“I’ll never be normal.” That’s pretty harsh.

What does it mean to be normal, anyway? They say normal is just a setting on a clothes dryer. Maybe normality is subjective.

But to say “I’ll never be normal” is stating that you have a crystal ball and you already know the end game.

Maybe you’ve said some of these:

• ”I can’t stop beating myself up.”
• ”I’ll never be able to set goals and stick to them.”
• ”I’ll always give in to that temptation.”
• ”I don’t think I’ll ever be the kind of person others look up to.”

And so forth. If you want to go with current events:

• ”I’ll always live in fear of catching some horrific disease.”
• ”I don’t think I can ever be as relational as I once was.”
• ”If God let this happen, then I don’t think I can ever trust Him again.”
• ”If someone got sick because of me, I can never forgive myself.”

”I’ll never be normal?” you say? That is a cognitive distortion – a “false thought,” if you wish.

It may be that the false thoughts you have make you comfortable. It’s because you’re living in a world that you yourself created.

So, for you, is there now a “new normal,” one that exists outside of what’s going on inside your head?

If you’ve had any of those thoughts I listed above, take heart. You don’t have to be stuck there.

We live in a day right now in which the culture is telling you all sorts of things. You pick and choose and sort through what you’re hearing, and then you decide how to act on what you’re thinking and feeling. Guess what? You can snap out of this crazy culture.

Maybe you’ve tried before. Maybe you’ve failed. Maybe you’ve said, “I’ll never be normal.”

Here’s the term I want you to understand. It’s overgeneralization.

It’s when you take one tiny paint drop and use it to fill in a big picture. That will get you in big trouble. It’ll cause you to wave that surrender flag and saying, “I just don’t care anymore. This is the way I am and this is the way I’ll always be.”

It’s easier to say that than it is to face your demons head-on.

Know what? If you look back on your life, you’ll see victories. They may be small and of no consequence to anyone else. But you by-golly prevailed over something.

So, when you mess up, you can’t look at that as a permanent, life-defining failure. If you look at those slips as failures, you’ll convince yourself that you’re at a dead end and there is nothing else you can do.

So here’s your assignment when you say “I’ll never be normal.”

That false thought of “I’ve failed?” Replace it with “I’ve learned.” Every misstep is an opportunity to learn.

(I know I lost some folks right then, because they’re interpreting that as some feel-good, motivational hoodoo.)

More truth: If you look back at a time when you failed and you thought that you’d never be “normal,” check this out. You’re still standing. The sun rose on you this morning. That means you learned something. Give yourself  a high five. And ask: “What did I learn from this?”

I’d contend that so many things we classify as failures actually are wins.

There are a couple of approaches to life in these days.

You can blame your heart state and your feelings that “I’ll never be normal” on external issues: The ‘Rona, your parents, your environment, your relationships, etc.

Or you can blame internal issues: Your temperament, your personality, your astrological sign (okay, please, ignore that last one.)

Most people are a mix of the two. And granted, some things are really out of your hands.

Here’s the solution, and I think it’s worth the price of admission:

Grab hold of what you can control, and make the very best of it.

In other words, own it. Try this: Make a list of what things are not in your control. Look at that list and ask: “How can I control the uncontrollable?” If you really can’t control it, let it go, Elsa. But if you can, pull that thing inside yourself and own it.

Be well. Stay safe.