Here are seven ways to keep from beating someone up.
God has seen fit to bless me with a significant measure of patience. I can let most things that would give other people fits roll right over me.
Some might call that being a pushover. But this tendency has kept me from beating someone up, or at least wanting to.
I don’t enjoy arguments or confrontations. They say everyone has a breaking point. Mine comes when I’m faced with pure stupidity from someone else and they accuse me, or insinuate, that I’m the stupid one.
The term for this, I believe, is willful ignorance. When faced by facts – and I’m not talking opinions based on a YouTube video, for instance – folks absolutely lose whatever capacity they have for rational thinking.
I’m not sure of the dynamics behind this kind of behavior. Let me be clear – beating someone up might be my default desire, but on the other hand, I’m kind of a “live and let live” kinda guy. You are welcome to hold whatever opinions you wish, because you might be correct.
See, I cordially despise conflict. Maybe this is a character flaw, but I’ll take a long path around a fight. I don’t like it, and I’m not good at it. It makes me want to throw up in my mouth.
So instead of beating someone up, I think about alternatives.
It may be that you’re the kind of person who relishes a good argument. That’s fine, too. But it’s proper to determine if you’re being earnest and redemptive or being a real punk.
Rather than beating someone up, Jesus says that we’re to be peacemakers. Sermon on the mount, right? Jesus had a lot of good stuff in that message – blessing those who mourn, the poor in spirit, and so forth. Then it’s “blessed are the peacemakers.”
That implies that a fight is going on and it needs to be resolved. It’s being a peacemaker instead of beating someone up.
Conflict in our lives is inevitable. What are we to do to do the right thing?
Here’s my list of seven ways to avoid beating someone up.
- Go to God.
That should be self-evident, but in the heat of the moment He might get pushed to the side because we’re venting our spleens. Fact is, you can’t make peace in your own strength, at least not effectively. You can’t do it by yourself. People have tried for world peace for centuries, but our little planet has been prone to wars and rumors of wars. Can you say Russia and Ukraine? So the first move is to go to God and say, “Lord, I’m in deep weeds without You, because in the flesh I want to beat someone up.”
- Breathe in, breathe out.
Or count to ten. Do something to keep from going all Vesuvian on someone. It’s a pause to make sure your carnal impulses don’t get the best of you. The first thing coming to your mind might not be what you want to say.
- Watch your mouth.
This piggybacks on #2. No matter what the other person says,.you aren’t obligated to try to outdo them in meanness. There are some Fruits of the Spirit worth invoking here … try patience, gentleness, and self-control. As I’ve noted, those will NOT come naturally. God will need to supernaturally intervene.
- Don’t blame.
You know this already, but words like “you always” or “you never” don’t help matters. Don’t accuse. Speak in terms of calm, quiet, and love. It’ll freak the other person out, and that’s a good thing. It’s all done with an eye to restoring peace.
- Apologize.
I don’t know why this is such an agony for some people. But if you’re at fault – and there is a dang good chance you are – then say “I’m sorry” and mean it. Maybe the issue is the fleshly tendency to hate to admit you’re wrong, you screwed up, and you need to be fixed.
“Forgive” and “apologize” are siblings. Forgiveness might not be the easiest thing to do when you’re considering beating someone up, but it has to happen. Of course, you forgive because you are forgiven by God – if you’re a believer. There’s that; but consider what power forgiveness gives you. It absolutely clears the record. Don’t let this drag out. Forgive, and move on.
- Use the ministry of reconciliation.
Fact: Ultimate peace among people only happens when people have peace with God. When Jesus said, “blessed are the peacemakers,” He wasn’t just talking about peace between humans – He’s talking about peace with God, too. Part of our role as believers on earth is to reconcile others to God. It’s hard to reconcile someone to God when you’re thinking about beating someone up. Model Christ.
One caveat: Making peace doesn’t mean denying the truth. If a friend or acquaintance is saying something like “pigs can fly,” then it’d probably be wrong to say “you’re right,” just to make peace. (That’s a lame illustration, but you know what I mean. Some days I have to work hard not to correct some bogus nonsense I read online posted by someone I used to think had some sense. That’s another topic for another day, perhaps.)
Working alone, people can make temporary peace, and overcome that urge to beat someone up. Empowered by God, lasting peace is attainable. That’s what you want.
Talk later.