Distinguishing Christian Love from Other Loves

Jan 03, 2025

Hey, y’all!

We’ve been talking a lot about love this month, and today we’re going to take a closer look at how Christian love—agape—differs from other forms of love. There are many types of love mentioned in Scripture, and each plays a unique role in our lives. From the selfless love God has for us to the deep affection we share with friends and family, each kind of love reflects different aspects of our human experience.

Let’s start with Romans 12:9, which challenges us to reflect on the purity and sincerity of Christian love:

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.”

This verse calls us to love authentically, as God loves us. But how does Christian love compare to other forms of love like romantic love (eros) or the love we have for our friends (philia)? Let’s unpack these distinctions and see how they influence our Christian community.

1. Christian Love (Agape) vs. Romantic Love (Eros)

Romantic love (eros) is often seen as a deep, passionate affection between two people. It’s rooted in attraction, desire, and a longing for connection. While eros can be beautiful and fulfilling, it’s often tied to emotions and circumstances. In contrast, Christian love—agape—is unconditional and sacrificial. It doesn’t depend on feelings or appearances; it’s a decision to love no matter the situation or how the other person behaves.

For example, agape doesn’t change when emotions shift or when disagreements arise. Christian love is consistent, always seeking the best for others, even when things are hard. As Romans 12:9 reminds us, agape is genuine and rooted in goodness, not temporary or self-serving emotions.

In a Christian community, this kind of love creates lasting bonds that go beyond mere attraction or fleeting emotions. It fosters relationships based on shared faith and mutual respect, not based on what we can gain from one another.

2. Christian Love (Agape) vs. Friendship Love (Philia)

Another type of love is philia, the love between friends. Philia is warm and affectionate, rooted in shared experiences, mutual respect, and emotional connection. It’s the kind of love we find in our closest friendships—when we laugh together, support each other, and grow alongside one another.

While philia is a beautiful and important aspect of our relationships, Christian love goes a step further. Agape love can exist within friendship, but it also transcends it. Christian love doesn’t only exist when things are going well or when we feel a deep connection. It’s an active choice to serve, sacrifice, and care for others, even when it’s inconvenient or difficult.

In Christian community, we’re called to love our friends and brothers and sisters in Christ with agape, not only in moments of fun and shared joy, but especially in times of struggle or conflict. Christian love is what holds us together when life gets tough, just as it does within the early church (Acts 2:44-47).

3. Christian Love vs. Self-Love (Philautia)

A third type of love we see in society is self-love—the love we have for ourselves. It’s not inherently bad to have a healthy sense of self-worth, but the kind of self-love celebrated in our culture often centers on personal gain, self-promotion, or gratification. In contrast, Christian love teaches us to love ourselves in the context of God’s love for us. Agape calls us to see ourselves through God’s eyes, understanding that we are loved, valued, and worthy of care, not because of our own merits, but because we are His children.

True Christian love transforms the way we view ourselves, teaching us humility and selflessness. It invites us to love others the way Christ loves us, putting their needs above our own and seeking the best for them, just as Christ laid down His life for us.

4. The Role of Christian Love in Building Christian Community

In Christian community, the different types of love we experience play vital roles, but agape love is the foundation that holds everything together. Whether in our marriages, friendships, or broader church family, Christian love is what makes our relationships stand out from the world.

When we love with agape, we mirror God’s love and create a welcoming, nurturing, and forgiving environment within our community. Christian community thrives on selflessness, compassion, and a desire to serve others without expecting anything in return. Agape love challenges us to love the unlovable, forgive the unforgivable, and offer grace without limit.

Living Out Christian Love in Community

Here are some ways we can actively live out Christian love in our relationships and Christian community:

Practice Sacrifice: Love isn’t about what we can get, but what we can give. Whether it’s time, energy, or resources, we choose to give generously to those around us.
Extend Forgiveness: Agape love doesn’t hold grudges. We forgive as God has forgiven us, fostering unity in our Christian community.
Seek the Good of Others: Instead of looking out for our own interests, we consider the needs and well-being of others, building stronger, Christ-centered relationships.

Challenge for Today: Reflect on your relationships and ask God to help you love with agape. Whether it’s in your marriage, friendships, or family, choose today to show love that’s sacrificial and unconditional. Let’s make this year about reflecting God’s love in every connection we have, strengthening the bonds within our Christian community.

Blessings to you all! See you tomorrow!

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