How to live in fear. That’s counterintuitive, isn’t it? Who wants to live in fear? Who wants to be scared all the time?

Not me.

You’ve seen lists of what people are most afraid of. Things like public speaking, spiders, ladders, flying, and so forth.

I don’t do well with heights. It’s not a phobia – at least I don’t think it is. But if I’m on a ledge of a mountain or building, and there’s no railing … if there’s nothing between me and the ground but air … sweaty palms, man.

Here’s what is generally accepted to be the biggest fear of all:

The fear of dying.

Want to live in fear? Many people are simply terrified of dying. Scared to death of it. (See what I did there?)

Think about this. I don’t know many people who enjoy thinking about death. The thought of dying, of embracing mortality, is shoved way back into the recesses of their minds.

Our culture tries to make sure we don’t live in fear of dying. There are all sorts of distractions out there to help us avoid the reality of mortality. There are whole industries designed to make us look and feel younger.

Nostalgia helps. Think about the oldies stations on the radio. Look at the success of television shows that recapture a period in our mind and hearts.

And meds? They’re available. Pharmaceutical companies provide pills to relieve pain, improve our well-being, and even keep anxiety and depression at bay.

Living in fear is obviously unhealthy. And here’s why, at least when to comes to what my grandmother quaintly (and accurately) called “the approaching shade.”

It’s like death is the last taboo. You just aren’t supposed to talk about it. You may be wondering why you’re even reading this right now.

Back in the day, death was interwoven with life itself. If someone died, they’d lie in state at their homes. Wakes were part of the whole experience.

Now, we have hospitals and hospice for the dying. That’s not bad; I came to love and appreciate hospice services for my mama. I like having drugs available that can ease pain and mitigate symptoms.

However, once you combine modern medicine, technology, and the ease by which we can distance ourselves from death, death is almost an alien experience. It’s never welcome, but now, it’s in a sealed-off, isolated room.

It’s like people think they’re immortal, y’know? Kids – teenagers – have always conducted themselves as though nothing can hurt them. Sometimes that carries over into adulthood when people take unnecessary, unreasonable risks.

That immortality thing? It’s almost as though if you don’t think about dying, it just won’t happen. Maybe it does to others. Maybe it does to really old people. Or, perhaps, it’s not even a thing to give a thought to – ever.

Well, pilgrim, unless Jesus tarries His return, you and I are going to die. That death angel will come knocking, and off we go.

Depressed yet?

Don’t be. I’ll encourage you in just a bit. Let me go just a little further into the dark. I don’t want you to live in fear.

If our society is one that avoids death, what happens when we all collectively have to deal with death and dying?

COVID-19 has given us that opportunity.

Yeah, I know the statistics, and they are encouraging. Chances are you wont get it, and chances are absolutely minuscule that if you get it, you’ll die from it.

I tested positive for COVID a couple of weeks ago. I was spared the nastiness. No fever except early on, no breathing issues. I was really achy at first, and had a cough and runny nose, but no big deal. The fatigue was what’s been killer. I’ve never felt as tired as I do even now. No fun. And other than an irrational five minutes or so right after the diagnosis, I haven’t worried. I don’t live in fear.

But people do die from this thing. You can’t escape it. The numbers are paraded in front of us in real-time.

Because of that, even the staunchest of us has had our worldview changed. While the physical threat is really minimal, the psychological threat is a whole other thing. It is real, and present, and pervasive.

If you haven’t thought about death, I’ll bet you have now.

Because of that, Americans have been paralyzed. There has been, in my mind, a clear and definite division in the populace. I’d contend that this is worse than the physical aspects of the pandemic. I’ve kind of obliquely wondered from time to time how we as a people would respond to a pandemic. Now I know.

Those two groups show definite behavior patterns:

Group One has retreated entirely from their normal lives. They hunker down in their homes. They sleep in their masks. They wash their hands until bone shows.

Group Two lives their lives pretty much as always. They get out and about. They are prudent, they take reasonable precautions, and they tend to wear masks when asked to. They aren’t rebellious, and except for some outliers, they understand that it’s just a virus. There’s not some insidious plot working against them. They’re cute in their tinfoil hats.

The biggest difference in the two groups is that Group Two refuses to be overcome by fear.

Group One tends to identify those in Group Two as deniers, and there may be an element of truth in that. They’d say that the Group Two folks are abandoning reason and science.

Know what, though? Those folks in Group Two? They’re trying to live their lives as usual because they’re NOT in denial. They recognize their mortality, and, at the risk of sounding flippant, they know they will die of something one day. They don’t invite COVID – like I noted, they are following protocol, at least for the most part – but they simply want to make the most of an awful situation.

In other words, they do not live in fear.

As a believer, I’d like to be counted as part of Group Two. But I am not gonna hate on those in Group One.

Pay attention.

You know yourself. You know your situation and circumstances. And because of that, you have the absolute liberty (within the law) to do what’s best for you and yours.

If you’re going to be with others during the holidays, ask yourself: Will you be with anyone who’d be considered at risk? Someone who is experiencing chemo, or anything else that would compromise their immune system?

Here’s what to do. Do what you and your family need to do, being extraordinarily cautious even if it infringes on your “freedom,” and be respectful of others and the decisions they have to make.

In other words, this maskers vs. anti -maskers nonsense needs to stop. If you’re part of all that, I’m thoroughly ashamed of you. And, yes, I’ve personally been a party to some of that, and I’m ashamed of myself.

Don’t judge others because they are handling all this differently than you. They might live in fear, right or wrong.

But you don’t know their reasoning.

You don’t know what’s going on in their lives that leads them to the decisions they’re having to make.

I’ll just bet the answers they’ve come up with didn’t come easily.

Can I say this again? Don’t judge.

Take care of yourself and yours. It may frustrate you, but you aren’t going to change anyone else – at least if you consciously try to change them.

Do what you need to do personally, being wise and measured. Don’t wall yourself off from other opinions. That’s what “snowflakes” do, and running away from things you don’t want to hear, or that you disagree with, isn’t healthy at all.

In other words, don’t live in fear. We are literally all in this together. Do what you need to to protect yourself and stay healthy, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And simply don’t worry about others who may not see things as you do.

Be well. Be safe. There is an end date to all this. O be joyful.

EDIT:  I almost forgot. Unless there’s some compelling, rational reason for doing otherwise – wear your mask. Do it for your Uncle Tony and others like me who got sick. What could it hurt?