Give me a break! Have you ever said that?

Of course you have. If not aloud, then certainly in your head.

Honestly, don’t you feel that sometimes people are taking advantage of you? They don’t “get” you? They are only thinking about themselves?

Give me a break, indeed. We could use that occasionally. If it’s not someone we need a break from, it’s a situation we need a break from.

Here’s a personal case in point, and I just bet you can relate.

I’ll say it out loud: Facebook can be toxic. Sure, you can decide what you read and what you scroll past, but you’ll see a post, see who wrote it, and – even if you know better – you read it. Then your blood pressure pegs out.

This last week I unfriended someone I’ve known since kindergarten. I haven’t seen this individual in years, but we’d reconnected on Facebook. It was obvious early on that they were in a different place than me. And that’s perfectly okay, right?

Even though I was never scorned by them personally, the tone of their posts was just downright ugly. Mean. Hateful.

I tried to keep scrolling when I saw their posts. But inevitably I’d read what they had to say. I’d regret it.

So, without fanfare, without dramatics, I simply unfriended them. Maybe I’ll reach out later. Or not. I’ll just have to see.

I’d never done that before. I’ve snoozed people because – you guessed it – I needed a break. With this person, however, my sentiment was: “We done. It doesn’t mean I love you any less, but we done.”

Part of guarding your heart involves who you let into your life.

But the thought occurred to me – is there someone who needs a break from me? Are they saying, “Give me a break … from Tony?”

If I think about that for too long, I’ll get weird. My temperament is such that I want to please people. That’s not always healthy.

Before I say that I need a break from someone, I need to realize this truth: I can’t be everything for everyone all the time. And, as equally as important, everyone can’t be everything I need all the time, either.

I’m discerning enough (and this can be a genuine burden) to know how people around me feel. Not only that, because I’m an empath, I also feel how they’re feeling. I used to think that was freaky, until I learned that it’s a genuine thing. It’s not common, but more people have those abilities than you’d think. I don’t count it as a superpower. It’s just there.

Anyway. Think about those close to you. A friend, a family member, a coworker, whoever. As much as they love you and care for you, there are going to be times when they’re all used up. They got nuthin’. They have that off day – they’re tired, frustrated, scared, melancholy, all that.

It is possible, too to have an off week. And I’m old enough to realize that it is entirely possible to have an off month or even year (I’m looking at you, 2020.)

It might be that, because we all have “those days,” someone close to you can’t give you what you need. It may be that they are subconsciously taking a break from you.

That may seem unfair. But it’s unfair to expect those in your life to run at full capacity all the time.

Know what? People will let you down.

You’ve let down other people.

It balances out.

I’m attracted to those who are struggling, for whatever reason. I want to fix them. One thing I have learned, though, is that you can’t want something for someone more than they want it for themselves. You can wear yourself out trying to be all things for all people.

Self-preservation, and guarding your heart, sometimes means putting some distance between you and that other person. But if you only want to be around someone when they’re upbeat and chipper and at their best, you aren’t much of a friend.

It’s all about seasons, right? We just can’t be disappointed with someone who, for a time, doesn’t meet up to our expectations. Chances are you’ve been distant and disconnected with other folks yourself.

But, if you find yourself in a constant state of disappointment with those you care about, it may just be that you’re putting demands on them that they can’t fulfill.

They are looking at you with all your impossible requests of them and they’re saying, “Give me a break.”

Perhaps it’s time we all developed enough sensitivity to give people the break they need. Maybe they’ll offer the same grace back to you.

Be well.