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“Change, and the world will change for you.” That means that I am responsible for much of my well-being.

 

That’s another one of those quotes that I can’t credit to anyone, other than noting it’s not original with me. It didn’t show up in a Google search. Maybe it was Napoleon Hill. And it’s a good’un.

 

Here are the implications:

 

• The way things are now aren’t the way they have to remain.
• If you aren’t happy with your current situation or circumstances, you can choose to make it different …
• … OR if change is out of your control, then you can change yourself. That is NOT out of your control.

 

This is so not me, by the way. My self-discipline, even on a good day, is on life support. And I am responsible for that.

 

It is infinitely easier to be a victim. It’s easier to state or believe that everything I experience, everything I am surrounded by, is due to some malicious intent on the part of God, who delights in making me miserable. He does this by engineering events, putting me in the path of jerks, and inflicting me with pain of various sorts.

 

Not.

 

That’s not the God I know.

 

I haven’t wanted this blog to be preachy, because I cordially dislike being preached to myself. I try to be mindful of folks reading this, because if their belief system doesn’t match up with orthodox Christianity, I don’t want them to get bored and wander off. Having said that … what I want to share is deeply rooted in my Christian worldview, and if that’s not your bag, stick around anyway. I’ll post something more palatable for you later. Or not; I’m gonna be true to who I am and what He means to me. I just want you to find real value here.

 

Anyway. In order for this to take root, you are going to have to learn to say an unpleasant phrase, and mean it when you say it:

 

“I am responsible.”

 

Did you choke when you said it? Then you must not have meant it.

 

Because here’s what you’re saying: You are saying that the condition of your life, your state of mind, your emotions are all your responsibility. Other people aren’t responsible for them. Your mama isn’t responsible for them. Society isn’t responsible for them. The government isn’t responsible for them. Nor are other family members, your boss, your professor, your coach, or your mynah bird. You are responsible.

 

This is both terrifying and liberating. It’s scary because now you don’t have anyone to blame for your situation. It’s liberating because now you don’t have anyone to blame on your situation. You wrestle with it because now your attitude is “I am responsible for this,” and you are right. So to get your situation  right, you must get yourself right. You do that by assuming you brought things on yourself, and even if you didn’t, you’ve brought your mindset onto yourself.

 

Don’t get all high and mighty on me. “Now Tony,” you say, “you don’t understand what I’ve been through. You don’t know the toxic people in my life. You don’t know what seeing my mama wrestle a bull when I was two years old did to me.”

 

Fine. Point taken. But your story is my story. It’s a universal tale. We all face grief and hardship. We all struggle. And more often than not, we are responsible for it all.

 

If you want to prove this to yourself, here’s a little exercise for you. It’ll sober you up pretty quickly.

 

• Take a sheet of paper. Draw a line down the middle of it.
• At the top of the left column, write “Unhappy Situation.” At the top of the right column, write “I am responsible because…”
• Start writing. Write down a situation, and across from it, write how you are responsible for it.

 

This can be an excruciating exercise. If you enter into it with the intent of being honest, you will learn some things about yourself that you may wish that you didn’t have to acknowledge.

 

There are some followup questions to make this even more telling:

 

• What are your major excuses for not making progress or changing?
• What are the situations that make you mad?
• What are you blaming on others when you become angry?

 

… and the biggie –

 

• What will you do differently because of what you have learned?

 

Obviously, there is no quick fix. Actually, that’s not completely true. I believe making the choice to accept responsibility can be made immediately, at any time. The process of life change because of that decision might take some time.

 

I can encourage you. As I’ve pointed out before, you can change whenever you want to. Change should give birth to hope, because it proves you aren’t trapped. Best of all, you are in the grip of One who loves you immensely. Roll with that.