My grandmother had a phrase she used from time to time as she aged. She would speak of “the approaching Shade.”

There’s a certain poetry to that. The imagery of a sweet darkness enveloping us as we move from this world to the next is compelling.

I never got the sense that Mama Wilson wanted to pass. (Another old term is to be “translated.” Again, that sounds so much more elegiac than just “dying.”) It was just a matter of being ready.

Death is certain, unless Jesus returns first. Talking about death is sort of taboo. We tend to look on it as an intrusion, when in fact it is the reasonable and expected end of living.

Today’s blog is not a meditation on death. But I did want to use that reality as a backdrop to what I’d like to share.

”The approaching Shade.” How about this as a companion image … sunset.

Now we’re talking. Who of us has not been moved by the glory of the setting sun? When the sky is turned into a riot of color – oranges, yellows, reds … transitioning into powder golds and even purples. Lovely.

Sunsets occur with regularity. It’s a signal that now the day is over. And that’s proper and good.

But can sunset be a verb? Can “sunsetting” be an action taken rather than just a phenomena to be observed?

I think so.

Here’s what I mean. There have been plenty of times in my life when a season was over (yeah, I’m mixing metaphors. Stick with me.) When I graduated in 12th grade, I “sunsetted” my high school years. When Teresa and I got married, I “sunsetted” my single life. When I resigned from a church to move to a new place of service, I “sunsetted” my ministry.

So. Is there anything you need to sunset? Is there something in your life that needs to die? 

That might sound pleasant or unpleasant, depending on where you are and what this would mean to you individually.

Here’s where I’m coming from personally. This will be my annoying autobiographical pause, and then we’ll move on:

• I have ministered to teenagers vocationally for 40 years. This time span includes full-time church staff work, as well as part-time and interim. This also includes a stint with a parachurch ministry. This is nuts.
• This was/is a calling. I have never doubted for a nanosecond that work with students was what God intended for me to do. That was determined before I was even born. There is great security in that.
• At the same time, I know that God’s call is not static. If it pleases Him and brings honor to Him, He can move us in and out of places, engineer circumstances, and bring (and remove) people from our lives.
• Now, in these days, I have come to realize – based on prayer, scripture, circumstances, and the counsel of others – that my vocational work with students is over. In other words, I am “sunsetting” that aspect of my life and call, and I do that knowing God is at work clearly and definitively. Part of this has to do with my brain injury from last year. While I’m not incapacitated by a long shot, and I think some days that I’m showing some gradual improvement, I have to realistically acknowledge what I can do with excellence and be aware that some things don’t come as easily as they once did. Youth ministry is a challenge even on good days, and on those tougher days – holy cow. It can be utterly draining. Rewarding, for sure, but dang hard – physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, relationally, every way. (I’d be happy to serve you some cheese with that whine.)
• Since I’ve made that public, people have been gracious. I’m grateful. But that doesn’t mean that I need to be treated like an invalid. I got lots and lots of good stuff left in me.
• The white-knuckled excitement I’m feeling in these days has to do with knowing God is still at work, giving me new opportunities of ministry that He’s custom-designed for me in these sunset days. How cool is that?
• I still get to volunteer with youth. I’ll do that as long as there is breath in me. Some of my former students can come to the nursing home and feed me oatmeal.

Thus endeth the autobiographical pause.

So why did I share that? Simply because it might be true of you.

Back to my question. Is there anything in your life that needs sunsetting?

• Are you in a life stage in which you realize that some things that were once important to you are no longer as urgent? It may be that what have become trivial issues simply need to be set aside so you can focus on what’s really important.
• Do you have a vague sense of dissatisfaction with your life in general? Would it be beneficial for you to sit down with paper and pen and actually write out what’s bothering you? The act of getting thoughts out of your head and into tangible form on paper can be oh-so-helpful. I’m all about journaling. Based on what you discover, you may find that you have thoughts and feelings that need to be sunsetted.
• Is there someone in your life – a relationship – that needs to be sunsetted? Let’s be careful here. I’m not talking about just randomly slamming the door on someone just because you’re unhappy with them or something they’ve done. Redemption and forgiveness should be your default position. But – and I’ll be candid and tell you it’s taken me years to understand this – not loving someone is unacceptable and unchristlike. I do think it is perfectly proper, though, to separate yourself from someone who devalues your soul. Everyone in your life is there because God put them there; and in the same fashion, He can remove them. You are commanded to love everyone unconditionally. But sometimes you have to simply love the memory of them, perhaps yearn quietly for what once was, and move on. This is hard – I wish I could help you more with this one.
• Are there desires you need to sunset? I’ve historically had problems with my “wanter.” I like stuff. I like to have things. There have been times, though, when I let my desire for stuff override common sense. I’ll bet that, even now, you have everything you need and plenty of things you want. Can you be satisfied with that?
• Here’s a scary one. Do you need to sunset a cherished belief? I don’t mean abandoning your faith or anything as radical as that. But it may just be that you are more open than you once were to opposing viewpoints. This all has to do with having a teachable spirit. I have yet to meet anyone that I couldn’t learn something from – if nothing else, just having confirmed that what I believed was right in the first place. Still, you can learn an awful lot from those who don’t see the world the same way you do. Who knows? You may be wrong. Wouldn’t you like to know if you’re wrong so you can sunset your mistaken opinion? I think it’s so wonderful to be taught something by someone not even close to your own age, your gender, your upbringing, or your worldview.

I think you understand what I’m saying. Sunsets, by nature, are quiet, transitional events. It’s not like flipping a cosmic switch. It’s a slow fade, a gentle move from light to darkness, and … it’s beautiful.

This is about you taking a sincere look at yourself, being circumspect, and doing some earnest self-examination. Most people are afraid to do that.

I’d encourage it. We are all works in progress. Sometimes there are things in life that need to be led into the darkness. That shouldn’t be scary. If it makes you into something positive that you weren’t beforehand, this is a good thing.

It’s a natural progression, just like so much in creation. The light fades. The night descends. While it is night, it is natural to fear the dark.

Yet there is the promise, the guarantee of dawn. A new day comes filled with new possibilities and opportunities. Embrace that.

Don’t fight the sunset. It will come whether you like it or not. Fortunately (and here’s where the analogy breaks down), we do have some authority as to the timing and reality of some sunsets. Choose those wisely. Sunset what needs to be moved on from. It will go well with your soul. Quoting that great theologian, Scarlett O’Hara, “Tomorrow is another day.”