Let’s talk about eight things in your control. Last week I shared seven things that were out of your control, so this time around we’ll balance that out.

Last week was a reality check for most of us. Today, though, take heart. There are things in your control. You just have to act.

1. Your thoughts and actions.

Yep, your thoughts and actions are in your control.

Working backwards, let’s think about actions.

I am obese. Fat. I’ve worked so dang hard over the years to deal with this health issue, and have had some success, but it’s a back and forth proposition. Right now I’m trending in a good direction, but the problem is … I like food. Everything about it.

One thing I’ve noticed though – I’ve never accidentally eaten anything. It’s always a choice.

I don’t know what you may have in your life that is a similar issue. Is eating under my control? You bet it is, if I want it to be. Is your thing, whatever it is, in your control? Indeed it is.

And thoughts? How do we deal with those? Are they under your control?

This is a little trickier, because you can’t not think about something (grammar cops, I know that’s not correct. Lock me up.) It’s like saying, “For the next 30 seconds, don’t think about tomatoes.” Ain’t gonna happen.

When it comes to controlling your thoughts, the only thing I’ve found that helps me is to (a) put some distance between myself and whatever it is that is causing toxic thoughts, and (b) crowding out those thoughts with positive thoughts. My trick is to simply read scripture, or call up any scripture I have memorized, and focus on that. That’s my strategy; you’ll just have to come up with your own.

Your thoughts and actions are in your control.

2. How I speak to myself.

This one is actually pretty funny. I’ll just bet that you say things to yourself that, if someone else were saying them, you’d punch them in the throat.

“You idiot. You big dummy. Why did you do such a stupid thing? You can’t do this. You don’t have what it takes to succeed. You’re gonna be just the way you are forever.”

See what I mean? I’ve said those things.

This self-talk is in your control. Only say kind things, affirming things, about yourself. Don’t self-sabotage.

3. How you spend your free time.

It’s called free time for a reason. By definition, it’s free because you can do whatever you want to with it.

You may have work time. That’s where you get paid to spend your time on a job. It’s called work. If it weren’t work, it’d be called recess.

Relational time? That’s time spent with others. Family, friends – this is a good investment. But it’s not free time. You are constrained by the actions you’re taking.

That free time means that you have time to do what you please. There may be constraints. What you do with your free time may be too expensive, unhealthy, or hurtful to someone else. That’s not wise, but it’s still your time. How you spend it is very much in your control.

4. Your boundaries.

I’m not talking about those boundaries others put on you. The speed limit as you drive would be a boundary chosen for you. You don’t have to recognize or obey it, but it’s still out there.

The boundaries I mean are those you get to choose. This is healthy.

There are the boundaries you set for yourself. For instance, you may have a boundary that says, “I am not going to spend more than x amount of time on social media.” To the extent you recognize and obey that boundary, you’ll feel pretty good about yourself.

Conversely, you can set boundaries for other people. It’s protecting yourself from unhealthy, draining people. Or saying, “Thanks, but I don’t need to hear anymore about that.”

Maybe even walking away. I’ve had to do that. Some people just wound your soul, y’know?

So, yeah, your boundaries are in your control. Take care of them.

5. What I give my energy to.

This one is pretty simple. You get to decide what you invest your energy in.

Obviously, I’m not talking about working for the other guy. If you have a job, you work at it. If you don’t, you may not have it that much longer.

I’m more talking about the energy you invest in a calling, or passion, or even how you use time. Abraham Lincoln said, “Whatever you are, be a good one.” That’s fits here. Put all that time, emotion, and energy into something that’s meaningful to you. You can challenge yourself physically – that takes physical energy. You can throw yourself into a hobby, something that takes up time and headspace and makes you happy. Or volunteer work. Serving your church. These can be really good places to invest your energy. These things are in your control.

The cautionary part of this is that you probably don’t want to invest energy in something that’ll hurt you or hurt others. That’s in your control, too.

6. The goals I set.

I’m pretty obsessive about setting personal goals. It may be that this isn’t such a big deal to you.

Still, you might want to have something meaningful to aim for. I could write on and on about the importance of goal setting, of knowing where you want to go and how to get there.

Simply stated, though, the goals you set are in your control. They are yours. It’s not goals someone else sets for you (“I need you to produce 12 widgets a day.”)

These are the goals that give your days meaning, that help you reach beyond yourself. You choose these. They are in your control.

Maybe I’ll do a whole blog about goal setting. That could be a goal I have!

7. How I handle my challenges.

You get to decide this, too! Isn’t that something. This is in your control.

You will face challenges. Lots of them. And how you respond will in large part determine the quality of your life.

Some people simply fold. Something hard comes along and they throw up their hands. “There’s nothing I can do,” they say. Or, with a weary sigh, their attitude is “Oh, well,” and they just float along like a dead fish in a stream.

Those are choices you can make. It is in your control.

Or – you can choose to handle your challenges proactively. You can look at the challenge, think of ways to deal with it, and act, act, act. Right now.

Of course there are things you can’t do anything about. Just try to take action to stop a tornado. You gonna lose.

But, when challenged, even if you can’t influence the challenge/issue/occurrence itself, you can indeed decide how to handle your response to it.

That is a superpower. Use it.

8. Your relationship to God.

This is the big one. Your relationship to the Almighty is SO up to you. It is in your control. Even when God is silent, or seems to withdraw His presence from you, you get to decide how to remain in Him.

That relationship can be as distant or as intimate as you want it to be. There may be some discipline and consistency due on your part. Like any relationship, it takes work. It can’t go on autopilot.

The old cliche saying is still true: If you think God is distant, guess who moved.

Make that relationship as meaningful and rich as you like. You get to decide what you want and need. It is in your control.

Sweet.

Talk later!