Worried about Ukraine?

I am watching the horrific tragedy of Russia invading Ukraine in real time. History buff that I am, I’m getting WWII vibes here.

I could go on about Putin being psychotic, about how the Ukrainians are showing steely resolve, and how we as the United States should engage. I also think that Volodymyr Zelenskyy will be a future member of the Avengers. That’s not what this blog is about.

Because, if you’re worried about Ukraine, then I want to share some ways you can maybe break that cycle of worry.

Actually, I’ll broaden this out to dealing with anxiety in general.

I’ve dealt with worry and anxiety plenty of times in my blog. My sense, though, is that mental health issues like anxiety don’t need to be ignored … there is always someone wanting a fresh word of encouragement.

Anxiety and worry – sort of the same thing, perhaps – about Ukraine or anything else can paralyze you. It is a demon. There seems to be a progression in worry. (Note: This isn’t all original to me, but I’ll be dogged if I can find or remember the original sources. I’m pretty bad about just scribbling stuff in my journal and not identifying where it came from.)

Anyway … here are five steps to anxiety. If you want to worry about Ukraine, here’s how to worry effectively. (Tongue in cheek here, of course. I know my humor doesn’t always travel well. I had someone on Instagram light me up because she thought I was making light of the situation over there, just because I’d reposted something from The Babylon Bee. Mea culpa.)

1. Worry first rears its head because of some sort of pressure. It may be you were expecting something and your expectations were unmet. For instance, you might’ve expected a good report from your doctor and didn’t get it. You may feel like “the government” is forcing you to do something you’re against. The point is that pressure – from without or within – can cause anxiety.
2. Worry lives rent-free in your mind. Whatever that thing is that is causing you anxiety – Ukraine or whatever – is metastasizing like a cancer. It’s eating you up from the inside. It is taking on way too much influence than it should.
3. Worry changes your behavior. Often, men just default to radio silence. They keep it bottled up, because they’re afraid it’ll show up as some sort of weakness. Maybe that’s a sexist impression, since women may be more expressive in their worry. Either way, anxiety impacts how you act. 
4. Worry changes the way you think. If you’re worried about Ukraine, then your thought life can become focused in an unhealthy way. It’s a bit like point 2 above, but this is a matter of focus. Maybe even an obsession. I’ve seen this on social media a lot … I can predict what someone’s Facebook or Instagram post is going to be about even before I read it. It’s being single-minded in all the wrong ways.
5. Worry unchecked takes you to one of the worst places imaginable – it makes you feel like a loser. You think you’ve failed because you can’t seem to shake your anxiety. Or, it may even be that you worry because you worry. Isn’t that an awful state?

This all culminates in a self-fulfilling prophecy. The very things you don’t want to happen happen anyway because you’ve become obsessed. Covid is another great example … people are anxious because of possible mandates, or anxious because not enough people have gotten vaccinated, or anxious because they worry they’ll fall in that miniscule percentage of folks who get really sick.

Obviously, worrying about Ukraine isn’t helpful, because chances are you can not directly influence what is happening on the ground over there. (You can help, though – there are plenty of legitimate ways to get aid to those Ukrainians who desperately need it.)

I’ll share a little personal experience.

Several years ago I worked for a parachurch organization in metro Atlanta. It was a dream job – to this day I don’t think I’ve ever served in any capacity in any role that was better suited for me. It was how I was hardwired. It was a gift.

Problem was, though, I had to raise my own support. My livelihood was dependent on me going to basically everyone I knew and say something like, “Hey, will you send me $30 a month for the rest of your natural life so I can buy some groceries?”

I was unspeakably lousy at it. To ask for money, to engage on what felt like such a needy level … ack. 

The result was that we barely scratched by. Some months were worse than others. There were times when I’d get all spiritual and say things like “the Lord will take care of our needs.” I believed that.

Then I’d look at the checkbook and realize I had to pay the electric bill.

Was I anxious about that? You bet. I experienced every one of those five points I shared earlier. It put relational pressure on my family, on my friends, on everybody. I wasn’t much fun to be around.

Worry had got the upper hand. It affected my personality. It made me come across (in my eyes) as a failure, a loser. 

I got some advice, though. Here it is: “Don’t worry.”

Can you imagine how unhelpful that is? It made me want to punch the advice-giver in the head. 

However, there is a glimmer of hope in a solution. If you’re worried about Ukraine, or Covid, or global warming or anything else, here’s what I’m learning. God knows I’m not there yet.

If you change the way you behave, then you change the outcome.

Remember Jesus’ admonition to “turn the other cheek?” Talk about counterintuitive. Someone slaps you, and you offer up the other side of your face so you can be slapped again. 

This isn’t about just being a wimp. The normal response is to hit back, and harder. But when you take a hit and don’t hit back, you’ve disrupted a cycle. You’ve changed the outcome of where the exchange was going. Two things have happened: you have controlled your response, and the other person – whether they hit you again or not – has at least been given the opportunity to question their behavior. 

In the case of worry, there’s a similar strategy.

• If every time you worry about something, do something to help someone else. It shifts the focus from yourself to the needs of others. It breaks the cycle. 
• If you get anxious because of what you’re seeing on the news, change channels. The Andy Griffin show is always on somewhere. 
• If something on social media upsets you, keep scrolling. You can absolutely control what goes in your head. You don’t have to respond to everyone, even when they’re wrong. 
• If you are dealing with a health issue, go to the best doctor you can find, do what he or she says, and keep praying. Worrying isn’t going to add a single minute to your lifespan.
• Finally, say with conviction “God’s got this” Because He does.

One more thing. If anxiety is at critical mass in your life, there is absolutely no harm – only benefit – in getting some help. My own story in dealing with depression is a combination of counseling, good meds, a wise neurologist and other medical professionals. Plus having folks around me that love me, support me, and try to understand me.

You can’t do a whole lot about what’s happening in Ukraine. But you can give God the freedom to heal your mind, heart, and emotions. 

Talk later!