This quote below from Thomas Edison always annoys me. Yeah, it’s something he said and believed, but I can’t honestly say with conviction “I have not failed.” It sure feels like I have, and I don’t have a light bulb to show for it.

See the title of this post? I wish I’d said that. That’s actually a quote from the great Zig Ziglar – he has had an enormous impact on my life, and his organization, helmed by his son Tom, is blowing and going.

This is a hard concept for me to internalize. I beat myself up. Constantly. Because I’ve failed often, and occasionally failed big.

Here’s an example. Some years ago I left local church ministry to serve with a parachurch ministry in Metro Atlanta. This was a dream job for me. Reach Out Ministries was founded by Dr. Barry St. Clair, one of our patron saints in student ministry. He and his organization defined how I worked with teenagers in the local church. They brought me on as “resource specialist,” which means I helped develop our training and curriculum materials, as well as our equipping magazine. I also got to do consulting, work with churches searching for a student minister, help facilitate our conferences and retreats … it was a gift to serve there, playing to all my strengths and passions. Plus, I was still able to work with teenagers hands-on. Heck yeah.

There was one tiny problem, though. I was broke.

I was responsible for raising my own support. Which means I had to contact virtually every family and individual I knew and say, in effect, “Hey, would you send me $30 or more a month for the rest of your natural life so I can keep the lights on in our house?”

I was beyond lousy at this. For one thing, I was so paralyzed with fear at phoning people, setting up appointments, and trying to “close the sale” that it made me physically sick. The underlying sense was, “Hey, Tony – why don’t THEY pay you? You’re writing stuff – it’s not like you’re serving in some third world country, or surrounded by Muslims.” (I actually had someone say that to me. I crossed them off my Christmas card list.)

So I groveled along, getting some commitments here and there, but I basically never met my goals. “They” said that if you’re passionate about your calling, your ability to fundraise will come naturally. Passion I had. But the fundraising was excruciating, and I think people sensed that.

The upside was that we didn’t starve. About the worst that happened is that we had our electricity turned off. And we did have a good life and time of service with Reach Out, even though I felt like we lived with a wolf outside the door. Teresa had a good job, and that was a blessing.

Ultimately I went back to local church ministry. I had failed at raising support.

Still with me? Here’s why I share this tale of woe (and on reflection, in the grand cosmic scheme of things, it wasn’t such a big deal.)

It’s because you’ve been there. You’ve failed at something – a school assignment, a job, or a relationship. Your heart’s been broken. You’ve been crushed. You’ve wondered “what’s wrong with me? Is this how I’m to live my life – as a loser?”

So what’s a recovering failure to do? Here’s my counsel, the points in no particular order (and, dang it, some days I wish I could better listen to myself):

• A failure is an event in time. It is not you.
• Everyone fails and makes mistakes. Why do you think pencils have erasers?
• If you fail once, that’s soooo natural. But, if under the same circumstances you fail again, that is a choice. Dude, you’d better learn to make wiser decisions.
• Bust out your journal or some paper. Write out the event. Write out what happened, what the result was, and how it impacted you and others.
• Write down what you would do differently, given the same circumstances.
• Learn from this and move the heck on. You can’t take it back. You can’t drive a car looking in the rear-view mirror.
• Remember – you can have hope. You are not stuck. You are responsible for your choices, and bad choices bring predictable outcomes. But the “way you are” is not the way you have to remain.
• Finally – if you’re a believer, God’s got this. He has a way of dealing redemptively with us, always. Embrace that. Scripture is absolutely full of stories of men and women who failed spectacularly and yet made indelible impact on their world – that’s why we have their stories. Take comfort in knowing you’ll never walk alone.