For those of us in the States, the time is here again for our midsummer’s patriotic respite.

For many, the Fourth of July means parades and picnics, hot dogs and Coca-Cola, ice cream and apple pie, baseball and bombs bursting in air. In God’s good providence, the adoption of Jefferson’s Declaration in 1776 happened during one of the best weather weeks of the year in this hemisphere. And so for 247 years now, the significance and seasonal timing of the day have conspired to make it a deeply rooted annual occasion in the American psyche.

It’s good to pause to ask whether there’s anything that makes the day different for an American follower of Jesus. Does being born again affect how we view the Fourth of July? Here are four layers of perspective for the Christian in contemplating the Fourth specifically, and human government in general.

1 – Where Our Fundamental Identity Lies

First, let’s be clear about where the Christian’s deepest identity lies. If we are in Christ, joined to him by faith, all other pledges of allegiance have been relativized, whatever our nation of origin or naturalization. We still have our loyalties — they may even multiply — but none goes this deep. No man can ultimately serve both God and country. In Jesus, we have one final allegiance, and thus in this world we will always be, in some real sense, pilgrims, strangers and aliens, sojourners and exiles (1 Peter 2:11).

For the Christian, our citizenship in any nation aims to be “worthy of the gospel of Christ” (Philippians 1:27), not merely worthy of that political state. At the most basic level, “our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,” who will do for us what no political entity in this world will ever do — “transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself”(Philippians 3:20–21).

At the end of the day, we are sons of God, not sons of Uncle Sam. Our fundamental identity is in God, not country.

Which means that as we Americans sing the anthem together and pledge allegiance side by side, and enjoy the parades and fireworks shoulder to shoulder, we create and strengthen ties that only go so far. The blood of Jesus runs deeper than the blood that flows in defining or defending any nation. Our fellows in political liberty are important, but not as significant as our fellows in Jesus from every tribe and tongue. Yes, we seek to do good to our fellow Americans, but especially to those who are of the worldwide household of faith (Galatians 6:10).

2 – Embracing God’s Goodness in the Fatherland

Second, though our embrace of fatherland is relativized by our embrace of Jesus and his Father, it is good and healthy to have real affection for the nation we call our own. It is right for the Christian to be patriotic and reserve a special kind of love for city and country. In fact, it’s a sign that something may be amiss spiritually if the Christian doesn’t have some tempered but tangible sense of belonging to his fatherland. It’s not only okay for American Christians to enjoy being American on the Fourth; it’s commended.

God means for us to be appropriately enmeshed in this world (as Jesus prays in John 17, not of the world, but sent into it). Christ and country aren’t irreconcilable. In Jesus’s perfect arithmetic, there is space not only to render God our everything, but render to Caesar his share as well (Matthew 22:21–22).

Christians render respect to whom respect is owed, and honor to whom honor is owed (Romans 13:7). We acknowledge God’s common goodness when our nation is manifestly “God’s servant for your good” (Romans 13:4) and the authorities are “ministers of God” (Romans 13:6). “Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor” (1 Peter 2:17).

3 – Genuine Gratitude for the Goodness

Third, it follows that as God’s common goodness is manifested in our political state, we should be genuinely grateful. We give thanks when thanks is owed.

Perhaps we balk at being “proud to be an American” — and would prefer to be “humbled” by it. That’s wise and good. And we need not make any such alteration to the call to be thankful.

Given the fallen condition of our world because of human sin, we should be amazed how much common goodness God continues to create and uphold in nations good and even bad. In the same breath Paul instructs Christians to be good citizens — “to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people” (Titus 3:1–2) — he also reminds us about our native condition:

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy . . . . (Titus 3:3–5)

Given our depravity, and the diabolical desires that have a foothold in humanity for now, it is extraordinary mercy not only that any are saved at all, but also that any of our nations aren’t in worse shape than they are. We betray the far-reaching effects of God’s kindness when we’re so consumed with frustrations about our homeland that we can’t see many good things to be grateful for.

4 – Taking Others to the True Country

Finally, for now, it continues to be legal to speak the gospel in public in these United States, and even to press for repentance and faith. This is a glorious liberty. Let’s make the most of it while we can, remembering that we Christians have a true country, which will satisfy our inconsolable longing like no nation in the present can. And let’s double our joy by bringing as many others with us as we can. It’s hard to say it any better than C.S. Lewis:

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or to be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage.

I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that country and to help others to do the same. (Mere Christianity)

If such a perspective would fly as the star-spangled banner over our Independence Day celebrations with family and friends, we might find them richer than ever.

Let’s be profoundly grateful for the freedom we have in this country to recruit for the true one, and let’s be unashamed to seize upon our fellow Americans’ desire for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and show them in whom such joy is truly found.

Note: I found this in my folder of “idea” files. I genuinely don’t know who provided the original thoughts. I’ve tweaked them some and added some. If I could give due credit to the original author, I would. 

The Bible holds a bounty of wisdom, teachings, and timeless stories, providing a solid foundation for building strong values and attitudes. One such virtue you’ll find is that of having a positive mindset. I’m not talking about some sort of motivational self-help thing … you know, “think positive thoughts.” There’s nothing wrong with that. But because of our daily trials, tribulations, and occasional uncertainties, positivity becomes a beacon, lighting our path towards hope, resilience, and personal growth.

Being positive doesn’t necessarily imply a constant state of happiness or ignoring the reality of our trials, but it does involve a willingness to view our life events from a hopeful perspective. As Romans 8:28 (NIV) assures,

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Embracing this scriptural promise empowers us to see the potential good that can emerge from any situation.

Sounds good, right? Still, you might wonder, “How can I develop such a mindset?” That’s what I’m tackling today. These are good, practical teachings. I have five. That sounded about right.

1. Practice Gratitude

The importance of gratitude is highlighted throughout the Bible. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) tells us to

“give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

By consciously appreciating the blessings we have, we shift our focus from what we lack to what we possess. Get it? This practice enables us to anchor our hearts in positivity, acknowledging that even in trying times, there are always reasons to be grateful.

A practical strategy is to maintain a gratitude journal. From personal experience, I can tell you that this changes everything. Each day, write down at least three things you are thankful for, no matter how small they may seem. This will train your mind to seek out the good in every situation, enhancing your positive perspective.

2. Trust in God’s Plan

Trusting in God’s divine plan can often be a challenge, especially when we are faced with adversity. However, remembering Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)…

“’For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

…provides a reminder that every challenge we face is a part of God’s master plan.

Praying for patience and trusting in God’s timing can help strengthen this mindset. When faced with hardship, take a moment to pray, surrendering your concerns and seeking peace in the understanding that God is in control.

3. Seek the Company of Positive Individuals

The Bible reminds us in Proverbs 27:17 (NIV),

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

This is one you shouldn’t overlook. Even now there is one person in my circle who absolutely sucks the life out of me. Surrounding yourself with positive people can influence your thoughts, inspiring optimism and hope. Engage in fellowship with those who uplift your spirit, reminding you of God’s love and promises.

4. Positive Affirmations from the Bible

There is significant power in the spoken word, and this is apparent throughout biblical teachings. Using positive affirmations derived from scripture can shape your mindset, reinforcing your faith and fostering a hopeful outlook. For instance, phrases such as…

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NIV)

…can serve as daily reminders of your capabilities and God’s unwavering support. I used to blow off positive self-talk as some kind of feel-good voodoo. Then I realized that I’d been saying things to myself that, if anyone else were doing that, I’d punch them. Speak kindly to you.

5. Regularly Reflect on Scripture

Dedicate time each day to reading and reflecting upon the Bible. Scriptures provide valuable insights and encouragement, promoting a positive mindset. Consider passages like Romans 15:13 (NIV),

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

These words can serve as anchors of hope, boosting your positivity. You’ve heard from many people how important it is to set aside some one-on-one Jesus time. It’s a big deal; again, from personal experience, this is a game-changer.

Cultivating a positive mindset, grounded in biblical teachings, is a journey rather than a destination. It’s about nurturing habits of gratitude, trust in God’s plan, seeking positive company, affirming ourselves through scripture, and regularly reflecting upon the word of God. This path offers us the ability to view life with hope, resilience, and positivity, ultimately helping us to find joy and fulfillment in all circumstances. In doing so, we learn to recognize that our trials are not merely obstacles, but opportunities for growth, faith deepening, and testament to our resilience in Christ.

Remember,

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-17, NIV).

So. Embrace the transformative power of positive thinking, always grounded in God’s loving guidance.

Talk later!

I love the Bible. Some folks struggle to read it. Me, I eat it up.

It hasn’t always been that way. I’d say, “Okay, Tony, you’re gonna read the Bible all the way through this year.” Out of a sense of obligation – sort of like taking a daily dose of cholesterol medicine or something – I’d start reading.

Genesis was great. There are so many good stories and colorful characters in that book! So I’d breeze through Genesis, feeling pretty good about myself.

Exodus was next and, again, there were plenty of compelling stories to engage me.

Next – Leviticus. This is where I’d finally miss a couple of days reading, then maybe a week, and ultimately – I’d gradually cave and forget about my plan. Leviticus, right? Whew.

Later in life, though, the Bible took on a life of its own. I’m sitting here trying to remember the progression, what brought me to a point of being utterly dependent on my reading, but something triggered my passion. Part of it might’ve been finding a good reading plan (or more.) It may have been looking at my reading as a joy instead of an obligation. Who knows?

Couple that with filing a shelf with study Bibles. I’m a seminary graduate, but my degree is in religious education, so I didn’t have to study languages … Greek and Hebrew. While the theology majors were doing their thing, we education students were learning how to divide people into groups and how to use scissors.

I digress. Study Bibles – that’s where I can at least partially make up for my lack of language studies. Plus, a good study Bible makes scripture accessible and easier to understand. A good study Bible inspires and equips.

Recently I was given the opportunity to receive a free copy of the NIV Study Bible, published by Zondervan. I got this as a member of the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid. Bible Gateway is the Internet’s most visited Christian website. Good folks; highly recommended! Check out their store at https://bit.ly/3ZOM2DM. While you’re at it, visit the Amazon page for the Bible at https://amzn.to/3lhifos.

The Bible, according to the cover copy, “is specifically designed to help students understand and navigate the Bible text with tools like a 3-Track Reading Plan, Book Introductions, Highlights and insights into confusing verses, and personal profiles of 100 People You Should know.”

This Bible delivers the goods. It’s geared toward students, but the more I delved into it, the more I realized that restricting it to simply an audience of “students” does the rest of us a disservice. I’ll use this one in my own studies. It’s that helpful.

A few things of note:

The 3-Track Reading Plan is a terrific way to develop a love for scriptures at whatever level you want to invest in. Track 1, for instance, asks for a commitment of two weeks at a time, reading a chapter a day. It’s sort of a “greatest hits” plan. Tracks 2 and 3 get progressively deeper, with Track 3 asking for a commitment to read every word in the Bible over a three-year period. All the tracks do a fine job of battling overwhelm and discouragement.

Other unique features include accessible introductions to each book, insights scattered throughout the text that are written like magazine articles, and notes that parallel the Track 2 reading plan.

Want more? I loved the reference section covering a host of well-known events. If you’re prone to get bogged down in the Old Testament when trying to follow and connect rulers – 38 kings and a queen – there’s a section that breaks this down in one of the most understandable ways I could imagine. There is also a Subject Guide, not really a concordance, but rather a list of major subjects of interest, along with the appropriate Bible passages. This is some good stuff.

There are plenty of other features to delve into, and you can go to the links I shared earlier to get details.

My takeaway? For students – whoever self-identifies as such – I think this is one of the best Bibles out there. I hope they sell a boatload of these. I’d love to see it in as many hands as possible.

Talk soon!

#BibleGatewayPartner

Where’s your faith? Mine is trying to play hide-and-seek.

Faith is an incredibly powerful force that can restore hope in the most challenging of times. The Bible teaches us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). When we put our faith in God and trust in His plan, we can find the strength to persevere and overcome even the most difficult of situations.

There’s your clinical assessment of faith. Now. How can having faith be worked out in real-life terms?

I’ll admit that I woke up this morning and took a look at one of my aggregate news sites before getting in any Jesus time. That little exercise might have just skewed my whole day. Instead of basking in the love of Jesus, I saw – as if I didn’t know – just how awful this temporal world is. 

I thought that after we emerged from the death shroud of COVID, things would be better. Silly me. It’s still bad out there.

Faith, as Hebrews stated, is all about things we don’t see – the “not yet.” That encourages me, because I’m not too enthralled with the “right now.”

Faith involves trusting in God’s plan, and that requires that we surrender our own will and desires to Him. It means acknowledging that we may not always understand why things happen, but we trust that God has a purpose and a plan that is greater than our own.

God has a universal plan for all of creation. That’s good, but what lights my fire today is knowing that He has an individual, customized plan just for me.

But that “surrender” thing. That’s what trips me up. It’s because I can look at the world, internalize what I see, and end up a gibbering wreck. To what end?

Compound that with a loss of faith in other people. Look. I know folks will let you down and disappoint you. That reality doesn’t take the edge off the hurt, though. There are people I love, respect, and who walk with Jesus. Yet, in the last two or three years, their words and actions would lead me to believe that they’ve looked at their circumstances, evaluated the state of the world, and then factored God totally out of the essence of their lives. They speak as though things are hopeless, that people are beyond redemption, and then comfort themselves by lashing out at others. 

I don’t unfriend those people, but sometimes I want to avoid them. I’m not one to hang out frequently with folks who bleed my spirit dry. Just being honest, here.

Back to surrender: It occurs to me that what I’m speaking of above has a lot to do with me looking at temporal things and people, and then not letting God have all of me. I hold on to what I can see, which is turning out to be a moronic strategy. It’s not working for me. My faith has to be in what I can’t see.

This level of surrender and trust can be difficult, especially when we are faced with challenges that seem insurmountable. But it is precisely in these moments that our faith can be the most powerful.

I’m finding some grace from God by revisiting some familiar scriptures.

God can use even the difficult things in our lives for His glory and our ultimate good. For example, in the story of Joseph in Genesis, Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers and spent years in prison, but God used those difficult circumstances to elevate Joseph to a position of power in Egypt and ultimately save his family from famine.

When we trust in God’s plan, we can find hope even in the darkest of situations. In the book of Job, Job faced unimaginable loss and suffering, but even in the midst of his pain, he declared, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” (Job 13:15). Job’s faith in God did not prevent him from experiencing pain, but it did give him the strength to persevere and ultimately be restored.

Trusting in God’s plan also requires patience. We may not always see immediate results or understand why certain things are happening, but we can trust that God is working behind the scenes. Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

One of the most powerful examples of faith in action is found in the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the book of Daniel. These three men refused to bow down to a golden statue and were thrown into a fiery furnace as a result. But even in the midst of the flames, they declared, “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not (emphasis mine), be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up” (Daniel 3:17-18). Their faith in God’s ability to save them did not waiver, but even if He did not, they still trusted in His plan.

Let me give you eight bullets, some nuggets you can take away. These are simple and self-evident, but maybe basics are what we need:

1. Pray: Start by talking to God and sharing your feelings and concerns with Him. Ask Him for guidance and strength to trust in His plan, even when it’s difficult.
2. Study the Bible: Spend time reading and meditating on God’s word. Look for scriptures that speak to your situation and remind you of God’s faithfulness and promises.
3. Surrender: Surrender your will and desires to God. Acknowledge that His plan may be different from yours, but trust that His plan is perfect and good.
4. Practice Patience: Recognize that God’s timing may not be the same as yours. Practice patience and trust that He is working behind the scenes, even when you don’t see immediate results.
5. Look for the good: Look for the good in every situation, even when it’s difficult. Ask God to show you His purpose and plan, even in the midst of pain and suffering.
6. Connect with others: Connect with others who share your faith and can offer encouragement and support. Share your journey and ask for prayers.
7. Keep a gratitude journal: Write down things you are thankful for each day, no matter how small. Focusing on the positive can help shift your perspective and restore your hope.
8. Serve others: Look for opportunities to serve others and make a positive impact in their lives. Serving others can help you shift your focus from your own problems and remind you of the power of God’s love.

Trusting in God’s plan is a journey and may not happen overnight. But with consistent effort and practice, you can learn to trust in God’s plan and restore your hope in even the most difficult of situations.

Talk later.

Procrastination. I’m so good at it I could teach it on the graduate level.

I’ve tended to blow procrastination off as just a “thing,” a tendency that isn’t exactly laziness but just a desire to put things off. Never put off anything until tomorrow unless you can put it off till next week, right?

Yet, in a couple of life areas and ambitions these days, procrastination is hurting me. For real. So, I thought I’d do some digging around, and lo and behold, I’ve found that there are some Christian principles that can help you and me deal with this sneaky scourge. 

If you’re a procrastinator, see if this helps. 

Procrastination is a common struggle that affects individuals from all walks of life. As Christians, we are not immune to this challenge. However, we have the advantage of Christian teachings and principles to guide us in overcoming procrastination.So, then, we will explore the reasons behind procrastination, and how we can use our faith and Christian values to overcome it.

To get us on the same page, here’s my definition of procrastination:

Procrastination occurs when we put off tasks or delay taking action, often in favor of less important or more enjoyable activities. This behavior can be rooted in fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, or a lack of motivation. Whatever the cause, procrastination can hinder our growth, both personally and spiritually.

I’ve succumbed to all four of those root causes at some point or another. Yeah, I’m pathetic.

What to do about procrastination? Here are my eight thoughts:

1 – Recognize the Spiritual Implications of Procrastination

Procrastination can often stem from fear, self-doubt, perfectionism, or a lack of motivation. I mentioned those earlier. It is essential to recognize that these feelings can be detrimental to our spiritual growth. Ephesians 5:15-16 reminds us to “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil.” By addressing the spiritual aspects of procrastination, we can begin to understand the importance of using our time wisely and for God’s glory. Funny to think about how procrastination might be hindering what God wants to do in and through you.

2 – Trust in God’s Strength

One reason for procrastination may be the fear of failure or the belief that we are not capable of completing the task at hand. I never thought of a fear of failure being a contributing factor, but it sure can be.  As Christians, we can overcome this fear by putting our trust in God and relying on His strength to help us accomplish our goals. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (What a verse … it can address most anything!) By leaning on God’s strength, we can overcome our self-doubt and push forward with confidence. 

3 – Pray For Guidance and Strength

Is procrastination, at its heart, a spiritual matter? I think it is.

As we strive to overcome procrastination, prayer is a vital tool to help us focus on God’s will and seek His guidance in our lives. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to “not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” By consistently turning to God in prayer, we can find the strength and wisdom needed to tackle our tasks and live purpose-driven lives.

4 – Seek God’s Wisdom

In this season, I’m all into this wisdom thing. I’m not talking about just being smart, or even making good decisions. I’m talking about being wise and making wise decisions.

Procrastination can sometimes stem from a lack of direction or understanding of our purpose. To combat this, we should turn to God for wisdom and guidance. Proverbs 3:5-6 – a favorite for many of us – encourages us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” By seeking God’s guidance, we can gain clarity and direction in our lives, reducing the temptation to procrastinate.

5 – Develop a Sense of Purpose

How many times do we have to hear “you were put here for a reason” before it actually sinks in and becomes a reality?

Understanding our purpose as Christians can provide us with the motivation to prioritize our time and energy effectively. Reflect on the unique gifts and talents that God has given you, and consider how you can use them to serve others and glorify God. Colossians 3:23-24 reminds us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.”

6 – Set Realistic Goals and Break Tasks into Manageable Steps

Procrastination can just melt away when I put goals in writing, and tease them out into steps I can measure.

There are beaucoup tools that help me move the needle. Zig Ziglar has been a tremendous help. And the Self Journal by Best Self Co. is my go-to. Once I settled in and actually used these resources, things really changed for me. 

To combat procrastination, it is crucial to set realistic goals and develop a plan to achieve them. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps to reduce feelings of overwhelm and make progress more achievable. Proverbs 21:5 states, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.” By planning and setting achievable goals, we can work diligently and use our time wisely.

7 – Practice Self-Discipline

Procrastination and the “D” word. I can’t get around it. Discipline has to be part of the plan. Sorry. 

Self-discipline is a virtue that Christians are encouraged to develop, as it helps us remain focused on our spiritual growth and resist worldly temptations. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 highlights the importance of self-discipline, likening the Christian life to a race that requires dedication and perseverance. To overcome procrastination, we must develop self-discipline by setting realistic goals, creating a schedule, and holding ourselves accountable.

Seeking accountability from fellow believers, such as friends or family members, can encourage us to stay on track and fulfill our responsibilities. You’ll just have to figure out what that looks like for you.

8 – Embrace the Power of Grace

Finally, it is important to remember that we will not always be perfect in our efforts to overcome procrastination. In these moments, we must rely on God’s grace and forgiveness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 reassures us, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I beat myself up so often that I should cover myself in bubble wrap. Grace, y’all. If you’re weak, in procrastination or in other areas, it’s okay. God wants to do the heavy lifting, and if you’ll let Him, you’ll have one powerful testimony.

Overcoming procrastination is an ongoing process that requires intentionality, self-reflection, and reliance on God’s guidance. You won’t ever be completely free of this burden, but you can manage it.

Hope this encourages you. Be well!

 Disappointment. Show of hands – who enjoys being disappointed?

I don’t see any. I’m appalled. I thought everyone likes being disappointed and let down.

This, of course, is a poking the bear kind of question, and if you’ve read my stuff for any length of time, you know I have an agenda.

Disappointment is absolutely part of the whole package of life we have. Things are not going to go your way all the time, or even most of the time.

You’ve been let down by someone. Circumstances have smothered you. And, most assuredly, you’ve been disappointed in yourself because you were an idiot.

Fret not, reader. Let’s talk about recovering from disappointment. Disappointment doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Here are six thoughts about recovering from disappointment, in no particular order. I rather like these:

1 – Acknowledge your feelings.

Don’t pretend like everything is okay. It isn’t. You are disappointed. I’ll let you curate your own list of things that disappoint you; this thought applies to all of them.

You’re hurt, mad, confused, and bummed-out. I don’t intend to give you license to drag others into your little cesspool. Spare them. Talk about how you’re feeling with someone you trust and can show some empathy (as opposed to showing pity.) More on that later. 

The point: you are a hurtin’ puppy. Admit that to yourself. You are not some sort of wimp because you are feeling bad. 

You have to – appropriately! – allow yourself to feel and express the emotions that come with disappointment. That might include sadness, frustration, and flat-out anger. Be good with that.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  – Isaiah 41:10

2 – Practice self-care.

Our culture talks a lot about mindfulness. That’s good; it is entirely appropriate to stay in touch with yourself, and take steps to fix things when you’re all out of whack. Chances are you know what to do to take care of yourself. The sticking point is actually taking the steps to do that, even if it’s not a pleasant task.

Dealing with disappointment means taking care of your emotional and physical well-being. Get enough sleep. Eat right, whatever that looks like to you. Do something mindless and fun, as long as you don’t get hurt or hurt someone else. 

If you’re a believer, then self-care means letting God have His healing way with you.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18

3 – Reframe the situation.

This is so basic it’s profound. Rather than focusing on what’s wrong, consider what you can learn from the experience and what positive aspects you can take from it. 

If you’re disappointed, there has to be a reason for it. So – isolate the event, mindset, or situation, glean what you can from it, and move on. 

It comes down to looking at the situation from a different perspective. I promise there is something good to come from it, even if it’s “I’ll never do that again!”

Of course, if you go back and do “that” again, then you’re missing a big point. Plus, you’ve learned you aren’t very bright and need to make some changes. You can change, y’know. God is in the business of changing hearts, lives, and even minds. If you feel trapped and are beating yourself up, God wants to intervene. He understands that, in the flesh, you are floundering. 

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. – Romans 5:3-5

4 – Set realistic expectations.

It’s important to have realistic expectations for the future to avoid disappointment.

Life is a one-day-at-a-time proposition. This is not a license to avoid planning and setting goals. I am one of the most obsessive goal setters you’ll ever meet. I’ll plan my day in advance, typically the night before. I block out time for specific tasks.  My paper planner is my external brain; the internal one is subject to fog and forgetfulness. Maybe I’m a little OC. Or a lot.

Anyway, the point is to set achievable goals and understand that setbacks are a normal part of life.

You are going to blow it occasionally, often in spectacular fashion. That’s okay. Keep your expectations for the future where they need to be. You won’t lose 20 pounds in a week no matter how disciplined your diet is. 

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:13

5 – Seek support.

You don’t have to face disappointment alone. Unless you’re a  total hermit who’s withdrawn from society, there is someone – perhaps multiple someones – that can help you process what you’re feeling. Talking to an empathetic friend or family member can be transformative. And don’t forget about a pastor or other trusted Christian.

Or, if you don’t have any friends or family, how about a mental health professional? Actually, that might be a better choice than a family member or friend, because a professional won’t pity you. Being pitied is not what you want if you’re dealing with disappointment.

You’re looking for a fresh perspective. Help is available. Repeat after me: “There is no shame in asking for help.” This isn’t the 80’s. It is totally acceptable to recognize you’re a hot mess and need a little propping up.

It’s hard for some people to admit they need help. If that’s you, in love … don’t be that person.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of  many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. – James 1:2-4

6 – Focus on what you can control.

Think (but don’t overthink) this: There is precious little in this world you can control. There is so much you can’t change. There’s nothing you can do, for example, about Chinese spy balloons. Don’t dwell on things like that. It’ll make you crazy. I’d wager there isn’t much you can do about the stock market. I’d even go as far as to say that if you have a critically ill loved one, that’s out of your hands, too. 

Of course you pray, and pray earnestly. That’s not what I’m talking about.

Rather, I’m advocating focusing your energy on what you can control. The primary focus of what you can control is you. You control you. You are in charge of your actions, attitudes, and words. 

I can’t overemphasize this, and it was late in life before I internalized it: You have the power to choose, which means that you have the power to change. 

Be patient and kind to yourself. Focus on the steps you can take to move forward. Do not get yourself in a place that convinces you that you’re stuck the way you are. You are not. 

I’m not a motivational speaker. But I am telling you – you are going to be disappointed in yourself more than you are with other people. Recovering from disappointment? Start with you. You have extraordinary God-given power to move on. Lean on Him.  

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

If you’re going to embrace self-pity, you might as well embrace misery.

It’s a funny thing. Some people simply seem to enjoy feeling bad for themselves. Respectfully, if that’s true of you, I have a simple question: How has self-pity helped you improve your life?

I get it. I do. This is one of those therapeutic blogs I need to write to myself from time to time.

Part of my self-pity grows from a Christian worldview. Huh?

In full disclosure … when I’m in a funk, and struggling with post-concussion syndrome, a migraine, or just low, self-pity rears its ugly head. It’s like getting thrown into a well, looking up at that little circle of daylight, and wondering how I’m going to get out.

Self-pity can make you feel like a failure at everything. Not good.

So, as a Christian, there shouldn’t be any room for self-pity. Problem is, it’s my faith (or lack of it) that moves me in that direction.

What an awful irony. The more intimate I become with God, the more aware I am of just how sinful I am. I realize that I am selfish, self-centered, and just what a lowlife I can be.

I struggle around my peers who seem to be sailing along in their Christian walk. That pity I have is because I haven’t reached that glorious place of a bulletproof Christian life. My head knows that everyone struggles; my heart says I shouldn’t be struggling like I am.

I’d love to feel like I’m awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way. That’s shallow, but I’d love to have folks believe I’ve got it together 24/7/365. I am aware that folks aren’t that easily suckered, but, hey, you gotta have aspirations, right?

It might be that, like me (God forbid), this self-pity thing is camped out on your back porch, ready to pounce when you leave the house. You may be feeling pretty awful about your sin and haven’t been as repententant as you should be. You want to be better for God, but it all comes back to you and how you’re feeling. There’s something out there that can move you out of self-pity, but it’s elusive, and just out of reach.

What’s a believer to do about self-pity?

As always, the Bible speaks. Check out this ancient script – it’s 2 Corinthians 10:3-6:

³ For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. ⁴ The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. ⁶ And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

Paul wants us to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. In the context of self-pity, that means that any self-pitying thoughts are of us and not of Him. He doesn’t see us as low-life bottom feeders. He thinks we’re pretty wonderful. The key is to see ourselves as He sees us, right?

Here’s good stuff, from 1 Corinthians 1:26-31:

²⁶ Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸ God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, ²⁹ so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰ It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹ Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

This is some powerful ju-ju here. What’s crazy about it is that God encourages low self-esteem.

Look at that. We are not wise, not influential, not nobly born, we are weak, we are despised. That might be what we want to beat ourselves up about – those are traits of a loser, right? – but God turns that idea on its head.

The kicker is that God doesn’t want us to have a higher self-esteem, but instead a higher God-esteem. The focus is on Him, not us. You aren’t amazing, He is. You aren’t flawless; He is. You’re weak. He is strong.

We tend to obsess about ourselves, which is normal, because we spend a lot of time with ourselves. The thought is to put that self-pity aside because it simply doesn’t accomplish anything. That comes from a shift in focus – less of me, more of Him.

I love this. When it comes to self pity, the truth is that we can and should be mindful of our salvation every day. Every time you blow it, every time you don’t measure up to your self-imposed standards, God comes alongside us and says, “C’mon, pal. Once more, you need to be reminded that it’s not about you. I am present and active in your life. I’m not buying this self-pity stuff. You don’t have to feel that way, because I’ve given you all of grace. I saved you. You didn’t do anything to earn it, and you sure don’t deserve it. I’ve done this because I love you. Why self-pity? I’m all you need.”

Maybe you are the worst of sinners. But quit whining. You may not be all that in and of yourself, but you can celebrate God, Who came to you, undeserving sinner that you are, and adopted you into His family.

You don’t have to drown in self-pity and think only of yourself. God thinks about you all the time.

Talk later!

It seems that some “life rules” for this new year might be in order.

There’s nothing magical about these*, but they seem pretty appropriate. Fact is, they’re good life rules for any year.

Here ya go. Seven life rules, with some ruminations from me.

1 – Make peace with your past.

We all have those incidents from our past that tend to linger in our life’s rear-view mirror. That’s understandable. But what you want to be wary of is letting those past things, whatever they are, not disturb your present.

We don’t get do-overs. What’s done is done. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along. It’s called the past for a reason. Glean what you can, but don’t camp there. Don’t let them confound your present.

2 – What other people think of you is none of your business.

Here’s a tough life rule for you, perhaps. There is absolutely zero you can do about what people think. Honestly, what difference does it make? You be you. Be authentic. To the extent you can internalize this one, the more freedom you have. Chances are you can’t change someone’s mind about you, so don’t bother trying. Leave it alone. Again, just be real. Don’t let others put snakes in your head.

3 – Time heals almost everything.

This particular life rule has a little disclaimer – “almost.” Time is a healer, but it’s not the end-all. Hurts can leave scars even after healing takes place. I get that. You don’t want to live with perpetual regret or pain, obviously.

In essence, the counsel of this life rule is “give it time.” Some things just don’t lend themselves to quick fixes. Time is relative – years? Decades? A week? Who knows. It depends. (Is this vague enough for you?)

I’ll stand by this one. Whatever is out of whack with you, give it time.

4 – No one is is charge of your happiness.

Except you.

Think someone or something outside of yourself is supposed to make you happy? Nope. Life’s not like that, and the life rule is that you are responsible. There’s a prevalent entitlement mindset in our society these days we need to shuck.

This is not the same as God-given joy. He does give joy. What I’m talking about is the notion that the world exists to give you pleasure. Alert: the world doesn’t owe you anything, at least not happiness. There is the idea of “the pursuit of happiness,” and that’s actually pretty legit. There is nothing wrong with finding some fun out there and enjoying it.

Pursuit is the key word in this famous historical phrase, because it implies that you go looking for it. It doesn’t automatically come to you.

I’d hasten to say this isn’t a license for hedonism. You are in charge of your appropriate happiness. I’ll let it go at that.

5 – Don’t compare your life to others.

That, and don’t judge them either. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

This particular life rule has a couple of components that are complementary. I suppose we’ve all done this – looked at someone with envy because they seem to be getting all the breaks. They’re sharper than you, better looking, healthier, all that. Even when you go beyond surface appearances, they still seem to have it all together.

I hate to feel like that. Because they are unique, you and I are unique, and because of that there doesn’t even need to be any comparison. You be you, in other words, and I’ll be me, and I will believe the ancient script that states that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.

And that judging thing? Have mercy. I’ll talk to someone, or read something they’ve posted on social media, and I wonder: Did your mama drop you on your head as an infant?

Because … what I’m hearing is so patently absurd and devoid of reason or critical thinking that I want to say, “Maybe your ignorance doesn’t need to be on such blatant display.”

I’ll hold my comments about the worst of the conspiracy theories.

The thing is that folks have a reason to believe what they believe. Who am I to judge? I don’t know their stories. Theirs are no less valid than mine. What I see is just a screen capture of one tiny part of their life journey. How could I devalue that?

6 – Stop thinking so much.

There is a divine element to this life rule. It is okay to not have all the answers. You wouldn’t handle omnipotence very well. None of us would. And “why?” is a perfectly acceptable question, as long as you don’t think you’re owed a satisfactory answer.

The good news is that when you need an answer, God may very well reveal it to you when you least expect it. Or not; He can certainly keep His own counsel, and He does. Frequently.

It may sound simplistic to say “just go with it,” but you can turn yourself into a jabbering, drooling, maniacal mess when you try to figure everything out. Some things you won’t ever understand. Some things you will someday.

In the flesh, I say to myself, “quit spending so much time in your own head.” In reality, though, my default thought is “Tony, you are so messed up.” I suppose I’ll be working on #6 all my life. Sheesh. It’s still a good life rule, though.

7 – Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.

Oh, y’all. Please embrace this last life rule.

I’ve advocated here in my blog, and other places, to take periodic news fasts. There is a case to be made for being informed, but I’d really encourage you not to dwell on the things you can’t do anything about.

Many people I know and love are so anxious, even depressed, because of the state of the world. Certainly we need to be diligent in prayer for the needs all around us.

Inherent in that, though, has to come a heartfelt acknowledgement that God’s got this. The problems are His to deal with. And God has no problems, right? He is not trying to figure things out. So, if He’s doing all that heavy lifting, He certainly doesn’t need your help. He owns it all. Not you.

That, beloved, should make you smile. You better listen to your Uncle Tony – you don’t own the world’s grief. You can’t fix everything. Fact is, there’s not a whole lot you can fix, except things like a burned-out light bulb. You can’t fix other people. For the most part, you can’t fix yourself.

Again, smile. Here’s why:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

There’s your life rules. Be well. Talk later!

*These seven aren’t necessarily original with me. I’ll have to credit our old friend “author unknown.” I’ve just fleshed them out a little.

Sometimes I run across something that is so meaningful, so provocative, and so timely that I simply stand back in awe.

What I’m sharing today is by way of Trevin Wax – one of the most first-class intellects I’ve ever experienced, and who is a joy to be around.

I was in a meeting with him a couple of years ago, and he shared with us some musings from Clyde S. Kilby.  I wasn’t familiar with this gentleman, but I’ve since learned that he was an American writer and English professor, best known for his scholarship on the Inklings, especially J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis. Kilby was born in Johnson City, Tennessee, and died in Columbus, Mississippi. That makes him one of my people.

If you know much about me, you’ll understand that this got my attention real quick.

Kilby wrote ten resolutions for mental and spiritual flourishing. I wish I had a fraction of his insight and writing ability.

I’m pleased to share them with you. Be challenged, and be blessed! It’s far better than anything I could have done on my own today.

1. At least once every day I shall look steadily up at the sky and remember that I, a consciousness with a conscience, am on a planet traveling in space with wonderfully mysterious things above and about me.

2. Instead of the accustomed idea of a mindless and endless evolutionary change to which we can neither add nor subtract, I shall suppose the universe guided by an Intelligence which, as Aristotle said of Greek drama, requires a beginning, a middle, and an end. I think this will save me from the cynicism expressed by Bertrand Russell before his death when he said: “There is darkness without, and when I die there will be darkness within. There is no splendor, no vastness anywhere, only triviality for a moment, and then nothing.”

3. I shall not fall into the falsehood that this day, or any day, is merely another ambiguous and plodding twenty-four hours, but rather a unique event, filled, if I so wish, with worthy potentialities. I shall not be fool enough to suppose that trouble and pain are wholly evil parentheses in my existence, but just as likely ladders to be climbed toward moral and spiritual manhood.

4. I shall not turn my life into a thin, straight line which prefers abstractions to reality. I shall know what I am doing when I abstract, which of course I shall often have to do.

5. I shall not demean my own uniqueness by envy of others. I shall stop boring into myself to discover what psychological or social categories I might belong to. Mostly I shall simply forget about myself and do my work.

6. I shall open my eyes and ears. Once every day I shall simply stare at a tree, a flower, a cloud, or a person. I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are but simply be glad that they are. I shall joyfully allow them the mystery of what Lewis calls their “divine, magical, terrifying and ecstatic” existence.

7. I shall sometimes look back at the freshness of vision I had in childhood and try, at least for a little while, to be, in the words of Lewis Carroll, the “child of the pure unclouded brow, and dreaming eyes of wonder.”

8. I shall follow Darwin’s advice and turn frequently to imaginative things such as good literature and good music, preferably, as Lewis suggests, an old book and timeless music.

9. I shall not allow the devilish onrush of this century to usurp all my energies but will instead, as Charles Williams suggested, “fulfill the moment as the moment.” I shall try to live well just now because the only time that exists is now.

10. Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on the assumption that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord, but that today, this very day, some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect who calls himself Alpha and Omega.

Talk soon. Comments welcome!

Thankfulness is what Thanksgiving is all about, right?

And yet, when thinking about thankfulness, I’m seeing that we have to live with a certain amount of tension, of what are apparently conflicting thoughts.

Thankfulness is an attitude we should grasp and hold onto. Countering that, though, is the pervasive presence of evil. How do we reconcile that?

Here’s some ancient script, from Ephesians 5:15 – 20a.

¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. ¹⁸ Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Good ol’ Paul nails it again. When talking about thankfulness, he isn’t naive. He knows that he (and we) live in a pretty awful world.

He said “Christ gave himself for our sins to deliver us from this present age” (Galatians 1:4). In one of the great mysteries of God, He has given Satan a lot of leeway to do his evil, to the extent of him being called “the god of this age” (2 Corinthians 4:4). Why does God have Satan on a leash, and yet give him some freedom to do his wickedness?

Beats me. But when talking about thankfulness, I am thankful that we do have a choice in who we follow. Maybe that has something to do with free will.

Fact is, God is allowing wickedness and sin in the human heart to go wild, at least for now. You might want to argue that, and some of a more cynical bent might say, “Well, He’s not that much of a God if He doesn’t have any more power to restrain than that.”

This age is evil because there is so much suffering and catastrophes in this world, and it affects good folks and bad folks alike. I don’t get it either, but I do trust in God, Who has a much broader vantage point than I do.  That’s some reason for thankfulness right there.

If Paul embraced thankfulness – and he did – it came from some firsthand experiences.

He dealt with his own sin. Romans 7 – check it out.

He was stoned, beaten, thrown in prison, shipwrecked, snakebit, and went without food, clothes and shelter. He never knew when someone might flat-out kill him. His walk with God wasn’t exactly the proverbial bed of roses.

Still, Paul knew how to experience thankfulness, because he was able to see to some extent what God was up to with him. Christ told Paul that His power was made perfect in his weakness, and dang, do I ever take comfort in that!

Verse 20 is one of those verses that God slips in the Bible when I’m not looking. I read this earlier and said, “Whaaa…?”

Paul is telling us to do something quite extraordinary: Be thankful for everything. It does not say be thankful in everything. See the difference?

Thankfulness doesn’t, then, grow from a sense of knowing God is going to use circumstances to make us better. He does that, sure. But He says something really, really challenging – be thankful for everything. Everything. Ev-ree-thing.

I don’t think that means we should lead cheers at the graveside of our grandmother. God isn’t saying that we shouldn’t cry if our child has cancer. He doesn’t say we can’t be angry about sin, injustice, poverty, or anything else like that.

It’s complicated, this thankfulness thing. God said it, and I’m just sharing.

I’m trying to be helpful here without diving too deep into theology I can’t grasp. Here’s what I do know, though:

• When the angel appeared to Mary to tell her she’d have a son without a husband, he only told her what she needed to know – “The Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you … with God nothing will be impossible.” That’s a good word for us.
• Verse 18 talks about an exchange – don’t get drunk, but be filled with the Spirit. That may be the key, right there – swapping out worldly things and thoughts for the power of the Spirit that lives in us.
• That Spirit? He searches everything. He wants us to experience thankfulness. Trusting Him for that means that we can accept His total control over us and all creation. He can take the evils of this world and make them work for our eternal good. That doesn’t mean that life here won’t be hard. There is, though, that eternal promise, and we should remember – again – that we are pilgrims and sojourners here, and this world isn’t our home.

God wants to teach us that lesson, and it isn’t easy, now is it? I’m still wrestling with it.

Here’s where my thankfulness has landed: The days are evil, but I can give thanks always to God the Father. He’s up to something – lots of somethings. He is wise and sovereign and good.

Once I grasp that, thankfulness comes easily.

Be well. Let me hear from you.

I was called an idiot in the ninth grade by a man I had tons of respect for.

Today I would be known as a “band geek.” Back then, if it wasn’t band or church youth group stuff, I didn’t have a whole lot to do with it.

At Elba High School – home of the Marching Tigers! – band was actually considered cool. On Friday nights during football season, virtually the whole population of Elba, Alabama, could be found at the stadium. We were blessed with both a fine football team and band – champions all.

My band director back then was Bill Hickman. I swear, I would’ve taken a bullet for that man. He was a fine musician and master motivator. I had crazy respect for him. He seldom raised his voice – he just had that undefinable way of coaxing the best out of us.

We all loved marching season. Concert season, not so much. To transition from Friday nights under the lights to practice in the bandroom for concerts was tough.

I just enjoyed playing my horn (trombone, FYI). Note that I wasn’t great, or even all that good. Maybe I could have been if I’d practiced like I should’ve.

Still, I was competent enough. And, I wanted to please Mr. Hickman.

One afternoon we were rehearsing for our upcoming Christmas concert. We were practicing a sweet chorale arrangement of “Silent Night.” It was one of those occasions when the music flowed like soft waters. You could look at Mr. Hickman as he was conducting and tell that he was enraptured by the sounds he drew from us.

Until I screwed up.

In a moment of silence in between bars, when the whole arrangement called for a rest, I held over into that moment, dragging whatever note I was playing a beat too long. I was the only one playing my instrument … in a moment when I shouldn’t have been.  It was as obvious as if I’d set off a cherry bomb.

Without missing a beat, and while still conducting, Mr. Hickman looked at me and said “idiot.” It came out like this: ID-eee-ot. He continued on, looking back at his score.

No big deal, right? For some reason, though, that little three-second incident is as fresh in my mind as if it’d happened yesterday. Of course, I’m over whatever wound I received, but I still remember it. (Maybe I’m not completely over it or I wouldn’t be bringing it up.)

What’s your “idiot” moment? Can you think of a time when you screwed up and beat yourself senseless because of your failure? Of course you can.

So. How does one move on past failure – specifically, how can you not be so hard on yourself?

• Rather than be so self-critical, admit you blew it. Call it out. Writing it down might help get it out of your head and get it on paper so you can deal more effectively with it.
• Acknowledge that, in that moment, you were weak. Not helpless.
• Focus on the excellence that you DO have. Again, write this down (I’m the king of journaling. It simply works.) If you don’t think you aren’t excellent at anything, I’m here to tell you you’re so, so wrong. You are unique, one of a kind, which means you bring something to the world’s table that no one else has. You aren’t an idiot, at least most of the time.
• Remember no one of any consequence loves you any less because you fell short.
• Ask yourself: “What in my life is causing me to focus on what I think is wrong with me instead of what is right?” One awful byproduct of living in our broken world is that we gravitate toward the negative. Guess what: You are blessed. Say that aloud: “I am blessed.” Because, dang it, you ARE, and don’t let anyone or anything tell you differently.
• Etch this in mental stone: “You are what you think about.”
• Etch this in mental stone: “You are what you think about.” (I just wanted that to be clear.)
• I say this all the time, because it’s true: “Failure is an event, not a person.”
• Here’s the ringer. You can have hope. You aren’t an idiot. Because …
• “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” That’s some ancient script from Philippians 4:8, and that’s a good word no matter what your beliefs. Because – drum roll – you are what you think about.

Hope this encouraged you. And I don’t think Mr. Hickman really thought I was an idiot. Well … maybe for one beat or so. I’m sure he never gave it another thought. Nor should I.

“Why me?” Have you ever asked that?

I have, and I’ll bet you have too. I don’t think it’s because any of us feel entitled, but it is a natural response when things are piling up on us.

Why me? It’s a hard question. I’ve prayed plenty of prayers that started out with “Why…?”

Several years ago I was serving a church in Florida. In a sister church in town, a young couple were in a car accident. The husband had a significant brain injury and was in a coma. His wife died on the scene. So when this man came out of the coma, he awoke to learn that he was a widower with two preschool children.

That seems horrifically unfair. His statement was simple, according to the youth minister at the church: “Why me?”

That’s a basic, primal question.

You may think about this story and think, “That’s not all that bad compared to what I’ve faced in my life.” Perhaps. It’s hard to be objective when you’re the one that’s hurting. We do tend to judge our troubles on a scale when comparing ourselves to others.

Here’s the fact, though: In this life, you’re going to have challenges and pain. It comes with having a pulse. Your reponse might be to ask, “Why me?”

I’d encourage you not to feel bad about asking that. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or unspiritual. It just means you want answers.

Here’s a scriptural reality check:

• Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward.  – Job 5:7
• Anyone born of woman is short of days and full of trouble. – Job 14:1
• For all his days are filled with grief, and his occupation is sorrowful; even at night, his mind does not rest. This too is futile. – Ecclesiastes 2:23
• Why did I come out of the womb to see only struggle and sorrow, to end my life in shame? – Jeremiah 20:18

I could go on, but I don’t need to. These are honest statements that could easily lead to a “why me?”

There is a companion thought, and this won’t win me any popularity contests, especially here at Thanksgiving: “Why not me?”

If problems and heartbreak are part of the human condition, then “why not me?” is an equally valid question, even if it’s unpleasant to think about.

Whatever grief you’re facing, you aren’t unique. You aren’t singled out.

You may be familiar with my testimony: floods, surgeries, cancer, brain injury, murder, have all been part of my story. And this isn’t a plea for sympathy, or me using this platform to play on your emotions. My story is your story. We all have troubles. It’s universal, right?

I can  ask “Why not me?” knowing that I’m not special. I am not alone.

There isn’t any inherent comfort there. So I have to dig a little deeper. If I want to be truly thankful, there are a few more layers to peel back.

I’ve come to realize there is a natural progression for me. Maybe all of us, if we’d just take time to evaluate things.

I’m about to go all scriptural on you, because that’s all I have. It’s also all I need.

Check this out:

Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16 – 18.

There is an obvious truth in these verses. The command is not to be thankful for everything (how could you be thankful for the death of a child, for instance?), but rather to give thanks in everything. There is quite the difference.

It’s a matter of recognizing that we gratefully acknowledge God’s hand in all circumstances. Circumstances change, but God does not.

The challenge is for us to remain aware of God’s goodness regardless of what things seem to be on the surface.

I don’t have to tell you that’s not easy, especially when our emotions have gripped us and our feelings are all over the map.

Part of it is just realizing there is a lot going on around us that we’ll never be aware of. That’s where the “why me?” comes in. Maybe part of it simply means that we are to be open to God in all situations and recognize that not only is He aware of what we’re facing, but that He already knows the outcome.

We can, then, ask “why me” but we also understand He’s under no obligation to answer. I’m guessing that has something to do with faith and free will.

There’s a third step, then. Here’s the progression:

• Why me?
• Why not me?
• Why me?

That third “why me?” There are some sweet promises in that one.

Here’s a hypothetical:

Say a man loses his beloved wife. He asks, “Why me?”

Then he comes to realize that people lose loved ones. All the time. There is nothing unique in his loss, even as much as it hurts. He comes to be able to sincerely say “Why not me?”

As time goes on, he grows into acceptance that he wasn’t picked out of the crowd by the hand of a capricious God Who delights in inflicting pain. He realizes that death is part of living.

The result is that he is able to identify and empathize with others going through similar challenges. He’s able to touch lives that otherwise he never could have – it’s a matter of “been there, done that.” He realizes that things happen not only for his growth and maturity, but so that he can minister in God’s name to others.

The result? He realizes that he’s supernaturally blessed. Now he can say, “Why me?” He realizes that triumph has grown from tragedy, and he has a cause greater than himself. He can’t believe how fortunate he is to serve.

This is an idealized scenario, perhaps. “I could never be so accepting of my loss,” you say.

I don’t have an answer for you. You know yourself and your heart.

My point is simply we do have so, so much to be grateful for.

Why me, indeed:

• I woke up this morning in a warm bed.
• Breakfast was simple and good.
• My car started.
• Lunch was good, too.
• I have a job.

I could go on, and belabor the obvious, but we can all rightfully say “Why me? Why do I have so much and why am I so blessed? Why is there always hope? Why was I given another day here?”

It’s because you ain’t done here yet.

O be joyful.