“You have a bad attitude.”

Lord knows I’ve used that phrase a gazillion times over my years in youth ministry. Kids would come slumping into the youth room and just glare at me, as if saying, “Prove to me this is worth my time.”

With my own kids, I didn’t use that phrase much. If they rolled their eyes at me, or gave me any other body language hints, chances are we’d have some intense fellowship.

So. You ever have one of those weeks when it seems like the cosmos is conspiring against you? That hammers your attitude. It gives you an excuse to have a bad one.

I had one of those weeks a while back. I was mightily annoyed at the world. It started one morning when I had to buy gas. I watched that counter on the pump speed along, and I got to the point where I felt like I needed to look under the car to see if gas was leaking on the ground. Whatcha gonna do?

There was a hiccup at work that I made a much bigger mental deal out of than I should.

I was sidelined with the Mother of All Migraines.

I felt like my relationships – basically, all of them – were out of whack.

Several people that I love much were and are facing legitimate crises. Here comes Tony, riding in on that white steed, ready to rescue folks from their woes. I was by-golly gonna fix things.

And the chickens aren’t laying because they’re moulting. Oh, horrors!

And you’re saying, dang, Tony. Get over yourself. None of that is all that awful. You need an attitude adjustment.

Hey, guess what? You do too. If not now, you will soon enough.

What happens to most of us is that we get so annoyed that we start making bad decisions that can lead to even worse ones. You end up with awful consequences and circumstances. and you know they’re self-inflicted. It’s a vicious cycle.

So, operating like I tend to do, I thought way too much about my attitude and how to fix it. I came up with five truths, and a couple of ’em ain’t so pleasant. Stay with me; I’ll see if I can end on a positive note. These aren’t in any particular order.

ONE – It can get worse. Often it will.

This is me belaboring the obvious. Don’t ever say it can’t get any worse. You’ve no doubt experienced it – it’s like not being able to catch a break. It can be pretty benign things, like watching grocery prices skyrocket. Or it can be a loved one who is sick, and instead of getting better, gets sicker. This isn’t me being pessimistic; I’m just noting what I’ve observed and experienced. Welcome to the club, right? This can really work on your attitude.

TWO – No matter what you do, you can’t stop life’s bad turns.

Accept this as the bitter truth it is. But it’s not really bitter, now is it? Because those bad turns will test you, sift you, refine you, and purify you. Someone will badmouth you. Your plans get scrapped or defeated. You can get hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. But at this point your life can take a dramatic turn for the better once you learn and internalize that truth. The universe isn’t out to get you. But there are plenty of things you’re powerless to stop.

THREE – You can live happily in spite of life’s ups and downs.

My fingers are typing that, but my mind and heart are trying to reject it. Here is rock-solid truth, though, and it exists outside of your opinion: You can live happily when you depend on Jesus Christ daily and trust in God’s sovereignty and purposes. I mean, sheesh, one of the most beloved verses in all of scripture addresses this. Paul learned how to be content no matter what – he realized that he could do all things through Christ who gave him strength.

I hope you can see that through a fresh set of eyes. We all wear me-centered contact lenses, and that doesn’t help our attitude at all. The trick is to see yourself and your world through God’s eyes – believers are supernaturally equipped to do that – and once that happens, you can be freed from your circumstances. I wish I had a one-two-three outline that would teach you how to do that. I don’t. I just know it’s promised.

FOUR – How you react is more important than what happens to you.

Oh, man. Read that again.

Because, for the most part, you can’t do squat about what happens to you. What you can do – and what you have to do to fix your attitude – is understand you do have control over your response to hard times. It’s called the power to choose, and if there were superpowers available to anyone, this is one you’d want.

Your response to situations can be personally enlightening. Your response is what you are. 

This is a spiritual act of worship, if you want to take a look at the first few verses of Romans 12. The authentic truth is that you have to decide who is in charge of your attitude. Finally –

FIVE – God is the one Who allows – even wills – things to happen, and that includes everything that enters your life.

It comes down to who’s in control of your attitude. Am I right?

If you keep your own counsel, internalize your frustrations, and nurse your rotten attitude like a growing plant, you are in for an unpleasant life.

Here’s our assignment: When you’re frustrated, irritated, or even feeling crushed and overwhelmed, do a gut check and determine why you feel or are responding that way. This means you’ll have to disengage emotionally, as best you can. Look at what got you to this state.

Here’s where the dreaded “D” word comes into play. You have to discipline yourself to use God-centered vision instead of me-centered vision. And here’s where the power to choose comes in. You can choose how you want to view things.

At that point, you can anticipate a little miracle. God will adjust your attitude. You’ll be able to discern His hand, even if it doesn’t make sense.

Ancient script says this, in Philippians 2:5 and 4:12-13:

Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus … I know how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.

Talk later!