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Doesn’t “getting rest” sound appealing? Not rest in the sense you need to recharge before taking on some other task. Rather, it’s just getting rest because you are supposed to get rest.

I ran across this on someone else’s Instagram page:

I had to check out The Nap Ministry, and I found that they aren’t a Christian site, so I want to be wary about the term “ministry.” Still, the sentiment expressed here fits in well with the ancient mandate of Sabbath. That’s not something we do well in 2021, at least here in the West, or the United States.

We equate busyness with godliness. Where’d that come from?

Face it: You are probably carrying a much greater load than you should be. We all do. We have obligations, responsibilities, and simple work that we think we have to fulfill.

I’d suggest that if we don’t have ways to lighten that load, we’re gonna ultimately be crushed, of no use to ourselves or anyone else.

There’s a component of guilt involved in this situation, too. We feel we’re totally and uniquely responsible for doing our duty. Well, we are obligated to our duties. Problem is, we struggle to distinguish what our own duties are, and invariably we load more stuff on ourselves. Then we hold out our martyr cards for someone else to punch, and we get a sick satisfaction out of knowing we’ve worked and served really hard.

“Getting rest,” then, seems to be the same as being lazy.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

You’re probably already ahead of me on this, but ancient script says this in Matthew 11:28-30:

²⁸ “Come to me,all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

From time to time, I’m asked if I have a “life verse.” I really don’t – it just depends on what season of life I’m in at any given time, and often I’ll find a passage that speaks to me. This one is especially resonant these days.

Know why? I’m tired.

I’m tired of meanness. I’m tired of people shaming each other because they don’t see things the same way (in politics, in pandemics, in a whole host of other areas.) I’m tired of people going for the “gotcha” on social media. I don’t want to assume motives on the part of others, but it seems that some are trying to persuade their peers to come around to their way of thinking.

Let me say that implying the other person is an idiot is not a good way to win fans. And while I love a funny meme as much as the next person, it doesn’t hurt to do a motive check before posting. Are you trying to be helpful, encouraging, or just plain funny – or are you getting some sort of validation by displaying your superior, smug attitude because you know better than everyone else?

I know I’m coming across as sanctimonious. Moving on … we were talking about getting rest, right?

Backing up to my scripture reference … there are plenty of reasons to turn to Jesus in these days (and, of course, there are always plenty of reasons to do so!) Sometimes we need healing, other times purpose, and always we need encouragement. Maybe we don’t come to Jesus because of stress and the need for rest like we should.

I’m talking about the kind of stress that comes from a tired mind and weary soul. Lets’s collectively ‘fess up – at some point, we’re all gonna deal with either tension, worry, fear, anxiety, depression, or a combination of all these. That’s why that photo I posted above might be helpful.

But, that’s just a short-term fix. Because at some point, you have to get up from that nap and re-enter the external world.

You’re gonna be impressed with my grasp of the obvious here, but the only thing that will help is God Himself. Just spending time with Him alone.

I think so many of our problems in life grow from our inability to simply be still.

It’s matter of sitting down with God, asking “Is there anything you need to tell me?” And then just shutting the heck up and listening.

Another issue? It might be that you are trying to control too much.

You think everything relies on you, and you’re responsible for making it all right.

This is a tough one for me. I have never perceived myself as being a control freak – a tendency I see in others that drives me nuts – but I do see that there are plenty of times when I want others to be getting rest while I sacrifice my own need for rest for them.

Well, Tony, you are not the Assistant to the Holy Spirit. I can resign and the world won’t fall apart.

Since most of us don’t live in an agrarian society any more, the concept of being yoked doesn’t mean a lot. The illustration Jesus is going for here is the picture of two farm animals, oxen, specifically, being bound together with their necks in a piece of wood called a yoke. That yoke halves the load for those animals. It’s a partnership.

We were never designed to carry all the stress in our lives by ourselves. I mean – duh – Jesus is saying He’ll carry part of the load for us. It’s how we’re hardwired as believers – we’re supposed to depend on Him.

One part of this yoke analogy we don’t think about is that the yoke is also a symbol of control. Oxen are yoked together because the farmer wants them to move in the same direction.

My admittedly obvious observation is that we can get in serious trouble when we don’t go in the same direction as Jesus. We experience stress and grief when we try to do things our own way.

I mean – we’re always gonna be yoked to something – other’s expectations, our perceived necessity to the world, or even our own selfish wants.

If I’m gonna be yoked to something, then, I want it to be the easiest yoke I can choose. Getting rest is the result.

Jesus wants us to learn humility and gentleness from Him. That’s the opposite of arrogance and aggression. That’s one reason that, as of late, I’ve tried not to post anything on social media that isn’t positive, uplifting, or funny – and that means not trying to be funny at the expense of someone else. (And, as I’ve often noted, humor is in the eye of the beholder, and my sense of funny and yours might not match up. But I mean no harm!)

Ultimately, you are not in control of everything in your life. You might jump way out ahead of what God is teaching you, and the consequences of your words and actions can come back and bite you in the nether regions.

The antidote, then, is to trust Him. If getting rest is what you need, here’s a promise you want to claim.

Talk later!

“I’m stressed out.” You ever said that? Is that where you’re living right now?

Perhaps you’ve heard my testimony about dealing with mental and emotional issues, especially after my head injury and subsequent post-concussion syndrome for the last couple of years. It’s a thing, and I never dreamed I’d be that person that people would talk about saying, “Poor Tony. After he scrambled his brain, he never was the same again.”

That’s true, I guess. But I’m not stressed out because of that. Actually, I’m generally not stressed out anyway. I’m pretty chill. Depression is my Kryptonite; that’s not what we’re talking about today.

I watch people I know and love in recent days teeter on the verge of a “come apart” (and if you’re not a Southerner, I don’t know if that communicates well. If you’re one of my foreign readers, it just means that you are about to break down, have a fit, or conniption, or whatever.) They are legitimately stressed out.

What do you do if you’re in that state?

I have four thoughts to pass along.

1. If worry and anxiety are a problem for you, set aside a specific time of day for it. You think I’m kidding? I’m not. Don’t let it ruin your whole day. If worry creeps in and you’re stressed out, then jot it down and determine to put if off until your scheduled “worry time.” That compartmentalizes it, condenses it, and gives you freedom for the rest of the day. That’s actually a stopgap measure – we want to squelch stress and not have to make time for it.
2. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. I believe stress can be born from suppressed emotions – guilt, jealousy, hatred, anger, and envy can all cause huge anxiety. Sometimes you can figure out what the issue is. Other times, a professional needs to evaluate what’s happening. Once the emotion and its source are pinpointed, two things need to happen:
   1. Ventilate those feelings. Get them out. I’d say that you need to have a safe person to open up to. I’d start with the One who is always there, God Himself. He’s promised to never leave or forsake you. It’s all about confessing your thoughts and actions.
   2. Cultivate good friendships. This can be tricky, because I’m talking about more than just acquaintances. This will need to be someone who can keep confidences, someone who has your best interests at heart, and who won’t judge.
   3. The biggie? Accept God’s forgiveness for your weaknesses, but you absolutely, without question, need to forgive others you feel have done you wrong. There is no shortcut, and you cannot, under any circumstances as a child of God, excuse a lack of forgiveness. You can’t control  the actions of other folks, but you can always choose to forgive. That’s liberating.
3. Schedule and practice a quiet time. If you want to function and not be stressed out, then you need to have a definite time of solitude and reflection. Wondering how you can find the time for it? You just do. I assure you there are plenty of people who have fuller schedules than you who make this a priority. I promise you can find five minutes. That’s a great starting point.
   1. Meditation is a part of this. If you’re stressed out, this will help. I’m not talking about some eastern religion weird thing, but just a time to let God speak. You breathe. You find a natural rhythm. Be still and listen. Shhhh.
   2. Then there’s prayer. If you’re a stressed-out believer, this is crucial. Ancient script – from Philippians 4 – states: 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I love this because it speaks of God’s peace guarding our hearts and minds. Your rational mind can inform you that you have no reason to be stressed out, but we are anyway. It’s because your mind knows what’s happening but it hasn’t made it to your heart yet. Still – you can have peace. It’s a promise.
4. Be obedient. This is tough if you’re stressed out. Most of the time we’re very aware of God’s will, because it’s spelled out in scripture. We just have to do what we know we’re supposed to. Simple, right? Sometimes, not so much. Here’s the thing: we often wait until we’re faced with a big decision between right and wrong. Then we’re caught off guard and screw up. Well, the best time to make a decision is before circumstances force us to make a decision. Settle in your mind and heart that you’re going to follow God’s teachings, no matter what. If we fail (and we will), then we simply confess, agree with God we blew it, and move the heck on.

Obviously, this is not a comprehensive list of what to do when you’re stressed out.

I know our lives are hectic, demanding, and stressful. Even good things can contribute to that stress and anxiety – family, work, school, sports, and other activities. What can you do to deal with those pressures?

Just get as close to God as you can and roll with it.

Be well.

Character. Do you know what that is? Do you know how to develop character?

This may be a non-issue for you. You may be the most consistent person in the universe. You are unfailingly the same, no matter the circumstances or who you’re with.

Character is who you are when no one’s looking. Is that who you are? To develop character, you have to be consistent and authentic, all the time. All the time.

Don’t give yourself any wiggle room on this. If you’re going to develop character, you have to do a serious gut check.

Fortunately, you can correct those inconsistencies.

The reason I’m tackling this today is that I’ve come to see why some people are depressed and even hopeless is because they know they aren’t being true to their authentic selves. They are chameleons, adapting to whatever their environment is. This isn’t inherently bad. The problem comes when we try to “get away” with something. Perhaps we pretend to be something we aren’t to fit in.

Character is who we are at our core. There’s good character and bad character, yes?

I just don’t believe we need to bring any more grief on ourselves than we have to. That means we have to choose who we really are (and you can choose – you aren’t totally hardwired and unchangeable).

To pull this off – and to develop character as we should – there are some steps we can take. Some of them call for some earnest self-evaluation. That’s not always pleasant. But to move you from where you are (especially if you’re feeling like a phony) to where you need to be (walking upright before God and man), we need to confront what I call “the me nobody knows.”

I’d love for you to do this in writing in a journal. Barring that, at least put some serious thought into what I’m asking. You know I’m a huge proponent of journaling. I’d encourage you not to take any shortcuts. You’ll be better for it.

First, think of at least three occasions when you did the right thing.

I’d even go as far as to ask you to identify those three things you did in spite of the cost. You held fast against the prevailing winds. You stiffened your spine and faced what might’ve hurt you, your relationships, your vocation, or any number of things.

Attaboy. Attagirl.

Second, think about three times you blew it.

You caved.

Because of circumstances, other people, a temptation, whatever – you messed up. Maybe no one knows about it but you. But you know, deep down in your bone marrow, that you showed a shocking lack of integrity. When it came t0 developing character, you came up lacking.

Write this down, too.

Third, I’d like for you to come up with three people in your life with whom you aren’t being completely honest.

This isn’t about revealing your most private thoughts. We all have those. What we’re after is a list of three people that you are consciously and purposefully misleading. Maybe you’re hiding something. Maybe there is something in your life you’re ashamed of. You feel that if they knew what was going on, they’d turn their backs on you.

Honesty. It’s a crucial part of developing character. It’ll keep you from feeling like a fraud.

Fourth, think of three ways you aren’t being true to the best that’s in you.

You know what you are capable of. You know that, by God’s grace, you have what it takes to be a winner. I’m not trying to be some sort of motivational guru. But most of us recognize a gap between where we are and where we need to be. I’d even go as far as to say you already know what it would take to let your best self rise.

So identify three areas that could use some real work. Those areas that would bring you immense personal blessings but, for whatever reason, you find yourself content to be quietly miserable.

And fifth, think of three areas of personal stress. Here’s the question: How might they be caused by you yourself?

It’s an awful thought, knowing that stress is self-inflicted. I don’t have any empirical evidence to back this up, but I believe that so much of the hopelessness, anxiety, and fear we feel is because of stress. Furthermore, that stress might be rooted in our own lack of character. We aren’t being faithful to who we are or should be. We become inauthentic when we pretend or cover up.

I’m still working through how I feel about all this. Maybe this is a reach. What I am certain of, though, is that a lack of character, an abandonment of authenticity, will erode your soul.

Just be real.

If your character is in shambles, and you feel like a fraud, you can turn that around. The first step is acknowledging your state and what it’s doing to you.

Lord knows we’re all works in progress, and don’t use my musings as an excuse to beat yourself up.

Developing character is all about being authentic. Let that be your passion. You’ll be better for it.

~ Tony ~