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The gift of pain and loss. I’ll bet that’s not a thought you’ve had lately. A gift? Really?

On its face, this sounds like one of the most dismal topics for blogging ever. But I’ve been thinking about this, and I’d like to share some conclusions. Pain and loss is real, and can be crippling. There are some nuances we can explore, though.

You’ve experienced pain and loss, just as I have.

We won’t get into an “Oh, yeah? My pain and loss was worse than yours. You thought yours was bad. Listen to this.”

I could tell stories, and you could too.I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Let me unpack this for us.

1. Pain and loss transform us. That’s unquestionable, isn’t it? We aren’t the same after those painful, isolating experiences. Our response is what makes the difference in how we weather those experiences.
2. Pain and loss can unravel us. You ever feel like your life is coming apart at the seams? That’s what I’m talking about. However…
3. They can also push us to a deeper life than we ever thought possible. They make us rest in God alone. That’s it, right there. It’s all about His all-suffiency.
4. The temptation for believers is to focus on what we can do or achieve for God. Or, perhaps, focusing on what He can do or achieve for us. That’s focusing on the wrong thing, as positive as it may sound,.
5. The truth is that in pain and loss, we long to know that God is for us and with us and in us. Pain and loss can “hollow” us. We can feel isolated. Sometimes we get the sense that “no one understands, not even God.”
6. Pain and loss are often borne in silence because we don’t want to come across as whiners. I get that.
7. But – while great friends, family, wealth, and health are all wonderful gifts we can thank God for (and we should), they are not His greatest blessings.

All those blessings may make us happy, not about God, but about His gifts.

See the difference?

When we have all the “stuff,” which you have because God has seen fit to let you have it, it’s way too easy to look to the gift and forget the giver.

Job figured this out. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.

Sobering, perhaps, but it’s part of our pilgrimage of faith. We don’t like to think about God taking away something that He Himself gave us.

Here’s God’s plan in all this. And, yeah, I understand that His ways are not our ways or our thoughts.

God will lead you through that dark valley. It’s part of the process He uses to conform us to the image of Jesus. And if pain and loss are a necessary part of that plan – and it certainly was for our Lord – then we need to brace for impact.

God’s not capricious. He doesn’t necessarily have our best interests in mind. Our best interests may be counter to His, because from the vantage point of eternity He knows what ultimately brings Him glory.

That may seem unfair to us. At that point, faith needs to kick in. It may just be mustard seed faith, but He’ll honor even that.

He wants us to depend on Him. Totally. Completely. And He will engineer circumstances so that we are made so needy that we willingly depend on Him.

I’ve heard folks say, “Well, that just makes you a puppet.”

Tony’s response? “Make me a puppet!” I can’t think of anything grander to have all my steps guided by His, to the extent that His thoughts are my thoughts and His ways are my ways!

See what that does? It takes our personal “performance” off the table.

So when you do experience pain and loss, guess what? God does and will use that. It’s a gift, because He gave it to you.

I know it’s hard to be a grateful recipient when you’re facing the bad things. I don’t have some theological secret formula to make it any easier.

But God does. He supernaturally equips you to weather the storm. Not only does He send or allow the storm, He provides the shelter that will protect you from the storm.

You’ll come to be satisfied with Him rather than what He can do for you.

O be joyful.