Negative self-talk? You prone to that? Let’s work on it.
As Christians, we believe that we are created in the image of God and that God loves us unconditionally. However, sometimes we forget this truth and allow negative self-talk to take over our minds. This is a pretty nasty deal. Negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive, holding us back from pursuing our dreams, preventing us from taking risks, and robbing us of our joy and peace.
But here’s the good news: we don’t have to live with negative self-talk. By recognizing when negative thoughts are taking over our minds, replacing them with positive ones, and trusting in God’s promises, we can get rid of negative self-talk and live the joyful, peaceful, and fulfilling lives that God intended for us.
Recognizing Negative Self-Talk
The first step in getting rid of negative self-talk is recognizing when it’s taking over our minds. Negative self-talk can take many forms, such as telling ourselves we’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough. It can also take the form of a nagging feeling that we’ll never measure up to our own or other people’s expectations. Whatever form it takes, negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive.
One way to recognize negative self-talk is to pay attention to the thoughts we have throughout the day. When we notice a negative thought, we can pause and ask ourselves if it’s true. Often, we’ll find that the negative thought is based on a lie, rather than on reality. You’ll have to come up with your own list of triggers, but it’s easy to lie to yourself and believe what you’re saying.
Keeping It Positive
Once we recognize negative self-talk, we can take steps to replace it with positive thoughts that align with God’s truth. Notice I’m talking about God’s truth and not “truth” from another source. I’m an absolute truth kind of guy … truth, by its nature, can’t contradict itself. I’m talking about truth with no mixture of error, and that’s from God alone. We can do this by finding Bible verses or positive affirmations that counteract the negative thought. Here are a few examples:
If we’re struggling with the belief that we’re unlovable, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Romans 8:38-39, which says, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
If we’re feeling like we’re not good enough, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Philippians 4:13, which says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
And if we’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious, we can remind ourselves of the truth in Matthew 6:34, which says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Practicing Positive Self-Talk
Replacing negative self-talk with positive thoughts is just the first step. The next step is to practice positive self-talk consistently. This means intentionally choosing to speak and think positively about ourselves, even when it’s hard. We can do this by creating a list of positive affirmations and Bible verses that we can turn to whenever negative self-talk creeps in. Here are a few examples – some of God’s greatest hits, if you will:
- I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
- I am a child of God (John 1:12).
- I am more than a conqueror through Christ (Romans 8:37).
- I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
- I am loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).
Trusting in God’s Promises
Finally, we can trust in God’s promises as we work to get rid of negative self-talk. We can pray for strength, wisdom, and guidance, knowing that God is with us.
Chances are that I haven’t shared a single thing that you didn’t know. The goal, I’d say, is to close that gap between what you believe and actually do. You can’t wait until you feel like taking action to end what’s hurting you. Act first. Your feelings will catch up.
I hope these helped. You are harder on yourself than anyone else is. Embrace what God has done and what He thinks about you. His opinion matters. Yours doesn’t.