It’s complicated, isn’t it? I mean, life and everything these days.

Here’s my testimony from last week. It’s quite personal.

I like to share my blog with you Dear Pilgrims twice a week, preferably on Tuesdays and Fridays. (Those are our garbage pickup days. I don’t think there’s a connection. Maybe there is.)

Last week I blogged once, on some random day. I basically couldn’t do any more than that.

Why? Like I said, it’s complicated.

Some background … if you’ve been reading my stuff for the last year or so, you’re aware of my brain injury, that whole post-concussion syndrome ordeal. If you want any background to understand this context, you can read it here. (Scroll to the bottom of the page.)

I haven’t been afraid of CORONA-19, or at least of catching it. I simply play the odds: numerically, the odds are small to the extreme I’ll get it (or any of us would), and the odds of it being fatal are even smaller.

Nevertheless, I’ve stayed in. I’m still not real comfortable going out. I’ve worn a mask in public. (Non-mask wearers tend to glare at those of us who do. Whatever.)

Still, last week I was absolutely paralyzed by anxiety and depressions.

Why? Like I said, it’s complicated.

On the spectrum between “Everything is fine” and “I can’t cope,” I don’t know where you find yourself these days. Can I suggest something? Don’t be adverse to admitting where you are, at least to yourself.

So here’s your Uncle Tony, wrapped in the toxic embrace of the worst funk imaginable. I did my day job with excellence. I kept up my personal quiet time and devotional, and that was a sweet retreat.

Still. I was experiencing a low that extension ladders wouldn’t help me get out of.

I didn’t think it was improper to ask, “Why, Lord? What’s going on here?”

Again, the answer … “It’s complicated.”

I’m happy to report that most of that is in the rear-view mirror. (As I type this, I’m dealing with a migraine, which has also been a byproduct of my injury. I’ll wrap this and take my really good meds.)

I’ve tried to come up with an explanation. I hope this is universal enough to encourage you, too.

1. These are unprecedented times for all of us. You are not alone in feeling and experiencing the things you do, but that doesn’t mean it’s any easier.
2. Some plans and aspirations you may have had are now on perpetual hold, and there really isn’t anything you can change about that. What you can change, however, is your heart toward them. Act, and your feelings will catch up later.
3. You’ve lost something through all this. Loss, especially involuntary loss, is not pleasant.
4. You wonder what the “new normal” will look like, and perhaps you’re anxious about that.
5. Give yourself permission to have a meltdown. That can be cathartic. It’s your soul’s way of admitting that you feel helpless.

Remember, feelings are the great betrayers. And I don’t think you can compartmentalize them. They impact every niche of your life.

So what are we to do? It’s complicated.

Or is it?

It’s basic. That doesn’t mean it’s not hard. But you can be in a better place.

1. Acknowledge the reality of where you are. In my case, my free-floating anxiety and morbid depression were legitimate feelings. But I know that those feelings are transitory, and that they would pass.
2. Move yourself into a place where rational thinking can take hold. That may mean a news fast, for instance. That 24 hour news cycle can take a toll on you.
3. Social media is really toxic these days. Avoid it, or at least avoid things that will corrupt your soul.
4. Don’t run from your problems. Face them head-on. Embrace them. That sounds counter-intuitive, but it really works. It’s like calling out a bully.
5. Believer, remember you are not in charge. You are not sovereign over the world (be grateful, because if you were in charge, you’d mess it up.)
6. Look to the One Who is sovereign. He’s tirelessly working in a fashion we can’t understand. Throughout the epochs of history, nothing has caught Him unawares. Nothing has ever happened that didn’t pass through His omnipotent hands.
7. That last statement works on a cosmic, universal level … but more importantly, it works in your heart and soul on an intensely personal level.

Yes, it’s complicated these days. So?

For me personally, I let fear, depression, and uncertainty paralyze me and keep me from doing the most simple things, such as being faithful to keep my blog out there.

My inclination is to say, “Shame on me!” But I’ve given myself permission to acknowledge that I had a tough time, but that tough time doesn’t define me, nor is it a permanent condition.

Your headspace, your emotions, wherever you find yourself is not a prison. God holds the key to whatever cell you may think you’re in. You may spend some time behind figurative bars, but in due time, you’ll be released … if you want to be released.

Sweet. It’s complicated, for sure, but your ordeal is faced while in the embrace of God, Who “gets it,” and most certainly gets you.