biblical principle of sowing and reaping. While it’s not a transaction—God isn’t a divine vending machine—it’s a principle that stands the test of time. Sow encouragement, and you will reap it eventually. Maybe not immediately or in the form you expect, but God is faithful.

We’re All in This Together

Finally, let’s remember that encouragement isn’t a solo endeavor. It’s a collective mission. You lift someone up today; someone else might do the same for you tomorrow. And sometimes the most significant encouragement comes directly from God, providing you that much-needed boost.

So, ready to throw that encouragement boomerang again? It might just return to you sooner than you think, and perhaps right when you need it the most.

Talk later!

The Secret Places of Our Will: A Dance with God’s Purpose

“Our battles are first won or lost in the secret places of our will, never in full view of the world.”

Think about it; the personal battles we face are not fought in arenas filled with cheering crowds. They’re fought in the quiet corners of our minds and hearts, where we wrestle with our desires, decisions, and God’s will for our lives. The world may never see these battles, but they are as real and significant as any physical war.

Take a moment to consider those things you wrestle with in your private thoughts. Maybe it’s a decision about your career, family, or a personal habit you want to change. Whatever it is, know that you’re not alone in these struggles.

“You’ll never have any idea what other people are really going through. Just know that other believers wrestle with God’s will, just like you.”

Isn’t that a comforting thought? We all face challenges, and we all wrestle with God’s will in our lives. Sometimes we wonder why things aren’t going our way or why we feel a nagging sensation that something is amiss. The beautiful part of this struggle is that it leads us closer to understanding God’s purpose for our lives.

The wrestling is not a sign of weakness or failure; it’s a dance, a continuous process of aligning our will with God’s. When we wrestle, we engage, we ask questions, we seek understanding, and in the process, we grow stronger and closer to the Creator.

Now, here’s the upbeat part: These battles, these wrestlings with God’s will, they shape us into the individuals we are meant to be. They prepare us for bigger roles in life, molding us into stronger, more compassionate beings. They teach us empathy, patience, and resilience.

Next time you find yourself in a secret battle, don’t be disheartened. Embrace it! Know that in that struggle, you are finding your path, shaping your character, and learning to dance with God’s will.

Remember, your fellow believers are dancing too. Maybe not to the same tune or in the same way, but they are engaged in the same beautiful, sometimes complex dance with destiny.

So, let’s celebrate these battles. Let’s find joy in the wrestlings. Let’s encourage each other and understand that we’re all on this journey together, each finding our way, each learning our steps, and each dancing our unique dance with God’s purpose.

Talk soon!

I was sitting at my desk the other day, sipping some sweet tea (really), and listening to a recording of Earl Nightingale. If you aren’t familiar with Mr. Nightingale, his Wikipedia bio states that he was an American radio speaker and author, dealing mostly with the subjects of human character development, motivation, and meaningful existence.  I’ve found him everlastingly listenable. Among the gazillion or so books he wrote, his best known was The Strangest Secret. In it, he amplifies a single thought that captivates me: “You become what you think about.” Now, don’t go thinking I’ve turned all philosophical on you; I’m just trying to chew on something that’s a bit more profound than my usual thought patterns. 

Ever find yourself stuck in a loop of negative thoughts? Oh boy, I have. You start thinking you’re not good enough, not smart enough, or whatever “enough” you want to add to the list, and soon enough, you begin to feel that way. It’s like you’ve become a magnet attracting all the things you DON’T want.

There is some scripture that resonates with this idea, and Mr. Nightingale references this several times. Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Simple, right? What’s in our minds can shape who we are.

Imagine your thoughts are seeds. You plant them, water them, and eventually, they’ll grow into something. Now, if you plant tomatoes, don’t expect to harvest watermelons. Same goes for our thoughts. Plant positive seeds, and you’ll see a garden full of hope, joy, and love. Plant negative seeds, and, well, you’ll get the prickly weeds.

But it’s not just about thinking happy thoughts and hoping for the best. It’s about aligning those thoughts with actions. James 2:17 tells us, “Faith without works is dead.” It’s like wanting a bountiful harvest without getting your hands dirty. You’ve got to roll up your sleeves and work that garden.

So, let’s say you want to be more loving, more generous, or more patient. Start by thinking it, believing it, and then doing it. Be intentional about your thoughts, and let them guide your steps. Trust in the Lord, lean on His wisdom, and watch how your life blossoms.

I suppose this idea of “you become what you think about” is more than a nifty slogan on a bumper sticker. It’s a truth we can apply to our everyday lives, one that’s rooted in the Word and can help us grow into the person we’re meant to be.

So we’ve chewed on the idea that our thoughts shape us, and I bet some of you are thinking, “Well, that sounds great, but how do I actually do that?” Let’s think about some action points – some down-to-earth ways to turn your thinking around and grow a garden of positivity:

• Plant the Right Seeds: If you want to think positively, you’ve got to start by planting the right thoughts. Dive into scripture, find verses that resonate with you, and keep them close. Write them down, stick them on your fridge, whatever it takes. These are your positive seeds.
• Water with Prayer: Ever found yourself stuck in a storm of negative thoughts? It’s like a garden overrun with weeds. Pray about it! Talk to God, share what’s on your mind, and ask for guidance. Prayer’s like water for the soul, nourishing those positive thoughts.
• Tend Your Garden with Friends: Surround yourself with folks who’ll encourage you and help you grow. You wouldn’t leave your garden all alone, would you? Fellowship with friends and family who uplift you is like having a gardening buddy.
• Use the Right Tools: Just like in gardening, you need the right tools. Listen to uplifting music, read inspiring books, attend church gatherings, and be part of a community that helps you think positively.
• Prune the Weeds: Sometimes, negative thoughts creep in like stubborn weeds. Recognize them and pluck them out. Replace them with the promises of God. It’s a process, but it’s worth it.
• Harvest with Gratitude: When you see positive changes in your life, celebrate them! Thank the Lord for His guidance, and don’t forget to be grateful for the little things too. A thankful heart is a joyful heart.

This isn’t about pretending that life’s all sunshine and roses. It’s about choosing to focus on the good, leaning on our faith, and letting God guide our thoughts. And hey, if you stumble and find a weed or two, don’t fret. Just get back to tending that garden, knowing that the Master Gardener’s got your back.

Happy gardening, and may your thoughts be as bountiful and beautiful as a springtime bloom!

Hello lovely humans! Want to know a secret? Every day can potentially be the best day of your life. And if you’re reading this, you’re probably a delightful Christian or at the very least, God-curious. So let’s get our holy receptiveness on and break down how to have a truly divine day.

1. Begin with a Gratitude Stretch

We’ve all heard about morning stretches, but have you tried a gratitude stretch? Before even getting out of bed, stretch those limbs to the heavens above (or ceiling fan, whichever is closer) and shout out five things you’re grateful for. No one will mind. Maybe it’s coffee, the sunlight through your window, or the socks you can’t find. Being grateful for lost socks might sound silly, but at least they aren’t lost sheep.

2. Breakfast – the Heavenly Way

Remember the loaves and the fishes? Great story, isn’t it? Well, unless you’ve got a divine touch, don’t expect to multiply your morning toast. But hey, why not fish for some compliments from yourself while munching your cereal? Tell yourself, “You’re looking especially Godly today,” or “Is that the Holy Spirit or are you just glowing from last night’s face mask?”

3. Dress like King Solomon (on a budget)

King Solomon was known for his wealth and wisdom. While we can’t all rock golden robes, we can definitely rock confidence. Wrap yourself in the armor of God and accessorize with a smile. Put on that shirt or dress you’ve been saving for a special occasion. Because guess what? The best day of your life deserves special occasion wear.

4. Holy Playlist

Make a joyful noise! Create a playlist of your favorite Christian jams. From contemporary artists to the classic hymns, dance like David did before the Ark. And don’t worry about anyone judging you. In this divine day scenario, everyone’s on the dance floor with you.

5. WWJD: What Would Jesus Drive?

The age-old question, with a modern twist! While Jesus might have preferred sandals over a sedan, it’s all about the journey, not the vehicle. Whether you walk, drive, or ride a donkey, make sure to spread love and kindness on your way. And if you’re in traffic, remember to bless those who cut you off. It’s what Jesus would do… probably.

6. Lunch with Lazarus

We don’t all have a friend who’s been brought back from the dead, but we all have those friends we haven’t caught up with in a while. Invite them for lunch! And if they ask why, just say, “Because every meal with you feels like a resurrection of good times.”

7. Do a Random Act of Kindness (RAOK)

It could be as simple as complimenting someone’s sandals or helping a neighbor carry groceries. After all, the Bible says, “It’s more blessed to give than to receive.” But if you’re giving away chocolates, maybe keep one for yourself. You’re doing a lot of heavenly work today!

8. Have a Sermon on the Mound (of Pillows)

Got any grievances or worries? Pile up some pillows, sit atop your mound and let it all out. Talk to God. Then, when you’re done, have a pillow fight with your problems. Spoiler alert: You win.

9. Dine Like the Last Supper

Okay, maybe not exactly like the Last Supper – there’s no betrayals at this one – but take a moment to savor every bite, cherish the company you’re with, and remember the love and sacrifices made for you.

10. End the Day Reflecting with Revelation

Close the day with some soulful reflection. Dive into Revelation and remember: you’re loved, chosen, and destined for greatness. Your day might have been filled with humor, but God’s love for you is no joke.

There you have it, folks. Ten hopefully holy ways to make your day feel truly heavenly. Remember, every day can be the best day of your life if you sprinkle a little faith, love, and laughter into it. Now go forth and be blessedly joyful! 🌟

Talk soon!

There’s an old saying that goes, “To err is human, to forgive, divine.” But we all know the real truth is, “To err is human, to pretend it never happened, even more human.” Unfortunately, Google hasn’t quite figured out how to erase our blunders from the memory of the universe. So, when you’ve really done something monumentally dumb, how do you recover? Don’t worry, even if you’ve successfully recreated the parting of the Red Sea in your kitchen or proven gravity’s existence with your new phone and a concrete floor, there’s hope.

Firstly, let’s address the elephant in the room. You’ve messed up. Congrats! You’ve officially joined the human race. Every Christian worth his or her salt knows that we’re not perfect beings. Remember Adam and Eve? They had one job, one rule. Yet, they still managed to drop the ball… or should I say, eat the forbidden fruit? But remember, it’s not about how we fall, but how we get up that matters.

Next, after messing up, we tend to panic. This typically involves a complex dance routine where we flail around wildly, knocking over anything within a five-foot radius, including dignity. Take a deep breath. Calm down. Remember, Jesus was known to calm storms, and I’m pretty sure he can handle your little weather system of chaos. Pause, pray, and remember to breathe. You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far. This one won’t be the exception.

Then comes confession time. Don’t worry, this isn’t about baring your soul to everyone on Facebook, but about taking responsibility. Remember when King David took a nose-dive off the moral high dive and tried to hide it? Yeah, that didn’t go so well. So, own up to your mistake, apologize if necessary, and learn from it. After all, God loves a humble heart, and owning your mistake is a step towards humility.

Now that you’ve owned up to your blooper, it’s time to mop up the mess, even if that means literally getting a mop. Taking action not only helps rectify the situation but also demonstrates your commitment to righting the wrong. Remember, faith without works is dead. So, don your superhero cape (or apron) and dive into the action.

Afterwards, remember that everyone has messed up, and most likely in more spectacular ways than you. Peter, the rock upon which Christ built his Church, had quite the impressive goof-up portfolio. He denied knowing Christ not once, not twice, but three times! Yet, he bounced back and became one of the greatest apostles. The point is, we all make mistakes, so cut yourself some slack.

Finally, find the humor in your situation. Laughter is the best medicine, and a bit of self-deprecating humor can defuse even the most disastrous blunders. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” So, why not apply that medicine to your self-inflicted wounds?

As you navigate through the minefield of your monumental mess-ups, remember that you’re not alone. We serve a God of second chances (and third, and fourth…). He specializes in turning messes into messages and tests into testimonies. He took Peter’s denials and turned them into devotion, Paul’s persecution into proclamation, and He can take your blunders and turn them into blessings.

Messing up might feel like the end of the world, but it’s not. It’s simply an opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better version of ourselves. After all, some of our best stories come from our worst mistakes. Remember, we are all clay in the hands of the Master Potter. Sometimes, He has to remold us a few times before we come out just right. So, the next time you do something dumb, take a deep breath, pray, and prepare for your divine redo. It might just be the start of an amazing transformation.

Hello, my esteemed readers! It’s that time of the year again. Time to dust off the marital playbook and reflect on the 43-year long journey I’ve spent tripping, stumbling, and occasionally sprinting towards marital bliss. I hope my wisdom proves useful, and if not, may it at least provide you with a few chuckles. Here are my 43 lessons learned, one for each year of wedded… adventure.

1. Marry someone with a different favorite cereal. This way, you’ll never have to argue over the last bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at 3 am.
2. Always keep your spouse’s favorite snack in the pantry. That way, you have a foolproof way to end arguments. “Honey, I…wait, is that a Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie?”
3. The secret to a happy marriage? Two words: separate blankets.
4. Understanding is crucial. After 43 years, I now understand she is always right, and I usually don’t have any idea what’s going on.
5. Remember, your spouse is not a mind reader. If they were, they’d probably be on tour with Cirque Du Soleil, not arguing over the thermostat with you.
6. Always have an emergency jar of strawberry preserves on hand. Trust me on this.
7. Marry someone who laughs at your jokes. Even the ones that aren’t funny. Especially those ones.
8. Always carry a photo of your spouse in your wallet. When your credit card bill comes in, it’ll remind you why you’re broke.
9. If you must argue, make it about something significant. Like whether it’s pronounced “gif” or “jif”.
10. Learn the art of compromise. For example, she hates spiders, and they don’t bother me and I’m willing to let them hang out and eat bugs. So, we compromised, and now we live with a spider named Phil.
11. You’re not just marrying your spouse, you’re marrying their choice of TV shows too. Brace yourself.
12. Perfect the ‘nod and smile’ early on. It comes in handy when you have no idea what she’s talking about but want to appear interested.
13. Once you realize that the dishwasher is a mysterious creature which no human can ever load correctly, you’re halfway to a happy marriage.
14. If you’re wrong, admit it. If you’re right, tread lightly. Really, really lightly.
15. The couple who DIYs together, stays together. Even if it does take three weeks, four trips to the hardware store, and an emotional breakdown to build a birdhouse.
16. In a happy marriage, communication is key. In an ecstatic one, selective hearing reigns supreme.
17. Marry someone who can cook. Love might be the secret ingredient, but knowing how to make real biscuits helps.
18. Remember to celebrate the small victories. Like that time when she finally agreed your favorite armchair didn’t belong on the porch.
19. If you can survive painting a room together, you can survive anything.
20. Accept that the toilet paper will never be on the holder the ‘right’ way. The sooner you come to terms with this, the happier you’ll be.
21. In marriage, you must be patient. Patience is what you have when you have too many witnesses to act otherwise.
22. A happy marriage is finding that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
23. Remember, it’s not about who wears the pants. It’s about who controls the TV remote.
24. Honesty is vital in a marriage. Just not when she asks if her favorite shirt makes her look fat.
25. If you’re lucky enough to find someone as weird as you, never let them go. Unless they put milk in before the cereal. Then you should reconsider.
26. Remember, marriage is about seeing each other at your worst and sticking around anyway. Even if ‘worst’ means singing show tunes in dinosaur pajamas.
27. Regular date nights are key. They remind you why you fell in love, and who’s turn it is to pay the bill.
28. When in doubt, remember the three magical words: “You’re right, dear.”
29. The secret to a lasting marriage? Treat it like a seance. Sit in a dark room, speak to people who aren’t there, and quietly hope that the spirits move the coffee table.
30. Marry someone who can laugh when you trip and fall… but who will also help you up and ask if you’re okay.
31. Always hold hands. If you let go, she shops.
32. Let her have the last piece of cake. If it’s red velvet, this can add years to your marriage.
33. If you find socks all over the house, you’re not alone. You’re married.
34. Love is grand. But having the whole bed to yourself every now and then is too.
35. Remember, a perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. Or give up on being able to meet for lunch at the same time.
36. Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.
37. Learn to apologize. Repeat. And again.
38. Keep her favorite flowers in mind. And if all else fails, remember that ‘flour’ for baking has often a similar pronunciation.
39. Just remember, love is all you need. And a reliable Wi-Fi connection.
40. Learn to forgive. Because she will remember, and she will bring it up at the most inopportune times.
41. Hug daily. But check your spouse’s hands for permanent markers first.
42. A marriage is based on trust. Especially trusting that she won’t share that embarrassing story from a classic vacation with your friends.
43. Lastly, never stop saying “I love you”. Even if it’s just because you forgot to take out the trash. Again.
44. BONUS: Say “I love you,” and mean it. 

There you have it. 43 years of wedded bliss wrapped up into 43 little nuggets of wisdom. Remember, a sense of humor is vital in marriage. After all, if you can’t laugh at yourselves, who will? Be blessed, and here’s to another 43 years!

Less than a week ago I had eye surgery. I haven’t said a whole lot about the nature of the surgery itself. I’ll say that it hasn’t been pleasant, but it wasn’t risky. I’m doing well, and can go back to work next week.

I’ve been homebound, which for an introvert isn’t the worst thing that can happen. What has been challenging, though, is that for the first few post-op days I had to restrict screen time – very limited computer, television, iPhone, all that. Nor could I read. Any of these activities made it feel like my eyeballs were melting and running down my cheeks. There’s an image for you – reference Raiders of the Lost Ark to complete the picture.

Thank God for Audible. There is nothing wrong with having someone else read to you.

What’s been interesting, and at times downright bizarre, is how aware I’ve been of time.

I never get bored. Seriously. I can always find something to do. Boredom seems to equate to time … the more you have on your hands, the more likely boredom becomes.

And yet, time rushes by. It doesn’t matter the state of your health, what you find to do with yourself, or how busy or idle you are. Time is time. Our perception of it is what makes it real to us. It doesn’t matter if you’re cleaning the bathtub or composing a symphony. It moves at the same pace regardless of my request to speed things up, or slow things down.

Laying on the couch with cold compresses over my eyes, in self-imposed darkness, I got to thinking about where the time has gone, and I’m talking about 67 years of time.

The usual thoughts crop up. Watching our kids grow up and start families. Experiencing body parts wearing out. Thinking about places I’ve lived, churches I’ve served, people who have crossed my path that made indelible impressions on me, and watching the seasons change.

To use a shopworn phrase: “It is what it is.” Time, I mean.

Know what I can do, though? In spite of the flow of time, I can make choices as how to use it. Things around me change all the time. I just need to make wise decisions in the midst of all that change. I am not powerless. I can choose. I have the power to choose.

You do, too. You can absolutely choose the quality of your life even if you can’t control the outcome of what’s happening around you.

What I’m seeing in these days are so many people yearning for a return to what once was, whatever that is to them. They don’t want to change unless it can take them back to a perceived better place.

Well, pilgrim, things do change, sometimes rapidly, and there is plenty that we’ll never go back to. We have to grapple with that.

I am not exempt from how life keeps moving in me and around me. And there’s a conclusion that is certain: unless Jesus delays his return (and I’m so dang ready for that!) then I am going to pass away. You too.

While that sounds grim, it’s really not. Our deaths should be a healthy consideration, because it helps us determine what we need to be about in the meantime.

It’s simple, really. We need to make wise choices. I can’t spend my life paralyzed thinking about how awful things are. I mean, we live in a fallen world. Should we expect anything other than awfulness?

What are we supposed to do, then?

Slow down a bit. (I’ve been forced to do that, and it ain’t all bad.)

We live in the midst of chaos, and it will continue relentlessly.

Try standing still.

You know what the end game is. I get the picture of storm-driven ocean waves crashing against a rock – the waves part and spray and the rock stays firm.

Beloved, you can actually choose to be that rock. Read that again. It’s absolutely true. Don’t play the victim. Don’t bemoan how awful things are. (And my mantra: Avoid the news, except for the things you can actually take action on. Feel free to watch sports and weather, though. Most everything else will put you in a dark place, and you don’t need to do that to yourself.)

Yeah, there are changes that need to be made. I’m not advocating abdicating your responsibilities as a parent, son, daughter, friend, citizen, church member, or anything like that. There are things to be improved, values to embrace and defend, and priorities to set.

Know this: if we’re going to make any changes, it’s time to do that right now, because time is limited. You have to choose, and you’re supernaturally equipped to do just that. Life is a gift, and a long(er) life isn’t guaranteed. How you choose will impact your present and shape your future.

In October of 2016 I gave up worrying. It didn’t seem to help. I recommend doing that.

Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. Maybe just “whelmed.”

Ancient script has some good stuff to encourage you.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

As always, believer, I feel obligated to share this: Whatever you’re facing, it’s gonna be alright. It always has been, and always will be. Without fail. Easy? Probably not. The ultimate victory? It’s all yours.

Choose wisely and make things more fulfilling and rewarding for yourself.

Talk later! Responses are encouraged and welcome.

For those of us in the States, the time is here again for our midsummer’s patriotic respite.

For many, the Fourth of July means parades and picnics, hot dogs and Coca-Cola, ice cream and apple pie, baseball and bombs bursting in air. In God’s good providence, the adoption of Jefferson’s Declaration in 1776 happened during one of the best weather weeks of the year in this hemisphere. And so for 247 years now, the significance and seasonal timing of the day have conspired to make it a deeply rooted annual occasion in the American psyche.

It’s good to pause to ask whether there’s anything that makes the day different for an American follower of Jesus. Does being born again affect how we view the Fourth of July? Here are four layers of perspective for the Christian in contemplating the Fourth specifically, and human government in general.

1 – Where Our Fundamental Identity Lies

First, let’s be clear about where the Christian’s deepest identity lies. If we are in Christ, joined to him by faith, all other pledges of allegiance have been relativized, whatever our nation of origin or naturalization. We still have our loyalties — they may even multiply — but none goes this deep. No man can ultimately serve both God and country. In Jesus, we have one final allegiance, and thus in this world we will always be, in some real sense, pilgrims, strangers and aliens, sojourners and exiles (1 Peter 2:11).

For the Christian, our citizenship in any nation aims to be “worthy of the gospel of Christ” (Philippians 1:27), not merely worthy of that political state. At the most basic level, “our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,” who will do for us what no political entity in this world will ever do — “transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself”(Philippians 3:20–21).

At the end of the day, we are sons of God, not sons of Uncle Sam. Our fundamental identity is in God, not country.

Which means that as we Americans sing the anthem together and pledge allegiance side by side, and enjoy the parades and fireworks shoulder to shoulder, we create and strengthen ties that only go so far. The blood of Jesus runs deeper than the blood that flows in defining or defending any nation. Our fellows in political liberty are important, but not as significant as our fellows in Jesus from every tribe and tongue. Yes, we seek to do good to our fellow Americans, but especially to those who are of the worldwide household of faith (Galatians 6:10).

2 – Embracing God’s Goodness in the Fatherland

Second, though our embrace of fatherland is relativized by our embrace of Jesus and his Father, it is good and healthy to have real affection for the nation we call our own. It is right for the Christian to be patriotic and reserve a special kind of love for city and country. In fact, it’s a sign that something may be amiss spiritually if the Christian doesn’t have some tempered but tangible sense of belonging to his fatherland. It’s not only okay for American Christians to enjoy being American on the Fourth; it’s commended.

God means for us to be appropriately enmeshed in this world (as Jesus prays in John 17, not of the world, but sent into it). Christ and country aren’t irreconcilable. In Jesus’s perfect arithmetic, there is space not only to render God our everything, but render to Caesar his share as well (Matthew 22:21–22).

Christians render respect to whom respect is owed, and honor to whom honor is owed (Romans 13:7). We acknowledge God’s common goodness when our nation is manifestly “God’s servant for your good” (Romans 13:4) and the authorities are “ministers of God” (Romans 13:6). “Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:17).

3 – Genuine Gratitude for the Goodness

Third, it follows that as God’s common goodness is manifested in our political state, we should be genuinely grateful. We give thanks when thanks is owed.

Perhaps we balk at being “proud to be an American” — and would prefer to be “humbled” by it. That’s wise and good. And we need not make any such alteration to the call to be thankful.

Given the fallen condition of our world because of human sin, we should be amazed how much common goodness God continues to create and uphold in nations good and even bad. In the same breath Paul instructs Christians to be good citizens — “to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people” (Titus 3:1–2) — he also reminds us about our native condition:

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy . . . . (Titus 3:3–5)

Given our depravity, and the diabolical desires that have a foothold in humanity for now, it is extraordinary mercy not only that any are saved at all, but also that any of our nations aren’t in worse shape than they are. We betray the far-reaching effects of God’s kindness when we’re so consumed with frustrations about our homeland that we can’t see many good things to be grateful for.

4 – Taking Others to the True Country

Finally, for now, it continues to be legal to speak the gospel in public in these United States, and even to press for repentance and faith. This is a glorious liberty. Let’s make the most of it while we can, remembering that we Christians have a true country, which will satisfy our inconsolable longing like no nation in the present can. And let’s double our joy by bringing as many others with us as we can. It’s hard to say it any better than C.S. Lewis:

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or to be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage.

I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that country and to help others to do the same. (Mere Christianity)

If such a perspective would fly as the star-spangled banner over our Independence Day celebrations with family and friends, we might find them richer than ever.

Let’s be profoundly grateful for the freedom we have in this country to recruit for the true one, and let’s be unashamed to seize upon our fellow Americans’ desire for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and show them in whom such joy is truly found.

Note: I found this in my folder of “idea” files. I genuinely don’t know who provided the original thoughts. I’ve tweaked them some and added some. If I could give due credit to the original author, I would.