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Any of you with green thumbs? If so, I am in awe of you. I routinely kill plants, even though they’ve done nothing to wrong me.

I do understand this, though – if you don’t water a plant, it isn’t going to do very well. It isn’t going to grow.

Maybe the alternative is to simply buy artificial plants. They can be very realistic. Really well-made ones are foolers.

One thing, however. You can water an artificial plant, and it won’t grow. You’ll just have a wet artificial plant.

Maybe that’s a parable of you.

You evaluate yourself, realize where you are emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and say to yourself, “Dang. Maybe I’m not authentic. Maybe I’m a fake. And nothing I can do can change that.” (Trying to fix yourself is the equivalent of watering an artificial plant – you won’t grow if you were artificial to begin with.)

This is an awful state, and one I’ve drifted in to personally from time to time. I mean, I recognize this huge gap between who I want to be and who I actually am. Then I get in a funk, don’t feel authentic, and feel of little value.

Consequently, I beat myself up. I don’t feel I have anything to contribute. I can’t encourage myself to do better. Lovely.

However (and thank goodness there is always a “however”), it doesn’t have to be that way. I keep returning to one of my favorite themes – change, and the world will change for you. Hopelessness is not an option, remember?

So, how do we go about changing? Does it take some supreme act of the will? Can it ever be easy?

Yes. And no. We have to decide what we want to be, do, and have. Then act. Right now.

I just saw you cringe. You’ve heard this all before.

• You’ve read a great self-help/self-improvement book, made notes, underlined key passages, and attempted to execute what you’ve learned.
• You attended a conference. You were pumped up. You worked to make what you’d learned a reality.
• You sought out a mentor or expert for advice, counsel, guidance, and inspiration. You committed to do what he or she said.

How’d that work out for you? Been there, done that? I just have to hark back to my premise … no matter how bad you want it (whatever it is), you still have to change. All the inspiration and knowledge in the world is just random brain-filler unless you act. But you knew that already.

Let me share with you four backwards ways of thinking. It should, at the least, help you move past the logjam you are currently in. It will for sure help you view yourself and your circumstances in a different way.

1. Be confused. It is actually healthy to be in a bewildered place. It can force you to ask the hard questions. Most of us don’t want to do much self-evaluation because it makes us uncomfortable. Face the truth about yourself? Not so fun, but essential. It’s a matter of being personally authentic. I’d contend that confusion leads to a search for clarity. Who wants to sit around in a fog, paralyzed because the way doesn’t seem clear? That confusion should spur you on to seeking answers. Go with that.
2. Be broken. How unpleasant is that? I haven’t done a lot of study into this so this may be pure speculation on my part, but the ideal end product of brokenness is restoration. Fact is, we live in a broken, fallen world. It is simply the nature of our day. The question isn’t “Will I ever be broken?” The better question is, “Since I’m broken (and hurting), what restoration of myself do I want?”
3. Be frustrated. That probably comes easy. This can be a spinoff of statement 1, “Be confused.” Once you get clarity on an issue, frustration can come because (a) you don’t know how to act based on what you’ve learned, (b) you know exactly what needs to be done, yet you’re paralyzed by a fear of failure (“What if I try this and it doesn’t work out?”), or (c) you know what to do, you know how to take action, yet no one else gets it. Ack.
4. Be sad. I mean, who sold us this idea that we’re to be happy all the time? With all due respect to our Founding Fathers here in the United States, the pursuit of happiness can be virtuous. Problem is, happiness is transient and based on the circumstance we find ourselves in. Remember that “to everything there is a season.” Which means – sadness, while unwelcome, is necessary to us being a complete person.

In short:

• Confusion is where we can be taught new things.
• Brokenness is where healing begins.
• Frustration is what leads us to make more authentic decisions.
• Sadness is where, if we’re brave enough, we can hear God’s wisdom through it.

Wherever you are right now, no more hiding. God’s got this. God’s got you.