Anytime I visit a blog and read “7 Ways to Endless Wealth” or “9 Ways to Save Money on Toilet Paper,” I can be a little skeptical. But I’m safe with this one – 5 things to stop right now.

There are probably many more you need to stop. These 5 things to stop right now are at the front of my mind. I’m preaching to myself. I just thought I’d let you sit in.

Here ya go.

Trying to please everyone.

This may just be particular to me. I doubt it. When someone says, “I don’t care what others think,” I believe that’s bogus. A better phrase might be “I can’t do anything about what others think.” You’d better care! If people think you’re a liar and a cheat, a gut check would be to determine if they’re justified in thinking that.

Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. Simple enough. You need to care about your reputation.

Beyond that – you really can’t control other people’s thoughts about you. When you start maneuvering and weaseling around trying to please folks just so you’ll be more accepted, it’s liable to backfire. People know when others are fawning over them.

Simply stated – you can’t please everyone. Don’t even try. It makes you look like a moron.

Fearing change.

Part of this is pining for “the good old days,” whatever you perceived them to be. I’d wager that at the time you weren’t saying, “gee, these are going to be the good old days someday.”

Maybe you did feel that way (and I’ve said, “It doesn’t get any better than this!” and sometimes it didn’t).

Still, there is often a resistance to change. And it earns a place in the 5 things to stop right now.

You probably aren’t driving the same car you did ten year ago. That’s change.

Maybe you got the best boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband. That’s change, too.

I think the issue is that all change, even good change, alway involves a loss. Getting married means losing a bit of independence. Changing jobs for a better one means losing a certain amount of familiarity, even if the job was a bad one. And so forth.

Our world is designed to be ever changing. You can simply look at the seasons, for instance, and know that spring is not fall is not winter is not summer. Change works just fine in nature. It will in your life, too. It’s actually necessary. Don’t be afraid of it.

Living in the past.

You can’t drive a car while looking in the rearview mirror. The great theologian and philosopher, Meat Loaf, put it this way:

And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.

Harking back to that “good old days” theme – it’s so easy and comfortable to remember that performance on the football field, or that first date, or when you met your spouse. That’s all good.

The danger comes in camping out in memories. An over-fondness for what was can really cause you to disengage from the present.

The present is where you live right now. You can’t go back to what was. You have no idea of what is to come. It’s about embracing the moment.

Living in the past? What happened, what you experienced, is just that – the past. You can’t change any of that, Doc Brown.

Putting yourself down.

Are you unduly hard on yourself? Does self-doubt have its claws dug into you? This is a great candidate for one of the 5 things to stop right now.

I’ll just bet you say things to yourself, or about yourself, that if anyone else said the same thing to you, you’d punch them in the throat.

“You’re pathetic. You’re an idiot. You constantly screw things up. You’ve ruined your life. Who do you think you are?”

See, if someone else said those things to us, we’d be livid. And yet, we can routinely say those same things to ourselves and finish by saying, “Yeah, you’re right.”

That kind of negative self-talk will take you down. Stop that. What good is it doing?

Finally, in our rogue’s gallery of 5 things to stop right now, is my personal favorite, and the bane of my existence:

Overthinking.

Really, now, Tony. Really. Why must you spend so much time in your own head? Is that your kryptonite, too?

I’m not really a worrier. Anxiety isn’t a big deal. Depression is my mental illness of choice since my brain injury.

And yet – overthinking. It’s second-guessing decisions I’ve already made. It’s analyzing what I said – or didn’t say – and no matter that the discussion took place seven years ago. Or rehearsing a speech in the shower, trying to come up with just the right combination of words to carry my point. It’s all those “what-if’s.” Maybe it’s thinking about what I’d do if a chunk of ice fell off an airplane wing and smashed on top of me. (Okay, that last one isn’t that big of a deal. But I’ve come close to having random thoughts that are just as asinine.)

Want to know how to stop overthinking? Quit thinking about what can go wrong. Think about what can go right. And be grateful.

That’s today’s 5 things to stop right now. Tomorrow’s list might be different. I just wanted to share my ponderings with you. Hope they helped. Your comments below are always welcome. And sharing on social media is always a sweet gesture.

(Note: the folks that host my blog have worked really hard to get me back online. My blog hasn’t been available since Tuesday. It’s good to be back. They fixed it, even though they had to bring in their “Tier Two’ technicians. Thanks for your patience!)

(Note 2: I try to put in some helpful links in each of my entries. Today’s has a lot of good extra information if you want to do a deep dive. Just click on the light blue words.)