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I’m an empath. Your response might be “so what?” closely accompanied by “who cares?” Stick around. You may learn something.

Empaths make up less than 2% of the population. It is derived from the word “empathy,” which is the ability to both understand and feel other people’s feelings. “An empath is someone who doesn’t have the same filters that others have so they tend to feel everything. Empaths are emotional sponges who tend to take on the stress (and positivity) of the world,” explains Judith Orloff, M.D., psychiatrist and author of the book “Thriving as an Empath: 365 Days of Self-Care for Sensitive People.”

If you’re an empath, these last few weeks have been perfectly awful for you. Here’s why.

1. You feel the pain of others. If you share that with people who don’t understand what an empath is, it quickly freaks them out. I’ve said, “Not only do I know how you feel, I feel what you feel.” Saying that is always a good way to make a new friend. Not. I’d add, too, that empathy isn’t some new-agey feely-touchy concept. It’s a psychological reality.
2. If someone says one thing and means another, you know it. I’ve had people try to bluff and bluster their way through a situation and I’m sitting there thinking, “Really?” In your attempt to listen to others, you’ve heard stuff that was outright baloney. You knew it, too.
3. You feel drained if you’re around certain people for too long. The term is “energy vampire.” There are some folks in my life I’d just as soon see going as coming. I’ve been around certain individuals and left their presence with relief. They were so incredibly negative and cynical that I felt like I needed a shower.
4. You feel a certain emotion around specific people every time you’re with them. Several years ago there was a gentleman in a church I was serving whose two daughters were in my youth group. This man was so special to me, and he never even knew it. My thought was, “I want people to feel around me the way I feel around him.” There’s an opposite to this, of course – see #3 above.
5. Emotions can be confusing – one minute you were feeling normal and the next you’re feeling something else entirely and you don’t understand why. “Moody” doesn’t even come close as a descriptor. It’s a different thing altogether. It sometimes has nothing to do with what’s going on in your environment. It just is.
6. You dislike and avoid conflict. It can make you physically ill. You don’t want to even be around conflict, whether you’re a part of it yoursef or not. It genuinely bewilders you when people don’t try to get along. It just hurts.
7. You have trouble fitting in. That’s not to say you don’t have friends – you can have close, intimate friends and enjoy their company. Still, you have a sense of not belonging. You may self-identify as being socially awkward. Those profound things you want to say come out as gibberish.
8. You are easily overwhelmed. I’ve joked about when the next Space-X flight takes place, I’d like to hitch a ride. I need a break from earth. You really, really need your alone time.
9. People tend to tell you their problems – sometimes even their life stories. It can happen randomly. It doesn’t even have to be someone you know. I’ve got a couple of airplane stories that verify this.
10. You are highly intuitive – you simply “get” things that others don’t. There is a specific sense of your surroundings – you constantly have the experiences of, say, walking into a “peaceful” house or a “happy” room. And you are uncannily right about your senses.

“Tony,” you say, “I find that all rather odd. Why are you sharing this? It doesn’t really apply to me or where I am.”

If you’re an empath, your greatest strength can also be your greatest curse.

I’m coming from a place of some life experience. I’ve been around a while. Age doesn’t equate with wisdom, though. I know plenty of stupid old people.

As subjectively as I can, I’m telling you that these are unprecedented days for me. Maybe you, too.

If you aren’t an empath (and, statistically, you probably aren’t), then you are most likely a “just the facts, ma’am” kind of person. “Tell me what you’re going to do. Tell me what I’m supposed to do. Don’t bog down in how all this ‘feels.'”

Well, pilgrim, facts aren’t going to serve you as well as they might once have. You have to recognize how hurting, frustrated, confused, angry, hopeful people feel, and give them the grace and space to let them feel.

An empath understand that. They intuitively know how people feel. That’s a good thing. But they also feel what other people feel, and that’s not all that great.

Go back and look at my arbitrary list of 10. Maybe you see yourself in one or more of them. Maybe not.

If you do, then exploit that. Turn it into a positive. Let it be an asset, a helpful trait, to help you get some answers. Ask those questions. Let others ask those questions of you. Listen. Love harder.

But – and this is a huge but – be smart about when to engage and when to disengage with someone. Observe, don’t absorb. Your survival depends on that. That’s a solemn admonition to anyone.

Tony’s question: What can you do today to demonstrate empathy with someone else? Please share in the comments below. You might just encourage someone.